


Tumble Into Middle Earth

by cherryflowerblossoms



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Books focus but Movie fusion, Broody Dwarves, But I figured someone may enjoy it too, Drama, Dwarves are bae, F/M, Human from our world turned into an Elf, I also love tags can you tell, I wrote this for my own enjoyment, I'm such a damn nerd, In fact most of Tolkien's characters are bae, Language Barrier, M/M, May seem Mary Sue-ish but I promise it is not, Meddling Valar, Meddling Wizard, Modern Tech in Middle Earth, Multi, Music plays a role as a good Tolkien fic should, OFC is terrifed these Middle Earthers are gonna think she is a witch or something, Please dont burn my OFC at the stake guys, Romance, Tolkien and his songs are bae, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 124,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryflowerblossoms/pseuds/cherryflowerblossoms
Summary: Someone from our world being pulled into Middle Earth is a theme that is done a great deal, but rarely done in a realistic way. A lot of things are rarely ever really flushed out: why would such a thing happen? How? What would it truly be like for someone who is a real fan of Tolkien and has so much knowledge of that world to sudden be tossed into that world? What kind of struggles would they face? What would it be like to meet these storybook characters whose fates you know when they are flesh and blood people? What would it be like to carry such a weight? These are things I often think about and  lead me to writing down what I thought it may be like."To Tumble Into Middle Earth", is an exploration of those thoughts and follow the OFC Helen, a fan of Tolkien, who finds herself faced with the impossible. Meeting creatures and beings from stories, she must figure out what to do now that she stands before these people she thought were fairy tales. Will she use her knowledge of Middle Earth or will the burden of knowing break her?Eventual romance. Some Angst. Language Barrier(for a time). Valar meddling. Gandalf is amused.





	1. Prologue

As with every story, there is: a beginning, a middle, and an end; this tale is no different. However, unlike many stories that tell about other worlds & times and talk of beings that come alive out of fairy tales and legends, this is also a true story. You can take my word for it. After all, it happened to me.

And let me tell you, whatever it is you think you would do if you ever woke surrounded by fairytale beings, is most probably so far from how you would actually behave in said situation that to see the two side-by-side would be like comparing night to day. As an avid, and rather professional, bookworm, I can tell you that it so far exceeded any possible conjuring of my imagination and left me feeling so many things at once that it became entirely difficult to be sure about what was real and what was a dream. Such an odd and indescribable sensation, let me tell you.

Perhaps it is best that I start at the beginning, for although this is a story of my journeys, it is about so much more. It is about a world many of us have read about and come to love through books and movies. It is a story about the people in that world and how one small person can make a rather large difference in the lives of many.

Our story begins many years ago, an age ago really. I was an entirely different person then. One could even say I was a different kind of person entirely, but we shall get to that later. I was raised in a warm household, nontraditional and traditional all at once. The eldest daughter of a single mother, we had hard times but our home was always warm and our bellies and heart were never empty. I grew up on stories from my Grandmother; fantastical and magical stories where Fairies, Leprechauns, Trolls, Dwarves, and Elves were real and great deeds were done. Many of these stories had been passed down in my family from parent to child as far back as anyone could remember. Being of Irish descendent, you could say that I was well-versed in all that was Fae Folk. It was simply a part of my life. It was her stories that sparked a passion for learning and adventure that has lasted me all my life.

So, when I stumbled into the fantastical and awoke surrounded by actual Fairytale Folk come to life, you can imagine how surprised I was. In fact, I was caught so incredibly off guard that I physically attacked a living legend, threatened the heirs of a realm, and yelled at royalty on several occasions. Though, I didn’t discover who they were until later. The result of my rather odd world jump was an adventure that I will never forget and the meeting of people who will live in my heart forever more.

But, let us begin where all things must, the beginning…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in 1st person, keeping in tune with the feel of how Bilbo introduces his own story. The rest will not be in 1st person, but in 3rd person semi omnipresent.


	2. Into The Wilderness

The last stretch of good weather before the snows begin to fall. It’s when everyone is outside: in their yards, in the parks around town, going for drives, fishing in the mountain streams, enjoying a nice hike or camping, and others gather enough supplies for a long month and a half hike into the wilderness of Zion National Park on an Archeological survey.

Since moving from the flat ranchlands of her home state, Helen fell in love with the beauty of the American West: mountains, canyons, red rock sculptures, waterfalls, and forests. She was known to go off for days at a time when her professorial job would allow, and if she had the excuse of such a trip being work related, well then it was even better. Her longtime friend and practical sister, Charlotte, who moved across country with Helen on her “adventure” (otherwise known as getting the head of the Anthropology department fresh out of grad school), said that people who stumbled upon her would think she was insane. They’d call up the Forest Rangers talking about a crazy girl in cosplay and enough supplies for a nuclear fallout prancing about in the woods, among the rocks and over the plains. “Those Forest Rangers are gonna say ‘Here we go again’,” Charlotte would tease with her heavy southern twang, “You sure give those guys a run for their money, making them hunt you down out there to make sure you’re not some crazy person with a machete.”

To which Helen replies that it is a Bowie knife not a machete and that it’s a good thing her other knives are well disguised then, huh? The cosplay part Helen couldn’t help. She enjoyed her archery, and it was a skill that was handy when out in the middle of nowhere. Lighter than a rifle and ammo, her bow provided protection and food sources if needed. It was that and her habit of wearing billowy peasant blouses (more comfortable than any outdoor women's wear) and a kind of waist belt or underbust corset to keep the loose fabric out of her way when shooting or hiking that added to the "cosplay" look. It wasn't her fault that companies made a joke out of making proper outdoor clothing for women. It was all either too short or too form fitting, which limited range of motion, or it was non-durable fabrics that tore if you sneezed.

Helen was a small woman. Shorter in stature at only 5'2", her frame was slim but strong from all of her hiking. She wasn't willowy, but curvier, though far from an hourglass figure. Her heritage gave her pale skin dusted lightly with freckles across her nose, blue-gray eyes, and light-brown hair that flowed in soft waves to just past her shoulders. She was a pretty woman, but shy and self-conscious. Her ears had always been a sore spot for her. Helen’s ears were not unusual in shape, nor were they unusual in size really; but, they laid against her head in such a way that make the tips show through her hair just a hint if she let her hair lay flat. Since her hair was resistant to styling, it often ended up that way, and thus, this quirk was noticed by many. She took to wearing her hair in a french braid, loosening the sides to cover her ear as best she could, and making her hair keep the waviness when she did wear it down. Charlotte was quick to assure Helen that her ears were fine. Still it was a sore spot for her friend. Helen felt self-conscious about them, and Charlotte was always there to convince her otherwise.

“Oh well, I’m not about to stay indoors this week. The Rangers down in Zion received reports from some hikers that there is some odd rock art near a newly discovered waterfall deep in the park. They took a picture and the image looks so out of place that I have to go check it out, of course I jumped at the opportunity when the Smithsonian contacted our department. It will need to be protected as soon as I can verify it. Plus, I can enjoy these last weeks of nice weather before winter hits,” Helen shrugged as she toss a bag into the back of her truck. “Besides, I won’t be alone. I’ll have company with me,” she added with a smirk.

Charlotte’s tinkling laugh was in contrast to her hands on her hips and stern look, “Oh yes, a horse and a dog are gonna really do a lot of good.”

Helen giggled a bit as she gave her horse, Aurora, a fond pat on the cheek as she passed by where the golden horse was watching from the window of the its trailer. Aurora nickered down to Helen in response as if to say, “You tell her!”

Helen shook her head with a grin, “Yeah, well, at least I’ll have company.”

Charlotte laughed as she skipped down the steps of the house, Lou, a gray and white Husky, following close behind as she made her way over to give Helen a hug, “Oh, I know you’ll be fine. I just like to give ya a hard time.”

She giggled as Helen made a face at her before opening the truck door letting Lou jump into the cab. Hoping in the truck and calling out from the lowered window, Helen huffed, “Don’t I know it.”

“So, you’ll be gone for six weeks?” Charlotte double-checked.

“Yup,” Helen nodded as she started the truck. “So, don’t send out the search party until that following Monday,” she added teasingly.

“Oh hush or I’ll hide your books while your gone,” Charlotte gave Helen’s arm a light punch.

Helen’s face turned grim, “Now that _is_ a threat.”

Charlotte let out a snort of a laugh which was quickly joined with by Helen.

As their laughter sputtered out, Charlotte fidgeted, “Since you are taking Aurora this time, I packed up all of your camera stuff: solar charger, portable printer, photo paper and all. It’s in the bag with your survey equipment,” she smiled but Helen could see what hid beneath the surface.

“Char,” Helen frowned, “One of these days you’ll be well enough to come with me and I’ll take you to see all the secret wonders I’ve found.” She smiled slightly giving the hand resting on the door a squeeze, “Until then, I’ll have so many pictures that you won’t know what to do with them all.”

Charlotte smiled for real this time, “Good, ‘cause I put a new photo album in there too.” It was a tradition that had started way back when Helen had first started doing fieldwork, being gone at exotic locations for so long. Charlotte’s illness made it impossible for her to go out and explore, being raised together, the pair were like sisters and the memory of their childhood adventures made Helen’s heartbreak when the truth of her bizarre illness came to light. As it was with autoimmune disorders, the risk was too great, and so, Helen began to photograph her adventures, creating photo albums of each one with snippets of stories and such on the pages. Charlotte treasured each one more than gold, and so the tradition was born; upon her return from each excursion, a new album would be made and Charlotte would have a new adventure to enjoy.

Swallowing the growing lump in her throat, Helen gave a laugh to hide her inner turmoil, “Alright, alright. I’m off. Have fun working at the Theatre!”

Charlotte scoffed, “The show is Midsummer’s Night Dream. How could I not?”

And with that, Helen, Lou, and Aurora were off to Southern Utah’s Mount Zion National Park. It would take about several days of riding on the trail to make it to the site of the waterfall with the odd rock carvings; Helen was so excited she was practically buzzing.

* * *

 

Helen had been on the trail for three days, and now, early in the morning on the fourth day, she would reach the falls where she would camp for the next couple of weeks. Up ahead, flashes of Lou’s silver and white coat could be glimpsed darting through the undergrowth in front of the trail; he probably found another rabbit. He caught two already and Helen fully planned on making a stew later on to share with her little hunter. Aurora, on the other hand, would be munching down on lush grasses and happy as could be.

Helen leaned down and combed through some of her horse’s pitch-black mane; she was a magnificent horse. Golden bay by color, a Lusitano/Akhal-Teke mix by breed, she was a powerful animal. Seemingly fearless at times, the grace, swiftness and endurance of her blood made her a truly magnificent animal. She was extremely loyal and had a bond with her rider that was unrivaled by anything Helen had ever seen growing up around horses. Out on a trail in Colorado, she had gotten between Helen and a mountain lion intent on making the woman dinner. Luckily, Lou wasn’t with them that time; he had only been a puppy. But, Aurora struck at the cat with her hooves and bit at him until the cat, battered and bleeding, took off as fast as it could. Aurora had a long scar across her chest where a claw from the wild cat got her. It was a constant reminder, for Helen, just how lucky she was for the bond she had with her horse.

A yip from ahead brought Helen out of her thoughts as she looked up to see Lou prancing about, area increasingly green as they went coming into view from between the red rock canyons. Shortly after, the sounds of falling water signaled their arrival to the location of the waterfall.

Hopping out of the saddle, Helen gave the horse a pat to the neck as she walked ahead on foot. The spot was breathtaking. The red rock canyons above gave way to a fairly-sized valley below, a green oasis of trees and grasses fed by a beautiful waterfall that spilled into a large but shallow pool at its base. The pool fed a stream that wound down the valley eastward. The trail they had come in on was less a trail and more a cut through the rock. It was spectacular and the remoteness of the path to get there left Helen with no surprise that it had not been discovered sooner, and a fair amount of awe that it had been discovered at all.

With a content sigh and a few murmured blessings that her work allowed her this, Helen began to set up camp. She slid her pack off of her back and stretched out her muscles with a groan.

Aurora nickered nudging at her back, no doubt ready to get the load off her back.

“Alright,” Helen laughed, “I’m getting to it.”

With another nicker, Aurora nudged Helen’s with her muzzle as if to say, “Well hurry up! I want to run in the field!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it. Our OFC Helen. Incase there are any questions, here is a run down.
> 
> Helen works as a professor of Anthropology, specializing in Cultural studies in ancient rock art of various kinds. She double majored, getting her Master's in Literature, focusing a lot on Tolkien's works. She decided to get her PhD in Anthropology, however, and not in Literature. This is largely because she felt her focus of Tolkien may have needed her to go overseas to England, and Charlotte's health needed her to remain in the states. 
> 
> Charlotte has no family left, or at least, none that are in her life. Helen's family having all but taken her in as a child. Helen's father died when she was young and her mother died several years ago of cancer.
> 
> Helen and Charlotte are all either has. Thus their close relationship.
> 
> (As a side note, if I can figure it out, I'll provide pictures of Helen's dog, Lou, and her horse, Aurora)
> 
> -UPDATE-  
> I Figured out the picture thing! Woo woo!
> 
> Here is of Helen, Aurora, & Lou! Enjoy!
> 
> https://imgur.com/a/nBGmr


	3. The Tumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen takes a bit of a tumble, and why you shouldn't follow random women when out in the wild.

Helen sat down with a sigh. It had been an amazing 5 days so far. Aurora spent her time in the field running and munching on the grasses. Lou caught dinner, or part of it, for the first 3 nights before the wildlife learned to avoid the area around camp. Still, meals of rabbit twice more and a few small game birds made the trip nicer than having to eat the dehydrated packed food Helen had brought along. Luckily, bears and wolves were not common in the State Park due to the largely desert-like conditions. Aside from little green pockets like their current canyon, green was a rare color for the region for most of the year. Coyotes were too skittish and not hungry enough to try, and so, they had been largely left in a state of calm peace for the near week they had been present so far. The nights were calm and quiet and Helen was able to partake in her favorite pastime of reading. She had finished her first book in the first two nights, and since she had only three left for the weeks ahead, she was taking her time with her second.

Unfortunately, enjoying nature and relaxing was not the only reason for their trip. Helen spent each of the five days searching the area for the carvings that had been spotted and photographed. The hikers had done a good job of photographing the heck out of the markings themselves and their locations in the rock face of the canyon, but try as she might, Helen couldn’t locate the spot. She scouted out the area for a mile all around in the mornings, around rock faces, boulders, and on both sides of the falls. Afterwards, she’d give up and take a break to practice archery. Then she’d take photos of the area and some wildlife, along with some of Aurora and Lou doing silly things.

With a frown, Helen studied the images of the carving for the thousandth time. She couldn’t understand how something like this could be in North America, let alone as far in and remote as Zion. The carving, if she did not know of the supposed location, would have made her say it was taken in England or Ireland. It looked so very Celtic. At the same time, it had what appeared to be Norse runic writing around it like a frame of text. The fine details were hard to decipher in the image, but it looked like spiraled vine work that twisted together to create two trees with the sun and the moon on either sides. It was completely unprecedented anywhere around the world. No carvings like it had ever been discovered before. If verified, it could rewrite history. It could be of an unknown group of people, or be of lost art from previously known peoples whose skills far exceeding previous understanding. It was a momentous discovery. And, she couldn’t find them.

With a groan, Helen packed the image away into her pack. She had decided to move their little camp to the other side of the stream where a nice open area allowed for her to set up camp closer to the falls. It was an area of higher ground that she hadn’t spotted upon first entering the little valley, and would perhaps give her more shelter and a different angle to view the canyon walls. That is what she told herself anyways. In truth, she was getting antsy with her lack of locating the carvings and the move of camp was more to give her something to focus on other than her failure. So, their little rag-tag gang was packed and loaded for the 15 minute trek downstream a bit to the best crossing point before moving upstream to the raised ground near the base of the falls.

The short ride was relaxing. That area of Zion country was simply beautiful –completely remote. It was amazing that anyone had found it to begin with. As they approached the area that would be camp for the remainder of their stay, Helen took in the beautiful mix of conifer and aspen trees surrounding the little grassy glen near the pool of the falls. The splash of green against the backdrop of the red sandstone canyons surrounding the area made for a vivid display. It was breath taking.

Upon hearing a bark, Helen looked around realizing that Lou was not in sight anymore. “Lou?”

An answering yip was heard from the trail running between a set of boulders leading to the base of the waterfall.

With a sigh, Helen clicked at Aurora, “Alright girl,” she said patting the horse’s neck, “let’s go see what he caught for lunch this time.” With a snort, Aurora trotted down the trail.

“Lou?” Helen called once more as they passed through the pathway bringing the bottom of the falls into clear view, “Here boy, we don’t need another rabbit. Come on, Lou.” Helen ducked under a low hanging branch only to sit up and find herself at a loss for words. Aurora stopped alongside Lou as he stared at his “catch”.

Lou stood proudly on a little path to the falls wagging his tail with his big goofy doggy grin on full blast and his “catch” standing on a flat rock in the pool by the bottom of the falls.  

Helen could do little more than blink. There on a rock in the pool of the falls, stood a woman in a pale blue gown of sheer silks. Her bare feet were visible upon the moss of the rock and her hair was long and unbound, a curtain of black falling well past her waist. It appeared as though she had a faint glow about her, but Helen attributed that to the mist of the falls sparkling through the air as the sunlight caught it.

‘What the heck was this lady doing out here?’ Helen wondered. ‘And in a dress like that to boot…’ Helen cleared her throat, “I’m sorry, ma’am. Lou is harmless. He was just startled to see another human out here. You see, we’ve been camping for the past 5 days just across the stream there,” she gestured downstream, “And, I scouted the area often; in fact, I just got back from a scout earlier. I am a bit surprised to see anyone else out here.” She looked at the black haired woman and tilted her head, “You aren’t lost are you?”

The woman only smiled softly.

“…Right…” and then a thought hit her, “Do you speak English?” Helen gestured to her mouth and head as if to ask if the woman understood.

She merely gestured Helen to follow before stepping off the rock onto a little path of stones by the falls.

“Do you want me to help you find your way back?” Helen asked as she clicked at Aurora urging the horse to walk around the rest of the pool to Lou and the silent woman. “Is your camp nearby?”

The woman nodded and turned to the falls. She walked closer to the falling water before looking back at Helen. “Come,” she said.

Her voice made the hairs on the back of Helen’s neck stand on end. It had a odd quality to it, like many voices speaking at once, and yet felt warm and comforting all at the same time. Before Helen could ask where exactly they were going the woman stepped forward disappearing behind the curtain of water.

“What the…?” Helen stared after her dumbfounded. Helen had been to the falls and explored all around this area and never had she noticed that someone could walk behind the falls. As Aurora walked closer, it was clear that the path behind was indeed big enough for a horse and rider, and the other side could be seen. Helen paused wondering if she should follow the weird, bare-footed lady in the medieval gown who was wandering around in the middle of nowhere. It was the reminder that many people had thought she herself was a crazy, cosplay lady in the wild half the time that made her mind up.

Edging closer to the falls, Helen noticed the carvings she’d been searching for upon the rock face behind the wall of water. She gasped in awe, her fingers reaching out to touch them. They weren’t carved at all. They were a design made by what appeared to be silver inlayed into the rock. Lou barked and ran after the woman disappearing on the other side. “Well great…” Helen sighed and glanced to the beautiful designs longing to study them before urging Aurora forward, hooves clacking on stone as they went.

Helen sighed in relief as they stepped out into the daylight on the other side, only to curse as she took in her surroundings, “Shit!” She looked around frantically. She was on a cliff, a very tall, very out of place cliff of grey rock, and on a ledge just big enough for Aurora to stand on.

She looked around for the woman only to see nothing but a good 70 foot drop down the cliff face alongside a waterfall that was at least double that in height total. Helen blanched as she searched around for a way out of the predicament. ‘This should not be here,’ she knew for a fact that there are no falls that tall around in the area and the rock was all wrong. Where were the red sandstone, smooth cliff sides of Zion? Where did all this grey granite come from? 

“Lou?” Helen called out.

An answering bark came from down below.

Helen leaned as much as she dared in her saddle and spotted her happy pup sitting by the river bed down below. “How the hell did you get down there?” she wondered irritably, her previous concern for the lost woman quickly was replaced by fear and annoyance at her situation. She glanced around and looked behind to see if there was a way to safely backup. Perhaps she’d find an alternate path a different way down from where they came.

“What the hell!?” The path behind them was gone.

Helen carefully slid off Aurora and ran her hands along the now flat, solid rock behind them. “What the hell is going on?” She growled as she hit the rock in frustration. It didn’t make any sense. Plopping her forehead against the stone, she tried to think of a way to get her and her horse down off of the waterfall safely.

Aurora whinnied and snorted stomping her hoof on the ledge nervously. Patting her neck, Helen whispered, “Easy, girl, easy. Don’t go getting all panicky on me now.” But the horse ignored her completely, her ears swiveling about.

Then the ground rumbled. 'An earthquake?' she thought before dismissing it for she wasn't in an area known for such things. Aurora became increasingly agitated, stomping her hooves and bobbing her head frantically. The ground rumbled again. This time Helen noticed that the water flow of the falls on either side of them was beginning to increase in the volume of water. Helen looked around and saw that the ground they were on was actually quite wet. The ground trembled more violently, sending a few rocks down from their ledge. A thought struck Helen, her head snapping up to look above, her mouth falling open at the sight.

The falls above them appeared to be parted, as though giant invisible hands pulling open a curtain. As though they had been adjusted to move around the pair stuck on the cliffside. Just as the awe of the sight sank in, the curtain fell closed with a roar, “Crud,” she grumbled dryly.

Helen barely had time to think let alone brace herself or her horse before they were swept off the ledge and blackness enveloped her.

* * *

A groan escaped parched lips as Helen struggled to open her eyes and lift her face from the pebbles pressing into it. The aches running through her body made it hurt to even breathe. ‘What happened?’ She wondered as she managed to flop onto her back and rather uncomfortably land on her quiver and bow still strapped to her back.

“Oomph!”

‘Yup, that hurt,’ she breathed slowly again before thinking about how she ended up on the ground. She remembered packing to move camp. ‘Aurora was all ready to go, but…’ she struggled to remember anything through the aches. ‘Lou!’ She recalled Lou had found a woman by the waterfall. In fact… she could hear the falls now. Bolting upright as everything came rushing back to her.

“Aurora!” she called out, “Lou!” Standing up a bit wobbly and glancing along the banks of the river, Helen looked up to the falls and could make out the ledge Aurora and her had been stuck on just barely peaking out from the rushing waterfall. It really was quite a ways up there. She began to panic, “Aurora! Aurora!” She put her hands to her mouth to amplify the sound, “Lou!” The hairs on the back of her neck rose and she froze. She was being watched.

Taking a deep calming breath, she readied herself reaching for the Bowie knife she kept at her waist. A slight movement behind her had her breathe calmingly before pulling the knife out and spinning to face whatever was creeping up behind her expecting a predator of some kind.

She blinked. Her blade point rested against the chest of a tall, very attractive looking man with long, curly, golden blonde hair and his sword in turn rested against her own neck.

He cocked an eyebrow haughtily.

‘Oh hell no,’ she frowned at the man before maneuvering away from his blade and swiping her feet out causing him to fall onto his back with a good hard thud, his mass of golden curls spread around him like a halo. He looked entirely too clean and pretty to be frolicking about in the wilderness. At least his smug smirk was gone.

She kicked his blade away and stepped on his chest pointing her blade down at him, “Who are you?” she demanded. She was not about to have some dude sneaking up behind her with a weapon. “Freakin’ creeper,” she grumbled angrily to herself as she applied more pressure making him wince slightly and his frown deepen.

She jumped backwards as laughter rang out from the brush in front of her. Two identical, brown-haired men (also oddly attractive and clean) emerged hysterically laughing and clutching their sides. The blonde one got up and dusted himself off with a sigh, clearly not finding the situation amusing.

Helen stepped back and unclipped her bow, quietly drawing an arrow from the quiver. The sound caught their attention and abruptly stopped the laughter. “I said, who are you?” her voice firm.

The two brown-haired twins raised their hands in defeat with slight smiles as the blonde man looked at her with a searching frown. One of them stepped forward and bowed his head, “My name is Elrohir. This,” he gestured to his twin, “is Elladan, my brother. And the one whom you toppled to the ground is Glorfindel.”

“Such odd names,” she said more to herself before the names clicked and she scoffed, "Right, right. Sure you are. And I'm actually a Queen." A huff came from one of the men and she shot a glare at the three of them, “What are you doing so far out in the wilderness and sneaking up on women?” She frowned again pointing her bow at the blonde, Glorfindel, as he made to step forward.

He stopped and rose his hands in a gesture of surrender, “Lady, it is you who should tell us a name and give reason for being on this land.”

‘This land?’ her tension on the string faltered in confusion. “I’m sorry. I was under the impression that these canyons and surrounding areas were a part of the Zion State Park and open to all. No one owns any of these lands. They are government property. And no one has been in the area for the past five days. I have kept a thorough scout of the area, and yet, this morning I discover four people closer than should be possible considering the ground I covered and the distance from civilization I’ve traveled.” She paused for a moment in thought, “Say, you three wouldn’t happen to know a dark-haired woman in a long flowy gown that wanders around the woods bare foot and hardly talks would you? I’d like to have a few words with her for her little cliff trick.”

The one named Elladan spoke up, “My Lady, I assure you that this land is indeed called Imladris and not…Zee-un State Park. I must say I am curious as to how you managed to sneak past our border guards…” he said politely with a faint smile apparently finding this whole thing rather amusing.

Elrohir stepped forward slowly gesturing if he may continue. Helen lowered her bow slightly, but kept it ready. “We have seen no other in the woods save for you,” he stood nearer looking her over curiously, “My Lady, why the Valar are you so wet?” Elladan snickered softly before stopping short as Helen shot him an unimpressed glare.

She looked to Elrohir and Glorfindel. She was irritated they seemed intent on keeping up with the 'We are elves and this is Rivendell' thing. She sighed pinching the bridge of her nose, “My horse and I fell off a ledge on the falls,” her voice monotone as she tried to stop from snapping at them. She wasn't in the mood to play around, but she also didn't want to piss off a bunch of strangers.

Glorfindel gasped, “You say that you and your horse were on the cliffs of the falls?” She nodded. “And whatever were you doing up there?” he looked at her as though she had sprouted two heads.

She glared at the three of them, “It was not exactly planned.” She sighed and realized they’d want more details than that, “I was preparing to move my camp, when I noticed that my dog was not around. I got on my horse and went to look for him, only to discover that he had found a woman by the small falls near our camp. I asked if she needed help and beckoned me to follow. I assumed she could not speak very much English. I rode Aurora and followed her and my dog, Lou, on this path that led behind the curtain of the falls. I tell you,” She looked at the huge cliff behind her, “before that moment, that path did not exist. I have been all over these cliffs and red rock valleys countless times in this past week. But, I followed her, wanting to ensure that she was safe. Next thing I know, we are stuck on a ledge of a massive cliff that should not be there unable to retrace our steps because the path was replace by solid rock of a different kind from when we began.” She paused remembering the fear and panic of that moment and once more overwhelmed by the oddity of all that had happened.

“Whatever were you doing camped out here?” Elrohir asked quizzically as if the very idea that she’d want to do such a thing was the most bizarre thing he had ever heard.

she bit back a retort about them being way out here too, and answered, “I was sent here by the University I work for, by order of the Smithsonian, to analyze some out of place and seemingly very ancient rock carvings. Being a specialist, it is my duty to classify, identify, and catalogue the finding and its location so that it can be properly protected from those who would wish to tamper with it,” She answered.

“University?” Elladan said, “But there have not been any true Universities of Knowledge since Gondolin.”

Helen blinked, “I beg your pardon?” Who are these morons? She thought before clearing her throat lightly, “I assure you that there are plenty of Universities. Are you all really going to keep up this whole 'Middle Earth' thing? Do you think it is really appropriate right now?”

“Your job. What is your title, my lady?” Glorfindel asked ignoring her Middle Earth ramblings as her possibly suffering a concussion from her fall.

“Please don’t call me 'lady'; it weirds me out. And, I am a Cultural Anthropologist,” She answered.

Elladan’s eyebrows shot up, “A what?”

Helen groaned feeling increasingly like she was suffering a concussion or a bad dream, and yet, all too used to having to explain her career to people. She searched her mind for a better term, “A Historian of Ancient cultures and peoples,” she offered.

“Ah”, Elrohir and Elladan exclaimed in unison.

“My Lady, tell us how you came to be down here from the falls,” Glorfindel urged.

She shook her head, “You are going to think I’m crazy.” At their curious gazes, she sighed looking back along the shores again, “The ledge began to rumble. The whole cliff began to rumble, which can't be right, right? There aren't earthquakes in this part of the country, right? Anyway, Aurora was in a panic. I looked up to see a …”

Elrohir placed a hand on her shoulder in offered comfort.

“I looked up to see a wall of water coming towards us. The thing is, the water appeared as though it had been parted around us like an opened veil,” She sighed. “When the water snapped back into place, we were washed off and down. I saw Lou down here safe and sound before that… I have yet to find a sign of Aurora since,” she answered sadly.

Elladan spoke up once more, “My Lady, your animal friends are quite safe. We found a golden mare and a wolfish dog hours ago wandering the opposite side of the river. They have been led back to our home and are safe.”

“Even if, Elladan was not,” Elrohir laughed.

“It seemed your horse did not want to leave the river side,” Glorfindel explained with a hint of humor in his voice.

She smiled, “Probably not, she is very loyal.” She glanced over to Elladan, “I’m sorry if she bit you too hard.”

“I am fine, my Lady,” his smile looked more like a grimace.

The wind blew and she froze.

She blinked slowly at the twins and the blonde.

“What the…” her voice trailed off.

Glorfindel tilted his head making what was reveal with the breeze more apparent, “Are you alright? You’ve gone rather pale.”

She blinked dumbly at the three of them, “You guys are really going all out with the cosplay thing, aren't you?” She looked them over fully and noticed more than how clean they were. For the first time, she really looked at their clothing. Each was wearing a long tunic with long sleeves and leggings with soft leather boots on their feet. Each had a bow strapped to their backs (not that she didn’t) but all together, they looked ready for the Renaissance Faire or a good round of cosplay.

“I beg your pardon, my Lady?” Glorfindel asked obviously confused.

“Wait…” the gears in her brain began to spin and light bulbs and red flags flew through her mind, “You say your home is Imladris and that your names are Glorfindel, Elrohir and Elladan…” She shook her head suddenly feeling a bit off and a tad angry. “Is this some kind of joke to you? I've just fallen off a damn cliff and you think it's funny to mess around pretending to be elves and mess with my head?” She glared at them aiming her bow again causing them to back away with raised hands and looks of alarm.

Elrohir began, “My Lady-“

“Don’t ‘My Lady’ me. I want answers and I want them now,” She seethed behind clenched teeth. “You three need to cut the act. Where is my horse and dog so I can get away from you lunatics and get home? And what are your real names? Haven't you had your fun? Playing a prank on someone who just nearly died?” They looked at each other with bewildered expressions. “Well, answer me? And take off the fake ears, I have had enough of this role play crap. Y’all seem nice enough, but this act has gone on long enough. I’m going to have a late start getting back as it is.”

Glorfindel moved forward slightly, “My Lady, we cannot call you anything else for you have not told us your name. And, I am afraid I do not understand you when you mention an act or cosplay? That is foreign word, I think? And, as for our ears, my Lady, I assure you we do not jest with you. We are what we appear to be.”

She took a few breaths fighting away the dizziness as she lowered her bow and stomped towards him, “Real?” She demanded quietly stopping before reaching out to touch the pointed ear sticking out of his golden hair.

He nodded as if giving permission, “Go ahead…if you must.”

She hesitated before touching the ear, “Oh my god.” She had been in theatre all through high school and some in college; Charlotte was a costume and makeup designer. Helen knew what prosthetics felt like. “They are real,” she blinked as she gave them a light tug to be sure, earning a startled yelp from Glorfindel.

She swayed on her feet a bit. “Imladris… that’s Rivendell…elves?” She looked around at the forest of trees that did not grow in Zion and the many falls cascading over gray rock into a large valley filled by a river and a very large, elegant house settled not far away, “Oh my god…” The trees and plants... they were all wrong. Everything was all wrong. “I’m… I’m not near Zion anymore… am I?”

She faintly heard Elladan’s answer, “I fear I have never heard of such a place before now.”

She nodded, “Right.” She blinked again. “Right…” And then her world went black for the second time that day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Helen.  
> I almost feel badly for confusing her so, but it would surely be very confusing to actually experience. Realism is the goal here, so sorry Helen! :P I adore Elrohir, Elladan, and Glorfindel. Can you tell?
> 
> As promised, some images:
> 
> Aurora: https://imgur.com/a/MEStV  
> Lou: https://imgur.com/a/sgShq  
> And a bit of art for the story so far~
> 
> The odd lady at the falls: https://imgur.com/a/D6FRZ


	4. Sinking In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her situation and what it means sinks in.

A groan escaped parched lips and Helen struggled to open her eyes and lift her head. ‘Huh, this seems oddly familiar,’ she mused.

“What a weird dream,” she muttered as she snuggled into her soft pillow. She started to doze back off before her nose began to tickle uncontrollably, “Crud,” she grumbled before sneezing so hard she wound up sitting up in the bed.

She grabbed her head, “Ugh, ouch.”

Turning to look for her phone on the night stand, she froze. ‘I can’t see.’ She waved her hands in front of her face in increasing panic. ‘I can’t see at all.’ She stumbled off the bed to her feet before pausing. Her ears perked up. ‘I’m not alone.’ Her body tensed waiting for any sign as to where the intruder was.

“Child, your eyes work just fine I assure you,” a gruff male voice drifted from a smaller distance than she would’ve liked. He chuckled, “Your mind, however, may have been more damaged than our Host originally believed. Your eyes are bandaged, child.”

‘Well, shit,’ she thought with a huff, moving to remove the hindrance from her sight.

“Ah ah,” the man tsked, “I would not do that if I were you, your healer would be most upset with you,” a smile was evident in his voice, “and at me for allowing you to do it.”

Helen sighed, “Where am I? Am I at the hospital?”

Silence.

“H-hello?” She called out weakly.

“I am here, child,” the man said, “I am startled is all.” His voice seemed irritated, “I was told you had been informed of where you are by Glorfindel and the Lord’s sons. The twins I expect to forget such things, but Glorfindel has no excuse.”

She groaned as the memory of her “dream” came back. She plopped on to the edge of the bed, “Right… that.” She sighed, “They told me a location, but I find it a bit hard to believe.”

“And yet you know it to be the truth,” a new voice rang through the room, masculine and rich, causing her to jump. “Be not afraid, young one. I am here to check your bandages.”

Helen frowned as gentle hands began to unwind the fabric from her head, “How was I hurt? Last I recall, I passed out near the river.” The wrappings fell from her face causing her to squint at the harsh bright light momentarily.

“No one ever said that you were hurt, child,” the first male voice answered, a blurry grey blob not that far away and seated, it seemed.

She blinked a couple of times and saw an elderly man with a long beard wearing a grey robe and a point hat came into focus. “Why the bandages then?” She asked as she spotted that he was holding a tall wooden staff.

“Look into the glass, young one,” the second male voice said from beside her.

She looked up to see a regal looking man with long dark brown hair and a silver circlet with pointed ears visible due to his braids. She blinked and reached with shaking hands to the offered mirror. “Uh…” She stared at the reflection. “Wha-“ she paused reaching up to touch the oddity in the image. Anger surged through her. “What the hell did y’all do to me?” she yelled as she turned a fierce glare at the pair of men.

The regal brunette appeared unaffected while the elder man chuckled heartily.

“Young one, nothing was done to you by any here,” the regal man replied, “Over the past few days, I have observed them change from their previous state into how you now see them.”

She merely stared back at the mirror at the new point of her ears.

“Elrond wished for them to be covered when you first awoke,” the elder man said calmly, “He did not want you to discover them alone in case this was something new to you. The thought had crossed our minds that before had perhaps been a kind of cloaking spell to make them appear rounded?”

"This is definitely not how they should be," She huffed irritated at everything at once then paused, “Wait… did you say Elrond?” She turned to stare at the regal man. She blinked, “I just yelled at the Lord of Rivendell… lovely.”

At this he smiled kindly, “You are forgiven, young one.”

She smiled, “Then you,” she spoke to the elder man, “you must be Gandalf the Grey.”

He smiled at Lord Elrond’s dumbfounded look, “Why yes, child, I am.” He chuckled as Lord Elrond continued to look at Helen strangely, “Don’t worry old friend. The child is quite harmless.”

Elrond looked at her uncertainly before replacing the calm mask to his face, “We will leave you to your rest. A change of clothes will be brought to you and you will be shown to my library later. There is much for us to discuss.” Gandalf and he moved to leave.

“Wait,” she paused, “um… my Lord?”

The corner of Lord Elrond’s mouth twitched, “Yes?”

“Where are my bags? If I have them, I can use my own clothing,” she looked around.

“As you wish,” he nodded, “They are in the chest at the end of the bed.”

“Thanks,” She sighed in relief that she wouldn’t be forced to figure out a complicated elven dress.

After they left, she plopped back onto the bed. “So much for a month and a half trip,” she murmured to herself. “Charlotte is going to flip.”

* * *

 

She sighed as she looked around the room. The woodwork and artisanship put into the intricate carvings were like nothing she had ever seen… then again that would make sense seeing as how she was no longer even on the same plane of existence as Earth at the moment. Helen chuckled as she wondered just what any of the proponents of multiverse theory would do if they could see her now. “They’d probably shit a brick,” she laughed to herself.

She found a washbasin, not unlike those of the Victorian period, to wash hands and sponge bathe from. There was a dark wood armoire with the key in the lock and a matching vanity table with a rather intricately decorated glass mirror and a silver hair brush. With a frown, she began to wonder just where Middle Earth was as far as technology went. She might have to talk to Elrond about a few ways to make life easier for everyone. She was really going to miss taking hot showers… and indoor plumbing.

She grabbed her pack and saddle bags and plopped them on the bed, ‘Mine as well tidy up while I get ready.’ After putting her clothes and other things up, her eyes fell on the extra saddle bag that Charlotte packed –her camera gear. She carefully unzipped the bag (thanking herself for spending the extra bucks on high quality waterproof bags) and spotted a note on top:

“Helen,

Enjoy your trip! I demand pictures of all the amazing things you find! Now get to steppin’!

Love,

Char”

She giggled as she pictured Charlotte standing with a hand resting on one hip, the other wagging a finger.

Grabbing the portable printer and placing it and the paper in the armoire along with the solar charger, Helen grabbed the camera and headed to the balcony. She couldn’t contain a gasp as she looked out; her room was facing the main courtyard in front of Elrond’s home. There were a couple of elves talking below and down the path was the first of many bridges that lead over the many streams and rivers of Rivendell. She smiled and snapped a picture. No movie version nor art work had ever done the place justice. If she ever got back, Charlotte had to see this.

She went back inside, putting the camera in her messenger bag before getting ready. She hummed to herself as she quickly sponged off and pulled on a pair of black riding pants and boots along with a white peasant blouse and a black leather corset-like belt she wore to keep the billowy shirt under control. Helen wondered if she’d ever find a way back home.

A knock from the door had her shaking away her thoughts as she headed over to the door, only for smile to stiffen, “Elladan and Elrohir.”

They smiled politely, “Greetings.”

Helen swallowed nervously. When they had met her adrenaline and her not believing what was happening made their meeting a little less than kindly. With the realization of her situation sinking in slowly, she realized just who she had held at knife…and arrow point. She cleared her throat, “Listen, I’m sorry about before. I didn’t know who you were and I didn’t know how I got here or where here was. All I knew was that several men appeared when I should have been alone.”

Elladan lifted a hand, “All is forgiven.” Elrohir nodded in agreement.

She blinked, “Oh, uh…”

Elrohir studied her a moment, “You aren’t from around here, are you?”

She swallowed, “I don’t believe so.”

He studied her a moment longer before nodding and flashing a kind smile, “Very well then. Shall we…”

Elladan cut in offering his arm, “I’m sorry, you never mentioned your name.”

“Helen,” she smiled awkwardly at the pair. Taking his arm, she apologized once more, “I really am sorry about threatening to shoot you both.”

Elrohir truly smiled at that, “Thank you. Truly, I was a bit surprised. You are rather fierce for your small stature.”

At that Helen grinned, “You know what they say?”

“No, what do they say?” He asked intrigued.

“It’s the small ones you have to watch out for,” she grinned smugly.

Elladan and Elrohir’s bell-like laughter filled the halls making her stumble a bit. Tolkien’s description of Elves had not really grasped what it was like to meet one. It was a bit like being surrounded by supermodels that seemed to radiate a kind of ethereal glow from the inside out; some had more a glow to their auras, like Glorfindel who was a walking, glowing sun god, and some seemed made of subtle star light, like the twins. Smiling along with their laughter, she thought that the pair were two she would really enjoy being around. They had an easy and good humored demeanor that was contagious.

“Come, let us meet the others,” Elrohir said smiling as he offered his arm. So, with a new friend on each arm, Helen was guided through a place lovelier than any that had ever been or would ever be in her world.

* * *

 

The twins and Helen talked about many things on their way to Lord Elrond’s library. Elrohir found Helen’s work incredibly fascinating and both twins asked many questions about the history of cultures Helen knew of. Helen also discovered that although they were royalty and appeared to be regal otherworldly beings, the pair were playful. Rather wickedly so. A couple of their witty remarks almost flew past Helen’s notice because of their subtlety before it would click, and Helen would burst into a fit of laughter while the twins would chuckle along clearly pleased with themselves. Elladan had been especially amused to hear Helen’s account of meeting Lord Glorfindel retold to them. A special kind of amusement seemed to be drawn from her telling how she had disarmed and laid the legendary golden warrior out flat. They were grieved to have missed that part and had only caught her calling him a creeper before. It was a fluke, she had told them, but that did little to diminish their humor.

When they arrived at the beautifully carved doors of the library, Helen was almost disappointed to end the most pleasant conversation she had had since her tumble into another world.

“Come in,” Elrond’s voice called out through the doors.

Elladan and Elrohir both entered –Helen stood fidgety just inside the doorway.

“Come. Have a seat, child,” Gandalf’s eye twinkled behind his pipe, “Elrond and Glorfindel do not bite… hard.”

Glorfindel, standing with an arm resting on the mantle of the fireplace, snorted a laugh.

Elrond shot a glare to the golden warrior, followed by an eye roll at the chuckling wizard. The Lord of Rivendell looked thoroughly put out by the pair of them.

The plush looking armchairs were arranged in a semicircle around the fire. Elrond sat at the left side of Gandalf, who was closest to the far side of the fireplace. Glorfindel stood on the side closer to Helen. Elrohir and Elladan were now both draped sideways over their own chairs, leaving the last chair between them and Glorfindel open. 

She hesitated a moment. She wasn’t entirely sure how Glorfindel felt about their meeting. Not wanting to draw attention to her nerves, Helen moved taking the open seat and feeling a tad surrounded by so many men and nervous at the eyes on her.

“Now then, we may begin,” Elrond stated. “Glorfindel and my sons have already told me how they found you, what happened after you awoke, what was said, and then your…” he stopped there politely.

“Passing out,” Glorfindel offered.

Helen sent him a look. Upon seeing his obvious amusement at the fact, her frown increased. ‘Right,’ she sighed, ‘so he is a bit put out by me then.’

Elrond’s eyebrow twitched but he continued, “However, I wish to hear it from your own words. If you would, tell us how you came to be here and where you are from.”

“Who you are would be helpful as well,” added Glorfindel.

“Alright,” Helen wondered where to start before beginning as best she could. “I guess the best place to start is by saying that, as many of you may have noticed, I used to be of the race of men… if I am not still now…” Helen reached to touch one of her ears unsettled still by its change. Her scientific mind couldn’t begin to wrap around much about her experience so far.

Gandalf smiled kindly and urged her to continue.

Helen began rambling. Her befuddlement at the entire adventure left her feeling jumbled and lacking in her usual articulate way of approaching issues. “Uh, well, I’m 27 years old. I have my Ph.D. in Anthropology and have a Masters in Literature,” Helen saw the general confusion of the room and realized that they all probably had no idea what she meant by any of that. “I am the highest schooling you can go with either subject. With Anthropology, I went even one step further and became what is considered an expert in the study of past cultures and peoples,” she explained further. She told them about her job and why she went on the trip to Zion State Park. She explained that she was looking for the odd carvings; told them of the woman; and the path behind the falls. She described how she was suddenly on the ledge of the falls and how she woke at the bottom. She went over the meeting of Glorfindel and the twins and her shock and her confusion up until she fainted. At the end of it all, she flopped backwards in her chair as the whole ordeal seemed to finally fully register and a mix of hopelessness and awe settled heavily within her.

“You are not from this world,” Gandalf stated with a sense of finality.

Helen stiffened; she wasn’t entirely sure what kind of reaction such a claim would receive and thoughts about the witch hunts of her own world’s history flashed through her mind. Looking into their faces, she realized that from all she had described there was little other way for her to explain herself. There was little doubt that some suspicion would eventually stir about her origins. All it would take would be the discovery of some of the technology she had with her to raise alarm. Then the fact that she withheld such information would surely raise more suspicion. Plus, she always felt that honesty was best. She gave a sigh, “No.”

Elrond leaned forward, “Where are you from? The Undying Lands?”

“No, no,” she denied adamantly. Helen slumped further; how does someone explain such a thing? “I'm from Earth. Just Earth, not Middle Earth. Where I am from Middle Earth is an imaginary place from a set of stories. In my world, there is only the race of Men. Elves, Trolls, Wizards, Goblins, Dwarves, Hobbits, Magic… these are all in children’s stories. They are myths, fairy tales, nothing more. My world is much more… advanced than here. We have created machines that go across land faster than horses. Ships are made of metal and can carry whole city's worth of people across the oceans of the world. Metal machines fly in the sky, like the Great Eagles, carrying people and cargo across the world, and even beyond to the moon and further on still. We can communicate to anyone at any spot on the planet at any given time in the blink of an eye with only the push of a button, and we can see them as though they were there in the room in just the same way. We also have things we call movies, like paintings that move and tell stories like a stage-play, with color and sound that tell stories. Some of the novels about Middle Earth have been adapted for the movies so people can watch the stories unfold like a play. I studied the works about Middle Earth and its peoples for my Master’s. I was a bit of a fan, honestly. By all logic and reason, I should not be here because here does not exist… or shouldn’t exist…” Helen groaned holding her head feeling a headache coming on, “I don’t even know what is real and what isn’t. Maybe I’ve just lost my mind and this is all just a dream. A very vivid, very trippy dream. Perhaps I am dead and this confusion is my punishment for something.”

A hand gently squeezed her shoulder, “I assure you what you are experiencing is real,” Glorfindel stated softly, “I too have been brought to a place from a different realm.”

“Yes, but you died and were resurrected. Middle Earth had been a reality for you before,” Helen replied, “at least you knew where you were.”

He was quick to hide his shock that she knew that about him and offered a slight smile of sympathy, “It sounds as though you know where you are as well,” he answered kindly.

Helen nodded after a moment, “You’re right. There are several very large and glaring problems with that, however. A few among them being that I am a different race now entirely and depending on when in your timeline I arrived…” She jumped up, “What is the date?”

Glorfindel slightly startled at her outburst letting go of her shoulder and stepping back some of his weariness returning.

“January 18th,” Gandalf stated.

Helen swallowed, “Of what year?”

“The year 2941 of the Third Age,” Elrohir spoke softly.

That did little to help her get her bearings as she did not have the timeline and dates committed to memory. Seeing her confusion and distress, Elrond spoke, “What is it you are worried about, young one?”

Helen chewed her lip, “Could you tell me a few major milestones of historical significance of the recent past. It will help me to place myself in what time I have found myself.”

Glorfindel voiced his reluctance, “We do not know who you are, yet you wish for us to share information with you?”

She turned to face him, her face pleading, desperate even, “Please.” Her tone made some of his stiffness ease but he still looked uncertain. She turned to the others, “Please, it need not be some great secret, I don’t think. Just some general milestones, I am afraid to ask the wrong question and end up giving too much away.”

“Giving what away, exactly?” Elrohir frowned slightly he wasn’t as hesitant as Glorfindel but none of them knew about the woman, and as much as she seemed good, Elrohir knew they had to be sure.

Helen chewed her lip. The situation was impossible. She began to feel hopelessness creeping up with in her.

“Very well, child,” Gandalf spoke finally. His words seemed to suck the tension from the room. The others relaxed allowing his decision to stand and Helen felt like slumping to the floor in relief. “Hm,” he hummed to himself trying to think of where to start.

“What if you just gave me a general bit of the large kingdoms? Nothing secret or anything but like who is in power or something?” She offered with a shrug.

Gandalf hummed, “Hm, yes, I suppose that would be easiest. Let’s see where to start, hm?” He muttered to himself as wizards were known to do and after a time it was uncertain if he ever would begin. Elrohir and Elladan had changed positions in their seats several times and Helen’s bum was begin to feel rather numb. Glorfindel had taken up a brooding sort of pacing before the fire, which was making her equal parts unnerved and wanting to force him to take a seat. When Elrond’s brow began to twitch as his patience even waned, Helen finally decided to risk a gentle push.

 “What of Gondor?” she asked cautious but done with the stretched silence.

Elrond’s eyed her as the attention of the room snapped back to her, “Yes, what of it?”

“Is it the line of Kings or Stewards that rule over the city?” she asked.

Apparently, that question was not entirely a good one. Everyone shifted in their spots. Hesitant but ready to move things along, Elrond answered, “The line of Kings has not sat upon the throne for nearly an age.”

Helen nodded, “Okay then.” Her brows furrowed, her mind racing, ‘So it is before the Lord of the Rings then.’

Gandalf seemed to catch on to her method, “Rohan is seen over by the Horse Lords.”

At this Helen stood began pacing, Glorfindel stepping back and letting her have at it. Hand on her chin and eyes squinted in thought, “Right, if Rohan is formed then…” she paused, “What of the Dwarves?”

Elrond spoke now, “Largely scattered. There are two main realms of Dwarves left in this part of the world. Where the other houses of Dwarves dwell, we know not. The Iron Hills has their king, Dain. The Line of Durin is in the Blue Mountains.”

Her shoulders fell, “And Erebor then?” She swallowed a lump forming in her throat as she thought of the people of Dale and the many lives gone.

“Lost,” Elrond confirmed, “It was taken by a fire drake from the North, a dragon by the name of-“

“Smaug,” she nodded, sighing sadly, “And the Line of Durin, who exactly is it that is left?”

Gandalf frowned at the girl’s back sharing a look with Elrond at her increasingly depressed state, “The King of the Mountain died at a battle for Moria many years ago now. His son has vanished, where no one knows. It was said he went to look upon the Lonely Mountain, but he never was seen in those parts nor anywhere else. It is Thorin, Thrain’s son, Thror’s grandson, who is the heir now. And I believe there are a pair of nephews, who carry the blood of Durin as well.”

Helen nodded still gazing into the fire, “Yes, Fíli and Kíli, sons of Dis, sister sons of Thorin.” There was a great silence that filled the room. Helen in deep thought about the sadness still to come and the others in various states of weariness, concern, and intrigue about the bizarre woman before them.

Finally, Helen spoke, “I have a better idea then of when exactly this is. I wish I had memorized the dates of things a bit more, but I suppose I will have to manage. Still, I need to ask something, but you must not question too much why.” At that she turned to Gandalf, who at once noted the weight that seemed to have settled upon the shoulders of the girl, “Tell me, have you sought out Thorin?”

At this Elrond turned to the wizard, question clear on his face as to why the Istari would be seeking out the heir of Durin. Gandalf seemed to be startled, whether by her question or due to the fact that it was asked in front of those who he’d rather not know just yet, she couldn’t say.

He cleared his throat, “I have not. Though I must admit that I have been of the mind to check and see how he and his kin are faring. It is a nasty business, what Smaug has done to that folk.”

“A terrible fate, yes, though you must admit it is a fate they brought upon themselves,” Elrohir stated nonchalantly.

Helen felt a surge of heat rush through her. She turned, eyes blazing as he and his brother shared grins at their jab, “How dare you.”

His face fell, as did the smirking face of his brother, “Pardon?”

Her eyes narrowed, “How dare you say such a thing.”

Elrohir frowned as Elladan rushed to his brother’s defense, “The greed of Dwarves is well known. Surely if you know about our world, you must know that.” The air the two had picked up was one she could only describe as snobby, and frankly it ticked her off.

“Oh I know much about the peoples of this world. Just as I know the love of shiny things is a fault that is shared by more than just Dwarven folk,” she squared her shoulders, “Tell me, sons of Elrond, did your kind deserve what happened to them because of three shiny rocks? Do you forget your own history? The Silmarils? Or are those who you deem as less the ones asking for their fates, while those you deem worthy able to be called victims?”

At this, the room had taken on the silence of a tomb, so stunned were those there in that not a word or movement was made. The lack of reaction did little to cool her anger.

“What of Thranduil’s folk who fought for gems of starlight? Lives lost over stupid rocks,” her words had made the pair look increasingly shameful, but she was not done, “You say that the Dwarves greed brought about their fate as though they could’ve ever imagined that doing what came naturally to their kin would lead to such violent loss of life. Tell me did the innocent children of Dwarves and Dale too ask for it? Or are they guilty by association? Did they deserve what was brought upon them that day? Is this the way the children of the Eldar view the lives of others? With so little concern as to brush it off as having been asked for? I must say, all I have read of the wisdom and grace of the Elves is beginning to seem like a great deal of hype.” Her final words were sharp as knives and left the Elves present feeling great shame for the words spoken by those present and for the views and words of Elves not present. For they knew that such thoughts were common among the Eldar, and each vowed to no longer allow such words to be spoken. So it was, in that small way, that Helen changed Middle Earth for the better within just her first 24 hours of being awake in it.

Gandalf made to stand seeing how the woman was practically shaking at the end of her speech, and with others still deep in thought about her words, he was the only one to notice her state.

She rose her hand to him, halting him from standing from his seat. She sent him a small nod of thanks for his concern as she took several calming breaths. Turning back to the fire to collect herself and mentally cursing herself for snapping, she wrapped her arms around her middle trying to settle her thoughts and stop the few tears that had begun to well up in her eyes from falling. She hated crying.

“I would ask that you forgive my passion on the subject,” she said finally.

Elrohir and Elladan made to deny the need for it but she shook her head.

“I am a guest here and shouldn’t talk to any of you that way after you have shown me kindness,” she said, “It is something I’ve seen in my own world- People judging others based on their differences, instead of seeing how they are the same. Such loss of life is never asked for nor deserved, no matter what greed or thoughts of grandeur or other faults a people or person may have. Such is the fact of life. All life is precious. And any loss is great for the world and tragic indeed.”

Her words hung heavy over the room. Gandalf was left feeling a fondness for the woman before him who was so young and yet spoke of a love of life that rivalled even many of his folk. Elrond gazed at her with a newfound respect; she spoke of things he too had felt and somehow he thought that perhaps she wasn’t to be viewed as a threat, but a gift. Nothing with evil intent could be so passionate about the value of life. The twins were thoroughly scolded and left feeling only shame at their words and the thoughts they and some of their kin had held about the Dwarves. Both held within them a fire to cease such thoughts not just in themselves but in their kin.

Glorfindel was struck most deeply, for he had been the one most reluctant to accept the woman for who she claimed to be. Yet, it seemed to him now that she had to be from another world, for no child of man nor dwarven folk nor Eldar had ever spoke so clearly and without bias about the relations between the Free Peoples. He felt shame himself, for he had been to Valinor and back. If any present besides Gandalf should, he felt he should have been able to see the truth of her words before she needed to speak them. As such, he felt like he had failed in not standing up for what was right when he heard such words or thoughts spoken in the past.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, Helen just shoved the elves judgemental tendencies right in their faces. She is someone who cares a great deal about innocent lives lost due to acts of war or politics or any other reason. We are going to see in the next chapter how having all the knowledge about what is to come in Middle Earth will settle with her. If this is a clue, it's not gonna be all roses and sunshine.   
> It was important to me to make her seem real. Not like some mary sue who is above all things and all powerful. She has some skills and advantages, sure. But all that knowledge is a burden and I will be exploring what that means through this story.
> 
> Now some pics:  
> Helen's outfit: https://imgur.com/a/lH37w


	5. Burden

A silence had stretched after Helen's apology for her heated words. Each person present being consumed by their thoughts. The twins were still feeling shame at their words, but determined to see such opinions corrected in themselves and the elves around them. Lord Elrond still had questions about Helen and her origins, but he did not believe her to be one seeking some ill will. Glorfindel, too, still had questions, though his focused around how she came to be in their world and how she had seemingly turned into one of the Eldar. It was something he had never seen or heard of, and it raised questions in his mind about how much the Valar had a hand in her being before them. Gandalf’s musing were much lighter in subject matter than his friends.  While it was true that he was worried about the sadness that had begun to build in her as the conversation went on, her nature was proving to be most amusing for him.  She was a sweet girl who would quickly grow stern if a wrong was taking place. He always did enjoy someone who spoke their mind, especially if their mind had thoughts worth sharing. He was certain Helen would bring about change to those who met her. He had already witnessed it with the younger elves present. He found her most curious, and he did love a good puzzle now and again.

Helen’s thoughts were less linear. Her mind whirled. She felt embarrassed for her reaction before, but she couldn’t be entirely sorry. She hated being rude, but prejudices were illogical and she couldn’t stand to let it pass by unchecked. At the same time, there were much bigger issues that plagued her. What was she to do in a world where she knew so much about things to come? It was a question that held so many variables and possibilities. Her mind ran wild trying to plought out each possible twist and probability.

It was too much for any one person to have to bear. How could she be the one solely responsible with so much information- so much potentially life saving or all destroying information? Sighing, She rubbed her temples feeling a headache coming on.

Elrond watched as her shoulders sank lower, her upper back hunching just barely, as though a great weight was slowly settling upon her shoulders. He saw that her mind was in a great turmoil and wished to ease her as he spoke, “You speak of the value of all life, and you speak of the peoples of this world with a great deal of passion, for someone not of it. I cannot believe that you are here by any ill will nor dark cause, and thus I must find truth upon all you have said thus far. There is a great burden you carry, that much is clear. It's weighs you down as though as though you feel it just as physically as you are internally. I would but ease your burden somehow, if I knew the way.”

She sighed, releasing a breath she wasn’t aware she had been holding as she waiting to hear what they thought of her, “Thank you. The thought alone means more than I can tell you. I know this is...”

“Unprecedented?” Gandalf offered with a chuckle.

She smiled at that nodding, “Yes. And I can’t pretend to know why or how it happened. But here we are, me, born human in another world, and now I am here. I can’t bring myself to even consider that I may have been brought here for any bad reason. Surely if some Dark Lord wished to use my knowledge for his gain, he would have dropped me in his clutches and not among you here. That would hardly seem very clever on his part.”

“Upon my word, child, no,” Gandalf seemed perturbed that she had even considered it, “I must admit that the thought had crossed my mind, but only for a moment." He shook his head, "No indeed. There is no power in these lands that has the skill to attempt such a feat, for ill or not.”

“No,” Elrond agreed, “No, even Sauron in his full power could not have hoped to reach across the very fabric of space and time in such a way. And he was banished long ago.”

Helen shifted averting her eyes. Her feeling of dread increasing.

It was a reaction not missed by any in the room. “Child?” Gandalf inquired.

Elrond eying her curiously before shaking his head in disbelief, “Surely, you cannot mean to suggest that he has returned? We would have sensed such evil if it again dwelled here in Middle Earth.”

Helen fidgeted with her sleeve, “I cannot say.”

“Cannot or will not,” Glorfindel asked in a stern voice.

“Cannot. I don’t know precisely when…” she trailed off eyes widening. She had said too much.

“When?” Glorfindel repeated in shock, “You mean that it does happen but that you just cannot say _when_ it will?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, “Please, you don’t know what you are asking of me.”

“Child, if you know of something to do with that dark and foul nature, you must give us warning,” Gandalf spoke sternly.

“Do you not think her words just now were warning enough? She said ‘when’ not ‘if’,” Elrohir spoke up having been deeply disturbed by the implication.

“What we should be trying to decipher is when exactly she thinks such a thing could happen. Then perhaps, we could prevent it,” Elladan spoke passionately standing as he did.

Her head fell into her hands as she sunk into her seat. The room had erupted into a heated discussion and she idly wondered if this was a glimpse of what the Council of Elrond would be like during the forming of the Fellowship of the Ring. Groaning into her hands as she rubbed her temples, she thought, ‘What am I supposed to do?’ Her heart raced in her chest and her head felt dizzy. She felt the fate of the entire world crushing down upon her. She felt ill. And suddenly, like air was harder to breathe.

“Child, you must breathe,” Gandalf’s frown deepened; his mind beginning to connect together what could be wrong with their guest.

She felt like yelling that she would if she bloody well could. She huffed looking up and catching his wise gaze. Did she try to explain things that were to come? Did she try to help? The theory of The Butterfly Effect was not lost on her; she knew well that one action could change the course of history.

“Child?” Gandalf called but his voice didn’t reach her. The room’s arguing ceased as they eyed her pale form, eyes closed and hands clutching the arms of her chair. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth, looking small and fragile and entirely ready to shatter.

She was spiraling. Her eyes no longer seeing his face, but other faces, countless faces were passing through her mind’s eye. Faces of all the people who would die in the many years to come. Senseless deaths. Preventable deaths. Deaths she could stop from ever taking place. So many lives would be snuffed out.

“My lady?”

It was Glorfindel’s voice, soft and kind, that pulled Helen back to the present. The gentleness of his voice and in his eyes as he kneeled down before her calmed her whirling thoughts into focus. She breathed in, having made up her mind. He was someone who had died to save lives. He had been to Heaven, or this world’s equivalent, and he had been brought back. “Can I ask you something?” her voice nearly a whisper.

“Of course, you may,” he gave her forearm a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

“If,” she swallowed the lump in her throat, her voice gain its normal strength, “if you knew things, things that could possibly save lives, but there was a risk that you could change something accidentally and make something truly awful happen, would you still try to save those lives?”

The room had frozen, holding its breath as the weight of Helen’s words and what they meant settled.

Glorfindel’s brows furrowed as he thought over her question, for such a question deserved great thought and care put into its answering. “These lives," he spoke finally, "the ones that could be saved, are they innocent?”

Helen thought of the children in Laketown and of Rohan and of Gondor, “Yes. Many are.”

Glorfindel watched her closely seeming to have picked up on something in her tone, “And the others?”

She thought of all the wars to come and the soldiers who fall, of men of Gondor and Rohan and Elves and Dwarves struck down. She pictured Boromir of the Fellowship, a warrior who fought temptation in the end and gave his life for others. She thought of Thorin, a king who won out the darkness that had pulled him in and sacrificed all for his people and his family. She pictured Balin and Ori felled in Moria in a senseless slaughter. She thought of Kíli and of Fíli, so young in the eyes of their people and so pure of heart, so full of life; both killed standing before uncountable foes while defending their Uncle, and dying together, just as they lived for love of family and kin.

Her throat tightened and she swallowed to speak through the growing lump in her throat, “They…,” she struggled to find the words, “They...” Her heart clenched.

Images and flashes poured through her mind- of deaths and pains that couldn’t be stopped no matter what for one reason or another- of Gandalf’s fall and return as the white; of Aragorn’s passing and Arwen’s heartbreak and fading; of Thranduil left living but so very alone, left behind in his kingdom as his son sailed for undying lands to rule until his people faded or who knows what really. These were not people in a story book. These were living breathing people. People who have real lives, real families, real loved ones. They were flesh and blood and bone and soul. How did she put that into words?

Fingertips brushing tears from her cheeks snapped Helen back. Her eyes, now blurry from tears, refocused on the face of the golden warrior before her. She saw concern and awe and sadness there as he watched her. His eyes were haunted for he knew of death. He knew what it felt like to hold lives in his hands. She couldn't see, nor could she have expected that the reason for his compassion was due to more than empathy. Though rare, it was a gift among the Eldar to be able to communicate with their minds. Few could do so easily and at will, unless with those with whom they shared a bond, such as family or their loved ones. However, as Helen was lost in her inner turmoil, he had reached out to offer comfort and that hand upon her arm was all it took.

The connection formed and he was made to witness all that flew through her mind, as though watching it all through a pane of glass. He had seen the flashes of faces and death and fear. It was with awe that he bore witness to the depth of pain and heartache she felt thinking of the deaths of so many. The depth of her heartache was concerning for a elf. It seemed to fill her being, and it made him worry that such may be enough to cause her to fade if she truly was one of the Elven folk now. Her pulling away from embarassment at getting so emotional brought him out of her mind.

It was with some alarm that the others watched him stand and stagger as he moved to lean upon the mantle. His shoulders sagged, his face a grimace of despair.

Helen hadn’t noticed that she had begun to cry until he was wiping tears away from her cheeks. Too embarrassed for crying and for the kind gesture, she missed the way that Glorfindel was affected by his glimpse into her mind, just as she missed the concern as the others witnessed it. She sat staring at her lap feeling foolish for crying. “I’m sorry,” the apology fell from her lips as she quickly tried to wipe away the evidence of her emotions. She never liked to break in front of others and crying in front of a group of strangers made her feel worse.

Elrond’s wise gaze studied her making her feel exposed. He had an idea what may have happened to Glorfindel and understood that whatever he had seen had shaken the Balrog Slayer a great deal.

Glorfindel seemed to gather himself as he spoke finally, “I believe I have an answer to your question. I think that we all have a purpose in this life. It is a path that is set out for us should we chose it. Perhaps, you were meant to find your way here by the will of the Valar.”

Helen released a breath as a bit of the weight lifted. Having to decide was the first hurdle, she gladly accepted his words as making the choice for her. She studied him seeing his surety before nodding, “Very well, I know what I must do.” She tried to figure out how to begin. She wished for a moment that she hadn’t been such a huge bookworm and fan of Tolkien’s works and then she might not be in this position. The feeling was quickly chased away. The fact was she did hold a fair amount of knowledge about things to come in Middle Earth. No matter how she got there, the point was that she _was_ there. She was going to do what she could to try and save a few lives if she was to be stuck there, and those in front of her were just the people to help her figure out how best to do so.

She turned to Elrond with a new determination, “Tell me, have you come to watch over a child of the Dúnedain who goes by a name not given to him at birth?”

Elrond’s brows shot up into his hairline, his protective nature over the boy giving him pause.

“I’ll take that as a yes. I know…” She paused, debating on what she should and should not say, “I have stated that in my world Middle Earth was told about in novels. I know the history of this world, of the First Born, of the Dwarves, the Hobbits, and of Men. I also know much of what is to come in the next great chapter of the world. I enjoyed the story and it was my focus when I studied Literature,” She slumped back into her chair and gazed into the fire, “I’m afraid to say too much because I could change something unknowingly, but then, my very presence in this world could alter what should happen…”

Elrond nodded pleased, “It is wise to know that too much knowledge can be dangerous.”

Gandalf stood in a fluster of thoughts, “You have been brought here for a reason, of that I have no doubt. The Valar works in mysterious ways.”

“Coming from the wisest Maiar that comforts me greatly,” She smiled.

He grumbled and blushed slightly, “I am not the wisest of my Order.”

She merely smiled and hummed. In truth, he was, but no one had discovered Saruman’s treachery yet. “Still, I’m inclined to agree with you. I just haven’t figured out how I am to help and in what way and to what degree. There is more for me to think on and figure out, but I am here in this world now and with no idea if I can ever go back to mine, I will do my best to help those in this one while I can,” the room seemed to stew over her words and all that had been said so far.

It seemed that the conversation might be nearing an end when Elladan spoke suddenly, “Do you have a husband back in your world?”

Helen blinked as Elrohir and Elrond sent him abashed looks, “With all that studying and reading, who has the time for tending to husbands?”

Glorfindel coughed to cover a laugh as Gandalf chuckled openly.

“But,” she frowned, “I do have family. A sister of sorts. We are all that either of us has left.” She looked down into her lap, “I may not ever see her again.”

Elrohir cocked his head, “How do we know for certain that you are from where you say you are?”

Helen blinked again.

Elladan nodded, “Yes, can it be proven?”

Glorfindel made ready to open his mouth in her defense, after all he had seen glimpses of her world through their brief connection. He was stopped however when she answered.

“Actually I can,” any thoughts by Elrond or Gandalf to say that she had no need for they no longer doubted her were silenced by their curiosity as she rummaged through the messenger bag at her side. Standing, she moved to a desk and set the items out atop a mess of scrolls. The group eyed her camera, iPhone and wallet curiously.

Elrohir leaned forward to touch the camera, “What is-“

Helen smacked his hand away, “If you break that, I cannot be held accountable for what I may do to you.”

He flushed and stood back.

“Sorry,” she chewed her lip, “These things are some of the few things I have from my world now. They are precious to me and that one in particular is rather breakable.” Pointing at each item, she gave its name and function ending with the camera.

“But, how does it work, this cam-err-ra?” Elrond asked completely fascinated with the description.

“Well, I don’t rightly know all of the mechanics of it. It’s a great deal of chemistry, engineering, and since this is a digital camera, there is a lot of computer science involved, which is not my forte in the slightest…” she replied as he deflated slightly, “What if I just showed you?”

At this, the Lord of Imladris smiled quite thrilled to be shown such an odd contraption, and the others seemed equally enthused.

“Okay, I want to do this right. So if you all could bare with me for a moment and not ask questions until I am finished? Lord Elrond, would you sit at your desk?” She asked as she pondered over how to go about this. Once Elrond took a seat, Helen nodded to herself looking around the room at those in it, “Now Gandalf, if you would, please stand beside him.” She rummaged around through the scrolls on the desk before finding a map and opening it. Setting it in front of Elrond, she asked him, “If you would hold this open on the table there.” He complied confused but willing.

Helen grinned, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, “Yes that is perfect. Alright, Gandalf if you’d hold your pipe. And both of you look at me. And smile.” She snapped the picture and grinning as they were shocked at the click sound and the brief glow of the defused flash. She continued to run around the room directing the others. Elrohir and Elladan to stood near the balcony; the pair wore grins that showed how delighted they were at the situation, lighting up their faces with the humor she had glimpsed from their walk earlier that day. Glorfindel was asked to stand by the fire with one arm braced and the light of the flame illuminating his face and golden curls.

Helen flicked back through the images and satisfied with the results. They were perfect. “Now, then, follow me back to my room,” she flitted hurriedly about the room and gathered her items back into her bag before heading for the door. “Well, come on!” Through her excitement, she missed the shocked faces and blushes most of them wore. It was Gandalf’s urging that made the group follow the excited girl, who was oblivious to how her choice of words sounded to the rather reserved Elves.

Rushing back through the beautiful halls towards her room, Helen burst through the doors and headed for the armoire, pulling out the portable printer before plugging the camera in. She was forever glad that Charlotte had started their tradition of journaling Helen’s adventures in photo albums.

As the last image fell into her hands, the last member of the group neared. Gesturing them to enter, she said, “Please, come in. You may want the door to be shut. I don’t think all of Rivendell is ready to see such items from my world.”

Elladan shut the door cautiously, face redder than before, as everyone gathered around Helen.

She held up the first image bringing gasps out of the group. Smiling, she explained, “This is a picture I took before the camping trip in Zion that led me here. It’s my horse and dog, Aurora and Lou, running through a field with a wild bison herd near my home.”

“This creature is new to me,” Elrond stated looking at the buffalo curiously. She handed him the image before lifting the next one, more gasps followed.

“This,” she explained, “is the falls that I was studying. As you can see, it looks nothing like the area here.”

“The rocks and trees are very different,” Elrohir murmured. Nodding, she handed off the image to be passed around again.

“This is an image I took from the balcony here,” she showed the group who stared at it in rapture. She gestured to the view behind her, “It was too beautiful to not capture.” She handed it off, then went to the next, “This is of you, Lord Elrond, and of you, Gandalf, just now in the Library.” She held it up receiving gasps yet again.

“How is it possible?” Glorfindel whispered in awe.

“I don’t fully understand all of it, but whatever I point the camera at is captured perfectly, exactly as it appears to the eye,” Helen explained. “I think it captures you both rather well,” she handed a copy to Elrond and Gandalf, “For you to keep.”

“Thank you, child,” Gandalf smiled.

Elrond studied it closely, tilting it this way and that, “It is remarkable.”

She moved on to the image of the twins resulting in smiles all around. Each twin received a copy. Elrond gazed at his own copy fondly. Then Helen got to Glorfindel’s. “This may be my favorite,” she said as she showed the image, “The firelight had a neat effect.” The picture capture him in the light of the fire, illuminating his rather famous golden curls and turning them into molten gold. The flames reflected in his gaze making him seem the fierce warrior he was. She could almost picture him in armor facing down a Balrog. His eyes held a haunted quality to them, however, that spoke of all he had seen.

Elrond rested a hand on Glorfindel’s shoulder, “It is a good likeness, my friend.”

Glorfindel merely stared at it quietly.

“Here, I printed one for you,” she said as she handed it to him.

He took it silently staring at the image.

After a moment of quiet, Gandalf cleared his throat, “Well, I think this has settled any questions any of us had about Helen and her origin. We will have to discuss more, but for now, I think we have questioned her enough. I am satisfied with her words.”

Elrond nodded, “As am I. Come,” he motioned to his sons, “Let us leave Helen in peace. She has traveled far and has seen much.” He and the twins left with a wave.

“I will send for you at dinner time,” Gandalf grumbled as he walked out mumbling about strange tidings and being too old to be thrown for such a loop.

Helen laughed softly before noticing Glorfindel still frozen staring at his picture. She touched his shoulder, “Are you alright?”

He jumped slightly before giving a lackluster smile, “Yes, I apologize. I suppose the portrait has caught me off guard.”

She nodded and motioned to a small couch by the fireplace in the room, “Does it bother you?”

He sat beside her after brief hesitation, settling his gaze upon the fire, “It is what I see in my own eyes that bothers me.”

She studied him for a moment before it hit her, the reason he didn't seem like the cheerful and singing elf depicted in The Lord of the Rings books, “You are still haunted by your death aren’t you.”

He flinched before giving a self-deprecating chuckle, “I suppose I am.”

She nodded looking into the flames herself, “I have always believed in one thing with all of my being.”

“What is that?” his voice mumbled quietly.

“That all things happen for a reason… Though it may be hard to see, there was a reason you died in Gondolin. And, there is a reason you have been brought back,” She smiled as she remembered how he saves Frodo from the Ringwraiths many years from now. “There is a light in you that will be needed in the coming darkness. And,” she looked back into the fire, folding her hands into her lap, “likewise, there is a reason I was brought here at this time. Only time will tell for what purpose I am to serve.”

Helen looked back to Glorfindel only to see him smiling at her in gratitude, “You are very wise for your years.”

“That is a big compliment from an elf who has lived two lives and seen Valinor,” she teased earning a chuckle.

He grinned. “I will leave you to find some rest before dinner,” he said as he stood. Helen followed him to the door as he stopped to give her the elven gesture of reverence, placing a hand to the breast and extending it outwards, “Odds are I will be the one guiding you to diner, but I shall see you then either way.”

“Sounds lovely,” she nodded her head in a light bow, glad that he seemed less down than he had been before and pleased that he was no longer weary about her presence. As he exited and she began to shut the door, Helen suddenly opened it again causing him to turn around. “Oh,” she smirked mischievously, “and I wanted to apologize for knocking you off your feet when we first met.”

His eyebrow twitched slightly making her giggle. He smiled chuckling lightly as he shook his head, “Until later,” he flashed a smirk adding, “ _Lady_ Helen.” At her disgruntled look from his use of “lady”, he spun round walking down the hall his rich laughter filling the air as he went.

Face flaming, Helen quickly shut the door with a huff, “Damn attractive, frustratingly, snarky elves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! That was a shorter chapter but it seemed so much bigger. The next wont be so heavy. We will start to see friendships emerging and such. :3
> 
> As a run down of what we learned in this chapter:
> 
> ~Helen has been brought here (most likely by the Valar, cause who else could it really be)  
> ~She's seemingly become an elf, though her appearance is unchanged except her ears  
> ~She has figured out that she has arrived the same year that Thorin's quest will take place  
> ~Glorfindel accidentally did a mind meld thing and saw everything she knew  
> ~Elrond & co know that she holds knowledge of their future & have left it to her to decide how to share it  
> ~Basically, she won over their trust
> 
> *breathes*  
> Phew. Alright. Now for something silly. What do you think?


	6. Golden Flower

Helen's first dinner in Middle Earth went smoothly through the meal. Other than glances and being at the center of whisperings, Helen hadn’t been too uncomfortable as people had been relatively discrete in their curiosity. Once the meal was over and people no longer busy eating, her presence and entrance to the Hall on the arm of the legendary Glorfindel had caused a bit of a wave. Beneath the table, Helen’s knee had begun to bounce nervously. It was not that she wasn’t used to being the center of attention, she was a professor. She stood in front of hundreds of faces and gave lectures, but these were not her students nor her peers. These were Elves, beings she, until recently, thought nonexistent. All of which were ridiculously beautiful and much taller than she, who kept her birth height of 5’2”, and she was feeling a bit like a chicken in a nest of doves.

“You seem anxious,” Glorfindel’s voice coming suddenly from by her ear startled her enough to make her jump, which earned some snickers from several elves.

She glared over her shoulder to see his amused smirk. Since her joking remark earlier in the evening as he left her room, he had loosened up around her and now seemed to find it amusing to tease her much as he would the twins. She was glad he no longer found her presence as a negative thing, but if he startled her one more time that night, she was considering placing one of Lou's kills into his bed. He chuckled at her glare as he lounged in the seat beside her.

 “It is not what it seems. I am not usually that shy with many eyes being on me. I used to give lectures in front of a good number of people. It’s just that I am in a new world, in a new land, surrounded by a new people, with new customs… It is a bit nerve-wracking,” she blew air out of her cheeks in exasperation.

Just then a pair of elven ladies crossed the large dining hall to stand before them. The pair gave polite bows to Helen before giving deeper ones to Glorfindel, giggling as he returned the greetings with a polite nod, “Good evening,” he said.

They smiled batting their eyes as one spoke, “Indeed it is. Will you not dance, my Lord? You dance so beautifully.”

Helen felt her mouth twitch in amusement, hiding her grin behind her wine glass as she took a sip.

Glorfindel, however, was oblivious, “You jest! I never dance diner dances. You must be referring to those special occasions where I cannot escape the urgings of our Lord of the House during times of festivals.”

The one who spoke seemed mildly embarrassed at having been corrected and his brushing off of her invitation to dance. The second was not put out, however, and she spoke, “That may be true, my Lord of the Golden Flower, but the memory of such fine movements lingers strongly in our minds,” more giggles from the pair, “We find ourselves wishing to see it again before the memory fades all together.”

The first nodded, “Such a tragedy must not be allowed.”

Oblivious once more, Glorfindel responded, “But if the memory of my dance remains so strongly, I think we can all put off the repetition of it a tad longer, wouldn’t you agree?”

Unable to find a way to counter his verbal parries, the pair left less chipper than before and not without eyeing Helen with frowns as they went.

“Well, _Lord of the Golden Flower_ ,” Helen teased merrily when they were out of earshot.

He flushed as he once more reclined back into his seat.

She laughed at the embarrassed tinge of his face, “Is that normal for you? Being the mighty Balrog slayer and all that?”

Glorfindel seemed entirely to miss what had happened, “No, I believe that is the first time anyone has gone on quite so fondly about my dancing. At least since the days of Gondolin when it was a pastime I enjoyed a great deal. And please, don’t take to calling me by such a silly title. I haven’t been the Lord of anything in ages. Thank the Valar.”

Helen stared blankly at him for a moment trying to decide if he was has clueless as he was acting.

Finally he noticed and flushed deeper, “What is it?”

“I’m trying to decide if you are for real or not,” she said fighting her growing mirth.

He seemed saddened and concerned in equal parts, “Still not certain if any of this is real?”

She shook her head, “No, that’s not it. I just find it hard to believe that you are so oblivious to flirting.” She laughed to herself behind her hand trying to contain it.

His face flushed spread to his neck, “To- to flirting?” He seemed unable to meet her gaze suddenly, “I’m afraid I may have missed a comment or two, if so, I apologize.”

Laughing fully as she realized what he was getting at, she patted his arm, “Not from me! Calm down, I was referring to the lovely ladies from before.”

“Laurwen and Alriel?” He asked confused but less awkward.

She snorted lightly, amused that he was such an awkward duck with the ladies. Helen shrugged, “If those are their names.” She grinned, “They like you.”

Glorfindel’s brows and shoulders jumped, “What gave you that idea?”

Helen fought the urge to drop her face into her palm, “Good heavens, what about that _didn’t_ give you that idea?” She giggled as his mouth opened and closed several times, “Oh come on, don’t be that way. It is sweet.”

He stammered, “I suppose it is sweet of them.”

She quirked a brow, shaking her head, “Poor girls.”

He flushed, “What?”

She merely grinned, “I’m only teasing you. But you really should pay more attention. You are a bit of a hero, you know. Those two were just the ones brave enough to come up to you and ask, but half the ladies in this room having been looking at you and the dancing pairs longingly.”

“Oh Elbereth,” he tensed, “You mean they were asking me to dance _with_ them?”

Helen laughed a little more at that earning a pleased grin from Elrond across the room, “You are the most oblivious person I believe I’ve ever met.”

He huffed, golden curls bouncing in indignation, “Says the woman who unknowingly walked into a portal to another realm.”

She eyed him pursing her lips as he stared triumphantly back with a smirk.

Finally, she conceded with a grin, “Touché, Golden boy. Touché.”

He sputtered, “Golden boy? And what does touché mean?”

She couldn’t answer through her giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! A lighter and short chapter letting Glorfindel and Helen's friendship take place. Cause embarrassing our favorite Balrog Slayer is always fun times.   
> This had to stand alone. It didn't really flow well with either chapter, before or after, so enjoy the break before we dive in again. :P


	7. Language

The next morning had not come easily. She was woken up by a handmaiden who helped her pick out a casual dress… or as casual as elven dresses got apparently. She still felt like a peacock when the handmaiden had stepped back from her work satisfied. The knowing smirks by Elrond and Glorfindel and the snickers from the twins had her glaring at the lot of them.

“Ah, elven wine,” Gandalf mused in good humor, “a delight of the night, but a burden in the mornin’.” He patted Helen’s shoulder lightly as he passed to take his seat at breakfast directly across from hers.

She groaned, “It is too early for rhyming.”

“Such a lovely morning too, isn’t it,” Elladan leaned forward from beside Gandalf.

“Ugh,” Helen poked at her omelet type dish.

“Is the dish not to your liking, Lady Helen,” Glorfindel asked with a smile giving her the side eye from her right.

She glared at the twins and the twinkling eyes of Glorfindel before looking at Lord Elrond who sat at the head of the table to her left, “My Lord, I hope you won’t be too terribly offended if I have to beat up your sons and captain once more.”

Elrond patted his mouth with a napkin, “By all means, young one, do what you must.” He merely grinned at her as the twins huffed that _they_ hadn’t been laid out flat by the woman. Glorfindel promptly invited the both of them to the sparring ring if they needed a reminder of his skills.

Helen smirked, “It is good to see that something remains the same no matter what world you are in.”

Elrond chuckled as Gandalf asked what she meant.

“Males getting their feathers ruffled when showed up by a girl,” the three of them laughed as the trio down the table let out indignant exclamations and stammering.

The sound of small booted feet caught the table’s attention. It moved closer through the halls and a shout begging the offender to be careful could be heard as everyone turned to watch the doorway of the small dining room.

A child ran in and came jumping into the open arms of Lord Elrond just as a dark haired male showed up panting lightly by the door, “My deepest apologies, my Lord. I tried to stop him, but he insisted he come greet you and meet our guest before he would sit still for his lessons.”

Elrond merely gave a wave of his hand, “Worry not, Erestor. Estel is always welcome to come and greet me.”

Estel turned to stick his tongue out at the disheveled scholar.

“Estel!” Glorfindel frowned, “That is not very nice.”

Large blue eyes blinked owlishly at the golden haired warrior, “But it was only a jest.”

‘Oh lord,’ Helen watched in awe and amusement, ‘Little Aragorn is too damn cute.’

“Estel,” Elrond spoke firmly with tender affection.

The boy deflated ceasing his puppy eyed stare and turned to Erestor giving a regal bow of his head, “My apologies, Lord Erestor.”

Pleased with the good manners of the boy, Erestor finished righting his windblown hair and robes, nodding pleased, “All is forgiven, Estel.”

Situation settled, Estel turned to face Helen, “Hello, ma’am, my name is Estel. Who are you?” Gentle chuckles filled the room at the innocence of his voice and his eager gaze.

Helen smiled warmly extending her hand for a shake, “My name is Helen.” Having expected a handshake, she blinked and then giggled as he placed a sloppy kiss to the back of her hand.

Elladan and Elrohir seemed ready to burst into laughter, the pair were practically vibrating in their seats.

“My! Such a gentleman you are!” Estel puffed up at her praise. “It is an honor to meet you, Estel,” she added earning a toothy grin from the boy.

She watched as he went on to hug the necks of each of the others before his tutor rounded him up again. Her eyes followed the cheerful child as he was marched back to his lessons. Turning back once he was out of sight, she met the bemused gaze of Elrond.

“He is wonderful,” her tone gave away her awe, so overcome was she at meeting the child figure of someone she had always admired.

Much seemed to pass through Elrond’s eyes. She was curious why they sought out those of his golden haired guard, who looked suddenly very interested in his plate and eating. Whatever that meant, Elrond’s gaze held only a kind smile when he finally looked back to her and gave a nod, “Yes, he is.”

After breakfast, Helen was given leave to explore Rivendell for which she was exceedingly excited to do. When she expressed concern at getting lost, she was told not to worry that the twins and Glorfindel were excellent trackers and that there was always someone out and about who’d help her find her way. Gandalf suggested not crossing a certain bridge to further eliminate her possibility for getting lost, and she gratefully agreed. She wasn’t bad with directions; she was always hiking in mountains and such, but having next to no knowledge of the surrounding lands outside of vague memories of Tolkien maps made her uneasy. Real world terrain and a flat piece of paper were very different things, becoming lost in Middle Earth was not something she planned to do.

Thus, Helen found herself, messenger bag in tow, roaming around the many halls of Rivendell. She came upon the statue that displayed the shards of Narsil. The blade seemed to hold an air of destiny about it even in its broken form. She snapped pictures of it and many places she found along her exploring. The Hall of Fire, where no one was at the time, the library, beautiful bridges over streams and falls, many fountains of many sizes, there was so much to be seen and she felt wonder and awe at the skills and details put into to crafting every surface of the place. She went to the stables and checked on Aurora. She made her way through countless gardens and down stone paths. The elves she met along the way, friendly and offering greetings, many gathered in small groups playing instruments or crafting some lovely items or reading. Birds chirped and butterflies flitted and Helen thought that if ever she could have pictured what paradise would be like Rivendell who fit it closely.

After a few hours of being a tourist, she found a spot a good distance from the Last Homely House but still within the area Gandalf had suggested. The Great House was within view, if distantly, but she felt alone and sat at a spot overlooking a set of falls. She ate a snack and enjoyed the view, just finishing when a distant yip had her spinning around.

“Lou!” she called happily as the grey Husky came bounding happily toward her. She gave him a hug around his neck, burrowing her face in his fur and laughing when she smelled him, “You smell like flowers Lou! Are our Elf friends taking good care of you?” Excited kisses to her cheek and yips were her answer. She laid back in the grass watching the clouds and the birds fly by. Her hands running through Lou’s fur as he curled up at her side. Her a while, she took out her iPhone, and with one headphone in, she let it sit beside her head on its solar charger as she listened to her music.

Music was dear to her. It was something she had grown up with. Her mother had been very musical. A young singer who had done very well until she met Helen’s father and fell in love. She willingly walked away from her carrier and made creating a family with Helen’s father her life’s greatest work. Singing and piano and guitar always filled the rooms of her house as a child. She vaguely remembered the deep, rich tone of her father as he sang along with Helen’s mother as they danced through the house, Helen standing upon his feet as they twirled. The music didn’t leave after her father died suddenly in a car accident, but it did change to solemn tunes for a while. Still, Helen’s mother sang to her every night for bed. As she grew up, her mother taught her to play the guitar as her father had and to sing, though Helen was quite good, she was never confident sharing her voice. Music was a private and special thing for her. It was memory and family. At 10 when her mother had all but adopted Charlotte as her own, the cheer had come back into their songs. Charlotte had brought some sunshine into their home in a way they had lacked since her father passed four years before. When her mother died of Cancer when she was only 18, Helen had stopped singing for a long time all together. It was something she had only done in private for a long time now, even Charlotte hadn’t heard her except accidentally for many years.

Being in a different world with no way of returning, she felt lucky that this was something she had, more than any picture or heirloom, music for her held more memory of her mother, Charlotte, and her world. As the music played, Helen found herself humming along, singing softly here and there. As she laid there, hands running through Lou’s fur, she felt more and more relaxed and her singing went from whispers to softly sung words as she let the tether to her world fill her being. When one of her mother’s favorite bands came on, she sang softly with her eyes closed picturing her mother singing it as she did. Moving her arms in the air above her to the beat of the haunting music, one leg crossed over the other, her dangling foot bobbing to the beat.

“ _Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night,_  
_And wouldn’t you love to love her?_  
_Takes to the sky like a bird in flight,_  
_And who will be her lover?_  
_All your life you’ve never seen a woman taken by the wind,_  
_I hear its music ringing._  
_Would you stay if she promised to you heaven?_  
_Will you ever win?_

 _She is like a cat in the dark,_  
_And then she is the darkness._  
_She rules her live like a fine skylark,_  
_And when the sky is starless._  
_All your life you’ve never seen a woman taken by the wind,_  
_Would you stay if she promised to you heaven?_  
_Will you ever win?_ _Will you ever win?_

_Rhiannon, Rhiannon. Rhiannon, Rhiannon~”_

Once the song ended, Helen opened her eyes only to let out a shriek. Gandalf and Glorfindel stood gazing down at her from above. Lou barked nervously at her obvious fear but settled with a wave of her hand. Glorfindel looked thoroughly startled and Gandalf sheepish.

“For the sake of all that is holy, you shouldn’t sneak up on someone like that. Could’ve given me a heart attack,” hand pressed to her breast, she breathed to settle to pounding heart.

At this Gandalf chuckled, “My dear, you are at no more a risk of suffering such than Glorfindel here, although I do believe you gave him quite the fright as well.”

Glorfindel looked abashed, “I apologize for startling you. It was getting later and when you didn’t appear for lunch, we became worried.”

Helen glanced at the sky. It was true. The light was clearly becoming late afternoon. There was most likely only about an hour left of daylight, “Oh, I hadn’t noticed. I was listening to my music for longer than I realized.”

Gandalf hummed, “Indeed, that device is intriguing to say the least.”

“Aye,” Glorfindel nodded, “Most intriguing to be sure. What language was that you were singing just now?”

Helen looked at him completely confused, “What do you mean? It is called English in my world, but I am speaking the same now…”

Gandalf and he share a glance before he shakes his head, “No, my friend, we are speaking Elvish now, as you have been all day. Just then you sang in another language I do not recognize.”

“Nor have I heard it before now,” Gandalf added stroking his beard in thought, “Most interesting. Most interesting indeed.”

Glorfindel said, “You are not aware of shifts in your uses of language. That is rather intriguing indeed.”

“It is more than that,” Helen explained, “I cannot… or rather could not speak Elvish before I came here. I was not even aware I could now do so, let alone that I was…am?” She looked more confused as she spoke.

Gandalf smiled kindly, “Don’t worry, child. We shall discuss this and try and find you an answer. For now, be content that some rather helpful knowledge as been given to you. Your coming to this world would have been decidedly more difficult if you had not been able to speak a language of the land.” He winked at her dumbfounded expression, such a thought had not even occurred to her as a possibility. That would’ve been a terrifying experience to be sure.

Glorfindel spoke, “Lord Elrond may have some thoughts on the matter but I feel this may be beyond his knowledge as well.”

Gandalf nodded, “I will consult a very wise friend. She may be able to give all the answers you seek.”

“Galadriel,” Helen whispered.

He eyed her with mirth twinkling in his eyes, “I shall have to get used to you knowing many things about us and our world that many do not.”

Gathering her things, Helen and Lou walked back with the pair. As Gandalf explained that he was planning on leaving soon to tend to some business but that he would be returning. “I will be passing through Lothlórian on my travels. I will seek out answers to your arrival and language concerns while I am there,” he said smoking from his long pipe as they walked.

“As long as it is not out of your way,” she said gratefully.

“Not at all, child, not at all,” he reassured her, “Besides, I’m not entirely sure where I will find the one I am seeking. I feel I will be crossing a great deal of country while on his trail.”

At this Helen took a misstep, ‘Could it be?’ she wondered. Glorfindel asked if she was alright. “I’m okay, just clumsy on occasion,” she masked her emotions whirling and managed an easy smile.

Gandalf, however, noticed and asked Glorfindel, “Do you think you could manage to hunt down Lord Elrond and his sons? I would like to let them know of my intent to leave before dinner is served.” Once he left, Gandalf eyed Helen, “Now then, you may ask what it is you wish.”

She blinked before grimacing, “I really need to work on not wearing my emotions on my sleeve.”

“Nonsense,” he grinned blowing smoke rings, “You experience emotions strongly. It is a great gift. Tell me, child, what is that is troubling you?”

Helen fiddled with her dress sleeve, “It is Thorin you are seeking, isn’t it?”

Gandalf let out several rings of smoke before answering, “It is indeed. Though with all you have stated, I need to check on something before I had decided for certain.”

She nodded. He would go to Baradur first then, “You will find him at the Prancing Pony in March.”

Gandalf hummed, “You’ve figured out when you are then?”

“Yes.”

He eyed her for a moment, “I see.”

“Gandalf,” she hesitated.

“Hm?”

“When you send them to the Shire, I wish to join the company,” she stated finally meeting his gaze.

He watched her from beneath the brim of his hat, puffing on his pipe for a while, “And you feel this is wise?”

She clutched at her chest as a dull ache throbbed there from the thought of what would happen if she didn’t try, “I cannot sit back and do nothing.”

“Something will happen then,” he said solemnly, “on the quest.”

“I think you knew there was a chance,” she neither agreed nor disagreed. She didn’t have to. It was apparent.

“Hm, yes, but one always has hope,” he said grimly.

“The quest will succeed.”

His pipe was held limply between his lips before he sputtered coughing lightly, “Well then, that is something. Isn’t it?” He seemed to be pleased with the knowledge, but upon her silence he saw a tear slide down her cheek. “Child?”

“The quest will succeed, but it will come at the highest cost,” she said finally. Her eyes flicked to meet his, the pain swimming there clear as day, before she looked to the ground, “Please be safe on your travels. Darkness lurks.” With that, she fled to her rooms, Lou on her heels, and was not seen for the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first of all- ISN'T LITTLE ARAGORN THE CUTEST THING EVER?!?!?!? Little charmer that one. I just wanted to hug him the whole time I was writing that. So. Damn. Adorable.
> 
> Anyway- Here we learned that Helen has been speaking Elvish since she plopped into this world. For some reason when she listens to her music from her world, she hears it like she always has and can sing along with it in her language (represented here by the italics). There is a reason for this and it will be explained later on. For now, we know as much as she does. :3
> 
> Images!  
> Elrond's Library: https://imgur.com/a/4yZCK  
> Helen's outfit for breakfast and her little adventure exploring Rivendell: https://imgur.com/a/bWFNx
> 
> We also learn that Gandalf is off to find Thorin. Helen has decided to go with him. It is officially beginning!


	8. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Glorfindel is much in need of a drink, and Elrond is happy to oblige.

Helen’s failure to show for dinner that evening had been covered by Gandalf’s assurances that she was weary from all she had been through and needing some rest. The next morning, however, Gandalf had departed already and no longer there to cover for her absence. So, when Elladan and Elrohir had overheard that the meal brought for her had not been eaten nor even touched, their concern led them to report the finding to their father and to Glorfindel. Elrond had reminded them of Gandalf’s words and told them that she had likely fallen asleep. The three had been eased, but their concern had not been erased.

Their concern seemed to have been well founded as the handmaiden that had been helping Helen since her arrival had gone to the small dining room directly to deliver a message to Lord Elrond in person. Helen would not be joining them for breakfast nor did she accept the tray set out for her once again.

Glorfindel waited until she left before he spoke to the twins, “Surely even one who is tired needs food. Perhaps we were wrong to not try to fetch her ourselves?”

“Nay,” Elladan said.

“We heard the kitchen staff talking about it. She wouldn’t open the door. Only spoke through it,” Elrohir confirmed.

Glorfindel pursed his lip chewing on his inner cheek, a bad habit he had picked up from some of the Rangers, “Surely it is more than Gandalf suggested.”

“I must admit that it seems like unusual behavior, but we do not know enough about her habits to truly say. Though, Glorfindel, if you feel it is so, I am inclined to believe it, friend,” Elrond said as he watched the worry across his captain’s face. “I think you more than anyone would have an insight to what she may be dealing with, wouldn’t you agree?”

Glorfindel’s head snapped up. When he spoke it was with some degree of caution, “What do you mean, my Lord?”

Elrond hummed thoughtfully. It was a discussion for another time. “I was merely commenting on your growing friendship with the girl. It is good to see that she will have a friend in her new world. I know I, myself, would enjoy learning about hers. Such interesting things she has brought. Very intriguing,” He spoke guiding the discussion away from the topic.

Elladan and Elrohir were quickly engaged in the subject of Helen’s world, but Glorfindel wasn’t fooled nor did he miss the meaningful glance Elrond sent him before they continued to break their fast for the morning. It was a tactic they had perfect over the years for when the subject matter needed privacy before being properly discussed.

After breakfast, Glorfindel killed time. He knew that seeking Elrond out too quickly could draw the attention of the twins, who were unfortunately equal parts clever and curious. He had a feeling that the discussion Elrond intended was best kept as secret as possible. So, Glorfindel cleaned his weapons, polished and oiled his armor, groomed Asfaloth, giving Aurora a pat in the next stall, all before making his way slowly and meanderingly back through the great house to Elrond’s library.

Elrond stood before some of the bookshelves putting away several scrolls as he heard Glorfindel enter, “Ah, just in time. I’ve just finished the ledgers and letters.”

“Pity I missed them,” Glorfindel smirked as he took a seat near the largest desk. Fingering through several of the papers, he said, “The Rangers are in need of equipment soon, I see. I will see to it that the smithy is informed. He will be pleased at the work of more than mending pots and making trinkets, I think.”

“Indeed,” Elrond spoke as he finished his chore, “With our people leaving these shores more and more, I fear he has felt too idle.”

Glorfindel nodded, “Very likely that is the case.” He hummed looking out the window as he thought of things he had seen from Helen’s mind.

Elrond saw the far off look to his friend’s eyes as he made across the room, “Have thoughts of those distant shores been calling to you as of late?”

“Hm?” Glorfindel looked over with furrowed brows before the words registered, “Ah, no. No more than usual, that is. Such a sight shall forever be emblazoned on my mind, but there is no great longing for silver shores like that which calls to many of our kin. My task in these lands is still far from finished, whatever they may be.”

It was an answer Elrond had received many times before when he asked how his friend fared being sent back from the Undying Lands as he had. If it was not the memory of fair lands that was causing such concentration then he wondered what it could be. He had a feeling that it had to do with their newest guest. “What has been troubling you, friend?” Elrond asked as he sat at his desk.

 “As always you see right through me,” Glorfindel gave a self-depreciating grin, “There is no use putting off telling you any longer. If I wait until I’ve analyzed the issue to its fullest, it may take me into the next age to feel satisfied. No, it is best I get your thoughts on the matter as well.” He sighed, “I formed a telepathic link with Helen. When she was lost in her thoughts during our meeting here before, I touched her arm to offer comfort and it formed. It was unintentionally done. Truthfully, I had never done so with any other in all my life, this one or the last. I was caught entirely unaware.”

Elrond nodded intrigued that his suspicions at the time had been confirmed, “Yes, it can be disconcerting if one is not prepared for it.”

“Truly,” Glorfindel scoffed, “an understatement if ever I have heard one, old friend. I feel a new appreciation for mortals who claim they’ve suddenly gone ill. I thought I would puke when I closed the connection.”

Elrond chuckled at that, “Indeed, you looked a bit green.”

Glorfindel tsked, “If the sensation would not have had that effect, I feel the result would have been much the same. What I saw within her mind was just as jarring.”

Elrond looked concerned, “Was there a touch of darkness?”

“No!” Glorfindel exclaimed, “No, I would have informed you right away if that was the case.”

“Right, of course, you’re right,” Elrond sat back, hands steepled, elbows upon the desk, “I did not mean to question you so. But what did you see then, my friend?”

Glorfindel waved away his apology, “Worry not. I know you didn’t mean it that way, but truly I can assure you that Helen is what she has claimed. I saw flashes in her mind, of her world. Strange images I do not fully grasp. Cities made of buildings of glass that raise high into the clouds, like great squared tree trunks. I saw lights fueled by no flame and boxes that show moving paintings- what did she call them? Movies? Yes, that feels right. Truly remarkable things.”

“I would but only wish for such a glance,” Elrond admitted.

“Ah, it was something, to be sure,” Glorfindel said as he thought of the many glorious things. “I saw her family as well, I believe. The one she calls Charlotte. She is sick. Some aliment for which they have no cure. Her mother and father have passed on years before.”

At this Elrond gave a great sigh, “She has suffered much.”

“Aye,” Glorfindel agreed, “I saw more. About our world, in these is were my greatest turmoil stems. It began as flashes on one of those boxes I spoke of, the movie things. She was remembering the movies about our world, the ones she spoke of, you remember?”

“Yes, she mentioned the tales of here were fairytales that had been acted on like plays,” Elrond said.

“Indeed, it was truly fascinating. A great many things were similar and others most curiously imagined, but the story is what was most important for it was that which her mind focused upon. Her mind moved then from that reenactment to books. Volumes of text detailing the story of our world, how it came to be, the peoples in it, the forming of nations and kingdoms and bloodlines. Our world from its creation until our current time and even a great deal further into the future. Certain phrases began to whirl through her mind on repeat, and while I couldn’t understand the text that flashed there, I understood her mind as she recalled them. The strangest thing began to occur then,” Glorfindel explained, “Her mind began to produce images for itself, not copied versions from the movies or such, but original conceptions of her own creation. Images to go along with the words, and it was in these images that I felt truly awed and shaken.”

“What made them different than her recalled memories?” Elrond asked his interest fully peaked.

“In these, I saw visions of our world, not reproduced version from her world’s imagination, but glimpses of our own world. Some faces I did not recognize, but I feel that was only because I have not met them. Others were slightly fuzzy, as though looking through murky water. The places, though, I have seen. She, however, has not. Not yet anyway, not the real versions that exist here in Middle Earth. The places her mind conjured as it raced through all that she knew would come to pass, they were all of them the actual places here,” he shook his head, “I don’t know what to make of it. She should have the memory of those books and movies, but to remember the events and overlay it upon the real places in our world, it shouldn’t be possible. It was jarring to see things to come in the places they are to happen and to recognize where it was happening.” Glorfindel ran a hand through his long hair, disheveling it a great deal, but carrying not at all. He felt disheveled, emotionally and mentally drained.

Elrond sat back, thinking, “You mean to say that it shifted and her memories became something more. Something more precognitive in nature?”

Glorfindel gave a great shrug, his arms falling into his lap, “I know not what else it could be.”

“You think the Valar is more at work here than just placing her in this world?” Elrond asked after a moment of silence.

“Yes,” Glorfindel confirmed, “I feel it in my very soul.”

Elrond’s brows furrowed, “Well, your soul, more than most, would recognize their presence. It seems the Valar has something in store for our new friend. They’ve given her memories a nudge it seems.”

Glorfindel shook his head, “I can certainly say that I no longer envy your gift. You can keep it. I’m rather happier without, I think.”

Elrond laughed, before sighing, a thought occurring to him, “She may not have the gift of sight like Galadriel or myself, but her knowledge of this world has fused with reality and created much the same effect. Most interesting. I wonder if her gift will expand beyond the texts she studied and be truly the gift of foresight.”

Glorfindel frowned, “For her sake, I hope not. I hope it is limited to what she already knows.”

Elrond looked to his friend in question.

“I fear for her should she be made to carry anymore,” Glorfindel admitted, “Through the connection, I felt what she did. Her emotions are vivid. She experiences emotions as rapidly and in as many at once as a child of man does, but the depth of them is new for her. She knows not all of the changes that comes with being of the Eldar. She truly cares too much for her own good.”

Understanding fell upon Elrond then, “You fear her feeling for the pain of others or her knowledge could lead her to fading?”

Glorfindel shrugged, “I truly do not know. I hope not, but it could certainly have some weakening effect, if nothing else. If she were to fall in love and lose that person, I do not doubt she would fade as any born an elf would.”

“Hm,” Elrond thought for a moment, “We must try to help her grasp these changes in herself.”

“I agree,” Glorfindel said, “I can’t help feeling we don’t have much time in that endeavor. I feel she will soon leave us for a time.”

“You saw this?” Elrond asked concerned.

“No, she was in turmoil when we were connected. No decision had been made, just the question posed,” he explained.

“I see,” Elrond said, “If that is the case, we will do what we can to prepare her. She will need our assistance no matter what she decides.”

Glorfindel nodded, “Yes, she shouldn’t bear the burden alone. I will help her if I can.”

“Very well then,” Elrond let out a great sigh, relief at the conclusion they had drawn. “Will you inform her of what you saw?”

“I do not wish to hide it, but I wouldn’t want her to feel as though her privacy was invaded,” Glorfindel admitted, “She is new in the life of the Eldar. We must instruct her in the gifts of such. I believe what I wish in the matter to be invalid. She will have to be told, so she can be taught what it means to be an elf.”

“Worry not, all will work out the way it is meant,” Elrond stated as he reached for a decanter of spirits, “How about a drink?”

“A fine idea,” Glorfindel agreed with a grin.

So it was that Elrond came to learn of Glorfindel’s knowledge and the connection that had occurred between the captain and Helen. It gave him comfort to know that she would not carry her burden alone. It gave Glorfindel comfort to share his burden with his old friend. And it gave them both comfort to drink of rather strong spirits well into the afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elrond and Glorfindel finally talk about the telepathic connection that occurred. Elrond learns that Glorfindel is in need of a rant and stiff drink. We also learn something interesting about Helen's memories about her knowledge of Middle Earth. Seems something interesting is happening there, hm?
> 
> In case it seemed confusing, basically what is happening is that her knowledging is fusing with the reality of Middle Earth. People's faces are now shifting into the actual faces of the people of Middle Earth. The places are no longer Peter Jackson interpretations or artists renderings but are now the actual places as they exist in Middle Earth. Helen hasn't noticed the changes in how her mind pictures these things. Typically when she is remembering something about Middle Earth, it is due to some emotional distress or a concern; her mind isn't focused on the imagery, just the facts. 
> 
> Glorfindel, however, knows Middle Earth. It is his reality, and so seeing places he recognizes from his world in the mind of someone who has never seen them is shocking to say the least. this leads to him trying to figure out how it is possible which leads to his conclusion of the Valar intervening... and also to his general befuddlement at it all.
> 
> I felt it really important to place emphasis on the fact that being an elf is more than living basically forever and having pointy ears. There are entire sensory differences and telepathy is one of them. Many elves have the ability but not all use it or are very good at it when they do. Tolkien was a bit vague on that point. However, I wanted Helen's transformation into an elf to hold more weight than we usually read in fanfics. Elves experience the world around them differently. They can die from broken hearts. They see differently and likely think differently as well. Glorfindel's accidental telepathic link and the way Helen experiences emotions are just two expressions of what it is to be an elf that I will be playing with in this fic.
> 
> Anywho, back to Helen and such in the next bit. Only one chapter away from the start of the journey, I think.
> 
> Pic set for our favorite Golden Flower: https://imgur.com/a/yTGrf


	9. Requests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen prepares for the journey and some requests are made.

It wasn’t until the day after Glorfindel and Elrond’s talk that Helen finally emerged from her room. She had spent the time pacing about in turmoil over her decision to go with Gandalf on the quest with Thorin and company. She had thought over every possible scenario, weighed the pros and cons, had driven herself to tears then to tugging at her hair and then to banging her head once or twice against the wall out of frustration, and a good few screams into her pillow. During her…musings, she had gone through all of her belongings and rediscovered the books she had brought along on her camping trip into Zion. She had brought them to pass the time and now she was very grateful for it. The four books had laid forgotten at the bottom pocket of the largest saddlebag. The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings trilogy had made the journey into Middle Earth with her.

She had a feeling that no one would be able to read the texts. It was clear that English was not known to them when they heard it. So, it was likely they couldn’t recognize the written form either, but to be safe, she had hidden them well. Even so, the discovery had allowed for her to reread The Hobbit. As that was the time she was currently in, she had wanted to refresh her memory. She hadn’t accounted for how excellent her memory would be now, for once finishing it, she could recall nearly every word exactly. ‘Perhaps it is something to do with being an elf?’ she wondered as she hid the book among the other items from her world at the bottom of her wardrobe.

Rereading had allowed her to reach a conclusion; she truly felt that she had made the right choice in wanting to join. Even if she told Gandalf exactly what was going to happen and what needed to be prevented, there was no guarantee that he would be able to change it. There was also the risk that Gandalf would neglect to do something he should be doing in order to remain always at Thorin’s side, and then what could change further on down the line? No. It was too risky. Just as it was too risky to send someone else from this world along on the quest instead. They all had places they needed to be and things they needed to be doing in order for later events to unfold. The only option for minimal impact to the timeline of Middle Earth, with the exception of things she wanted to try and change, was to go herself. The only problem was that she was just a scholar from her world, not a warrior.

With a new purpose, she left her rooms looking for food and then Lord Elrond, hopefully in that order. She hadn’t eaten in two days. She found him, after finding a snack, in a courtyard reading a scroll and wondered if he ever wasn’t reading something. That thought had made her smile as she approached him, “Good afternoon, Lord Elrond.”

He looked up surprised to see her about and looking well, “Good afternoon, indeed. It is good to see you about and on such a lovely day.”

She chuckled, “In Rivendell, every day is lovely one. Your home is beautiful.” She looked around the courtyard garden, spying butterflies and hummingbirds, “I am sorry if I caused any concern. I had a great deal to work out.”

“Thank you, young one. I know it is not home for you, but I hope that you will consider it as such while you remain in this world, for however long that may be,” his kindness was met with a look of surprise. He gave her an amused grin, before gathering some scrolls upon the bench and dropping them into the satchel at his feet, “And did you work out all you needed to?” he asked offering her a place upon the now cleared bench.

Still overcome by his kindness, she could only nod, “I did.” She gladly took the offered seat. She cleared her throat, “There was something I wished to ask you.”

“Of course. Ask anything at all,” his tone ever kind and gentle as he observed the way she had begun to fidget.

“Thank you,” she said, “I should say first that I decided that I will put my knowledge to use.” She cleared her throat once more, “There are certain things I can prevent. Things that will only change the bigger picture for the better.” She glanced at him, still only seeing his calm expression as he listened. Gaining her nerve, she said, “However, I will need to know how to fight. I need to be able to defend myself and protect others if I am to achieve my goal.”

He nodded, “Very well.”

She blinked, “What? Really? Just like that?”

“Of course,” he said as though commenting on the weather, “You wish to be able to defend yourself and protect the lives of others. I think it a wise endeavor and one worthy of the effort you’ll need to put into it.”

“But,” she stammered, “but aren’t you afraid I’ll mess up? That I’ll do something that will change how things should go and make it so evil wins in the end?”

He chuckled at that, “Ah, careful dear. I do not wish to learn anything you do not expressly wish me to know.” He chided her word choice gently before answering her questions, “As for your concerns, I trust you will make the right choice.”

Her eyes widened, “You… you do?”

He nodded, his expression fond as he replied, “I do.”

She took a large breath releasing it and letting her anxiety flee with it, “Thank you.”

He merely smiled before gathering his remaining scrolls and collecting his satchel, “You’re most welcome. Now come along, there are a few persons who will be greatly relieved at your recovery.”

She chuckled as she followed, “I hope no one was too worried.”

“Oh they were not unmanageable,” he grinned, “just nearly.”

She laughed then, “Somehow, I get the feeling that is often the case.”

“You’re very wise for your age,” he stated satirically earning another laugh.

She saw then that they were coming upon a training area. Dummies were set up for sword practice and targets sat in a row for archery. A ring with a dirt floor was arranged for sparing and was the only place currently occupied in the wide space.

“This is where our guard is trained. Some Rangers from the North come here, as well, to train with Glorfindel, Elladan, and Elrohir,” Elrond said as they walked through the large space, “There was a time when this place would’ve been filled with Elven soldiers, but our time on these shores is fading. Our people have begun to leave Middle Earth, and so these arenas of combat are mostly unused for majority of the time.”

 She could not think of what to say. The hint of melancholy in his tone as he spoke made her wish to comfort him somehow, but she didn’t know how. What could be said in such a case? She felt no amount of words could do justice to all the feelings Lord Elrond must be wrestling with. She knew for herself the pain of being torn from the only place you have known, of being torn from your home world. Even so, she had only lived for a short 27 years in her world. Lord Elrond had lifetimes, ages worth of memories tied to these lands. How could she possibly find the words to comfort such an ancient being?

The clanging of metal drew her attention to an area ahead. She recognized the three figures instantly. The twins were in the ring and Glorfindel sat upon the railing shouting corrections to their form as he watched.

“Glorfindel, my friend,” Elrond called as they neared, “Giving them a good session, I hope. They could do with burning some of that energy off.”

Glorfindel looked over grinning widely, “Fear not, old friend, I will make sure they are barely able to lift a finger when I am through.”

Elrond laughed at that.

Spotting Helen at Elrond’s side, Glorfindel spoke offering her a blinding smile, “I am glad to see you moving about among the living once more. Get bored of staring at the walls did you?”

She grinned back as she teased, “I ran out of leaves to count out of the carvings in my room and figured I’d find something else to do.”

He snorted a laugh at that, Elrond chuckling as well. “Indeed, that must have been some task,” Glorfindel said. He was pleased. If she was trading words of whit with him, then she must be feeling more herself.

“Oh it was,” she chuckled glancing to Elrond for a bit of courage, “I’ve actually come to ask a favor.”

“Oh?” Glorfindel looked to Elrond, “The both of you?”

Elrond smiled, “In a way. She has asked a favor of me and I’ve come to enlist your expertise.”

“Well, let us hear it,” he laughed.

“Could you train me to fight?” Helen asked.

Glorfindel’s mirth stilled. He became serious as he looked her over. He knew his gut feeling that she would be leaving had been correct. It was the knowledge he now shared with her that had him asking, “You are certain this is what you want?”

“I am,” she nodded.

He studied her for a moment, looking for any hint that she held hesitations. Finding none, he hopped off the railing, “Follow me.”

She blinked looking to Elrond’s amused glance and then to Glorfindel who had begun walking away, “Wh-what?”

He turned to face her with a grin, “If you want to learn to fight, we must find you a weapon.”

* * *

 

Since Gandalf had taken his leave of the Secret Valley, Helen had undergone an intense training- with weapons, with her endurance, with her patience. Her request that Glorfindel train her had launched her into the most intense boot camp experience she had ever witnessed, let alone been a part of. The Golden-haired Warrior had gone into full-on captain mode, and she quickly realized why he was so fearsome a warrior back in Gondolin. If she hadn’t so desperately needed the skills he was teaching her, she would’ve been tempted to hide any time she caught a glimpse of him. He took to his task with a deadly seriousness. His no-nonsense demeanor and her tendency at  lashing out when frustrated had led to them having a few good fights, which had sent the demure citizens of the Valley running. Luckily, this had been just the thing to stop the glares and snickering of the Elves who had seemed convinced that she and Glorfindel were becoming a thing. Apparently, yelling at one another was not viewed as an Elven form a courtship.

In the worst instance, Helen had been failing to grasp what he had been demonstrating. They had been trying to get her coordination down with dual swords for the better part of a week. It was a week that she didn’t have to waste when she wasn’t gaining any ground. If she couldn’t handle the simple forms he was showing her, how did she expect to survive the journey?

It was that point exactly that Glorfindel had yelled out after she had blown up in frustration.

* * *

  _-Flashback-_

* * *

 

Her anger at herself and the situation drained, “What do you mean?”

Glorfindel’s anger too had fled and he leaned against the sparring ring wall, “I know about your journey. I know what you aim to do.”

Helen’s mouth fell open, “Wh-what do you mean? Journey?” She shuffled pulling her eyes from his knowing ones. She sighed, defeated, “How did you find out? No one else knows do they?”

Glorfindel shook his head, “Lord Elrond knows that I know, but not exactly what I know.” He tossed his weapons aside, “I don’t know how much you truly know about elves. I know you know a great deal, but reading about it and living it are different things.”

“Yes,” she nodded confused, “They definitely are.” She had no idea where he was going with this.

He chewed his inner cheek, “Elves are different than the children of Men in many ways. Many of these are more apparent,” he reached to flick her pointed ear chuckling as she scoffed, “Others are less obvious.” He explained, “We feel in different ways than Men. Our capacity for feeling is much deeper. We learn to deal with these emotions as we age; it is this control over our inner feelings that makes us behave as we do. Some elves seem ever stoic, pools of unending calm. Others ever merry and carefree. Some, having experienced great losses or pain, with draw and seem cold and unfeeling to others. To feel emotion as an Elf is to feel with one’s whole being.”

She said in understanding, “Yes, I have noticed that my emotions are different now. What hurt before feels crippling now. What memories once were fond are now overwhelmingly nostalgic. It is definitely different from being a human.”

He hummed with a nod, “There is more, though. Being an elf gives us skills that Men do not that have. We hold a connection to nature. It may express differently in different Elves; some may speak to trees or animals, while others may be able to simply feel the emotional impressions of such beings. We only love once, because to do so is to give our heart fully. Once given it cannot be retrieved as our very souls seek out that of our loves. This why when one dies the remaining soul fades in order to rejoin its mate. We have more sensitive senses than children of Men. Our eyes see further. Our hearing spans greater distances. Our smell is more acute. Our memories are unfailing. But that is not all.”

At his pause, she urged him on eager to hear more, “What is not all?” she asked.

He seemed hesitant, sighing, “I do not wish to upset you.”

Helen’s brows furrowed, “Why would it upset me? I find this all fascinating. And, considering that I am learning about something I now am, I am eager for you to go on. Even if it is something unexpected, it is better to know about it than be surprised to discover it later on.”

He snorted a bit at that, “Indeed. From experience, I can safely agree that knowing what to expect would be beneficial.” He sighed more to ready himself than anything, “Very well, but you must promise to hear me out fully.”

“I promise,” she agreed.

“As children of the Eldar, our minds are capable of much that a child of Man could never do. Magic is not an uncommon gift in the Eldar, whether through healing or spells inlaid with our crafts. It is more uncommon for an elf not to have some ability in this matter. We can access more of our minds than Men can, and many such abilities are possible for us because of this. Galadriel and Elrond both have the gift of foresight, though their skills vary. Galadriel, also, can speak to your mind without ever saying a word.”

Helen nodded at that, “Yes, her telepathy is written about a good deal.”

“Yes,” he said, “but it is not a skill as rare as foresight. In fact, most elves can do it to some degree.”

Helen blinked, “What? Really?”

He nodded, “Though most are limited to their mates or very close family. For instance,” he explained, “Elladan and Elrohir can communicate as though speaking to each other, and they can do so from a good distance away. It makes their skills when patrolling to the North even more valuable as a pair.”

“That’s amazing!” Helen said, “I had no idea! Though with them being twins, I don’t know why I am surprised. Even twins in my world are said to sometimes share great connections and abilities to sense each other, though nothing to that extent.”

“Indeed?” he asked curiously, “That is fascinating to be sure, for a world without magic.” He then continued, “More rare a skill would be some elves develop the ability to peer into another’s mind with little to no connection needed. Galadriel is a prime example of this skill. Others still are able to get a feel for another through such a method, though not to the degree that Galadriel can. It is more testing the waters of another’s mind to get impressions from them, rather than seeing what is within. Elrond uses this to test whether a newcomer to the Valley has ill intent.”

“Ah,” she said pursing her lips, “he must’ve poked around my mind a great deal.”

Glorfindel only smiled, “He did so to see if you were false or meaning harm, but he could not read your mind. It’s a bit like feeling the emotions rather than true mind reading, like Galadriel may.”

She hummed in thought, “This is more complicated than I thought.”

He chuckled, “Yes, I suppose for someone on the outside coming into it, it may seem that way. For an elf, it simply is the way it is.”

“I guess,” she said not convinced.

“Now comes the confession, of sorts,” he said at last, “Though I’m not sure that is quite the word. In Lord Elrond’s library that first time, when we all met together and spoke of who you were, you remember?”

“Of course,” she said bemused, “It is hard to forget being interrogated by storybook figures come to life.”

He snorted as she laughed, “Well, you remember that I laid my hand upon your arm?”

She admitted that she had, for she did remember his gesture of kindness.

“When I did so, our minds connected. It was something I had never experienced and so it caught me unaware. I saw, well, everything,” he admitted, “or nearly everything. A great deal about your world. And,” he paused, swallowing as he braced for the importance of the next confession, “I saw what you know of our world. All of what you know of our world.”

She released a shaky breath, “I… I don’t know what to say. I feel like I should feel angry in some way that you dug around in my head, but you said yourself that it was unexpected and unintentional. I can’t be angry for something you had no control over.”

He relaxed at that, “Oh thank the Valar.” He sighed, “I have been so worried you’d be upset with me. I have come to enjoy your friendship and it would grieve me greatly if something were to damage it.”

She gave him a pat on the arm, “Don’t worry. You aren’t rid of me yet.” She laughed as he rolled his eyes, grinning all the while, “I must admit though...”

“What?” he said, his turn to be confused.

“I’m actually relieved that someone else knows what I do,” she slumped against the wall beside him sliding down to sit at its base.

He followed suit, plopping down beside her, “It is too great a burden to bare alone.”

She winced nodding, “I am sorry that you have to deal with it now too.”

He shook his head, “No, I am glad to share some of it with you.”

She smiled at that. Letting her head fall to lean on his shoulder, “Thank you, Glorfindel.”

He let his cheek rest against her hair, “You’re most welcome.”

* * *

  _-End of Flashback-_

* * *

 

Since then, her friendship with Glorfindel had only grown. When she became too worried about the future, he was there to offer her a shoulder to lean on. He listened to her talk about what she wished to change and they discussed ways it may be done. It was a great relief to her to have him agree that saving Thorin and his heirs from their untimely deaths could only have a positive impact on the battles that Erebor faced during the War of the Ring. It would mean that dark army facing not just Erebor’s forces, but the combined armies of Dain and Thorin and Dale’s men as well. She dreamed that even Thranduil’s forces may be there to help, less lives would be lost all around if she could manage it.

She only had to save a King, his heirs, solidify Dale’s forces and defenses, and rehabilitate the relations between Durin’s folk and the Woodland realm. No big deal. At the very least, her goal was to do all she could to save Thorin and his kin. The rest she would worry about after.

Her training had also gone much more smoothly since her and Glorfindel’s talk. They had mutually agreed that dual weaponry was just not going to happen for her. Instead, she became rather good with a single handed sword in her main hand and a dagger in her left. It allowed for her to block and to deliver damage if her sword arm was unable. She had knowledge of knives already, though not for fighting. Her familiarity with knives had helped her otherwise useless left hand get used to it all faster.

Her archery lessons had been left to Elladan and Elrohir’s tutelage. The brothers had been excited to hear about Helen wanting to train, and they had eagerly jumped at the chance to teach her what they knew. On the whole, these lessons were much easier and more fun. After all, she had a good deal of experience with her bow already. Still, she had only ever used her archery for sport and the occasional hunt, with a few instances of defense from a wild animal or two. She was nowhere near an expert. Nor did she have any disillusion that she would be prepared in any way for any kind of real combat.

The twins took to teaching her a few other skills they often shared with the Rangers of the North. She was learning tracking. All though she couldn’t always tell exactly what had passed by or exactly when or the likely height and weight and such, she could tell the direction moved and if it was an animal or elf. She could proudly tell a male deer from a doe track now. Though she was far from an expert or anywhere near elven tracker level, it was something and she enjoyed it quite a bit. She had also been taught some herbal knowledge. Athelas was the focus, though she learned of others that could be used to heal or for food. When Elladan had brought her a bird with a broken wing and Elrohir had walked her through what to do, she had exclaimed in glee when a white glow had sputtered to life in her hands around the Athelas paste she had made, and the bird chirped happily before flying away.

* * *

 - _Flashback_ -

* * *

 

“That was amazing!” she exclaimed hugging both of the twins in her excitement, “What was that light?”

“The light of the Eldar,” Elrohir explained laughing as Elladan spun her about, “It is the inner light that all elven folk have. In a way, it is your soul and in another way it is the connection we have with the Valar. It is the way in which we are able to heal to the degree and speed in which we are well-known for.”

She plopped upon the ground at Elrohir’s side exhausted but still buzzing in excitement, “So cool.”

Elladan sat at her other side, grinning still, “Indeed,” he agreed as they had gotten used to some of her odd sayings, “Though we must caution you. Small wounds may be healed easily, but the larger the wound the more draining it is for you. It is like offering some of your life force to do the healing. As such, a large wound could leave you feeling more drained.”

“Is that why I feel a bit light headed?” she asked.

“It could be,” Elrohir said nodding, “After all, you are a bit like a youngling elf,” he explained plopping a hand upon her head and mussing the hair. He laughed as she batted his hand away, “You will learned how much of your light is needed, but until then, you may use more than really needed at times.”

She looked worried as she tried to settled wayward locks, “Could I use too much and …” she chewed her lip before giving up and rebraided the mess altogether, “Could this, in theory, kill me?”

Elladan and Elrohir exchanged looks of alarm. Finally Elladan answered, “You would pass out before that could be done accidentally. You’d have to truly be healing a large wound for that to happen. It would have to be a life threatening one to even get close to such an occurrence.”

“There is more,” Elrohir explained ignoring the disgruntled look from his twin, “You may be able to do more, but it must be consciously done. The choice would have to be knowingly made.”

Elladan seemed upset at this, “We do not know if this holds true for her. She may not be halfelven at all. If so, she cannot do it. You know this.”

Elrohir sighed, “It is true. We don’t know for certain. However, considering that she was born a child of man and became an elf upon entering our world- surely if any was likely to be halfelven, she would.” He spoke to his brother trying to ease the worry clearly laid upon his face, “You know as well as I the duality of such a state. Just as we were given the truth and allowed to make the choice ourselves, do you not think she deserving of the knowledge and allowed to make her choices with it?”

Elladan sat brooding for a moment longer before giving a great sigh and looking to Helen at last, “My brother is right, as he often is. I ask you to forgive me for my hesitance to tell you all. It is not my place to withhold knowledge that may pertain to you. I must only ask your forgiveness and express that it is my fondness for you that would seek to spare you a fate if I could.”

Helen was at a loss. Not for the information, that she understood. She was at loss at what to do for the sudden weight that had settled over the pair. But she recognized the despair Elladan had and the solemnness of Elrohir’s expression, so she was quick to respond, “I forgive you. Of course, I forgive you.” She wrapped an arm around his side from their seated positons, “I would wish to spare either of you from harm if I could. How could I hold such a thing against you?”

Elladan relaxed and returned her hug, “Thank you, friend. My brother is wise. You may in fact be halfelven after all. You should be told of the gift.”

Sitting back in her spot, she looked to Elrohir and Elladan before voicing her guess, “The gift? You mean the choice that your line has in choosing to live a mortal life or as one of the Eldar?”

Elrohir laughed as Elladan sputtered, “Well,” Elrohir said through his chuckling, “It seems we had little reason to be worried. We often forget that you know a great deal already.”

“Oh, that is it then?” she asked still confused.

“Yes and no,” Elladan said grimly, “When healing you offer some of your inner light, like we’ve explained. But for a truly mortal wound, in an instance to save a life, you can chose to give up your gift of an Eldar life in exchange of the one who is dying. Only halfelven can do this. A full elf may plead with the Valar to exchange their life for another if the wound is fatal, but if they accepted, that elf would fade. I don’t believe that choice as ever been used in history.”

Elrohir explained further, “It is a bit like splitting your soul in half. The elven half is given to the fading one, though it won’t change the healed into immortal or anything. It will heal them if the Valar accepts it, but you will be left mortal if they do.”

“And if they don’t?” she asked.

Elladan pursed his lips, “Sometimes the Halls of Mandos call must be answered, even if we wish it otherwise. Or the individual must away to the Undying Lands, if that road is open to them.”

The twins fell silent then. Both lost in thought, she felt their sadness swell. The thought of their mother came to her mind and she wondered if that had something to do with the heaviness in the air now. She didn’t dare ask and only sat in silence between them.

* * *

 -End  _Flashback_ -

* * *

 

Over the past two months, she had been able to utilize her new Elven reaction times and senses into perfecting her archery. She could proudly say that thanks to her new Elven status she shot as though she had been doing it as long as the next elven archer. And as it now stood with the sword, the rest would have to be gained from experience and gaining a great deal of muscle memory. Her tracking was much improved and her healing was good, though she still had trouble with controlling how much she put in. However, training was not the only way she had spent the past few months. In getting ready for her journey, she took what she knew of Dwarven culture, which was a great deal more than any other Elf in Rivendell and probably beyond due to Dwarven secrecy and private nature about their culture, and decided to give herself a leg up in winning over the company of Thorin. The craftsman in Rivendell, Rilien, had been only too happy to help her out. He was so glad to have an excuse to craft fine weaponry once more that he had thrown himself enthusiastically at any request or challenge she posed for him. He took great interest in the weapons she had from her world, though he did not know of their origin. She allowed him to study them as much as he wished. Her knives had useful design, but the craftsmanship was nothing compared to elven hands. Rilien remade the blades by using them as the basis for design, but making new ones of elven craftsmanship. He studied all the weaponry she brought. As a result, he had crafted the finest bow she had ever seen.

As bow technology in Middle Earth seemed to be based on longbows or recurve bows, her hybrid bow had been something new. After long talks about its history (while leaving out the part about her being from another world), Rilien had produced a truly amazing weapon. It was silent when shot and fast. Very fast. It was lighter, slimmer in her hand, but more powerful than any wooden bow from her world. It was also much more powerful. With the most powerful hunting bow in her world ranging at about 70-90 pounds of draw weight, this bow felt light as a feather to pull back and was much, much stronger. Rilien had her try it out on various targets. It had gone straight through the straw target, embedded too deeply into a tree to be retrieved, and the final test, had pierced a metal shield.

She had stood gaping at the arrow lodged in the metal, “Rilien, what did you make this thing out of?”

He had been confused but greatly flattered at such praise of his work when he replied, “Wood, of course.”

‘Flippin’ elves,’ she had bemused to herself, as the craftsmen began making plans for more such bows.

Upon seeing her new weapon, Elrohir and Elladan had been so pleased with the improved bow design that they had ordered a large amount to be made for the Rangers in the North and to send to Lothlórian, where the archers of the Galadhrim where well known. Helen had suggested that some be sent to the Woodland Realm as well, though there was some question as to whether Thranduil would accept them as anything more than a snub at their own weaponry. She had also requested that one be made of a darker wood and decorated with Dwarven styling. She said he could take it where he wished and her only request was that it be fit for royalty when he was done. The request had raised a curious brow from Rilien, but he gladly accepted the challenge to his artistry and the chance to show off.

The new Dwarven-inspired bow now sat within her wardrobe, along with a set of two dozen throwing knives with Damascus blades and beautifully wooden handles, and a matching knife styled like her Bowie knife but with Dwarven flare. These would make up part of the gifts she planned to bring for Thorin and his heirs. In Dwarven custom, the exchange of weaponry was involved in a great deal of situations. Weddings, coronations, knighting and title bestowments, and many other instances revolved around the exchanging of weaponry. It was her hope that this would help to convince them to accept the help from a seemingly normal female Elf, since she didn’t plan to reveal too much about herself if she didn’t have to.

As the time passed by and she was given more and more time to think about how she could accomplish the task she had set for herself, she had wistfully and jokingly commented on Frodo’s special mail shirt, “If that could save him from being stabbed by a Troll, then surely it could stop some arrows and swords swings from some Orcs and Goblins.”

“Oh, it could most definitely do that,” Glorfindel responded matter-of-factly, “I doubt much at all could pierce a shirt of Mithril. Perhaps a blade of Mithril could have? But none was ever made, thank the Valar! The metal was too rare to be crafted into blades, only a few Mithril armor survive since the fall of Númenor, and Moria is lost to Dwarven folk taking the last of that metals veins with it.”

He had not given much thought to her comment nor his reply, but it had swirled in her mind ever since. So, she decided to seek out the only person she knew that had any chance of making her plan a possibility. She only hoped that Lord Elrond would have access to such a treasure and that he would grant her such a request. After all, one such item was said to be worth more than all of the Shire put together.

She had only a month left to prepare. Knowing time was precious, it was that night she made her move. After dinner had been served and the Hall of Fire was filled with song, Helen requested a meeting with the Lord of Rivendell in private.

Upon knocking at the carven doors, she was bade entrance, “Good evening, young one,” he spoke welcoming her and gestured to a seat near the blazing fire, “Come, have a seat and tell me what troubles you.”

“Thank you,” she sat gratefully, “I’m sorry to pull you away from the song and dance.”

“It is no trouble at all. My kind are want to sing and dance any chance they get, and as you’ve come to see, that is most nights if it can be helped. Thus, missing a time or two is no great loss to me,” he said as he sat a scroll he had been reading upon a small table beside his armchair, “I often find that time spent in my library before the fire with a good scroll is just as pleasurable.”

“Well, I thank you just the same,” she smiled. His voice was warm and filled her with a since calm. It was a feeling that radiated from him, and she wondered how anyone could meet him and not find his company enjoyable. It was easy to see why this place was called the Last Homely House, and it fit that if such was the case then Elrond would be the kindly fatherly figure, welcoming all as though they were kin.

“I hear from Elladan and Elrohir that you’ve improved vastly with the blade,” he stated with a pleased look, “Each takes credit for some advancement or another, but I think we can all agree that it is most probably Glorfindel who deserves the claim.”

It made her flush, reminding her of her mother goading over her academic achievements, “I am not entirely sure I reach their lofty praises, but Glorfindel tells me that there is not much else that can be learned without firsthand experience.”

Elrond nodded thoughtfully, “Glorfindel is a wise warrior and the head of my guard, if he says it is so, then you should feel secure that your skill is quite good indeed.” He eyed her for a moment, “This does not ease your worry.”

She let out a breath slowly, “No, I have to admit that I am not certain I will ever feel completely ready. I just hope that when the time comes I am more a help than a burden.”

He hummed thoughtfully, “It is a wise soldier, indeed, that knows caution. It is the brash and prideful that find their ability much less than they thought and suffer for it.” He paused for a time letting that sink in before he continued, “It is good that you have these concerns. It means that you are led with your mind and not your emotions. Such will do you good on your travels.”

The tension eased from her for the first time in a long time. “Thank you,” she sighed relaxing back into her seat, “I needed to hear that.”

He chuckled, “I am glad to be of service. But tell me, surely such reassurances were not all that you sought, what is it that you wished to ask of me?”

Her hesitation was short. She had little other options. “I do have something to ask, but I feel that even asking it is well beyond anything I deserve or have any right to ask for.”

He frowned, “What could you need that you have cause to feel unworthy of, young one? Surely, no one in this land as made you feel lesser?”

She shook her head adamantly, “Oh no. No, no. No one made me feel this way. I just… It is a huge thing to request, and I know how much such things are worth and treasured. And I don’t even know if any are here or if it is possible, but I feel I must ask because if I don’t then they could die and then what would be the point of my being here at all?”

As her words continued to spill from her mouth, Elrond became increasingly bemused and astonished once more at her capability for emotion. Each one played over her face so plainly that any length of time spent with her would make it clear that she was very unlike the reserved and emotionally closed-off Elven folk. It made believing that she was born a child of Man as easy as breathing, and should she ever need to convince any others of her story, he felt reassured that her countance would help her cause. Truthfully, he got joy from her humanity, and was very glad her transformation into a child of the Eldar had not taken that from her. It reminded him greatly of his long lost brother. He only wished her fate would be brighter than his.

“By Manwë above, young one,” he spoke finally interrupting her deluged, “I assure you that anything within my power to give will be yours. You are as to me as my kin, and rather dear to me, I must confess. Surely, you will allow me the joy of granting this request of yours, if nothing else than to see this burden you carry lightened even by a fraction.”

At this she was so deeply touched, that she could only give him a wobbly smile of gratitude, “Thank you. That thought alone means more to me than I can ever express. I have always been very fond of you as well, even before I knew you truly existed at all.”

At this, he was very much pleased and his smile was so warm and full of kindness and acceptance that for a moment, she glimpsed the face of her own long passed father, “Your words do me a great honor, dear one, truly. Please, ask what you will.”

“For my travels when I leave with Gandalf, I am hoping to take with me three very important items. As is the nature of such things, I must ask this without fully disclosing why it is that I need them, but I can assure you that it is not for personal gain nor even personal use,” she chewed her lip a moment steeling her nerves. Taking a breath, she asked, “How difficult would it be to acquire three shirts of mail that may fit dwarven folk,” as Elrond opened his mouth to answer, she added, “Three shirts of mithril mail.” The shutting of his mouth gave an audible click and she closed her eyes cringing, awaiting for exclamations of disbelief, outrage, or at least thorough scalding on how impossible such a thing was.

Clearing his throat several times, Elrond fought to get over his shock at such a request. It was not the value of such items. She had been right when she stated that even one very small shirt of such material would be worth a small kingdom to be sure. Such means of measuring value held little weight to Elrond. The sentimental value of such items would surely give him pause. After all, such items would only exist as heirlooms from royalty and great rulers and warriors of his people, and thus would hold historical meaning to him and his people. But even that did not settle uneasily with him. The fact that they would be needed, very obviously, for Dwarves did not affect him either. Rather, it lead to one concern he did have.

The only reasons for his struggle came from two things. Firstly, out of concern for why she would have such a great need for such a thing, but he knew that these answers were not his to ask. Just as he knew that when she could, she would tell him why they were needed. His second concern, and the biggest obstacle, was whether or not he would be able to fulfil such a request at all.

Noting the way she seemed braced for a negative reaction, Elrond made to answer her, “I cannot say that your request did not startle me, for it very much did.” He watched her wince with a frown, “Fret not, dear one, it was not for any reason you may be thinking. I am merely worried for your future safety.” Smiling gently as she finally opened her eyes, though still seeing the glimmer of hesitation in her gaze, he spoke once more, “I will do my best to locate such items. These things tend to have all been rounded up and hoarded away in various locations or lost to time all together. But I will do what I can to find any that may be available. It is a shame that you did not merely need one such item, for I know that Glorfindel has one such shirt of mail in his vast collection of weaponry and armor.”

“If I could I would have fourteen such items in total, but that is a feat that I have sense enough to know is impossible,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh, “As it is, I already feel like I am picking out my favorite siblings from the lot, even if that is not it at all.” Even so, Helen felt beyond grateful and relieved at his response, “Thank you. Honestly. You and your kin here have given me so much already. I feel selfish asking for more, especially something like this.”

His shock returned at her statement of wishing she had fourteen, but as she went on he could only chuckle. “Ah,” he grinned, “But it is not selfish at all, is it? After all, you asked they be fit for Dwarven folk to wear, and I think we all can agree that such a size would all but swallow you whole. You could have asked for a fourth for yourself, for such would not be out of the realm of possibility, but you did not ask for it. You are far from selfish, dear one. I hope you do not truly feel such, because I assure you that neither myself nor any other thinks it of you.”

“Well, that is a relief,” she huffed a laugh.

“Indeed,” he chuckled, though his face took on a more serious look, “By all rights, you could have kept any knowledge about things to come to yourself. After all, things would have played out as they would and you could’ve lived out your days in this world here in safety and in peace until a time when you were able to return to your world or you passed into the Undying Lands with my kin.”

She frowned, “I could never do that. I couldn’t sit here on silk cushions and eating feasts in the great Hall each night knowing what I know- that good people were out there dying and that I could have stopped it.”

The smile he gave her then was one of fatherly pride and fondness, “And that, my dear, is why you could never be considered selfish.” With that, he stood making for his large desk. Pulling out a scroll, he took a quill in hand and began writing, “I will send out a request to Lothlórian. The Lady Galadriel is the oldest of my kin and the wisest. She will know where such items can be located. She may even have such in her care.” He wrote for a moment before thinking aloud, “Perhaps, I could send one out to King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm. Though he is fond of treasures and would be less likely to relinquish such items.”

At this Helen jumped to her feet, “No!”

Elrond startled, “Well, you might be right, but he very well _could_ decide to help.”

“No, it is not that,” she fought for the words to say, “It is not a question of whether he would or not, though for the record, I should state that I’d bet not. It is that I don’t think it is a good idea to ask for anything of him, especially not this. I fear it would lead to a very bad end for some very important people.”

Elrond’s brows furrowed at that. He could only think of one such circumstance that would cause such a reaction. Surely the only thing that would result in raising the ire of the Woodland King would be seeing such treasures he had given to Elves worn by Dwarven folk. The Woodland realm’s displeasure at all Dwarves was very well known.

He nodded, “Very well. I believe you are quite right.” Within moments, the letter to Lorien was finished and a bell upon the wall was rang, “I will have this sent out by our fastest rider. In the meantime, we will search within our realm for the items you request.”

“Thank you again,” she gave his shoulder an affectionate squeeze, “You have done more than you know to ease my mind.”

“That is all I could hope for, dear one,” he returned her gesture patting the hand at his shoulder, “I know the weight it is to carry foresight of any sort. It gives me pleasure to ease such a burden from shoulders so small.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I think that was my biggest chapter yet. 
> 
> I hope you all didn't mind the flashbacks. I typically hate those, but I needed to shove 2 months worth of events into a single chapter. It was a lot to cover and going at it all in order would've taken ages. I blocked them off with page breaks so hopefully that helped to represent the time shifts.
> 
> More bonding with Glorfindel! Woot! And some bonding with Elladan and Elrohir! Double woot! I added in some Elrond cause I just really love him, okay. And he seems like someone you'd just really hope to get a hug from. Doesn't he seem like he'd give the best hugs? 
> 
> Anywho, Helen is being trained in swordfighting by Glorfindel. Elladan and Elrohir have polished her archery and are teaching her things they teach Rangers. She learned that Glorfindel and her did the Vulcan mind meld, which was weird for her but at the same time HOLY HECK SOMEONE ELSE IS ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS CRAP NOW! She may or may not be super relieved about that. (Spoiler- She is hella relieved.) She also learned more about what it means for her to be an elf now. Healing is cool but giving away your life force is kinda scary. 
> 
> Rilien hopefully came across as a total nerd for weapons. Cause he is. Completely. He would have essentially fangirled over her weird and new weapons and then been super duper excited to replicate and mess around with their redesign. As a fun side note, I have a headcanon that these bows are the ones Legolas later fangirls over in Lothlorien. Rilien would be very pleased by that.
> 
> Any who, Journey begins in next chapter. Yay dwarves!


	10. Of Partings and Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has finally come! Helen meets the Dwarves- and Bilbo!- and we learn how well prepared she truly was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mentioned before, this story will deal with several issues I felt would be realistic if someone was to suddenly plop into Middle Earth. We have arrived at our next big one. 
> 
> In the works of Tolkien, language plays an important role in characters and cultures. For our purposes, languages that Helen, our main character and the stories main focus, cannot understand will be represented by italics when spoken. This should be pretty obvious intertextually, but I've decided that adding this visual cue would be helpful as well. It adds emphasis on how different those spoken words are and helps to create the feeling of otherness I wanted for Helen to have for a while.
> 
> Enjoy!

March had finally come. She had been in Middle Earth for three months now, three very long, very stressful months. It was finally almost time, and Helen found herself overcome with pent up energy. She had prepared as best she could. She felt fairly confident in her skills with her sword and bow- at least enough to not feel completely reliant upon another for protection. Her gifts for Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli had been finished for a while now. They looked gorgeous; she only hoped they helped her to persuade the company that she should be allowed along.

Now with the time fast approaching, Elladan and Elrohir had been put out that they could not tag along with her and Gandalf. Once they learned of her leaving Rivendell, it had been nearly all they asked her about. Luckily, Elrond had swiftly stepped in and suggested they needed to make a patrol run up to the Rangers in the North to deliver the newly designed bows to the men there. Thus, any struggle she may have had to explain to them why the presence of two Elven Lords would be less than welcome on her journey was thankfully avoided. As it was, even with all of her gifts, she wasn’t entirely sure that _she_ would be allowed to join the journey. After all, she was a woman and- thanks to some higher power’s idea of a good twist- she was now an elf. It would be an interesting meeting to say the least.

For what was likely the 200th time, give or take a few, Helen had checked her bags. She had repacked her gear, with some new additions, at the beginning of March. Much of her gear from her world would not be coming with her on the journey and others she hoped to grab when the company resided for a time in Rivendell before heading into the Misty Mountains. Her scientific survey equipment and other gadgets held no value or use for her now; and though she had been reluctant to throw them out, they had been given to Elrond for him to poke and prod and tinker with. He was thrilled at the chance to discover something new, and she was glad they'd serve some purpose now. The end result of her unpacking and repacking had left a great deal of her saddlebags clear for her to utilize for extra supplies for the journey with the company. She packed many extra water bladders and elvish waybread, and still, she had plenty of room for the packing of some pipeweed, her camera gear, some extra blankets, and other useful goods that she thought they may need or enjoy. A good deal of medical supplies was added as well. She had her First Aid kit from her camping trip still, but now she had a new kit with items that Elladan and Elrohir had taught her to use. She knew that Oin would be the medic of the group, but her new Elven nature allowed her some skill with Athelas, among other such little known herbs. She was still not the best at using the skill, but she felt that at least having such items may be a good idea at some point. If nothing else, she'd slap one of her novelty Bandaid's on them and get a good laugh from it. The thought of a gang of fierce dwarves running around with little neon colored, lip-shaped Band-Aids had her wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. She also stubbornly held onto her coffee supplies. Even if she’d be forced to drink it black and with only honey as a hope of sweetener, she refused to set out without it. While her goal was not to disclose that she was from another world for as long as she could, her portable stove and fuel were too valuable on a journey to leave. She’d blame elven engineering if she had to.

On March 15th, the same day that Gandalf would be meeting Thorin in the Prancing Pony, she was called into the library with Glorfindel and the twins in attendance. She greeted each warmly before turning to Lord Elrond seated at his desk, “I hope I didn’t keep you all waiting for too long.”

“Not at all, we’ve been addressing the last minute details of Elladan and Elrohir’s patrol to the North. I thought you’d like to see them off since you’ll be traveling soon as well,” Elrond explained.

Elrohir smiled warmly, placing his hands upon her shoulders, “You should know we’ve all become rather fond of you. You have quickly become one of our dearest friends.”

She gave her best –albeit- wobbly smile, “That means the world to me, truly. I can assure you both that you have most definitely become the best of friends to me.” So radiant were their smiles that it took her a moment to snap out of her awe and realize that they had pulled her in for a three-way hug. She laughed, squeezing them around the middle right back, “Promise me you will do your best to stay safe.”

“We promise,” they chorused.

“And you must promise us the same,” Elladan added.

She grinned, “I promise.” When the pair had finally taken their leave, Glorfindel chuckled giving her shoulder a squeeze as she tried to subtly stop her eyes from watering, “Oh hush, I swear I was never this emotional before I came to this world. I think the stress is really starting to hit me. It's really all about to begin, isn't it?" she mused more to herself than anything.

Glorfindel reassured her smiling fondly as she tried to get a handle on her emotions, “Worry not. I find your empathy to be a treasure. The care you feel for others and their wellbeing is a strength not a weakness, which leads us to something of great importance.”

Elrond took three wrapped parcels from beneath his desk, setting them in a row, “I believe now is as good a time as any.”

Three parcels. Her breath hitched. _Three_. 

Glorfindel grinned, “Well, do you plan on opening them in this age or the next?”

She elbowed his side earning an oomph before approaching the three carefully wrapped items. Reaching out with shaking hands, she hesitated hands hovering over soft leather.

“Go on, dear one,” Elrond encouraged gently. 

Untying the leather laces took several tries for all her shaking, but there they were. Glittering like starlight, the delicate silver links looked as though they would break if she tore at them, but she knew better. Her breath came out in a shaky whoosh, “You’ve found them. All three. You did it!”

“Indeed,” he nodded enjoying the look of pure awe upon her face, “Three were asked for and three you have received.”

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. “I know their worth is unimaginable, but truly lives may be saved because of these.”

“That makes the gifting of them all the more worth it,” Elrond stood moving around the desk to pull her into a comforting hug. He spoke as he brushed his hand upon her hair, “Be easy now, dear one. May they serve the purpose you wished them to and may the Valar be with you each step of the way.”

Her eyes watered once more as she nodded into his chest.

“There is one more thing,” Elrond said after she had calmed, pulling away to glance over her head.

Helen looked to Glorfindel, a questioning look on her face.

From a seat near the fire, he picked up a bundle wrapped in silk and brought it to her. “When I learned of what Lord Elrond was searching for and why he was looking, I realized that I had something that I wished to give you,” he carefully handed her the bundle and she saw that the sign of Glorfindel’s house, that of The Golden Flower, was upon the silk. He motioned her to open it, “I knew at once that it wouldn’t work for what you asked. Its proportions are all wrong for a Dwarf," he grinned, "but for an Elven Lady...”

The silk wrappings fell away and inside was a mithril shirt more lovely than each of the others combined. Its detailing contained a neckline of gold flowers that looked to be embroidered with threads of gold. The workmanship looked as though it could be in a museum back in her world as a display of an Art Nouveau work of art. She knew at once that this was his. Her blue eyes were blown wide in disbelief, “I cannot possibly accept such a gift.”

He merely waved off her concerns before asking if he could help her slip it on over her shirt. “It had to be taken up a bit in some places and altered in others. We don’t share the same shape,” he flushed at her snort at that, “But, I think it will work well enough.” Tugging it down over her raised arms, he stepped back as Elrond stood at his side to get a better look. Both held their chins in thought.

“It is a good fit,” Elrond uttered.

Glorfindel hummed circling her, “Raise your arms,” he ordered in his commander voice. All of their training had her comply instinctually. “Hm,” he hummed again, “Cross your arms. Now behind, hm, hold out your arms and make circles,” seemingly satisfied he came to a stop by Elrond once more, “Yes, I think the fit is quite nice. What do you think, Helen?”

She ran her hands over it reverently, “I think 'quite nice' doesn't begin to come close. It is beyond perfect.”

“Wonderful!” Elrond exclaimed very pleased. It made him feel at ease knowing she’d have such an item to protect her.

“Glorfindel, I’m at a loss of words,” she gazed at the links of the shirt glinting and sparkling in the firelight, “I don’t feel worthy of such a gift. This was yours personally, wasn’t it?”

“Aye,” he nodded, watching her warmly, “It is one of the few things I have in this life that was from my previous one.”

She gasped at that, “From Gondolin? But it sank beneath the ocean! Wh-How?” She ran a hand over her face, “How can I be expected to accept such a thing now?”

Glorfindel frowned shaking his head. He took her hands in his, giving them a squeeze, “I did not say that to make you feel worse. I told you it so that you’d understand why I was giving it to you.”

Now she was truly confused, “And why is that?” She noticed Elrond moving to his desk, back facing them to give them privacy.

“This is one of my most cherished possessions, and it seemed most fitting to give to someone I cherish even more fiercely,” he explained.

She blinked, cheeks feeling warmer.

“I know we had a rocky start of things,” he smiled, “But through your time here, you’ve given me the greatest gift of all. Before you came here, I felt that I had lost my purpose. I was sent back because there was something more I was supposed to do here in Middle Earth, but through the long years, I felt like I would never discover what my task was supposed to be. I felt useless and idle and had grown bored and solemn. My very joy was fading away. It was you who showed me what my purpose was. You, a child of man from a world not our own, who fell into our world and our troubles rather suddenly, you reminded me of the greatest purpose of all.” His smile turned blinding as he spoke, “It was your love of life and all those in it. Your belief that every life is worth saving. You’ve ignited a need in me to see to it that this world is a better place for future generations.” He chuckled happily, “Really this small gift is nothing compared to that. You’ve given my life meaning again, after ages of wandering through it aimlessly. So, thank you, Helen. From the bottom of my heart."

She opened her mouth to speak but she was too overwhelmed. Her eyes were watering and her chin quivering when he tugged her into his chest. His expression became softer as he looked at her with fondness, gently smoothing her hair with a hand. "I hope you are alright with me saying that you’ve truly become like family to me." He took something from his pocket, holding it in his palm for her to see, "It does well in this world to have a family name or house backing you. Since I have no other and because you are dear to me, I’d be honored if you’d wear the symbol of my family while you remain in this world, for however long that may be."

She was at a loss of words. In his palm was a beautiful golden broach. It had ivy and leaves twisting and twining together, and at the center was a beautiful seven petaled golden flower and a tiny purple gem in the center.

He smiled when she rose a hand to brush over it slightly, "I’d be honored to have the right to claim you as kin. If I had ever been blessed with a sister, I would’ve hoped she’d be like you.”

Her battle was lost. Tears spilled over her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him fiercely, “You are a wonderful person. It is I that should be feeling honored, and I am. I am honored at such a gift and at such an offer. I am honored to have met you and to be able to call you a friend. You’ve done so much for me during my time here in Middle Earth. You’ve even shared my greatest burden and been there when I would’ve crumbled under its weight. You are the closest thing to family I've had since Charlotte in my world. I’ve come to love you as though you were a brother, Glorfindel; and, I’d be honored to be able to claim The House of the Golden Flower as my own.”

She pretended she didn’t notice the slight shaking of his arms as he returned her hug with equal vigor. Just as she pretended not to feel the few wet droplets that fell atop her head. Waiting until he pulled away she gave him one more smile before glancing to Elrond. He had turned back around and looked equally as emotional as she spoke, “I love all of you so very much. Knowing each of you has been the greatest gifts that anyone could ever hope to receive. Honestly, I will miss you all terribly.”

“Dear one, the feeling is very mutual. I promise you,” the Lord of Rivendell smiled a watery smile, “I hope you know you always will have a home here. Your room will forever be kept waiting for you.” With that, it was quickly decided that a bottle of fine wine was in order.

* * *

 

A week later, exactly, Gandalf arrived once more in Rivendell. The following day saw that Helen had saddled her golden mare, loaded her saddlebags, and stood at the last bridge of Last Homely House. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d ever step foot back in the valley after the journey was done. She knew that there was a chance she’d never make it back with the company. After all, the road ahead was riddled with dangers.

Lou sat wagging his tail happily by her feet as she faced Elrond and Glorfindel for the last time before her journey began. Both embraced her and gave their blessings, “May the light of the Valar guide you always.” 

Glorfindel had held on a tad longer, “Be safe, my heart-sister.”

“I promise to do my best,” she replied. As he released her, she faced Lord Elrond once again, “I wanted to give you something for safe keeping,” she held out a wrapped bundle to his surprise. “You must promise me to keep them locked away where no one will ever find them except for yourself and Glorfindel. Not even Elladan and Elrohir must know of their existence. Glorfindel has confirmed that they cannot be read, but should anyone decipher them and they fell into the wrong hands…”

At Glorfindel’s grim look, Elrond accepted the parcel, “What are they, dear one?” he asked curiously.

“Four very important books,” she said watching as his eyes alit with understanding.

He spoke gravely, “I will keep them safe.”

She nodded, “But I must ask for one more promise.”

“Of course,” he said.

“If you should decipher it- no matter what you may read in these books, no matter how much you may wish to protect someone, you must not try to change the future of those who do not die in battle or because of the war,” she urged.

Elrond asked confused, “If they do not die by such means, why would I be tempted?”

She placed her hands over his on the parcel, “You must promise me this. Even if it is out of love, good comes of it. Good and love and a future that is brighter. Can you give me your word?”

It was then as Elrond looked into her eyes that he understood. There had been a growing feeling in his heart that one of his children would part from him. It was with understanding but the pain of a father that he nodded, “I give you my word. I shall not try to read these texts nor decipher the language within. Nor will I seek Glorfindel out for the knowledge. If I am meant to know, I trust that I will find out when I am meant to. Even Elven Lords can be tempted if the prompting is right.”

She smiled feeling relief, “Thank you. I promise it really is a happy ending, even if some is bittersweet.”

He smiled in return though he studied her curiously, “Thank you, dear one. I do hope that you aren’t planning on not coming back for these.”

Her smile turned brittle as she pulled back, giving away the uncertainty of her situation, “The road will have its perils, but I aim to come back sooner than you think.”

Glorfindel stepped forward fussing over how her cloak was fastened and adjusting the golden flower pin upon it, “Now it is your turn to extend a promise unto us, heart-sister.”

She laughed as he fused over her like a mother hen, Elrond watching with a fond smile. “Alright, let’s hear it then,” she said.

He took on a firm look as though scalding a younger sibling, “You must promise to return once your journey is done. You must promise to be safe and whole and not do anything too rash.”

She softened at the genuine worry swimming in his eyes. Looking at them both, she could see the affection they held for her, “I promise I will do my best.” Seeing them looked pleased, she gave a flourished curtsy, earning chuckles, and mounted Aurora at last. With a final wave, she followed Gandalf, who rode Shadowfax. Calling over her shoulder, she grinned, “See you soon. And, perhaps, patrols should be extended on the plains of the Trollshaws. Wouldn’t want anything pesky roaming about!”

Glorfindel had stiffened at that, but she was already turning forward in her saddle. She caught the amused glance of Gandalf and shrugged sheepishly, “What? No harm in giving a gentle nudge.”

Gandalf chuckled, “You are at risk of sounding Wizard-like. I fear.”

She snorted, “Valar forbid. Though I can think of a great deal worse things to sound like than one of the first beings to have been created. Tell me, do you still have your singing voice in this form?”

Gandalf stammered and huffed, thoroughly flustered to her delight. At her giggles, he found he could not frown for her humor was contagious, “Upon my word, all this time with the twins and Glorfindel as done you an injustice. No, I change my previous statement. You are more at risk of becoming like one of them. I will have to be more mindful of your teasings. In the future, I dare say you shall not catch me unguarded again.”

Her laughter made the wizard’s heart feel lighter for their journey. For surely, if one who knew what was to come could be so carefree in these moments, then things would turn out for the best. He had to have faith in her. Faith that the Valar knew what they were doing when they drug her into this world. And faith that such joy would not be destroyed by the end of it.

* * *

They had been able to take their time, with the exception of the Trollshaws, which Helen had urged them through rather nervously. Thus, it was at the end of the first week of April that they made it to the lands of the Shire. There they got rooms at an Inn in the Tookland region just down the way from Hobbiton. Gandalf had ushered her into her room and forbade her from socializing, much to her chagrin. She was able to keep Lou hidden within the cloak Elrond gifted her, so she had some company while Gandalf was off hunting down a certain hobbit. She had quickly gone bored in the cramped room and found herself missing her friends in Rivendell. She tried to find idle ways to keep entertained, but mostly resulted to pacing. She was sick to death of all the waiting.

In the meantime, Gandalf had wondered around trying to track down a certain Hobbit, always seeming to just miss him. Finally, in the last week of April, Gandalf showed up with a pleased look, “I have found our burglar.”

She grinned from where she was hanging upside-down from the side of the bed, “I knew you would.”

He chuckled, pulling out his pipe, “Yes, I suppose you did.”

“So, tomorrow night is it, huh?” she muttered struggling to sit upright from how she had been dangling.

“Indeed, the Dwarves will hopefully arrive first, and us last,” he confirmed before eyeing her, “What is the matter, child?”

With a great huff, she finally righted herself. “I’m afraid the fact that I am an Elf will be a big problem,” she admitted nervously.

Gandalf puffed several times on his long pipe, “We must place our faith in fate. Fate brought you here. Fate guided your instincts to travel on this journey. Fate gave you the gift of the Eldar, the life of the firstborn, and the ability to understand those whom you encountered upon arriving in Middle Earth. We must have faith that the Valar will guide you where you are meant to go now that you are here.”

 “You know. Before this,” she explained, “this world, I was not religious, though I was spiritual. I followed a set of teachings called Buddhism as a general philosophy on life; its core is all about the respect of life and not holding value in the material. But I was a scientist first and foremost. A logical thinker. I like evidence and facts and things that can be tested, and in a world where there is no magic, it left me with no answers for the realm of religion. I maintained a curiosity, but never could I point at any one belief and say, ‘Yes, that one. I think that one is the answer to all.’ In my world there are many religions and many gods and teachings and such, but none were every truly mine. I was never even sure any higher power existed at all.”

“And now?” Gandalf asked curiously.

“Now,” she shrugged, “Now I am a human woman, plucked from her world and thrown into a parallel one or an alternate one or some such. Now things and beings and stories I was raised on as fantasy are in front of me, are all around me,” she looked around the room at all the Hobbit-size furnishing, “They are living and breathing and alive. My very species has miraculously changed into that of an Elf. And I find that I can truly say that there must be some higher power at work here for what other possible explanation is there?”

Gandalf hummed at that, his gaze gentle and supportive as he watched her let out a long breath, “What other indeed?” 

The following night, Gandalf lead the way down the road to Hobbiton. From a distance, he pointed out a higher hill and before he spoke she just knew.

“Bag End,” she said breathlessly. It had truly begun.

“I think it best you wait unseen somewhere you have view of the place,” he explained pointing to a grove of trees nearby. It gave a perfect view of the front of Bag End's hill.

She agreed readily, knowing that if she was spotted by a Dwarf too soon that it may truly cause trouble. So she led Aurora into the trees with Lou at her side. She watched Gandalf’s tall figure move through the streets, searching for stray dwarves no doubt. The evening had grown later before she spotted more movement upon the roads. From her vantage point, Helen watched as one Dwarf made his way up the path to the door.

She grinned to herself, “Dwalin.” A short while later, another came, “Balin.” Later still, a pair appeared and she nearly vibrated in increasing excitement, “Fíli and Kíli.” It was rather quickly there after that she saw a large grouping of them lead by Gandalf. Her breath caught in her throat. There in that group was Thorin Oakenshield.

She waited until she saw the light of the door opening before she made her way to the hill. She left Aurora at the Green Dragon Inn stables beside Shadowfax, and with Lou, made her way up the paths to Bag End. She couldn’t wait to see what everyone looked like. So far each character-come-to-life she had met in Middle Earth was similar to their portrayals, with differences to be sure, but very like them to where she could guess who was who most of the time. She had been able to guess who she was speaking with rather easily so far, and with so many waiting to be met, she hoped to have the same such advantage.

Nearing the round green door, she heard a great deal of voices, singing, and laughter. She just knew that the dwarves were making a mess of poor Bilbo’s house. Lou was standing guard behind her, watching the road, and she knew she had no other reason to stall. Butterflies erupted in her stomach as she reached out to knock on the green door, her hand pausing just over it, when the door opened rather suddenly.

Gandalf’s twinkling eyes gave her a smile at her startled squeak, “Still startle easy I see, glad that that hasn’t changed in your time in Rivendell.”

She huffed annoyed, always hating to be frightened, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a sadist, Gandalf.”

He chuckled gesturing her in, “You may set your pack there if you like.” He pointed along the entry way wall where the floor was piled high with various belongings.

She shuffled, “Alright, but there are some items in here that I wished to gift. They may be needed should, um…things go poorly.”

He chuckled, “You brought gifts for the Line of Durin. You are wiser than I thought.”

She flushed about to explain herself when a small figure approached looking flustered and beyond done with everything happening. As he ranted to Gandalf, she realized with a great deal of horror that she couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying. She felt a pang of loss that she couldn’t. She always loved how Bilbo spoke in the books and felt sad to miss it now in person. Any warm feelings at meeting _the_ Bilbo Baggins, who looked almost exactly like Martin Freeman’s portrayal and even more adorable if possible, was swallowed up by her growing sense of dread.

Gandalf seemed to reassure him as an apple came rolling down the hall to stop at Helen’s booted feet. She picked it up brushing it off on her shirt. The startled sound that came out of Bilbo as he finally realized her presence had made her jump as well. She offered him a sheepish smile and a wave, "Sorry to frighten you," earning another startled squeak and a flush to take over him from his neck up.

Gandalf tsked at her before speaking in what was likely the common tongue.

She frowned shaking her head before answering in Elvish, “Gandalf, I cannot understand that language. It’s the common tongue isn’t it? How on earth am I to do this if I can’t even talk to them?”

Gandalf patted her arm, “Do not fret, child, I will translate for you.”

She nodded solemnly before extending the apple to Bilbo, “I believe this is yours.”

At her words and Gandalf’s translation, Bilbo’s eyes glimmered and he asked something of her.

She furrowed her brows and looked to Gandalf. He spoke to Bilbo who looked at her disappointedly. “What did he say?” she asked.

“He asked if you were an Elf,” Gandalf said, “I told him you were but that you couldn’t speak the common tongue. He was disappointed to hear that you wouldn’t be able to answer his many questions about the Fair folk.”

She gave Bilbo a sad smile and a light bow, “Could you tell him that I’d like nothing more than to talk with him, if only I could.”

Gandalf relayed the message which seemed to flatter Bilbo a great deal as he then kindly welcomed her into his home. She set her pack down as he suggested and handed him her cloak when he asked, grinning while taking in all the many cloaks hung on pegs already. She fastened Glorfindel's pin to her shirt as Bilbo chattered away while putting up her things. Even though she couldn’t understand it, she listened with a smile watching him prattle on. Her eyes flicked down the hall as she spotted dishes flying through the air.

The dwarves had begun tossing plates and cups and spoons through the air, singing as they went about cleaning Bilbo’s house. She took in the sight before her with all the giddy wonder and excitement of any true fan of Tolkien. She bounced on the balls of her feet as she watched them laugh and cheering and having a royally good time (even if they were just about the messiest bunch she had ever witnessed eating- or cleaning for that matter). Bilbo turned to see what had her attention and become even more flustered. With a gasp, he scrambled around trying to get them to be careful, huffing, groaning, and frowning deeply all the while.

Gandalf patted her shoulder, chuckling at her expression of pure joy. She tapped her foot and bobbed her head along with their tune, not able to understand their words, but knowing the lyrics by heart. Bilbo sent her a kind smile as he scurried passed. The proper Hobbit that he was took delight in a guest’s enjoyment, especially one who wasn’t taking part in destroying his house.

As the song ended, Helen giggled at Bilbo’s look of bewilderment upon seeing how spotless everything was. Unfortunately, her giggles caught the attention others. Silence descended as 13 sets of Dwarven eyes fixated upon her.

She shuffled her feet, letting out an awkward cough. Her eyes swept over the group before giving a lame wave of her hand, “Uh, Hi.”

A Dwarf with salt and pepper hair and very blue eyes pushed his way through the group, coming to stand before her with a scowl. His heavy stomping boots and abrupt movement made her raise her hands in a display of surrender as his deep tone boomed out through the silence. He was also tall. Way taller than she expected. His calculating glare was eye-to-eye with her as he spoke in a harsh tone looking expectantly at her.

Her eyes flicked to Gandalf pleadingly. She had no idea what he was saying but it wasn’t entirely kind though she didn’t feel threatened just yet. The company was very obviously agitated with her presence.

Bilbo said something which caused a ripple of murmuring through the group, though some tension eased. Gandalf began to speak as well.

Whatever he said made Thorin eye her with stern curiosity. It was obvious that he wasn't buying whatever reason Gandalf gave for her presence.

Nervously, she tucked her hair behind her ears.

_Big_ mistake.

The whole company erupted into shouting. Thorin all but jumped back from her as though she had the plague. Another harsher sounding language lit up through the group. “ ** _Dekhel_**.” She caught. “ ** _Kurn_**.” “ ** _Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul_**.” They were yelling over each other and at Gandalf. Some eyed her while making gestures of hitting their fists, which she felt basically translated to “Let’s kick her Elven butt.” All chaos had erupted. 

Through the insanity, she found some relief at the realization that she could guess who was who rather well. The relief was lessened a great deal, however, by the fact they were all snarling a great deal in her direction. The heirs she spotted, though she wasn’t entirely sure which was which since they were both blonde as Tolkien described, took turns yelling out comments and then eyeing her curiously. Though both blonde, one was fairer and the other a dark blonde. The fairer had blue eyes and moustache braids that kind of made her think Fíli. The other had dark eyes and a slightly shorter beard than his brother, which made her think of Kíli. Both had full beards, though much shorter than the others. Both were as attractive as you’d expect after seeing the films, if anything, their longer beards added to their rugged attractiveness. The likenesses and differences didn’t stop with the heirs.

Dwalin was just as hulking as she expected because of the fim. His persona had been so large compared to the barely there description of the book that she wasn't surprised to find him as such. His hair was less brown and more dark silver, which in the lighting gave it a blueish tint like Tolkien described. However, he was very pissed and she was absolutely not alright with how he was eyeing her, because he definitely looked like he could kick some serious ass. Honestly, how could Tolkien not find Dwarven tattoos as something to mention? It was very intimidating to say the least.

Gloin was one of the firsts she recognized at a glimpse. His red hair had made her think of Gimli right away. Unfortunately, he was raving something and getting cheers of agreement from majority of them. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.

Thorin was just as majestic as she had hoped. The anger flashing in his very blue eyes only added to that effect. Too bad her inner fangirl was currently hiding. He was much grayer in hair color than the movies, which was to be expected from the books. You could tell his hair had been dark, likely black, but it was now silver with flecks of black sprinkled through. His beard was long over his chest and darker at its roots before fading out to silver. It had gold and silver clasps within. She was surprised again to see how much he did favor the actor; all she could say was that Richard Armitage would likely age very well. Silver fox could absolutely be applied, even as a dwarf.

The others looked so similar to the portrayals that she had little issue guessing who they were and more issue trying to spot differences, which mostly ended up being superficial things. She wanted to be able to really look at them, to see their intriguing beard braids and clasps and the designs on their clothing, but the more she studied them, the angrier it made them. It seemed they were taking offense to her lingering gazes and not being even close to flattered at how awe struck she was. One glance at an alarmed Bilbo looking frantically between the dwarves and her made it clear that their words weren't speaking of making friends.

Eyes big, she looked to Gandalf seeing him pinch the bridge of his nose. Finally when several seemed ready forcefully remove her from the house, Gandalf stood to his full height, as best he could in a hobbit home, seemingly filling the space with his presence. A creaking and groaning went through the house. The lights flickered as the heaviness of great power poured out from his being. In a great booming voice, he spoke and everyone in the room, shrunk back. Bilbo opted to just sit right where he was on the floor, pale faced and shaking.

Gandalf looked to Helen who looked absolutely crushed and was shaking from adrenaline herself, “Calm down, child. They will not harm you.”

She swallowed finally lowering her hands slowly, “Are you positive about that? Cause I’m pretty positive one of the heirs of Durin was about to send that knife right at my face.”

Gandalf turned to the brother in question, clearly unamused, and barked out something, making the fairest haired Dwarf drop the knife to the ground immediately. Thorin looked pleased by his willingness to take action, only offering a shrug when Gandalf's sharp gaze moved to his smug one. The heir in question sent her a scowl, but at least she knew who he was: Fíli, the fairer haired and blue-eyed brother. Just as she’d guessed.

Her shoulders sagged as she looked at them each one-by-one, their eyes blazing with anger. She looked away finally letting her arms drop to her sides, “There is nothing quite like being rejected by people who you viewed as heroes to make you feel incredibly small.”

Thorin snarled a remark towards her before looking to Gandalf expectantly. No doubt, he had asked what she had said. When Gandalf repeated it, some of the looks turned dubious and skeptical.

Thorin spoke with a frown, distaste blazing in his eyes.

Gandalf sighed.

“I didn’t actually intend for that to be repeated," she said grimly, "Well, what did he say? Don’t spare my feelings just because I can’t understand them.”

“He doubts that an Elf could see past their high opinions of themselves to see anything in Dwarves. He said you have no business being at this secret meeting and that Elves will not see a coin of Erebor’s treasures while he is still breathing,” Gandalf explained, “I am going to suggest we move this to somewhere more comfortable.”

She nodded. She tried to look as unthreatening as possible as twelve very upset and distrusting dwarves passed by her into the sitting room. Thorin was last, making thirteen, eyeing her up for a threat before striding past her. Their shared heights made receiving his scowl eye-to-eye even more intimidating.

Taking a deep breath, she readied herself before following them into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter stage right: the Dwarves!
> 
> I know, I know. They were hardly in there, but the next chunk of text cannot be broken up.
> 
> So, Helen has met Thorin and Co. Needless to say, it didn't go as she planned. For starters, she can't understand common tongue, which is well... I'm sure we all felt how she did. It sucks. She hates it and it certainly isn't helping her seem more trustworthy to Thorin and the gang. And she just had to flash an ear before Gandalf had disclosed that she was an elf. Doubly goodie.
> 
> I hope you guys liked how I've described them all visually. I wanted to try and blend the film representations with Tolkien's vague descriptions. You all probably noticed Fili and Kili's appearances the most. Kili is blonde in the books. He also has a beard, although I've stuck with them having short beards, think hot viking dude beards. Lets face it they are the hot dwarves no matter what. I wanted Kili to stand apart from Fili somewhat, so while Fili's hair is golden blonde, Kili is a dark-dirty blonde, ie still the darker Durin.
> 
> Thorin has been aged up a bit, though because of how Dwarves are described to age, he looks pretty much exactly like Richard Armitage, but his hair is definitely salt and pepper with his beard being more on the white side of the combo. His beard is also long. He is King of the Longbeards. While I thought Peter Jackson's idea that Thorin would keep his beard short in solidarity with those who lost their beards due to Smaug's fire was a neat idea, that was a long ass time ago by the time the Hobbit takes place. I've decided that since he is going to retake Erebor and claim his seat as King, the beard is back in all its braided and adored glory. He is Thorin. He needs a badass beard. So just picture the most majestic ass beard you can with gold and silver (possibly mithril) clasps and a braided masterpiece and you've pretty much got it. 
> 
> Pictures!  
> Thorin: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=228460439  
> Fili: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=228460654  
> Kili: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=228462554  
> Helen's gear and outfit: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=228472169


	11. Hashing It Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder!
> 
> Spoken dialogue that Helen can understand is actually Elvish. When someone says something and it is in italics, then it is being said in the Common Tongue, which is a language that she cannot understand yet.
> 
> Regular text = Helen can understand  
> Italics = she can't
> 
> Ok, let's do this.
> 
>  
> 
> Oh! And Happy Hobbit Day! It's Bilbo and Frodo's birthdays today! So go on an adventure or just eat all the things! XD

Once Helen had found a place to sit- the window bench nearest to Gandalf’s chair- Thorin immediately unleashed a great deal of words. Though what exactly he was saying was lost on her, they were all of them heated and she’d always had a pretty active imagination. She had little issue filling in what they could be. His blue eyes flashed with a long burning fire and his voice boomed in authority. His words seemed to ignite fires in the eyes of his kin, and she had little doubt he was speaking of all the reasons the wandering dwarves of Erebor had to not want an elf around. She felt the impact of each passionate sentence even without understanding them.

His speech went on for longer than she expected. She remembered that it was something he was described as being prone to do, and she had to fight to keep a grin from her face because of it. It would do very poorly to smile while they were so agitated, and she could hardly expect him to appreciate that she found him being so alike his description as endearing. An elf calling a dwarven king endearing would most definitely not end well.

At the end of his long speech, the chorus of cheers and stomping of boots filled the study as the company rallied behind his, not doubt, inspiring, for a dwarf at least. She was less inspired, and the ruckus had snapped Helen back to the present rather harshly. Cursing herself for her nasty habit of drifting off, she looked to Gandalf to get a feel for how well things were going so far. If Gandalf’s pinched face was anything to go by, it wasn’t looking good.

“You can summarize that one,” she said hoping to lighten his agitation a hair.

Gandalf’s brow twitched as he fought a grin, “Very well. I believe you will have gotten the just of what he had to say from his tone alone. He spoke of his personal grievances with elves and of their betrayal when the dwarves most needed their aide.”

She frowned nodding, “I figured it was likely along those lines. Thranduil’s refusal to help them when Smaug attacked has condemned all elves in the eyes of Durin’s Folk.” The dwarves watched her as she spoke and at any name they knew their frowns grew deeper. “Surely, they must know that not all elves can be held accountable for the actions of one. Just as one dwarf cannot be held accountable for any actions a single individual makes.”

“I’m afraid Thorin cares little for such thoughts. He only knows his distrust for Elven folk. A dwarf is as stubborn in his hold on grudges as he is with his hold on gold. He thinks you are here to gain something,” Gandalf explained dourly.

“Of course I’m here to gain something!” She exclaimed exasperated, “An ending to the damn book that doesn’t end up with Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli dead!”

At their names, the brothers perked up curiously. Kíli seemingly weirded out by her knowing his name, since it had not been mentioned. They eyed her wearily.

“I’m afraid your wish to keep the truth of your origins for a later date may not be wise. I fear they may consider it as a lie by omission,” Gandalf said with grim expression.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, “Whatever. Why not. I don’t see how this can go much worse. Why not add a witch hunt to the mix?” She stood from her window seat and set to pacing before it, “They distrust me now. If you think it is the only hope we have, then I trust you.”

Gandalf patted her arm as she paced by. He knew she was snappy from agitation about the situation. He could hardly hold it against her. Being thrust into a world and not being able to plea your own case would try the patience of anyone.

Thorin watched her pacing with distrustful eyes; he could see that the wizard held care for the she-elf, but he did not agree to invite another member. This quest was his own, his and his kin. He did not appreciate the wizard going behind his back in such a way. He looked to Gandalf and demanded he be told what she had said.

Gandalf translated thusly, “ _The Lady Helen is not here for any gain of material goods, Master Dwarf. The knowledge has fallen upon her lap, and it is that knowledge which makes her a matter of importance to you. She knows how this journey unfolds. It is the end of the journey that has led to her wishing to join you on your task_.”

“ _What ending our journey has is of no concern to the likes of an elf_ ,” Thorin spoke, earning nods and grunts of agreement from most of the company.

Gandalf stated, “ _It may matter little to you to learn of the burden she has been made to carry. It is a fate I would not wish on any, yet this small woman did not run from her gift. She had every opportunity to stay out of harm’s way, but she chose the lives of others over her own. It is an ending she has committed herself and her life to stopping. Knowledge of things to come is not something easy to bear._ ”

“ _What she wishes is to stop the return of the Dwarves of Erebor unto the Lonely Mountain_ ,” Thorin stated.

Balin, however, spoke up now, “ _She has the gift of foresight?_ ”

Gandalf answered the elder wiser dwarf, thinking he the one likely to see reason, “ _She knows what will come to pass in great detail for the next many years until the passing of this age and into the next._ ”

“ _How do we know this is true? How do we know this is not some ploy to gain the treasure of Erebor for the Elves? You would have us take her word for it? The word of an Elf?_ ” Dwalin growled out in reply.

“ _My word is so is not cause enough?_ ” Gandalf’s voice had grown in volume, the lights flickering slightly.

Not wanting to anger the wizard and lose his help on the quest, Thorin spoke, “ _Your word is good. And if you say it, then it is so.”_ Thorin was a good spokesmen and a natural born leader, and with great diplomacy, he added, _“We are a doubtful folk and merely ask if there is any proof to set our minds at ease._ ”

Gandalf hummed annoyed but considering the validity of the request. It was true, after all, that even Elrond’s meeting had been offered proof. He took a moment to translate what had been said to Helen.

“You were right. You’re going to have to tell them it all,” she said after being told what had been said, “It is the only thing I can think of that may convince them. And, it is the truth. If I’m going to ask that they trust me enough to allow me to go with them, I’m going to have to trust them enough to tell them who I am.”

Gandalf saw the resolve in her eyes. Her mind had been made up. He nodded, “Very well,” and so, he turned to Thorin and began.

* * *

She knew not how he told her story, only that it was being told. She had turned to watch the night sky through the window, but the reactions and tones of those behind her let her know that it was being received with shock and disbelief. She pulled her knees up under her chin and drowned out the voices behind her. There was little else to be done about it. Either they would believe her story or they wouldn’t.

While waiting, thoughts of the journey filled her mind. She had been excited to meet them and they had not let her down. She knew her being an elf would cause issues. What she hadn’t accounted for is just how stubbornly they’d refuse to change their opinion. It was frustrating but she accepted it. Dwarves were secretive and rarely known to interact with other races if they could avoid it. They kept their true names secret, their language secret, their culture secret… There was little surprise they’d meet an outsider with resistance, especially one that was an elf.

Instead of dwelling on what she couldn't change, her thoughts played over her knowledge of the books and the movies. She found herself thinking about the members of the company. Tolkien had been surprisingly vague about the individual personalities of most of the dwarves, so most of the personalities she had in mind were of their screen portrayals.

Bifor had a bit of a twinkle to his eyes that hinted at playfulness, just as she expected. Ori was bashful in comparison to his comrades but he was also the most observant, the people watcher of the group. Thorin was had the same noble looking profile Armitage gave him on screen and the same eyes, lovely and heavy with the burdens of his people.

Kíli seemed to be the first to smile out of the group. His dark blonde hair was less adorned than the others, as though he couldn’t be bothered, but the clasp he did have was beautifully decorated. His smile split his face in just the way she imagined and he was very obviously very dear to his older brother.

Fíli was more serious compared to his brother. He focused on the matter at hand more, though his attention could be swayed by a remark from his younger brother. The fondness in his expression when Kíli said something silly left little doubt that he was every bit the protective and doting older brother. Witnessing the bond they shared was bittersweet with the knowledge of their fate. The weight of her task began to settle back down on her shoulders, and she forced her mind passed that to instead look back over the group.

More so than any, she was startled at their heights. In the film, the heights were different in comparison to Tolkien’s descriptions. It had been jarring to learn that she stood just as tall as Thorin at 5’2”. Dwalin was next closest in height, shying away by maybe an inch. Then Kíli who was very nearly the same as Dwalin. Though he seemed shorter that could’ve been because Dwalin was so strong and large in build over all. Fíli was next at what was most likely between 4’11 and 5’, the top of his head coming at about eye level on her. The rest were shorter in various heights in the 4 foot ranges.

She had been on the petite range of the scale for a human woman in her world, but she still had assumed she’d be a great deal taller than she was considering that they were dwarves. Though intimidating when looking an angry dwarf directly in the eyes, she was glad to be closer to their height. It made her feel like less the outsider she was.

As more time had passed and her thoughts drifted from present topics to far off places, she had resulted to humming songs to herself quietly to pass the time when a tap to her shoulder startled her. Gasping, she gave a yelp as she jumped in alarm. Unfortunately, her resumed perch on the window bench was ill-fated and she toppled to the ground in an ungraceful heap.

Snorts and guffaws filled the room. Gandalf looked down at her with more mirth than guilt earning a scowl from the crumpled women on the floor, “Fond of being upside down it seems,” he teased referring to how he found her lounging at the Inn.

She managed to right herself with as much grace as she could muster- ie not much- and stood brushing herself off while grumbling, “I’m going to attach a bell inside your robe so you won’t be able to sneak up anymore.”

Gandalf laughed merrily at that.

She crossed her arms, cheeks flushing, “Now that I’ve ruined any illusions they may have of my having Elven grace, how did it go?”

“It was a long story and I told it from the beginning as I knew it,” Gandalf stated.

“Yes, I noticed it took a very long time,” she pursed her lips, perturbed. Her butt was beyond numb and she was getting antsy sitting still for so long, “Well? Do they want to burn me at the stake for witchcraft?”

Gandalf’s brows rose in alarm, “Good gracious is that how it is done in your world when something unexpected happens?”

She winced, “Unfortunately so in many parts of my world still and on a pretty large scale in its past. Especially so if a woman is involved.”

Gandalf looks very upset with that and patted her shoulder, whether to comfort her or himself from such thoughts she didn’t know for certain, “Good heavens, no, child. You are not in any danger here. My word,” he said as he began to grumble to himself a great deal.

“Well?” she asked pulling his attention once more.

“Hm? Yes, well, I told him your story and he is willing to speak with you now,” upon seeing the way her brow twitched, he patted her once more, “It is an improvement to be sure. He is no longer angry with your presence. I feel he is curious more than anything, but still a good deal untrusting,” he explained.

“Alright then, would you kindly translate once more?” she asked sighing but relieved that some advance had been made at all.

“Indeed, indeed, for we shan’t get far in this without it,” he agreed before nodding to Thorin.

Helen turned to face him, uncrossing her arms as she did in hopes that her body language would say what she couldn’t.

Thorin eyed her curiously as she tried to think of what to start with, “ _You were born a daughter of men in another world?_ ” he asked finally.

Gandalf translated and Helen answered relieved that he had spoken first, “Yes,” she nodded, “I was. I’m 27 years old and up until my weird journey to this world, I was human. These,” she moved her hair behind her ears once more, “are new. I’m not sure if I have anything else of the Eldar as well, though I do seem to have some of their abilities. I have better reflexes and strength. I was able to perfect the use of my bow and learned how to wield a sword to satisfactory degree in just a few months. Such would’ve been impossible as a human in my world in so short a time. I’m rather poor at healing with Athelas compared to elves… or other elves? To be honest, I don’t consider myself an elf. It’s odd to refer to myself as one. I’m not entire sure how to refer to myself honestly,” she stopped realizing she had begun to ramble. She cleared her throat, tucking her hair behind her ears nervously.

The motion caught Thorin’s attention and he eyed her appearance as Gandalf relayed her words. His focus seemed to settle upon her ears, however.

She could see the curiosity in his gaze, so she asked, “Would it be inappropriate for me to offer that he can look at my ears if he wishes to inspect them? I did the same to Glorfindel when I first fell into this world. It helped me realize I wasn’t being fooled.”

“If it was to Elves, I‘d say so. Dwarves have no such etiquette about their ears, though touching at all is a sign of trust. I shall tell him what you said,” Gandalf answered and then spoke to Thorin.

Thorin’s brows rose as he looked to her in surprise. His lips pursed in thought.

She nodded at him that it was alright with her and turned her head offering a better view of a pointed ear.

He hesitated for a moment before his heavy footfalls crossed the room. Though they shared the same height, he seemed a great deal bigger than her.

She eyed him from the corner of her eyes and tilted her head to give him the incentive to poke and prod away. She shut her eyes then expecting a rough inspection. The gentle touch startled her and as he carefully felt and moved the ear about. It began to tickle. She let out a snort of a giggle, shoulders raising in defense from the tickling.

Her snort made him jump slightly and he scowled at her giggling.

She rubbed her ear sheepishly, “I’m sorry. It tickled.”

When Gandalf chuckling, translated, Thorin actually grinned a smidge at her before giving a nod and moving away.

Her ears were real and he informed the others of such. He then asked why she was so short of an Elf.

She huffed, forgetting her goal of polite body language, and crossed her arms, “I’m small but not bizarrely so for a human. Seeing as how I was born such, I’ll try not to take offense to it now.” Gandalf translated and she cheekily added, “Ask why he is so tall for a dwarf.”

Gandalf chuckled shaking his head but did as she asked.

Thorin eyed her and her smug smirk before letting out a sigh, shaking his head as though dealing with a petulant child. Apparently, he found her sense of snarky humor beyond capability for uppity Elven folk.

She grinned at that. Never mind that Elrohir and Elladan had more than enough snark to go around, it seemed she was winning him over at last.

“ _Very well_ ,” Thorin said as Gandalf translated, “ _So, she was not born an Elf. That much I can believe from her speech and how she carries herself._ ” She thanked the Valar she kept her clumsiness in her transformation. “ _Is there any way that it can be proven that she comes from another world and has knowledge of the future?_ ”

She frowned in thought, “I could do the camera trick for them? But I feel that might freak them out a bit. I really don’t want them thinking I’m some sorceress or something,” she said aloud to herself. “Oh! My music!” she exclaimed, heading out of the room with purpose as she went to grab her bag from the entryway. Bringing it back, she plopped the heavy thing on the window seat and rummaged around, “Ah ha!” Pulling her iPhone from the pouch, she turned to Gandalf who was translating and explaining what she was doing. “I am going to play music from my world from this device that is also from my world,” she said as Gandalf translated.

The company looked at the tiny thing doubtful that it could make any music at all.

Smirking, she searched through her music for a song that sounded like nothing that could possibly be produced by anything known in Middle Earth. She spotted one and turned it up full blast, holding it out for them to see the glowing screen. Then she pressed play. “All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” She grinned as everyone jumped as Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne filled the room. It was one of her father’s favorites and she found herself tapping her foot and strumming on her thigh along with the music. She refrained from moving her mouth to the lyrics, less they think it was some spell changing her voice.

As she paused the song after the first few verses, she repeated the lyrics words and explained, “It’s a song about letting the past get into your head. About holding onto negative thoughts and emotions and how that will slowly drive you mad. The instruments used are what we can electric and run off of what is essentially harnessed lightning in a sense. Not exactly but that’s the best way to explain electricity.”

The dwarves were flabbergasted at the sounds they had heard. Some felt it was a great racket and others were curious. All understood that no such thing could be from their world.

As Gandalf translated, she found a second song. “I want to play one more,” she said. The dwarves seemed tensed, but when she pushed play they were enraptured by the sounds as the cast of Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit movie sang a song about dwarven homes over misty mountains and the lost gold to be found there. When it was over, she repeated it in its entirety, as Tolkien wrote it, for Gandalf to understand.

As Gandalf repeated the song in the common tongue, the dwarves seemed shocked that any would know of a song of their people.

When he finished, Helen spoke again, “I know what I know about the future because of the books that taught me that song. That song will be finished by the end of this journey.” She recited the final half of the song that would not be completed until the company had done what it intended to do.

“The wind was on the withered heath,

But in the forest stirred no leaf:

There shadows lay be night or day,

And dark things silent crept beneath.

 

The wind came down from mountains cold,

And like a tide it roared and rolled.

The branches groaned, the forest moaned,

And leaves were laid upon the mould.

 

The wind went on from West to East;

All movement in the forest ceased.

But shrill and harsh across the marsh,

Its whistling voices were released.

 

The grasses hissed, their tassels bent,

The reeds were rattling--on it went.

O'er shaken pool under heavens cool,

Where racing clouds were torn and rent.

 

It passed the Lonely Mountain bare,

And swept above the dragon's lair:

There black and dark lay boulders stark,

And flying smoke was in the air.

 

It left the world and took its flight

Over the wide seas of the night.

The moon set sail upon the gale,

And stars were fanned to leaping light.

 

Under the Mountain dark and tall,

The King has come unto his hall!

His foe is dead, the Worm of Dread,

And ever so his foes shall fall!

 

The sword is sharp, the spear is long,

The arrow swift, the Gate is strong.

The heart is bold that looks on gold;

The dwarves no more shall suffer wrong.

 

The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,

While hammers fell like ringing bells

In places deep, where dark things sleep,

In hollow halls beneath the fells.

 

On silver necklaces they strung

The light of stars, on crowns they hung

The dragon-fire, from twisted wire

The melody of harps they wrung.

 

The mountain throne once more is freed!

O! Wandering folk, the summons heed!

Come haste! Come haste! Across the waste!

The king of friend and kin has need.

 

Now call we over the mountains cold,

'Come back unto the caverns old!'

Here at the gates the king awaits,

His hands are rich with gems and gold.

 

The king has come unto his hall

Under the Mountain dark and tall.

The Wyrm of Dread is slain and dead,

And ever so our foes shall fall!

 

Farewell we call to hearth and hall!

Though wind may blow and rain may fall,

We must away, ere break of day

Far over the wood and mountain tall.

 

To Rivendell, where Elves yet dwell

In glades beneath the misty fell.

Through moor and waste we ride in haste,

And whither then we cannot tell.

 

With foes ahead, behind us dread,

Beneath the sky shall be our bed,

Until at last our toil be passed,

Our journey done, our errand sped.

 

We must away! We must away!

We ride before the break of day!”

 

When she finished, she spoke to Gandalf, “The ending of the song tells the story of the quest and is a message calling for their kin to make haste to the Mountain. A dragon is not the end but the beginning of much worse. I don’t want to stop them from going home. I know what it means to lose the place you call home. I just want them to live to enjoy it afterwards.”

She waited as Gandalf translated the end of the song in the common tongue. There was a great murmuring among the company. Gandalf told her that they were pleased that their mission would be successful and doubtful that the line of Durin would fall.

She shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose, “So far, those books have been exact, even to the entire history of the Elves and the very creation of this world. I know things about peoples and beings I shouldn’t because of these books. I know things about each of you that I shouldn’t.”

At Gandalf’s translation, they demanded she prove that she knew things about them. She sighed, “Alright then, let’s see. Hm, ok, Thorin’s sister and the mother of Fíli and Kíli is named Dis.”

At this there was some surprised and discomfort, as dwarves protected their women fiercely as rare treasures. Still, they were not convinced.

She tapped her foot in annoyance, “Ug, alright, what about the fact that Thorin plays the harp and has a golden one wrapped in cloth outside. Fíli and Kíli play the fiddle. Dori, Ori, and Nori play flutes. Bifur and Bofur play clarinets.  Dwalin and Balin play the violin. And Bombur plays the drums. I’m afraid that nothing is mentioned for Oin and Gloin, so I know not what they play, but since Oin is hard of hearing that fits. Of Gloin, I know that he has a wife and a son, who is named Gimli. He will grow up to be a very strong and brave dwarf and known across Middle Earth and further still. Hm, oh! And I know that they brought instruments with them.” With that she crossed her arms, pleased with herself for figuring out something to say about each.

As Gandalf translated, the company spoke excitedly. Thorin looked at her with a bit of awe mixed with distrust. Gloin seemed the most pleased with what she had to say and boasted that his son would do great deeds. The others took out their instruments and expressed amazement that she knew what they played since no elf had ever met most of them and certainly never seen or heard them play. There was only one way she could know such things, it was decided. She had come from another world and gained knowledge of them and the future from there.

At that, she let out a long breath of relief. “Thank goodness, I was worried they’d hate me forever. I don’t know if I could take that for much longer. They’ve been beloved characters to me for so long,” she chuckled, “and know they are real and standing in front of me.”

Gandalf told them what she said, earning some very pleased utterances. The mood seemed to have been thoroughly turned about. Helen felt it a shame that the ale had all been drank, because she could definitely go for a glass.

* * *

 

With the shifting of the mood, the dwarves had begun to talk as a few strummed their instruments softly, and soon they had broken into song. They sang and played. Reading about dwarves playing music and witnessing it were vastly different experiences. Their deep voices were melodic and their skill with their instruments was great. They had songs that were peppy that urged her to tap her foot along with the tune, and they had songs that were solemn and old that held her captive. Helen found it deeply amusing that Thorin played the harp, which looked so delicate compared to the broad and kingly figure. Large and strong as his hands looked, he played it so beautifully that she could do little more than gawk in amazement. Fíli and Kíli played with their fiddles just as well and had a merry time as they did, ending up in a bit of a duel with the others laughing and cheering them on. She clapped along as they sang and laughed at their antics.

Bilbo too had eased into the room and sat by Gandalf in a chair near the fire, entirely enthralled at the music.  It was as though their deep voices seemed to cast a spell over the room making the listeners feel whatever emotion was represented in their song. At last they came to the song about the Lonely Mountain, the music filled with sorrow and loss and a yearning for a home far away. Their voices filled the room and painting images of grand halls of pillared stone and great treasure halls filled with gems and a people that was proud and prosperous. 

She saw Bilbo stand after the singing had finished. His eyes seemed far off as Thorin spoke to him, giving the poor hobbit a great jolt out of his thoughts. Bilbo half stammered out a response. She felt for him, knowing how overwhelming he likely was.

With the lingering feeling in the air from their song, talk of the quest began. Thorin began to speak at length about their reason for gathering and the great quest that laid before them. The more he talked, Helen noticed that Bilbo became increasingly sickly. She tried to bring it to Gandalf's attention, but he merely patted her hand as he listened to Thorin in rapt attention. It was then that Bilbo released the oddest, high-pitch of an extended squeaking scream that she'd ever heard and likely would ever hear again. Thorin's speech came to a studdering stop as everyone stood up in alarm. It took a moment- and great deal of commotion- for them all to realize where the sound was coming from. With bewilderment and little to no amusement, they looked to at the panicking Hobbit.

When Bilbo collapsed into a trembling heap upon the floor, Helen scoffed at the group and moved to comfort him, "I was trying to tell you all that you were scaring him half to death."

Gandalf gave some light from his staff, "I apologize, my dear."

Her mouth was set in a straight line as she rubbed Bilbo's back, curling him into her side, "He is going into a state of shock. This is all a bit much to throw at someone unexpectedly," she held out her hand, "Toss me that throw blanket, would you?" she spoke to Ori forgetting he couldn't understand. Though he nearly jumped out of his skin when Gandalf translated, so quick he was to scramble to comply. She gave him a small smile in thanks.

Bilbo was mumbling to himself over and over again. When she wrapped the throw around his shoulder and spoke soothingly to him, his shaking lessened though his eyes remained clamped shut. She shook her head, "Where can I bring him? He needs some space and quiet?"

After Gandalf translated, Thorin barked out an order. Oin and Fíli came at once to her side, and taking her place, they carefully guided the traumatized hobbit up to his feet and lead him out the room and down the hall. It was in a proper drawing-room that they laid him out upon a couch. She smiled softly as Fíli made sure the throw blanket was properly tucked around him.

His eyes flicked up catching her witnessing his act of kindness. His cheeks flushed and he abruptly stood leaving the room, giving her a stiff nod as he passed. Her amused expression was seen by Oin who gave her a chuckle as he too passed by. 

Back in the study, Gandalf and company were discussing things once again. This paused only as she passed the wizard to get to her seat at the window once more.

"How is our burglar?" he asked her, eyes twinkle in mild amusement.

"He will be alright after a moment of rest," she replied with some exasperation.

Gandalf, having been pleased at this turned back to the discussion.

* * *

 Some time had passed in this manner before she noticed the discussion seeming to turn to her. She looked curiously at Gandalf, who seemed to have grown agitated. When Thorin spoke to her, or about her next, Gandalf translated.

“ _If she comes on this journey, as she seems to want to do, she will not sign the contract for no share of the gold will go to her. She has no claim over it nor any treasure within Erebor’s Halls_ ,” he stated his face stern.

She rolled her eyes when Gandalf told her, “For the sake of all the Valar and especially Mahal, what will it take to express how little I care for treasure?”

At the translation of such, Thorin had huffed.

Gandalf reminded them the reason she was there, but still they felt as though she was expecting some monetary compensation for her efforts.

Seeing as how the very thought that someone could not care for such things was beyond dwarven understanding, she said to Gandalf, “I think it is time for some of those gifts.”

He agreed dryly, “I think it is wise.” The patience of the wizard for the continuing questioning of Helen's presence was waning thin.

After retrieving the three leather parcels from her bag, she approached Thorin, handing him the first of the bundles wrapped in soft Elvish leather. Then she handed one to Fíli, who took it while meeting her gaze steadily in curiosity. It was she who looked away with pink cheeks this time, meeting the gaze of Kíli who gave her a smirk that she easily returned as he gladly accepted the bundle.

“I hope these show you that I do not want any treasures. My only wish is to stop the loss of your lives and as many others as I can save. Your lives at the end of this would be my treasure and worth more than anything anyone here or beyond could offer me,” she explained. As Gandalf translated, she felt of rush of embarrassment feeling shy at having gotten them- what felt like- presents, which in her world would've been a bit odd to do for strangers. She stared at her boots shyly as they opened the bundles.

Gasps and awe-filled words filled the room. Thorin lifted the shirt in reverence. The dwarves stared at the unwrapped gifts with their jaws dropped. These gifts were fit for royalty, and upon royalty they had been gifted to.

Fíli reached out in awe never before seeing the metal, except for an occasional ring among his kin, “ _Uncle, is this?_ ”

“ _Mithril_ ,” Thorin confirmed breathlessly. His eyes checked the craftsmanship, “ _These are in the Dwarven style, yet clearly done by Elves_.” His eyes moved to Gandalf in question.

Gandalf answered gruffly, “ _Indeed, Master Dwarf. It’s good to see your judge of shiny things is better than your judge of people_.” He was tired of the hassle of winning the stubborn dwarves over, “ _What you see before you are Mithril mail shirts crafted by the same Elf and Dwarf friendship pair who created the Doors of Moria, among other great feats of craftsmanship. It goes to show what can be achieved when Elves and Dwarven folk work together. Though the woman who gifted them did not know of that detail of their origin. She merely requested such items be hunted down across all the known kingdoms, so that she could ensure that you and your heirs would be awarded their protection._ ”

At this, several Dwarfs plopped back into their seats overwhelmed at the great treasures before them. Any lingering irritation at her presence was now fully and well gone. Balin shook his head in wonder, “ _Why would an Elf lass gift such things? Are these not great treasures even to the Elves?_ ”

Thorin asked, “ _Why would people willingly give them to her?_ ”

Gandalf harrumphed before answering, “ _Helen cares a great deal about many things in our world. The lives of those she has not and will not ever meet matter greatly to her. The peoples of this world, who until recently, had only been a dear story to her all matter greatly to her. She cares for Elves and Men and Hobbits. And she cares a very great deal about Dwarves and, specifically, about you all. She has poured all of her energy and time into trying to make your journey safer, requesting help from the Great Balrog Slayer Glorfindel, who was sent back to Middle Earth by the Valar themselves, and of Lord Elrond of Rivendell, for it was in that land that she entered our world. It was the later who she requested help with these items in particular, without telling him why. She spoke not a word_ _of your journey except to urge me to meet up with you, Thorin, and set this all in motion. It was through the affection he grew for the girl that Lord Elrond complied with such a request. Before you lay just three of the gifts she rounded up for you. She greatly worried her wards, who feared her health may suffer  greatly, even fatally, for all the worry and stress she put into trying to change your fates._ ”

“ _Elves cannot die nor do they get sick_ ,” Kíli said, “ _Everyone knows that_.”

Gandalf hummed, “ _For the most part that is true. But of some things they can and a broken heart is one of them_.”

At this, Thorin seemed baffled, “ _Why would such an affliction affect her over our cause? What does she have to lose out of all this?_ ”

“ _Her very heart and soul are bent on changing the future she has seen. I fear should we fail in this she may not recover. The burden of your fates she has made hers to bear. I do not doubt she would feel to blame should she fail to change it. All of this from one who has never met you and has nothing to gain, except perhaps your friendship, for you all are already very dear to her. There is more worth in this world than treasures, Thorin, son of Thrain_ ,” Gandalf scolded, “ _And to her, the greatest treasure of all was at risk_.”

“ _What was it then?_ ”

“ _Yeah, what was it?_ ”

“ _The King’s stone?”_

“ _The Arkenstone then?”_

Gandalf smacked the arm of his chair shutting up the room at once, “ _Confounded Dwarves, No._ ” Gandalf pulled out his pipe needing the relaxation at this point, “ _She has stated as much before already. It was your life, Thorin, and that of Kíli and Fíli. The knowledge of your deaths. And the fear of what would happen if she did nothing_. _That is the whole of it_.” What that, the wizard lit his pipe and refused to utter another word for a good while.

The company of Thorin Oakenshield was left feeling shamed. And Helen, lacking translation of what had happened, feared the worst, and had turned to look out the window fearing that she would fail in joining after all. Arms wrapped around her drawn up knees,  Helen felt lower than she could remember feeling in a very long time. She knew of nothing else she could do. It seemed that they would not accept her or her help, and she was stuck in this world. Stuck to hear as the news came that the Sons of Durin had been slayed. Stuck to live with her failure. She wondered what purpose she was brought to this world. What cruel fate had been thrown at her to know of such things and to have to sit by and watch them happen.

It was clear to her now why Elves seemed to have such stoic and controlled grasps on their emotions. She recalled Elladan and Elrohir's talk about such things. Elves felt so much more than humans did, more deeply. Elrond had explained to her the importance of her controlling her emotions as best she could. In her case, it was the range of the Elves with the multitude of rapid changes from mood to mood that the children of men were capable of, so, it was easier for her to be overwhelmed. She was not used to being very emotional at all,however, for in her world, she had been nearly entirely reversed. Her tendency towards shyness, expect where work was involved, led to her keeping her feelings to herself. It was odd and uncomfortable not being able to keep how she was feeling to herself. She had never been prone to brooding before, she thought moodily as she stared out the window. Though Glorfindel had described her capacity for empathy as admirable, at the moment, it felt like a curse. She felt exposed and it was not pleasant at all.

Footsteps brought her attention back to the present. Seeing the reflection of Gandalf in the glass, she spoke, “I’m sorry I ruined the meeting of the Company. I hope it didn’t scare Bilbo off for good, seeing their anger for my presence and all earlier.”

Gandalf sighed. “If that is the case, Thorin has only himself and his kin to blame.”

She shook her head, “Bilbo has to go. He must. There is no option in that regard.”

Gandalf hummed, “Then he will.”

She blinked up at him, “How do you know?”

He grinned, “Because if it is what the Valar wished then it will be so.”

More footsteps neared and Helen tensed, though seeing the reflections had her turning around. “Fíli and Kíli,” she greeted the pair though her tone showed her glum state, seemingly resolved that she would be dismissed. Her smile was a shadow of those she had given previous.

They gave a perfectly in sync bow to her. Her brows lifted nearly off her forehead at that and she looked to Gandalf flabbergasted.

He spoke to the pair who looked once more at Helen before Fíli said something in return. Helen was caught watching his face move as he spoke, his eyes held a spark in them, his countenance, though slightly sheepish, was solid yet regal. He was handsome, she realized. Prying her eyes away once he noticed her staring, her cheek flushed. His eyes were as blue as Thorin’s and just as striking.

Attempting to avoid the elder’s gaze, she caught the eyes of the younger Durin. His dark eyes too held that spark, but within his there was the glimmer of humor. His mouth seemed to twitch as though he wished to smile even now as he looked at her with furrowed brows. They truly were as easy to adore as their portrayals made them.

As they spoke to Gandalf, her mind drifted until she wasn't really seeing them at all; their faces became fuzzy until images flashed before her eyes as though a movie screen had dropped over her vision. The pair now stood before a fallen figure, snow falling from the sky. Whistling flew past her ears and arrows hit their proud figures, the sound reverberating through her bones. They fell, crumpled over each other, golden hair and blood spilling upon freshly fallen snow. She could feel the cold of the flakes landing on her hair and hear the clash of metal and sounds of battle. Sucking in a breath, she snapped back into the present swaying and feeling queasy. She held her head trying to steady the spinning it had taken to.

Kíli looked completely alarmed, and Fíli looked on worried.

“Helen?” Gandalf asked in concern.

She waved a hand weakly, “I’m fine. I’m fine. Just a headache. No need to worry.”

Fíli, Kíli and Gandalf shared looks of disbelief at her assurances. Elves did not get headaches, but their concerns were waved off with some annoyance.

The memories of what she had read about what was going to happen had been more intense than anything she had before. More livid than any memory from the film. It had been different. It had been…more. She stood wavering slightly.

Fíli lifted a hand as if to help her, but when her eyes moved to his as she noticed his movement, he froze. The look in her eyes rooted him, his hand falling limply at his side. Her eyes were swirling pools of pain and hopelessness.

A cup of something being extended by Kíli snapped the pair out of it. Fíli stepped back a step and Helen ripped her gaze from his. She took the cup from Kíli questioningly.

Kíli spoke with Gandalf translating, “It seems Fíli and Kíli came over with the thought that you may like something to drink.”

She smiled gratefully, her spirits lifting slightly at the thoughtful gesture, “Thank you. That is very kind of you both." Taking a sip, she sighed happily, "This wine is fantastic. This is exactly the kind of drink I needed.”

Gandalf chuckled and told the pair what she said. Both smiled kindly, though Kíli’s smile was adorably big.

“Don’t tell them I said so, but the line of Durin could wield their charm as deadly as their weapons,” she mused, red-faced at the attention of the pair.

Gandalf chuckled before speaking to the pair. They both turned deep red and she glared at Gandalf, “Traitor.”

He laughed heartily, “Don’t blame an old man for enjoying playing the matchmaker.”

She stammered, completely embarrassed.

Fíli cleared his throat, and though unable to meet her eyes, he spoke. Gandalf explained, “They wanted to thank you for your gifts and apologize for thinking ill of you at the beginning. They both agree that no one that yearned for treasure would ever part with items as valuable as the three you gave them tonight.”

She smiled at Fíli, who quickly averted his gaze. His cheeks above his beard looking faintly pink. She looked to Kíli, “I am glad that you like them. I hope you will wear them. Know that I am not questioning your skills, I know how skilled you are.” She turns to Gandalf, “If you must, demand from yourself that they wear them. Just ensure that they do it.”

He nodded and repeated her words, adding that if he was to continue with the company Helen’s wish would be followed to the letter.

Both nodded easily and admitted that they wouldn’t part with them for anything. They said the same of their Uncle and then stated more.

“It would seem that Thorin too extends an apology and thanks,” Gandalf explained, “Furthermore, Thorin has decided that you could sign the contract as well, and be granted a share of the treasures of Erebor.”

She smiled kindly at Fíli and Kíli but shook her head, “I am glad to hear that you all have had such a change of heart about me. I am honored at the offer, but I do not wish for any share of the treasure. In fact, it is very important that I not receive any as each of you will need yours for yourselves and your kin and to rebuild the halls of Erebor after all is finished.”

They stared dumbly at her feeling a bit out of sorts over her insistence that she not have anything for her efforts, her concern for their safety, and at a loss of how to handle the kind and caring she was showing them even in spite of how she had been treated so far. Thorin stood then and neared their little group.

She fidgeted under his gaze, still uneasy.

Though his voice was cordial as he spoke. At the end of it, he gave a small nod of his head as way of a bow.

She looked to Gandalf in question, and he at once explained that Thorin had extended a formal apology and thanks for such precious gifts.

At hearing this, her cheeks flushed and she stared at her feet shyly, “You are most welcome.” She bobbed a wobbly curtsy as the dwarves then rejoined the company.

Gandalf demanded she sit at once. 

She waved him off, even though she did as he asked. Curled up on the window bench again, “I’m fine, Gandalf, really,” she glanced around before flushing again, “Why are they all looking at me like that?” She watched as Thorin and his nephews glanced at her with furrowed brows as they spoke with Balin and Dwalin across the room.

Gandalf looked around before chuckling, “It would seem they are concerned.”

She frowned, “For me? Why?”

He merely shrugged, “Dwarves are a complicated folk, but I would wager that your gifts of Mithril mail had some effect.”

She scoffed, “At least they will serve some use.”

“Oh fear not, I fully plan to threaten abandoning the quest should they refuse to wear them,” his eyes twinkled as he grinned patting her hair, “Though I think your repeated refusal of gold and insistence at caring for their lives and the future of their kin may have some sway in their readiness to oblige your request.” He smiled fondly before moving off to meet up with Bilbo who had made his way back into the room.

And so, from her curled up spot near a large window of Bag End, Helen watched the night unfold. The Dwarves spoke amongst themselves and to Bilbo, content to leave her alone. With the exception of their eyes falling to her every now and again, it was as though they had forgotten her presence entirely. She watched as Bilbo had a fit of bravery. She watched them as they talked over a map and watched as Gandalf gave Thorin the secret key. She couldn’t understand a word of it, but she could feel it in the air. The kinetic energy laid waiting in the air; the excitement and the eagerness for the journey ready to begin. As talk waned down and the group began to drift about, she drifted off to the sounds of a deep voice singing from somewhere in the home. The sounds carrying through to her dreams giving her visions of grand halls of stone and the lonely peak of Erebor restored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hng. That was a feat to write. I only redid about a million times. 
> 
> I finally feel like the chaos and frustration and complication of that situation is translated through the chapter. Having to convince these people who are completely distrusting of you because you look like an elf, that you are here to help them and to make sure they don't die like fate says they will, WHILE not being able to actually talk to them yourself- phew! That would be absolutely a royal pain in the ass. I felt like everyone would get testy throughout the process. It wouldn't be easy for anyone involved and I hope I showed that here. 
> 
> Anyways, next chapter is less angsty. The pace is going to start ramping up. Just like in the books and movie. The beginning is kinda setting the stage for all the craziness to come. We are going to be getting more one on one with the dwarves. The focus is going to be Thorin and Fili and Kili. I just simply can't write in every single dwarf in a really up close and personable way in each chapter. It is just not plausible. Otherwise this would drag out forever. Of course they aren't going to disappear, but just realize that I can't showcase everyone all the time.
> 
> So next chapter- expect Durin heirs and their cuteness, Thorin majesty and Helen making a grand gesture.
> 
> Picture! Cause I'm a dork muffin: https://www.polyvore.com/gifts/set?id=228470837


	12. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While waiting on a burglar...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, italics is Common Tongue and Helen can't understand it. :3

The next morning came too early. Gentle shaking by Gandalf woke her, and she quickly rose. While the company was rousing, she gathered her things and went outside.

Lou, who had slept outside guarding the door, greeting her with tail wagging and excited yips. She gave him a hug and ear scratches before digging for his treats and some jerky in her pack. She’d have to collect something from the market to give him a proper meal, but that would keep him happy until then. Sitting on the steps of Bag End, she waited for the company to be ready to leave.

Thorin was the first outside. Upon seeing the wolfish dog, he immediately placed his hand on the hilt of his sword. She hugged Lou to her side and held out a hand to signal stop.

He did but he eyed the dog in distrust, even as Lou sat tail wagging and tongue lulled out in a happy doggy grin. Thorin’s eyes never left Lou as he passed her on the steps and went down to the road before the house to await the others. One by one the dwarves came out. Each startled at Lou’s appearance and readied to defend themselves, but Thorin had said something to each, making them stay their hands.

Gandalf came out at last and shut the door behind him.

Her brows furrowed, “Bilbo still sleeping?”

Gandalf hummed, “Yes, it seems we wore our Hobbit out. It is quite a good deal for a Hobbit to take in.”

“Off to breakfast then?” she asked.

“Hm, indeed, The Green Dragon, decent meals are to be had there,” he said as he walked down the steps onto the road, leading the way, “It will sate the bellies of our company- making them more pleasant to be around, and hopefully serve the double purpose of giving Bilbo time to join us. I left the contract for him to see along with a letter.”

She grinned wryly, “Upon the mantle?”

Bushy eyebrows rose, “Indeed, he will surely see it there when he dusts.”

“Gandalf,” she said, “with all due respect, I think dusting will be last thing on his mind after such an eventful night.”

He hummed and muttered to himself thoughtfully at that.

* * *

The Green Dragon was perfect. Everything was just as she’d pictured it and she could almost see Pippin and Merry dancing on the tabletop singing a drinking song.

“I’m glad to see that you are in good spirits today,” Gandalf stated with a warm smile.

She had been smiling while lost in her thoughts. Chuckling, she nodded, “The Shire is a special place, isn’t it? I can see why you love it so.”

Grey brows rose, “Hm, do I?” He hummed, “Yes, I suppose I am rather fond of it. The people are not swayed by much of the temptations of larger folk elsewhere. They care little for wealth except that it can afford them a warm hearth and the means to host guests as frequently as they wish, which is often. They love to laugh and find a means to do so often as they can.” He chuckled then, “And they throw rather good parties.”

Helen smiled wistfully, “I’d love to see one someday.”

Gandalf eyed her then, curious if she was aware of the sad tone her voice had taken on, “Perhaps you may, my child. Perhaps you may.”

“ _With the meal finished, we will depart_ ,” Thorin had approached them at the table they sat at alone and spoke.

“ _We are still waiting on our burglar, Master Dwarf. It is not yet past time_ ,” Gandalf answered in no rush to leave his choice of burglar behind. Helen had placed urgency on his coming. Perhaps his letter on the mantle wasn’t as obvious as it could be, “ _Hm, I can see you are eager to get on the road. Very well, I shall fetch him. You lot may ready the ponies. If you truly cannot wait, we will catch up further up the road_.”

Appeased, Thorin gave her a light nod of his head in leave before turning to tell the others what had been decided.

Gandalf turned to her, “I must go collect our burglar and see what is taking him. Stay with Thorin and the others as they ready. I will either meet you here or up the road.”

Helen nodded but her face turned grim, “I will see you soon. Though I wish there was something that could be done about the language barrier. It would be so much more comforting when you must separate from us for a while to know that I can at least speak with them if need be.”

He seemed thoughtful, “Indeed.”

She watched him leave after his odd response with furrowed brows. Wizards really were odd folk.

The sensation that eyes were on her drew her eye line down to meet two pairs of eyes, one blue and one set dark. The heirs of Durin having been caught staring both whipped their heads back around causing them to bonk heads. Helen couldn’t help but giggle.

Thorin caught her gaze then. His mouth set into a frown.

She swallowed her giggles. Apparently finding humor in the brother’s antics was not a good idea. Her eyes fell to the table. He most likely thought she was making fun of them. Dwarves were very proud, and she couldn’t exactly say that she found them a bit adorable. She let out a long breath before downing the rest of the ale in her mug. She’d never like beers or ale much, but when in Rome... Setting the empty mug down, her nose scrunched.

A hand gently gave her arm a pat to get her attention.

“Balin,” she said bobbing her head in a bow of greeting.

He smiled that she remembered his name and bowed back. He gestured then towards the door and she saw that the last of the group was headed out. He was letting her know it was time to go. She thanked him, even though he couldn’t understand. But then, perhaps he understood enough, for his smile grew a bit more before he led the way.

The company was arranged outside the stables near the pub. It seemed as though Thorin and Dori were negotiating for ponies. Thorin seemed irritated about something, though she couldn’t tell what. The stablehand looked terrified of the three dwarves standing before him, though his fright seemed most focused on Dwalin, who stood arms crossed at Thorin’s side looking every bit the bouncer.

Balin left her side then and headed over. As they spoke they glanced and gestured her way several times, ‘Ah, so it’s about me then,’ she sighed before entering the stables. She approached Aurora’s stall and the golden horse nickered at her approach. She saddling Aurora as quickly as she could, checking the saddlebags, before leading her out the stables. As she walked by the others, the debate between the group stopped.

They watched her walk by with varying expressions: Balin amused, Dwalin satisfied, Dori relieved, and Thorin agitated. Thorin turned to the stablehand, who startled before scurrying passed them all into the stables. Thorin turned to face her once more before scoffing and stomping away towards the others.

She watched him go with her brows raised. ‘What on Earth did I do now?’

Dwalin walked passed then, giving her presence no mind, before Balin walked up and gave her shoulder a pat.

She looked at him, probably still looking thoroughly bewildered.

He just shook his head as if to say, ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s just Thorin being Thorin.’

She smiled a bit at that and watched as he let Aurora sniff of his hand. With a nod in her direction, he then joined the others as the stablehand hurried to bring out the companies’ ponies.

* * *

The rest of the morning was spent with Helen being ignored for the majority of it. It seemed that Thorin was set on being agitated by her for some reason, and due to his character she had decided just to let him fume away. Not like she could talk it over with him anyhow. The frustrating part had been that the rest took their cues from their leader, and she ended up feeling a bit like a stalker or an unwanted shadow by the end of it.

A few had sent her a smile occasionally, mostly Balin and Bofur. Fíli and Kíli seemed to be trying to follow their Uncles lead. Fíli couldn’t bring himself to act coldly towards her, however, and his stern looks were more kindly smiles than anything else. Kíli would try his best to mimic his uncles steely glances, and though much more convincing than his brother’s attempts, his quickly cracked into face splitting smiles.

Though their whisperings and chuckles through snuck glances her way slowly ate away at her quickly fading patience. Not being able to understand what was being said was driving her slowly insane. At this rate, she might just hug Gandalf when he did show up once more.

Lou yipped playfully at some Hobbit children who had grown brave and approached the wolfish dog. Their shrieks and giggles made her smile and laugh watching them fondly as they played with Lou, who was giving them kisses on their tiny hands and taking turns rolling over for belly rubs and running excited around them trying to get them to play a game of chase.

The children scattered when Thorin took that moment to march heavily over to her, Fíli and Kíli following dutifully behind. His face was stern as he came to a stop in front of her and she had to crane her neck up to look at his face from her spot under the shade of a tree near the market place.

When he just stood there half glaring and half looking like he sucked a sour lemon, her sass decided she’d had enough and she quirked an eyebrow at him as if to say, ‘You want something?’

The message was received as his brows drooped into a glower. Kíli snickered and then yelped as Fíli elbowed him to zip it.

Then something was being thrust into her face. Her eyes out of focus, she leaned back eyeing the object. It was a basket of food. Some apples, rolls and dried jerky. She blinked at the basket before looking up at Thorin’s face in confusion.

His brow twitched and finally he let out a sigh, his tense aura leaving with it. His face less moody now and cheeks…

‘Was Thorin blushing?’ She barely had time to really see for sure because he had placed the basket quickly, but gently, before her before turning around and stomping back off.

She watched as his snickering nephews followed while sending smiles back her way. But she couldn’t for the life of her figure out what in the hell just happened.

Her eyes fell finally to the basket. It had been organized carefully and packed for travel. Had Thorin made this for her for the journey? She glanced back to the others only to see Balin looking very pleased with the situation.

* * *

Time had come, apparently. The company was back at The Green Dragon, all packed up and saddling up on their ponies. Gandalf and Bilbo had yet to make it back and she was getting anxious. She knew she had changed things already by being there and she was worried just how much she may have changed.

Unfortunately, her nervous tick was singing softly to herself. Doubly unfortunately, she still slipped into English from her world when she sang songs from her world. Triply unfortunately, Kíli and Fíli had been the ones to hear her.

Kíli had asked her something from his spot atop his pony beside her. The brothers had sort of meandered towards her as the morning went on. She was grateful for the company but now embarrassed at being caught singing, even if it was softly.

“ _She can’t understand you, Kee_ ,” Fíli spoke from Helen’s other side.

Kíli frowned, “ _I just wanted to know what language that was. I’ve never heard it before, but it sounded nice_.”

Fíli rolled his eyes fondly, “ _You dolt, it was probably her language from her world._ ”

Kíli pouted at that, “ _Oh yeah, forgot about that_.”

Helen looked back and forth between the two as they spoke. She watched Kíli’s excitement when he had spoken to her fizzle, and once again, she wished she could understand them.

Glancing at Fíli, he gave her a soft smile. His eyes crinkling slightly. He was trying to reassure her that it was alright.

She returned it, grateful at his kindness.

The moment was broken when some yelling could be heard in the distance. Everyone spun their ponies around to see Bilbo running ahead of an amused Gandalf, the contract waving in the air above his head. She saw a good many hobbits watch on clearly unamused by the display, but the best reactions were from the company who looked on with a mixture of disbelief and smug glances.

Bilbo ran up amongst the ponies before bending over, hands on his knees as he panted.

“Would you believe,” Gandalf spoke eyes twinkling at her as he did, “that he had not even thought to look at his mantle?”

She grinned and laughed softly, “Oh really? How untidy of him.”

Gandalf laughed then. Moving around Kíli, her, and Fíli, Gandalf approached Bilbo and Thorin, who had just been given the signed contract.

She smiled fondly at the scene before her and laughed as Fíli and Kíli moved forward to pick him up and place him on a pony despite his protests. Once Gandalf retrieved Shadowfax, moneybags were tossed about as bets were cashed in. With that, their company was off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted a lighter chapter after all the angsty, heaviness of the last. I especially wanted to write focusing on how Fili, Kili, and Thorin interact with her. 
> 
> Thorin is broody but a secret softy. Incase people missed the hints, he was trying to get an extra horse for Helen there at the begin and grew annoyed to learn that she had actually had one all along. Of course, being Thorin, he was a broody butt for a bit. Even still, he purchase her some food supplies because he was worried she may not have any since she wasn't buying much like they were.
> 
> Fili and Kili are too fun to write. They both admire Thorin so much and want to make him proud, but they don't hold the same grudge against all elves like he does. They didn't witness Erebor and so it isn't the same for them. they only know that they've been told things about elves. Meeting Helen and seeing how much she doesn't care for their gold and does care for their safety, the brothers just cant bring themselves to think ill of her. So while they want Thorin's approval, they end of cracking in the act because they think Helen is nice and interesting and tehe its a pretty girl. ...mind you, they've grown up seeing nothing but dwarven men for the most part, aside from their mom and possibly an occasional woman of man. Elven women is something entire foreign to them. And they are curious pups, after all.
> 
> More soon! Seriously could almost post 2 chapters today, but I want to double check myself first. heh


	13. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf disappears at the worst possible time. Some shit goes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention that Gandalf disappears at the worst possible time? Cause he does.

The roads were easier than Helen had expected. Though they had not stayed in any of the towns they passed, they hadn’t been very far from one since they departed the Shire last month. The company had been in good spirits, for the most part. Aside from Bilbo’s lingering bewilderment at his being present at all and the wide girth that most gave Helen, everyone was getting along well.

Gandalf would tell stories to Bilbo and the Dwarves during the day. Helen, though she couldn’t understand the common tongue, had gotten enjoyment out of watching the faces and reactions of Gandalf’s audience. Bilbo was the most amusing to watch; he was fascinated, but often tried to seem as though the great tales didn’t suit him. He was always the first to perk up once Gandalf began however. Ori was just as entertaining. He had an innocent curiosity about him that was adorable to witness. His shy nature had made them interact little, but she was growing fond of the quiet scholar who often doodled in his book.

The Heirs were her favorite to watch. Both during Gandalf’s stories and increasingly throughout the day, she found her eyes searching the pair out. When the company would take to singing as they rode on, she’d watch smiling as they sometimes took out their fiddles and strummed a tune. Their laughter was contagious and she wouldn’t be able to stop the grin that grew when she heard it. It was especially amusing when she’d see that Thorin was getting put out by their antics. Luckily, their leader hadn’t caught her laughing to herself about it, for he’d surely not be amused. ‘Never laugh at a live dragon,’ was the quote, though she thought it applied nicely to proud dwarves too.

They were the reason she was on the journey, with her goal being to save them. Likely that was why the Durin’s drew her attention most. The relationships between them was something worth protecting. When Gandalf, one night after eating, had brought up her lingering gazes- on the young Durin’s in particular- as they shared in their nightly conversations, she had explained as much. He had only hummed thoughtfully in return. She got the distinct feeling he wasn’t buying it, but how did you explain the fact that you care so deeply for these people who are almost strangers to you? Strangers that you know so much about? No, it would be almost impossible, so she let him and his conclusions be.

It was difficult, only being able to understand one person in the company. Whether due to that- or the fact she was an Elf- or possibly her odd origins, she was often lonely during the day on their travels. She had insisted that Gandalf speak mostly with the group while they rode. The bonding between Gandalf and the company was vital to the greater story of the journey. As a result, she often became bored after tiring of watching the others talk and laugh. She had been entertained by taking in as much as she could of the world around them as they traveled, but the lands now all looked the same. See one rolling green hill or farmland, you’ve seen them all. So, as she often did when bored, she’d sing softly to herself to try and pass the time. With one earplug in playing her music, she’d sing along and maybe bob her head a bit or pat her leg to the beat. It wasn’t much, but it was a tie to her previous life and it helped ease her boredom a bit.

Bilbo had been curious once he noticed what she was doing. His eyes were so big and curious she couldn’t help but try to ease his curiosity. She leaned to hold the second earplug up near his ear for him to hear, but he’d startled so badly that he nearly toppled from his mount –to the company’s amusement. She had not offered again. If any others were curious they hadn’t asked, though sometimes, Kíli and Fíli would drift nearer as though straining to hear.

As for the company and Helen, she felt she had made some progress as the days passed by. Balin was open about his acceptance of her. He was always kind and was the only member of the group to touch her intentionally in any way, usually by way of a comforting pat to the arm. Oin had also warmed to her. The old healer couldn’t hear and she couldn’t understand if he had spoken, so they’d often sit in comfortable silence while helping Bombur to cook what Lou had caught or the Heirs had hunted.

Bombur seemed pleased that her dog helped to supply meat by hunting and with her help cooking and cleaning afterwards. He’d point at something to ask her if she’d mind helping –she had asked Gandalf to tell him to do so if she could ever help- and he’d always hum merrily as they worked. Bofur was polite and friendly. He’d given her a little wooden version of Lou and Aurora and she’d been amazed at the details of the wooden carved figures.

Ori would smile politely, but he was terribly shy around her often blushing bright when she’d wave a greeting as she passed by. She’d largely blamed Dori and Nori for that. They seemed to give her a wide berth when they could manage. She didn’t know why that was, but they clearly were not entirely comfortable with her presence, though never rude. Helen was weary of Nori as well, for she knew he had sticky fingers and so she often had Lou guard over her gear.

Bifur and Gloin both were most still displeased with her presence; she was almost positive that was because she was a woman more than an elf. Anytime she did anything that was physically risky in anyway, the pair seemed greatly displeased. Bifur had never been rude, though what he said in Khuzdul was a mystery, but certainly had he never been kind. Gloin, however, was open when displeased and had no issue giving her a good glare. She couldn’t understand them, so she didn’t know if it was because they were worried for her safety or annoyed at her behavior somehow. She opted to ignore it either way. Dwalin blatantly ignored her if he could help it. If she got in his way, he’d give a great huff and a stern look. She felt more like a nuisance in his presence than anything, so she gave him a wide berth in return. She couldn’t tell if he honestly disliked her or if his face was just a permanent scowl no matter who it was looking at. Perhaps he had resting bitch face?

With Thorin, she was at a bigger loss. He would ignore her existence entirely much like Dwalin, but then sometimes she couldn’t help but feel as though he was watching out for her as well. When they’d stop near a stream and she’d tell Gandalf she was going to wash up, she’d return to find Thorin standing guard at the edge of the camp with his back facing whatever direction she’d wandered off in and his eyes making sure no one in camp tried to sneak a peek. She’d asked Gandalf if he was doing what she thought and if she should thank him, but he had said that Thorin would likely deny it or be embarrassed and that it was best to let it be. Instead, she’d nod her head in greeting as she passed back by him. He wouldn’t move except to glance out of the corner of his eye at her, but he had kept the routine up.

Then there were Fíli and Kíli. They lingered around her peripherals through most of the days. Close enough to see what she was doing or hear if she spoke or sang, yet far enough to pretend they weren’t doing just that. At first, she’d been self-conscious and had clammed up a bit, but she realized they were just curious. They kept a distance mostly in following Thorin’s example, though if she needed help, they were the first to move to offer assistance. It was a bit of warm and then cold with the Durins, but she found the brothers equally entertaining to watch so she couldn’t fault them for doing the same. As the days went on, the distance they kept shortened.

It started when one time her pack strap was stuck as she tried to unload Aurora for the night. Kíli was there before she’d had to go to Gandalf for help. Smiling that smile that lit up his face when she thanked him gratefully, even if the words were lost the meaning was easy to read. Since the first time, he’d come each time she needed to load or unload her packs from Aurora’s saddlebags to help. As the days past, they started a little game. They’d take turns humming little tunes to each other and grinning back and forth. Such moments were short, but she had grown very fond of the cheerful younger Durin.

Another time after using one of her knives to clean a kill Lou had caught, she realized that did not have anything to properly clean her blades with. She’d been about to rip a square from a blanket to wipe off the gunk when Fíli had materialized out of thin air. He stood with a soft smile offering a cloth and some yellow jellied-like substance to her. When it became clear through her expression that she’d had no clue what the heck she should do with them, he sat down beside her on the log and picked up one of her blades. He spent most of that night sitting at her side patiently showing her without words how to use the wax- she was later told by Gandalf- and cloth to clean and polish her blades. Now when he’d tend to his, he’d find her and they’d quietly do the chore siting near to the other.

Where Kíli was open with his smiles and demeanor, Fíli was reserved. She’d almost say shy, for she’d caught him blushing several times if their gazes met. It was most likely due to the difference in the brothers’ ages and with their roles. Fíli had the burden of being the heir, Thorin’s heir, and the one who would be Crown Prince of Erebor after the journeys end- if she could help it. Kíli had more freedom and was more carefree because of it.

Still, without being able to speak to anyone, she felt that what semblance of relationships she had with the company was all she’d ever get and it made her very sad. In this, Bilbo made the journey easier. He too was still seen as an outsider, though he’d take any opportunity he could to try and earn some ground with Thorin. Bilbo would sit by her on his pony for a while on the paths before making his rounds to the others. He’d sit by her at night as he smoked his pipe, listening to her and Gandalf talk in Elvish. He would always manage to show up near her if the others were rude, offering his presence as a way to show she wasn’t entirely alone. He never asked to listen to her music again, but he enjoyed it when she’d sing songs quietly while they sat watching the firelight.

It was in this manner that days had passed and turned to weeks, until they had passed from fairer lands of hills and farms. They were well into the eerie emptiness of the Lone-lands with its ruins sitting upon desolate hills. The weather had turned sour. It rained and rained and rained. It was cold; something she hated. She hadn’t been able to even pass the time listening to her music, since the wet would ruin it. The company had turned grumpy and short-fused. The tension a tangible thing in the air. Bilbo had taken to riding at her side at all times for she was less likely to snap at him than the broody, soaked dwarves. Gandalf even seemed irritable and their talks had all but stopped at night.

It was the night they camped at Weathertop, as she’d been informed, that Gandalf had approached her. “You seem especially glum these days, child. It can’t be the weather for your Elven nature,” he had said, “What is wrong?”

“I’m not freezing like most of our group. I guess that is because I’m an Elf now, but I’ve never liked the cold. Adding being soaked to the mix, I’d definitely say I’m uncomfortable,” she admitted grumpily.

He hummed, “Perhaps, though I feel there is more to your being down as of late.”

She glanced at him before conceding, “I wish I could talk with them. It would be so much easier to help them if I could.” She watched the group huddled around the tiny fire and sighed, “I have things with me from my world that could help us to get warmer. I have the means to make a fire without wood, but I can’t speak to them and I fear they’d think ill of it. Likely thinking it’s some enchantment or something. I don’t want to give them more reason to distance themselves. I had been making some progress with them before the weather went to hell. Now it’s like I’m back to being invisible.” She winced, “I sound like I’m whining. I’m not trying to. I’m lucky to be here, honestly. It’s a blessing and a miracle evening being in Middle Earth at all.” She sighed, “I’d just give up almost anything if I could understand them and talk with them. But no, it had to be Elvish that I was given.”

Gandalf was silent for a moment, “Hm, yes, well don’t give up hope. There may be something yet to be done.”

Before she could ask what he meant, he was standing. She watched as he went to the group and spoke to Thorin. Thorin glanced her way, along with most of the others, before he said something to Gandalf.

Once their conversation was through, Gandalf returned, “He has agreed to allow your assistance with the fire. As it is, it won’t stay hot enough to cook anything. Hunger has won out over their stubbornness it seems.”

She blinked having not expected their agreeance, “Oh, um, alright. I’ll get the stuff from my pack.”

Gandalf nodded mostly to himself, “Yes, well, it is a start, is it not?”

Not trying to decipher his weird wizardly musings, Helen took the bullet stove from her pack and the camping pan set. She set some pans out to collect some rain water and went to hooking up the bullet stove to its little propane can.

The dwarves watched in rapt curiosity and a fair amount of doubt at her skill as she did. When she turned on the gas, simultaneously igniting the small but intense flame, the dwarves gasped and murmured very much pleased.

She collected the two pots of water and set about chopping potatoes and carrots from her pack, setting them to the side as she cooked the meat of the two rabbits and quail Lou had caught. The water boiled fast under the hot flame and soon she had added the veggies to cook. She added some salt and pepper and some herbs given to her by Elladan and Elrohir for cooking. It wasn’t like her meals she cooked back in her world, but it was a nice stew when she was done. The second pot of water was set to boil and she used some of Bilbo’s tea to make them something warm to drink and fill their bellies.

When she was done, she presented them with the finished product along with some elvish waybread to eat with it like crackers, and was met by the looks of some very pleased dwarves. They had all given her grateful looks as they began to eat. She watched from a short distance as they ate and ate, the conversation becoming less tense than it had been for a good many days.

She looked at Gandalf who ate beside her, “Thank you.”

He looked bemused, “For what, child, I should be thanking you for this hot meal.”

She merely smiled and shook her head.

After the meal, Helen spotted Bilbo shivering and shaking while trying to tug his wet cloak tighter around him. Frowning at the sight, she made up her mind. She went to dig through her bags and found her first aid pack. Taking out the emergency blanket, she asked Gandalf if he’d help her translate as she went to the cold hobbit, “Bilbo, I have something that will help you to retain more of your body heat. It is waterproof and you can wrap it around you under your cloak during the day or cover yourself under your blanket at night, if you wish. You must keep it hidden in daylight or from firelight, however because it is very shiny and will make our location known from a long ways off.”

Upon Gandalf’s translation, Bilbo looked very intrigued and agreed. The dwarves, too, were vastly curious about this shiny, warm thing and had all craned their necks as she took the silver reflective square from its packaging.

She unfolded it, the highly reflective silver catching the firelight and drawing some “Oh’s” from the younger Durin brothers. Bilbo quickly removed his cloak and she draped it over his shoulders and wrapped it around him like a cocoon, “There we go. You should feel warmer quickly,” she said as she placed his cloak back over the emergency blanket. He snuggled into the heat with a content sigh, and she chuckled, unable to help ruffling his curly hair. If he was bothered by it, he didn’t show, for the goofy grin he know wore made clear he was much, much warmer. The rest of the night was spent with Gandalf playing translator as the Dwarves asked various questions about the shiny material of the emergency blanket and her stove, and she answered as best she could.

The days after that were just as miserable, but the group was less snappy than before. The advancements in her interactions with them returned to how it was before the poor weather and then some. She was given even less distance than before, much to her relief. It was after three days of this slightly improved morale that disaster struck.

They had come to the end of the Lone-lands and were before The Last Bridge. From this point on, the roads would be wilder and overgrown. This was the end of the land of men and into the Trollshaws. It was within these lands that the Valley of Rivendell was hidden.

She looked to Gandalf knowingly. It was no doubt to her where they were going, she’d read the book and watched the films. Still, she couldn’t help but worry just how the dwarves being in Imladris would be welcomed or received by either group. She’d hope it’d be more like the novels. She wasn’t looking forward to dwarven hostility if it leaned more for the movies.

When they crossed the bridge, ponies and dwarves and hobbit alike were nervous at the high and rushing waters of the swelled river below. All the rain had made the waters like rapids below. The crossing was slow and easy as they urged their nervous ponies and horses across.

 It was getting late and it had been decided that they would make camp just in the trees. The hope being that the rain would be blocked by the leaves, somewhat. Thorin had said something to her, and she’d turned to ask Gandalf what it was when she realized he was gone. She looked around wildly, which got the attention of the others. She heard them talking about Gandalf, no doubt cursing how he’d just vanished.

She looked back to Thorin helplessly, shrugging with a frown. She didn’t know what he had said nor where Gandalf disappeared to. Thorin sighed and grumbled. Feeling like a burden once more, she followed solemnly along with the others as they dismounted at the treeline.

Her feet had just touched the Earth when her skin prickled with goosebumps. Lou begun growling lowly from right beside her, hackles raised in alarm. An uneasy feeling crept over her.

The loud frightened whinny of a pony made her jump nearly out of her skin and startled Aurora, who she then had to calm. The scared pony bolted, flying right passed her and nearly trampling Lou in the process. The dwarves shouted. Kíli and Fíli ran after it, but it plunged blindly into the rushing river.

Her stomach dropped. She knew this scene.

She tossed her reins into the hands of a startled Gloin and took off after them yelling, “Fíli! Kíli! No!”

It was too late.

Both dwarves had jumped right into the raging waters in an effort to try to save the terrified pony from drowning. She tore off her bow and quiver and sword as the company finally joined her at the banks. Her cloak and jacket was dropped to the ground, and then ignoring their shouts of her name and shaking off a grip to her arm, she dove in.

She reached Kíli first. His heavy fur lined cloak and armor weighing him down, and he kept sinking beneath the raging water. She slung an arm around his waist and drug him ashore. She ignored his panicked screaming for his brother, all but tossing him onto the bank forcing the others to fit to keep him from the raging waters.

As soon as she had him ashore, she turned back to find Fíli in the rapids and her heart sank. Her eyes searched the waters frantically. Further down the river she caught sight of the pony climbing on shore, his packed load gone. She began running down the banks ignoring shouts from behind her as she looked for any sign, a flash of golden hair, something. Anything. Then she saw it. Gold mixed with some rocks in the water’s foam.

She ran, diving in swimming as fast as she could. The current was stronger there and she was bashed against many rocks beneath the water’s surface, but finally she reached him. She tried to pull him up to the surface, but he wouldn’t budge. His sudden grasping of his hands over her tugging on his coat startled and gave her hope. He was still conscious, though not for long if he didn’t get free.

Taking a breath, she dove under and tugged and tugged, but his belt was stuck on a branch wedged in the rocks. He tried to push her off, to save herself, but his strength was leaving him. He was fading. She began frantically, blindly searching for a way to dislodge the belt, finally taking her Bowie knife and slicing through the leather. She wrapped her arms around him and pushed off the bottom.

Surfacing, she gasped for breath. The cheers and shouting of the company lead her to the correct shore and she drug him onto the bank. He wasn’t moving. His lips were turning blue.

“Fíli!” Kíli’s heart wrenching yell spurred her into action.

She shoved him back, “I’m going to save him. Stay back!”

The dwarves hadn’t understood her words, but they seemed to take the hint. When Thorin and Kíli struggled to approach again, they were retained by the others.

Helen got to work. She tilted his head back after making sure he wasn’t breathing. She checked for a pulse. Finding nothing, she cursed, “Shit!”

When she tore open his over coat, Thorin struggled against his retainers. She began pumping on Fíli’s chest. 1 2 3. Then she leaned, pinching his nose, closing her mouth over his and forcing air into his lungs. She pumped again.

1 2 3. Breathe. 1 2 3. Breathe. 1 2 3. Breathe.

“Come on Fíli,” she pleaded, “Come on!”

1 2 3. Breathe. 1 2 3. Breathe. 1 2 3. Breathe.

Her eyes watered, cursing Tolkien for his vague description of this moment and cursing the powers above for everything she could think of.

1 2 3. Breathe. 1 2 3. Breathe. 1 2 3. Breathe.

Tears were falling freely as she worked.

Sobs rippled through the group. And Kíli wailed. Thorin was released and he made his way slowly to her.

She threw off his hand when he tried to grab her shoulder. “No! He is not dead! He can’t die right now. It isn’t supposed to happen this way,” she sobbed.

1 2 3. Breathe. 1 2 3-

Fíli coughed, water spitting up from his mouth. She quickly rolled him to his side, brushing hair from his face as he vomited, “That’s it, Fíli. Let it out. You’re alright. I’ve got you.” She rubbed his back with her other hand cradling his head now in her lap as he puked the water he had swallowed and took wheezing breaths. She looked up to the others grinning widely at their awe filled looks, “He’s alive!” She laughed looking down once more, “You’re alive, Fíli.”

He opened his eyes seeing her teary smile peering down at him. His eyes were glazed as he rose a hand brushing her cheek, “Kulhu lagnûna malya’tabi e?” (What goddess is now beheld before me?)  His hand flopped to his side as he passed out.

She felt his pulse and sighed, “He has fallen asleep.” She looked up to the company who seemed embarrassed now. She rolled her eyes thinking it due to her using her mouth to force him to breathe. Seeing as how they were being bashful, she made to get up and pick him up herself. His legs were still in the water and he needed to get warm.

They scrambled into action then. Dwalin lifted him from the muddy banks and carried him off towards the tree line they had picked out for their camp. Ori had retrieved the pony and followed with his brothers. Gloin followed his brother Oin, who wanted to check Fíli over once he was settled. Kíli had a firm grip on Fíli’s coat collar as he walked beside Dwalin. The rest followed after, all fusing over the passed out heir.

She watched them go and her knees began to shake as the ordeal caught up with her. She’d almost lost him. She almost failed.

Bilbo was thoroughly shaken by it all but came when he saw her start to lose it. He grabbed her hand and patted it as she took in several large gulps of air, trying to calm herself. She offered the hobbit a shaky smile in return. He smiled up at her giving a nod as though to say “Well done” before following the others.

Balin came over to her then and grabbed her shoulders pulling her forward. He brought her forehead to his. It was a gesture of comradery, acceptance, and gratitude.

Her eyes watered again. She squeezed them closed and griped his shoulders as well grateful for the gesture and understanding the significance of it.

He pulled back giving her a few good pats before following the others.

Then she noticed Thorin. He was standing watching the limp form of his nephew being carried off. She noticed his clenched fists and decided he likely needed a moment.

She quietly picked up her cloak and weapons she had tossed to the ground before diving into the waters. Her movements drew his attention and his eyes flashed as they landed on her. She tensed ready to be yelled at or blamed or possibly accused of molesting the princeling since she doubted they knew what CPR was.

He stomped to her and yanked her to his chest. The wind left her at the force of it but she realized that he was hugging her.

Eyes wide, she froze. ‘Thorin fucking Oakenshield is hugging me,’ it seemed her brain short-circuited and she forgot how to function.

He pulled back and then pulled her head forward, pressing his forehead to hers.

Her brain kicked in somehow and she managed to raise a hand to clasp his shoulder like she had done with Balin.

That seemed appropriate for he pulled away and gave her a grateful smile, a pleased nod, and a firm pat to the back before he headed off to the others who were setting up camp.

It took longer than she cared to admit for her to stop gawking after his retreating figure, and Lou to jump up and kiss her cheek for her to pull out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I warned you.  
> Gandalf just had to run off right then, am I right?
> 
> This moment barely gets a single line or two of mention from Tolkien, but I felt it was pretty damned significant. They nearly die here. I mean, hello? This seems like it needs more than a passing "Oh by the way, that happened." 
> 
> Anywho, Helen to the rescue!  
> But this is actually not as Mary Sue as it may seem at first. First starters, Dwarves are actually pretty scared of water. It's something Tolkien expresses on multiple occasions when describing dwarves. Fili and Kili going in the water at all says a lot about them. Not that Thorin wouldn't have jumped in after his nephews, but Helen didn't give it time to see how it would play out. She just acted.
> 
> Kili was fighting her the whole way, wanting to find his brother first, but she had no time to fight with him, so she just drug him and toss him ashore for the others to deal with. Poor Fili though got lodged by some rocks.   
> I played around with how I wanted to do this scene, but I think the rapid pace of it captures the panic of the whole ordeal.
> 
> I'm gonna go ahead and give you all a hint- this is likely the first real step for the ship. She saved his life. It's probably gonna effect things. Plus she is gonna be shaken over nearly losing a Durin so early in her attempt to save them. Just saying- prepare yourselves cause the ship is officially taking off.
> 
> Still, with all the drama, I wonder who out of you caught the bit of foreshadowing I threw in. Hmmm :3


	14. Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ch-ch-ch-changes~

The making of camp that night was the fastest the company had managed since setting out from Hobbiton. They had all worked together in perfect synchronization with little more than a word or two passing between them. It had been an eventful evening and they were all looking forward to a warm fire and a decent meal. The company had set up bedrolls under a canvas tarp that had been hung between trees to shield more from the rain. It would be cramped but they’d be mostly dry. There was added rush in their mission that night for the group was minus one. Fíli laid on a bed of many furs that the others had supplied and under a thick, warm blanket. He had yet to wake up since his nearly drowning, and in spite of Oin's assurances that he simply needed his rest, the group found that until he did awake they would not be able to truly relax for the night.

Once camp was established, everyone began to split off to do this chore or that one. Helen went to set out her bedroll under the canopy of the tarp when an argument began. She looked up as Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose snapping at Bombur in irritation. Bombur spoke gesturing to the ponies and the river, and she suddenly had an idea of what the problem was.

She walked over and cleared her throat. The small group, which included Dwalin, Balin, Nori, Dori, and Bofur, shifted their glares to her. Several faces lightened but the irritation of the problem they were having was still there. She tried to ask, “Did we lose the food?”

Thorin looked confused and shook his head saying he did not understand her.

She puffed out her cheeks, letting out the air in a long sigh. She gestured as though she were eating from a bowl, “Food,” she stated then pointed to the river, “Gone?” She asked.

Thorin then seemed to get her meaning and he nodded glumly.

She held up a finger, “One moment.” She went to Aurora and dug through her bags. She had a good amount of elvish waybread left over and some jerky she had yet to touch. She brought them back showing the group, “It’s all I have.”

They eyed the jerky gratefully but looked at the bread with grim looks. The bread was dry, like shortbread, and without a stew to dip it in this time, it would be a less than savory meal. She took one and bite from it to encourage them. “It’s filling,” she patted her stomach.

They didn’t look convinced but it was agreed that it was better than nothing.

Thorin clapped a hand on her shoulder, thankful and pleased at her assistance, and took the bag she offered to him with a nod. He then addressed the company and informed them that they’d be eating elvish biscuits and jerky for dinner. The groans from all were scalded by Thorin, who told them they should be grateful to have anything at all since they all had been dumb enough to put all the food and provisions onto one pony. Message received, the company quietly ate the offered morsels, feeling more and more grateful as their bellies filled thanks to the elvish bread.

Helen neither understood this nor did she pay attention. She took a piece of waybread for herself and an extra two, and made her way over to where Fíli was resting. Oin was at his side and seemed to have finished his checkup. He pulled the thick blanket up on Fíli’s chest and reached to give her a pat on the shoulder, which seemed to be the way dwarves expressed their acceptance, gratitude, thanks, and a great deal of other things.

Still she took the positive gesture with a smile and nodded her head in a bow. There was a great many things she wished she could ask the healer about his condition, but their communications were limited.

Oin spotted the canteen and food she held. With a clap of his hands, he spoke to Kíli who sat at his brother’s side next to Oin. The younger Durin merely grunted in response earning a tsk from the healer, who turned back to her. He gestured to her and then the food and then Fíli. Then nodded seemingly satisfied with his message and left to collect his dinner.

She stared after him confused. This whole not being able to understand them thing was just getting ridiculous. She released a long breath exasperated and looked to Kíli, who was staring at his brother’s face as if afraid to look away. She grasped his hand and squeezed it making him jump before he saw it was her. He returned her gesture, giving her a weak smile in return, though he returned the grip to her hand.

They sat there watching Fíli’s chest rise and fall holding hands in reassurance for a good long while. Helen hummed various tunes her mother used to sing to her when she needed comforting.

The rest of the company had sat around her tiny stove for warmth, as any attempts at a larger fire had all but failed since everything was so wet. They had all mostly finished eating when Thorin finally came to drag Kíli away and force him to eat. The broody older Durin had warmth in his eyes as he saw Helen offering his nephew comfort. He placed his hand on her shoulder, giving a small, grateful smile before he steered the youngest Durin away to eat.

Alone in her vigil, Helen sat watching over Fíli. Each rise and fall of his chest was a relief to her. That evening had been an emotional whirlwind. She couldn’t believe how close they had really gotten to losing him. His pulse had been gone and he hadn’t been breathing, but she had fought tooth and nail and drug him back. The Valar would have to try harder than that if her purpose truly wasn’t to save the Durins.

A flinch of Fíli’s face brought her out from her inner musings. Her humming sputtered to a stop and she reached to move some hair from his face. A hand snapped up to grasp around her wrist and she yelped in surprise.

Fíli’s wide blue eyes seemed to focus in on the noise. Realizing who it was, the tension drained from him. He released her wrist and tried to sit up. His strength was not fully back yet, however, and his lungs burned from the water that had been there before.

She stopped him when she heard him wheeze. Placing a hand to his chest, “Wait, don’t strain yourself,” she pleaded. Her worried eyes searching his face for any sign that he wasn’t well.

* * *

Fíli watched her mouth form words he didn’t know before he met her gaze. The worry and tinge of panic still lingering there had him complying with the gentle pressure as she guided him back into laying down. He winced at the burn in his lungs, raising a hand to gently pat the back of hers still pressed to his chest. He hated to seem weak, but what bothered him more was how affected she was over his condition. He found that her worry for him so visible on her face was making his stomach do funny things. Fluttery things.

* * *

 

She was glad when he laid back down. His wheezing breaths were troubling, but she knew it was likely they’d need time to fully recover. She didn’t want him pushing himself too quickly. His hand rose patting and then resting over hers upon his chest as his eyes seemed to search her face for something.

When his thumb started to brush lightly back and forth across her knuckles, her heart gave an odd fluttering in her chest. Though he seemed to be doing it unconsciously, the way it was affecting her wasn’t something she was sure was a very good idea. She cleared her throat, her hand falling from his chest.

He couldn’t understand her, but her stomach was flip-flopping and she found herself talking anyways to distract herself from the odd fluttering of her stomach, “I brought food, but I may have to help you sit up. Please, let me help.” She showed him the food, placing it down on the blankets before grabbing his hand and giving a gentle tug as if to say come on get up. When he tried this time, she scooted behind him, settling him between her legs with his back braced upright against her front. She tried her best to ignore how he tensed when his back settled against her chest.

Grateful for no one witnessing the flaming her face had taken on, she picked up the food handing it and the water canteen to him before gently urging him, “Eat.”

He turned his head to look over his shoulder at her, clearly thrown off guard by her actions and not entirely sure how to feel about it. Still, when she pressed the items into his hands and pleaded with her eyes once more, he found himself incapable of disappointing her. He accepted the items, the relief in her eyes clear as he took his first bite. He noticed her own dinner, still sitting with only a single bite gone. Picking it up, he placed it in one of her hands.

Helen couldn’t help but chuckle at his earnest look. It seemed he would comply with her wishes, but not without making sure she remembered to take care of herself as well.

He had grinned at the sound of her light laugh, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly. So, they sat, both eating their simple meals and both finding a hard time losing the small grins that had appeared on their faces.

* * *

As they sat, him leaning back against her for support and her with one arm around his middle to keep him steady, the night grew later. Thorin saw that his nephew had awoken and approached the pair, his brows raising as he saw how close they were. Fíli was not the most prideful dwarf, but he was a dwarf and allowing for any to support him so was showing a great deal of trust.

Thorin assumed that the pair might develop a bond after the ordeal. Fíli had nearly died, and it was through Helen’s efforts that his nephew and heir was alive. It seemed obvious that some bond would form because of it, but knowing it likely and seeing the pair now was two different things entirely. He’d have to pay more attention to the two of them to see what it meant.

Fíli’s cheeks had reddened at Thorin’s inquisitive look, but his lifted chin had dared his uncle to say a word about it.

Deciding to save it for another time and a bit proud at Fíli standing his ground when he was usually more passive, Thorin handed his nephew the portion of jerky that had been saved for the pair. Thorin then saw Helen declined her share, which led to a ridiculous bout of pushing the jerky back and forth between them as she tried to get Fíli to eat her share. As odd as it was to witness the new closeness the two seemed to have developed, Thorin gave her a pleased nod when she had gotten a gleam in her eye before all but shoving the jerky into Fíli’s mouth, thus ending the wordless debate.

Helen was a puzzle for Thorin, one that had caused him some trouble in figuring out. He disliked not being able to figure out something, and the strange elf-not-by-birth woman from another world was just that. With her last feat of rescuing his beloved nephews, Thorin found that he was rather fond of the odd woman. Shaking his head at the antics of youth, Thorin made his way back to the others to see about getting that larger fire made.

* * *

When Helen had shoved the jerky into his mouth, Fíli had been shocked at first, but seeing the satisfied and slightly wicked gleam in her eyes had him chuckling through his defeat.

The vibration of his chuckles made Helen blush and avert her eyes from his. Seeing him doing as she wished out of the corner of her eye, relieved her though. She wanted him to gain back his strength and he needed the protein more than she did. She mentally cursed her stomach when he brought a hand up to absentmindedly brush a thumb across the back of her hand that was wrapped around. Her heart skipped and then galloped at the gesture. If Fíli could feel her heart trying to hammer out of her chest, he didn’t let on.

* * *

It was sometime later, after her and Fíli had finished eating, that some bickering arose from those gathered around her small stove. Fíli had regained his strength and she now sat beside him. Kíli had returned and was at his other side. The three had been content with each other’s presence and the silence until the bickering began.

She tilted her head as she tried to decipher what it could be about. When Fíli began to tug and fight with the furs covering him with a frown and ignoring Kíli’s words and pulls at his arm, she became alarmed. She rose a hand to his arm, but her efforts to calm him were ignored as he tossed the covers away with a great huff. She had no idea what was being said but it bothered Fíli a great deal. She looked back to those sitting around her stove and realized they were huddled around it. They looked freezing and miserable. She looked back at Fíli who was scowling as Kíli spoke to him, and her mind clicked, ‘Ah,’ she thought, ‘the group is cold and Fíli feels bad for using their furs.’

Fíli and Kíli had just stood when Oin and Gloin seemed to alert the group about something. She followed the brothers over to the company. Everyone was looking where Oin and Gloin had pointed.

Her eyes zeroed in on a distance glow. The red-orange light of a large fire was visible atop a hill or slope some ways away. It was well and fully dark now and so she couldn’t see much but she saw shadows move through the light that seemed oddly large.

Her memory clicked into gear. She gasped and grabbed Fíli’s arm, “Trolls.” She tried to warn them, her eyes wide.

Fíli brought his other hand over hers and gave it a squeeze, “ _Don’t be afraid_ ,” his tone was gentle, too gentle for someone who understood her meaning.

As the group began debating, she realized in exasperation that she couldn’t stop them. She couldn’t tell them what was ahead, and with Gandalf MIA, she had no way to warn them.

She heard Thorin speaking to Bilbo before the hobbit wandered off towards the far off light. She rushed forward to join the shaking hobbit as he was sent off, but an arm caught her around her middle.

Thorin had stopped her. His face wasn’t angry, but grew irritated as she struggled against his strength.

Once he released her, she looked after where Bilbo had disappear to before looking back to Thorin, “Trolls, Thorin. You are sending him off to face Trolls alone!” She tried to act out a large stomping Troll but only made the dwarves look at her like she lost her mind. She tugged at her hair letting out a groan.

Once more her meaning was lost and Thorin turned to speak to Fíli who came up to her and took her hand from her hair, pulling her away to the makeshift shelter, “ _Come on out of the rain. Let our burglar check things out_.”

She allowed him to guide her, though she refused to sit down as he had gestured. Instead, Fíli and Kíli watched bemused and concerned as she paced under the tarping, grumbling and muttering to herself.

After a while, she stopped and looked to the distant firelight once more before making up her mind. She squared her shoulders. Thorin’s wishes be damned, she knew what was there. Bilbo was surely caught by Trolls by now.

Thorin made to stop her again, Fíli and Kíli scrambling after her as she stomped over to her gear. She ignored them as they seemed to plead and order her to wait and to not wander off. She tugged her bow over her head and made Lou stay back by Aurora. When Thorin grabbed her arm to stop her physically, she glared at him, not backing down until he finally relented realizing she wouldn’t be stopped.

The company could only watch as her figure faded into the dark of night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ship- it may but only be a little thing still, a baby ship if you will, but it is sailing~
> 
> Whew! POV shift central. I felt it would be nice to get a bit inside the mind of Thorin and Fili. I don't plan to do that many shifts ever again, but this chapter is my official ship launching chapter and I felt like it.
> 
> Sorry about the cliff hanger... kinda. I mean, you should have an idea of what's coming, but still...
> 
> Ch-ch-ch-changes!
> 
> I'm a loser and made a Fili/Helen thing for the chapter~ https://www.polyvore.com/shift/set?id=228812744


	15. Trolls and a Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trolls happen... and maybe some other stuff too~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THIS CHAPTER!  
> Italics is spoken Westron.  
> Normal text is Elvish.  
> Be sure to pay attention. ^_-
> 
> ~~~~ATTENTION!~~~~  
> This chapter had to be deleted and reuploaded. It seems when I copied it over to post, I left off the bottom section of the chapter. Sorry for the confusion! If you've read it last night, you may want to reread it. Some very important stuff happens at the end.

Fíli had immediately demanded he be allowed to go after her, and Kíli pipped in agreeing and demanding to go right along with him.

Thorin yanked them backwards, “ _Don’t be foolish. Think with your heads. If you two go stomping up and whoever is there is the nervous sort, Helen could be injured because of it_.”

Fíli looked into the forest where she had vanished following Bilbo. His stomach had dropped as her figure faded into the night and it hadn’t recovered. It was Kíli who spoke, “ _She could be hurt if we don’t help_.”

“ _We don’t know that they are hostile_ ,” Thorin explained, “ _But they might feel threatened if we go stomping into their camp in a large number_.”

“ _We don’t know that they aren’t hostile_ ,” Fíli stated, “ _Everything in me is screaming that I need to go after her_.”

Thorin eyed his nephew then. He saw the clenched fists and eyes focused and searching the dark forest. Sighing, Thorin turned, “ _Balin, you are best at negotiations. Follow Helen and Bilbo. And help bargain for our sharing their fire._ ”

Balin was happy to go and did so promptly.

Meanwhile, Helen had finally neared the campsite. She heard three great big voices arguing and then heard Bilbo pleading- to not be eaten surely. She had readied to charge in if needed when the Trolls set him down. As they began arguing again, Bilbo slowly backed up into the bushes she hid behind.

She yanked him backwards, silencing him with her hand. His terror fled upon seeing her and she pointed back behind her for him to move to a safer distance. He made to obey before they heard the Trolls become excited.

Bilbo paled. She saw a confused Balin walk up only to be caught. Then one by one each member was caught and thrown in a sack. Fíli and Kíli had been caught and bagged together and tossed atop the pile of squirming, cursing dwarves.

Thorin, however, was more cautious and snuck up by Bilbo and Helen. He spoke to Bilbo. Then eyes flashing with determination, he met her gaze.

She nodded in understanding, pushing Bilbo further back as her and Thorin darted out of hiding. She grinned wickedly as Thorin led her into the battle. Any thought of how cool it was to have Thorin lead a charge with her in it was brief, however, because three- larger than she expected up close- Trolls were swiping and grabbing at them.

Thorin grabbed a big tree branch from the fire, wielding it with ferocity. She took her sword and slashed and stabbed at the Trolls’ legs and feet and hands as they tried to grab at her and Thorin. One Troll took a swing of Thorin’s flaming branch to the teeth sending them flying through the air as the Troll screeched.

Helen ducked and dodged. Returning her sword to her side and taking her bow, she remembered that Legolas killed one with a shot through the mouth in the films. She took her aim as she danced around them. An arrow lodged in one’s eye making it screech as it clawed its face to try and remove it. She cursed at the miss, but had to dive out of the way to miss a great swing at her head by another.

She saw a sack fall over Thorin’s head, “Thorin!” She made to run over, but in her distraction she was picked up. She squirmed in the grasp of the now one eyed Troll and snarled, “Put me down, you Troll scum.” She kicked and hit but it only squeezed tighter. She gasped as the air left her.

She heard Fíli scream for her, “Helen!”

Her eyes caught movement and she knew it was Gandalf. She had to get free or she’d be stuck when they turned to stone. She grimaced before she leaned and bit the fowl hand holding her as hard as she could. It yelped and dropped her shaking its hand and yowling as she crawled away towards the sacked dwarves, gagging at the taste.

Then she heard Gandalf call out and stone cracking, and she knew they were saved. Standing, she abandoned the task of untying the dwarves and she ran for the nearest bushes. She hurled her supper (and then some). ‘0 out of 10, for the taste of Troll. Would not recommend,’ she groaned and hurled again.

 Bilbo and Gandalf had freed the Dwarves, and Fíli quickly went to Helen’s side. She gladly took the canteen Fíli offered her. She gargled and spit out the taste before repeating several times.

Fíli grimaced as he rubbed her back offering comfort and stopping her braid from falling in the way of her puking.

Gandalf watched Fíli’s caring over her with a knowing grin.

Thorin grunted as he came to stand by Gandalf, “ _You left.”_

Gandalf nodded, “ _Aye, to look ahead._ ”

“ _Why did you come back?”_

Gandalf grinned, “ _Looking behind.”_

Thorin chuckled then, “ _Thank you for rescuing us_.”

“ _It was no problem at all_ ,” Gandalf said watching the young pair curiously, “ _It seems I’ve missed a great deal in my short leave_.”

Thorin nodded, “ _Aye. She saved Kíli and Fíli’s life from drowning_.”

Gandalf’s brows rose, “ _Did she now?_ ”

“ _Aye_ ,  _she pulled Kíli from the river, and then Fíli, but he wasn’t-_ ,” Thorin cleared his throat, the feeling of losing his nephew still too fresh, “ _She beat on his chest and forced air into him, crying and shouting at him as she did. She fought off any who tried to come near or stop her. She was like a mountain lioness lashing out and snarling if we neared. I don’t understand how it happened, but she brought him round again. He was blue when she pulled him from the water_.”

Gandalf watched on as Fíli took his sleeve and wiped some puke from Helen’s chin. The woman looked green still, but gave him an embarrassed though grateful smile in return. Gandalf grinned watching it all.

Thorin sighed, “ _They have been like this since he came to_.”

“ _Is that a bad thing?_ ” Gandalf asked.

Thorin thought for a long moment, “ _I don’t know_.” Finally, he looked away from the pair and turned to Gandalf, “ _Why did you leave us_?”

Gandalf answered, “ _I confess I went ahead to secure our passage and give word of our coming. We will be welcome in the halls of Rivendell, and well taken care of._ ”

Thorin pursed his lips at this. He wasn’t fond of Elves. No Dwarf was. But Rivendell was where Helen was from, it was the Lord of that place that had met her wishes and gathered the shirts of mithril that now were proudly worn by himself and his nephews. He nodded finally, “ _Very well. I thank you_.”

Gandalf nodded amused at how the proud dwarf had accepted it so easily. His gaze then turned back to Helen. Fíli and she had been joined now by Kíli, but he saw how Fíli stayed closest to Helen. An interesting development, indeed, he thought as he approached them.

He greeted Fíli and then Kíli before looking to Helen, “Helen! I hear you’ve done a good deal of life saving today. And gotten a mouthful of Troll. I miss it all when I step away, it seems. Alas, I have good news and a gift.”

She turned a bit green again at the reminder of the Troll. With a shudder, she fought back the urge to hurl again, “I’d rather not think of the latter ever again. Thank you. As for the other, Kíli and Fíli went after a pony that spooked and fled into the river.”

“Yes, Thorin just told me,” Gandalf tutted, “You could’ve been killed yourself. No other can read the texts from your world, if you were lost, so too would all the knowledge of the future.”

She bristled, “No one can read it, but that’s not entirely true. Glorfindel knows now, though by accident; it was through a mind connection. But never mind that. What are you saying? That I shouldn’t have tried to save them? That I should stand back and wait and see what happens? You know why I joined this journey. My whole purpose is to save Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli.”

Rather than clarify his meaning, Gandalf decided now was as good a time as any to bestow his gift upon her. He had planned to explain his discovery and meeting with Elrond and Galadriel in Rivendell, but with no end to her ranting in sight, he figured, why not? If nothing else, it would likely be rather amusing just springing it on her this way and he was always looking forward to the chance to see something truly amusing now and again. He chuckled to himself and waved his staff which gave off a faint glow.

Helen didn’t notice, of course. She was too busy ranting and way too pissed off at the moment, “ _What would you have had me do, Gandalf? I could not stand there watching something happen that I knew would take place and not do something to try and stop it. The texts from those blasted books were too vague. Do you know what it said? ‘Oh, a pony is frightened. Oh, it runs into a damned bloody river. Oh by the way, Kíli and Fíli nearly drowned trying to save it.’ That’s it! Not how they nearly died only that that nearly do. Have you forgotten all I explained about how important they are? About how they are worth saving? Gods above, Gandalf, you cannot imagine what it is like to be plopped into a world of characters whom you love dearly from stories. To then not be able to talk to any that aren’t Elves. To be turned into to a damned Elf yourself, mind you!”_

It was then she began pacing as the emotional past few hours caught up with her and spilled out. _“Elves who aren’t really that popular with the people of Middle Earth! People are either suspicious of them or bloody annoyed at their prancing about on top of snow or over mud and the spotlessness! It’s not natural! Damned Glorfindel and his perfect hair even after fighting! Bloody ridiculous! No wonder everyone is irritated by elves! I did not ask for pointy ears! I did not ask for any of this!_

_I did not ask to actually care about all of you as much as I do. And I do care about you. About all of you. How could I not? I mean, there is Bilbo doing this to help others get back their homes at his own risk. Kind, sweet hobbit that he is, I would spare him the pain that lies ahead if I can help it. I care about faithful Dwalin, kind Balin, quirky Bifur, friendly Bofur, happy Bombur, intelligent Dori, clever Nori, and sweet Ori. And Thorin! He is even more ridiculously majestic than he is in the books. Like a grumpy, majestic teddy bear. And he is wise and kind, in his own adorably awkward way._

_Then there is Kíli who is probably the cutest thing on the face of this planet or mine or any other. How could I let a smile that bright be snuffed out? He is like a puppy! A sweet, adorable puppy, Gandalf. And Fíli! Fíli with his shyness and gentleness and loyalty and kindness. He wasn’t breathing! His pulse was-“_

Shuddering a breath, she closed her eyes swaying slightly on her feet, “ _He died. He had died and I performed a resuscitation method taught in my world. I made his heart beat for him and breathed for him, hoping it would kick start and begin again on its own. I failed him. I couldn’t stop them from entering the water. I couldn’t get him free in time. I knew it was coming and I couldn’t stop it.”_ Her eyes were watering when she opened them again, “ _Don’t expect me to sit back and fail them again. I am afraid I love them all too much. Too dearly. So don’t ask it of me again.”_

At the end of her tirade, she stood heaving and trying to calm down. Tears had begun to spill down her face during her rant and she wiped at them now. Her breath left her shakily and she noticed the flabbergasted looks of the company. Wincing in embarrassment, she avoided eye contact, “ _I’m sorry, Gandalf. It’s been a long, long day and I think it all finally caught up with me. I- I need a moment.”_

With that, she left the Trolls’ camp and headed back down the hill to where their camp had been. It would need to be torn down and the ponies brought up to the others. She needed space to calm down; it would give her busy work which was exactly what she needed. She was shaking with the onslaught of emotion. It had been an eventful night to be sure.

* * *

 

The company stood watching after her fading figure once more that night. Their mouths agape in bewilderment at what had just occurred.

Thorin was the first to find his voice, “ _Why could we suddenly understand her?_ ”

“ _I spoke to a dear friend while I was away. It seems that the Valar has more to do with Helen’s arrival in this world than I had previously thought. Champions come from surprising places and from within surprising people. As is the matter in such situations, sometimes all it takes for a wish to come true is a heart that is true and intentions that are pure. If the Valar judges it as a worthy cause stemmed from the right place, then there was a chance that Helen’s wish would be granted_ ,” Gandalf explained, “ _I merely opened the door so her hearts desires could be seen by clearly by the Valar. It seems they judged favorably for they granted her greatest wish at that moment._ ”

“ _And what was that?_ ” Fíli asked.

“ _To be able to speak with you all, of course,_ ” Gandalf stated as though it were obvious.

“ _So all that she said just now? She has no idea we understood it?_ ” Balin asked with a good deal of awe in his voice.

“ _You are correct, Master Dwarf. Helen was speaking from her heart. They are things she has spoken of a great deal, you all just couldn’t understand her when she spoke them,_ ” Gandalf explained.

Kíli snickered, “ _How embarrassed she will be!_ ”

“ _Kíli!_ ” Thorin scolded.

Fíli smacked the back of his head, “ _I think we’ve done her a disservice by not trusting her fully until this day._ ”

Thorin nodded, “ _No more. From now and to all Dwarven folk, Helen is named friend of Durin’s Folk. It is the least we can do for someone who seemed determined to save us in spite of ourselves. I’ve grown rather fond of her myself._ ”

A chorus of agreement went through the company. It seemed none could hold any dislike for someone who would risk her life for theirs, speak so passionately about the want to protect their lives, and who would weep for them so.

Gandalf hummed very pleased with the way things worked out. Clapping his hands together, he declared, “ _Well then, these were Trolls. Surely they have a hoard nearby._ ” And so, the company began looking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! That's better! So, as those of you who read it last night/this morning can tell, I uploaded it without the section after the line break. I hope this make the shift much clearer. Derp~ Anywho...
> 
> Yes this was short, but for good reason.
> 
> First of all, TROLLS! Loved writing that scene and laughed maniacally when Helen had to bite the Troll's hand to get free.  
> Secondly, HOW CUTE IS FILI WITH HELEN! #boyfriendgoals Am I right? I made myself a gooey mess on this one. He is too damn cute.  
> Thirdly, GANDALF THAT MEDDLING WIZARD!!! Did I or did I not tell you I was foreshadowing? Well, bam. Helen can now speak Westron. As for the how that happened, I'll explain in the next chapter, which will be much longer. In fact, all chapters will most probably be much longer now that I don't have to frame these very specific moments in this way.
> 
> So, coming soon, Helen realizes she can finally- FINALLY- talk to everyone and some FLUFF. All aboard the fluff train. Toot toot!
> 
> As a side note, I want to gently encourage (with vigor) that those reading the story pay close attention. Sometimes I use foreshadowing and other literary devices to give my readers hints that the characters aren't aware of yet. Also keep in mind that, as a reader, you will discover things as Helen does since she is our main focal point of insight. This is 3rd person semi-omnipresent meaning that I may allude to some insight of other characters minds but Helen is the one we are seeing things through. If you don't know why something is happening, ask away, but be aware it may be because Helen doesn't know yet either. :3
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> As usual, I made a thing... and this is the last chapter I can use it on. haha! https://www.polyvore.com/barrier/set?id=228825751


	16. Kili Has An Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding happens with Helen and the group. And Kili gets a wild idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, if you didn't double check, make sure you reread the last chapter. I uploaded it and then realized I didn't copy over the last half of the chapter. This one will be missing some stuff if you didn't catch the last chapter after I deleted and reloaded it.
> 
> For this chapter, keep in mind that Helen is speaking Westron, the Common Tongue now. Yay!

Helen returned on Aurora with the ponies in a long pack trail behind her. Lou trotted along glad to be near his owner once more. Nearing their new camp, she noticed that the area was vacant. She remembered about the Troll cave however, and so she began to unload the ponies by herself. She tied them off on a runner line between some trees to secure them for the night. Untying the tarp that she had wrapped around all the bedding to keep them all dry, she set the bundle near the blazing fire to await the others to reclaim their beds. For the first time, she noticed that the area was shielded pretty well from the rain. They’d have dry ground to lay on tonight and not the wet leaves of the forest. It almost made the Troll ordeal worth it… almost.

She cringed and got back to work. Better busy work than thinking of the taste of Troll. Once the ponies were unloaded for the night and everyone’s things sat in orderly piles awaiting their owners, she decided she should probably go see what they were all up to at the Troll hoard. She listened for the company’s voices knowing they were close by, and headed to where they’d be digging through the stinky cave.

Walking along the rock wall a ways, she discovered the opening in the cliff side and heard their voices from within. A light breeze blowing passed her made her freeze. She nearly stumbled into the bushes and barfed again. The smell made her stomach churn. It brought to mind the taste that had accompanied that smell, and she suddenly felt really ill. Groaning, she stood hunched over, hands on her knees and breathing through her mouth as she fought the urge.

“Helen,” Fíli called from near the cave.

She rose a hand in a wave but didn’t budge from her hunched over position. Instead she began cursing to herself about Trolls, “Damned disgusting things. They fucking stink. Oh my god, they stink. I cannot believe I had to bite that disgusting thing. Ugh, I’m gonna be sick again. I’m definitely gonna barf again. Shit.” As she groaned, she heard chuckling from behind her and huffed, “Don’t come near or one of the pretty heirs of Durin are going to have barf on their boots.”

He laughed, quickly trying to hide it behind a cough, “I never cared much for these boots anyway. Here, have a drink. It may help.” He held out his canteen.

She whirled around gaping at him, “You- You- I understand you!”

Kíli’s wide smile peered around from behind his brother, “Aye, lass, and we understand you.”

Her mouth opened and closed, looking between them, “But how?” Her expression fell slightly, “Have you… have you always been able to speak Elvish and just pretended not to?”

Fíli stepped forward grabbing her shoulders and meeting her eyes in earnest, “What!? No! We would never. That would have been cruel. I am speaking Common Tongue and so are you.”

She looked more confused, “Yes, it would’ve been very cruel. But then how?”

“Gandalf,” Kíli exclaimed, “He said a great deal about the Valar and spells and something about hearts.”

She looked to Fíli in confusion.

He smiled softly rolling his eyes at his brother as he tried to explain it as best he could, “He said that there was a way, but it could only be granted if the Valar deemed the person, their wish, and their intent as worthy,” he explained, “He did it before you left to get the ponies, when you were upset.”

She flushed a deep red, “So, you heard what I said?”

His thumbs rubbed circles into her shoulders, but Kíli beat him to it as he answered with a grin, “Every word.”

“Oh,” she looked down embarrassed.

“Hey,” Fíli said tilting her chin up, “Don’t feel that way.” The way she looked up at him through her lashes made him aware of how close they had been standing. He glanced away, hands falling to his sides. He cleared his throat before continuing, “I was glad to hear what you thought about us. I know the others were too.”

“Yeah! Uncle Thorin named you friend of Durin’s Folk!” Kíli exclaimed throwing an arm around her shoulder.

“Oh!” She said in surprise before realizing, “What does that mean?”

“It means that you are considered as good as a dwarf to Durin’s Folk,” Fíli explained, “and to others it states that you are protected by the Line of Durin.”

“If someone hurts you, we hurt them,” Kíli grinned clapping his hand on her shoulder, “You’re as good as one of us now.”

She took in a shaky breath, “Oh, oh wow. I feel… I think I need to sit down.”

Kíli chuckled, “Overwhelmed by all our majestic-ness, I guess.” Helen groaned and Fíli smacked the back of his head, “Ow! Fíli!”

“Majesty would be the word,” Fíli just tsked, “and don’t embarrass her, Kee.”

She just shook her head sighing, “It’s alright. I’m just overwhelmed that we can even have this conversation right now. From what I know about your culture, it’s very private and not keen to embrace outsiders. I’m just a tad bewildered by such a gesture. Bewildered and incredibly honored.” She grinned at Kíli, “And besides I only called Thorin majestic.”

Kíli pouted, “Aw come on! I am not some adorable puppy! I’m a warrior. I’m fierce! Do you think my bow is for show? Don’t smile like that!”

She laughed heading back to Aurora to take her saddlebags off.

Kíli followed to help as he always did now while indignantly shouting, “I am!”

Fíli watched on chuckling as Helen teased and giggled at Kíli’s indignation. If her words hadn’t made it so very clear before, it was plain to see in how she smiled at his brother that she was fond of them. His hand rose to clutch over his heart. It hadn’t stopped racing since he spoke to her. The way her proximity affected him made him curious and a bit nervous. Something had changed since she pulled him from the water looking like some otherworldly being weeping over him. Though in a way, he guessed she was otherworldly, being from a different world than theirs. Now hearing her voice, having her tease them so, being able to understand her, knowing how much she cared about the company and about him, he felt that pull strengthen more.

He didn’t understand why he felt the urge to pull her into his arms before. He had managed to appease the odd urge by holding her shoulders. Still, he wished just to feel as close to her as he had while she helped him recover earlier. He had never felt comfort in someone’s presence like that, not unless it was family. It had little to compare it to. Dwarven women were not exactly common. In truth, the only dwarrow dams he had seen were his mother, Gloin’s wife, and a handful of other older, married ones. He had never felt how he did with Helen around any of them. No, he usually felt not much at all around them.

The only similar thing he had to draw from was his mother’s presence. Helen radiated caring and acceptance in much the same way his own mother did, but that wasn’t quite the right way to describe it either. Whatever it was, it wasn’t something he had ever felt from being near another. It was new and almost overwhelming. It had blocked out any awe he may have felt for any of the treasures in the Troll cave. Speaking with her, hearing her humor and whit, earning a sweet laugh from her and watching her blue-gray eyes twinkle with mirth, those were true treasures.

* * *

 

The group had a slightly later start the next morning. They had stayed up late into the night talking. She was surprised to discover that the dwarves were almost as happy with the new ability to talk with her as she was with them, and they hadn’t hesitated to ask her a great many things that had not been able to be answered until then. Helen had lost her embarrassment quickly to the welcome onslaught. The dwarves and Bilbo asked many questions about her world and about her life. By the end of it all, she had retold most of her life and nearly everything from the moment she left for Zion State Park in her world to the moment they all could understand each other.

Several moments had been found to be rather funny to the company. Her confusion with Thorin when they were getting ready to leave Hobbiton had gotten a good many laughs. Though Thorin had slightly pinked cheeks as he explained that he hadn’t been sure she had food and couldn’t exactly ask. She thanked him for his thoughtful gesture in spite of his grumblings that it wasn’t necessary.

So, that morning was a slow going one for all. It took a while for everyone to fully wake up, but eventually, they traveled on leaving the Troll camp and headed into the thicket of the Trollshaws proper. It seemed that as they went on, the road was more and more overgrown. The road became a path and then was little more than a game trail. The going was rough though the rain had lessened greatly as they went. Unlike all the days of the journey thus far, that day was spent with Helen being involved in their conversations as well.

It was during one of the few breaks in the near constant stream of questions that Bilbo neared his pony to fall in step with Helen’s mount.

“Good afternoon, Bilbo,” Helen said as he fell in beside her.

He smiled looking about, “Indeed! Indeed, it is a good afternoon. I do believe the more we move forward the more we leave the poor weather behind.”

“Ah! You’ve noticed that have you?” she smiled, “That’s because we are nearing the hidden valley.”

He perked up, “So it is true? We go to Rivendell?” She nodded and he prattled on excited at the prospect, “Ah, I’ve heard many tales about that place. Fair no matter the time of year. No heavy snow nor wicked storm touches there in. For the Lord of Rivendell keeps it.”

“That is a clever little prose,” she said amused, “It is accurate too. The Lord there does keep foul weather from the valley. It is certainly the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.”

Bilbo puffed out his chest at her praise, “I don’t know if I’d say it was all that clever. I merely thought back on some descriptions I had heard.”

“You made that up? Bilbo, you are being humble. I think you have a lovely way with words,” she smiled fondly down to him. She always enjoyed the riddles and rhymes and songs Bilbo had created. “Perhaps, you should consider writing down some of your thoughts and poems,” she grinned, “Or perhaps write about your journeys?”

He flushed and stammered a bit, “Oh you flatter me, but I can’t imagine who would want to read those.”

Her grinned softened, “I think you’d be surprised.”

At that, Bilbo became lost in thoughts of hobbits gathering from all around to get a copy of one of his books and of great parties held in his honor. Helen watched as his face took on a flush as he drifted off. She chuckled at his starry eyed expression and hoped her seed for thought had been planted. She figured that since he would eventually decide to write his journey down, it wouldn’t hurt to give him a bit of encouragement in doing so.

Later that day as the sky began to darken, the company set up camp for the night once more. It was Fíli and Kíli, who had gone ahead to scout, that finally found a spot that provided some shelter from the sprinkling and cold night air. The spot was at the base of some boulders that made for a bit of a rocky overhang. Starting a fire that night was easy and so other than helping Bombur with dinner, Helen didn’t have much to do that night. Instead, she sat around the blazing fire enjoying the sound of Kíli softly playing his fiddle watching as the company wandered about doing various things. For the first night in a while, the company was relaxed. Helen let out a sigh as she soaked in the heat of the fire.

“You’ve been sighing an awful lot lass,” Bofur said. He had been sitting at a log near her around the fireside whittling away at a block of wood.

She grinned softly, “They are good sighs. Tonight is nice.”

He looked up at the starry sky that was mostly clear, “Aye, it is good to be fairly dry again.”

She laughed lightly, “It really is. I did my fair share of camping and spending long periods of time outdoors, but when the seasons changed, I’d put off such outdoor venturing until it turned better.”

“For your trade, if I remember right,” he said.

“Yes, I was lucky that my job allowed for me to get the urge to be outdoors out of my system pretty regularly. It was even luckier that often I was paid to do it, since I often had to go out for work,” she mused over her memories of her world.

He studied her a moment, “Do you miss it? Your work?”

“Hm,” she hummed, “Yes and no. The paperwork I don’t miss. The politics I had to deal with were pretty bad sometimes. I was young compared to my peers and the fact that I was female didn’t help very much. My field is predominantly male and much older. However, I enjoyed teaching people about different cultures. I enjoyed studying different cultures.” She looked around the camp, “But the part I most loved, I still have here.”

Bofur tilted his head, “What’s that?”

“The adventure,” she said, “I think this pales in comparison to any I ever had in my world.”

He grinned, “Yes, I suppose it would. After all, can’t say you’ve ever joined a band of dwarves can you?”

She laughed, “No, but now I can.”

“Aye,” he chuckled catching as she fiddled with the golden clasp of her cloak, “That’s a pretty trinket. Is it from your world?”

“Hm?” she looked down, realizing she was messing with the cloak brooch Glorfindel had given her, “Oh this? No. It was a gift from an elf in Rivendell.”

Bofur leaned slightly to see better, “That’s quite a gift, lass.”

“What’s a gift?” Kíli asked, finally stopping his playing. He set his fiddle down and moved to Helen’s other side as he joined the conversation.

“He was asking about this,” she said pointing to the gold brooch. Its three flowers held gems in the center and golden vines weaved around them.

“Ah, that is a nice gift,” Kíli said as he reached to turn it this way and that, “Who is it from?”

She smiled softly at him. He held no regard for her personal space like the others did. They always kept respectful distances physically. Kíli was endearingly innocent in his breeching of the bubble the others kept. She answered, “An elf of Rivendell. His name is Glorfindel.”

Bofur’s brows rose, “Oh, I didn’t realize you had a beau, lass. And a very doting one from the looks of it. Those gems looks like topaz and amethyst, if I’m not mistaken.”

Kíli’s expression was slightly pouty, “No, purple sapphires.” He glanced up at Helen, “You never mentioned him before.”

“No, no. Glorfindel and I are not like that.” She held it out pointing as she explained, “The design represents the Golden Flower. It is the name of his house.”

Kíli blanched, “He gifted you a token of his house?”

Bofur shook his head, “Lass, I think you may not understand the gesture as it was intended.”

“He wishes to make you _of_ his house,” Kíli clarified looking a bit sad about it.

She nodded slowly missing what the issue was, “Yes, that’s what he said. It was very kind of him considering that I had no one in this world. He said it would offer my protection among other things.”

Kíli’s face darkened and he clasped her hand between, “Aye, it’s the other things I’m worried about.”

“How could that possibly be a bad thing? Glorfindel is very respected. He may not be technically a Lord any longer, but he was in his first life. Did you know he died defeating a Balrog in the First Age and the Valar sent him back to Middle Earth?” she said increasingly baffled at their reaction as the conversation went on.

Kíli and Bofur exchanged looks. Bofur said, “And, he told you this, did he lass?”

She blinked, “He didn’t have to. I knew about it the same way I knew of all of you.”

Kíli wasn’t impressed, “Well, it seems a bit farfetched if you ask me. Sounds to me like a tale a man tells a woman to try to woo her.”

“Woo?” she laughed.

Kíli huffed, “Yes woo! If you can’t see that’s his aim then you must allow us to defend your honor, for clearly he used your lack of knowledge about some of the more delicate points of custom in our world to trap you.”

At first she blanched. Kíli was absolutely ready to defend her honor and Bofur looked ready and willing to do the same. Then her shock over the situation settled and she burst into laughter. Kíli dropped her hand startled at her outburst, looking increasingly offended.

Finally, she was able to breathe enough to form words through her laughter, “Oh goodness, no. You misunderstood. He gifted this to me as a heart-sister.” She wiped her eyes, “Now I understand why you both kept looking like that.”

“Heart-sister?” Bofur asked.

She nodded, “Yes, like an adopted sister. He claimed me as family, under his protection and gave me this to show for it. The House of the Golden Flower is a bit legendary to elves. He has become to me like Charlotte did in my world. He is like a brother, an older and bit of a pain brother.” She explained still snickering lightly.

Kíli deflated, “Oh, well that’s different then. Why didn’t you just say so? Would’ve saved the confusion.”

She giggled, nudging him lightly, “I thought I was being plain.”

Bofur chuckled, “No worries lass. It’s just one of those cultural things. It seems even understanding each other in speech, there is still some that will be lost in translation.”

She laughed, “I guess so. We will have to make sure to ask if we think something might be being misunderstood.”

“Aye, that would be wise,” Bofur agreed.

Kíli smirked then, “So does this mean you don’t have a beau?”

“Kíli!” she exclaimed as they laughed.

Any joke or retort was interrupted as Bombur called the company for dinner. Helen quickly forgot the conversation as others sprang up, but Kíli had not. He had an idea forming in his head. He only needed some more information before he could decide if it was a good one.

Helen failed to notice Kíli increasingly watchful eyes through the rest of the night. She had some important things to discuss with Gandalf and made her move after dinner when most of the company had taken to their pipes.

“Gandalf, I was hoping I could talk to you about a few things,” she said as she sat on the log beside him.

Blowing a large smoke ring that turned into a butterfly, he dipped his head, “Of course, I imagine there is a great many questions you have. I will do what I can to answer them.” He hummed, “Is it a matter of private then?”

“Oh no!” she looked around at the company all seated around the fire, “No, here is fine.” She chewed her cheek and asked, “When you went ahead to let Elrond know we were coming, did you speak with Galadriel?”

He nodded that he had. “It was she who told me of the way you might be granted the use of Common Tongue.”

“That’s another thing,” she said, “I don’t fully understand how that happened. Why would the Valar give me Elvish and then allow me to exchange their gift? Would they not have been offended? Like I wasn’t grateful or something?”

Gandalf ran a hand over his long white beard as he thought. The company waited as well for the answer for they too were curious. At last, Gandalf said, “I understand why this would trouble you, but you must understand that if the Valar did not wish it to be so, then it would not be so. No one can truly know the minds of the gods, but rest assured that they saw into your heart, saw the reason for your wish, and it was judged as worthy.”

She thought that over for a moment, “I guess thinking about gods and such is still a bit new for me.”

Thorin spoke up, “Did you not know of the gods in your world?”

“It’s a bit more complicated in my world,” she said, “Mine is a world of mortal men. The lifespan is at most around 80-90 on average. Rarely do any live over a hundred. Traditions and religions are so varied in my world. There is no original race of being who know and remember how the world was created. Here the elves can live always and dwarves live so very long as well. You are closer to your origins in this way. The tale has been passed on less times, so it has kept its true form.” She explained, “In my world where lives are short, traditions change over time. Peoples from other parts of the world will develop their own thoughts on how the world came to be and the powers that created it. There are so many. Wars are fought over who is right. People use their religions as an excuse to kill others by labeling them sinners. It is not always so clear in my world.”

Thorin seemed troubled at this, “Forgive me, but your world sounds awful.”

She laughed a dry little laugh and shrugged, “Yeah, it can be. But there is also a great many wonderful things. Acts of humility and kindness. Great innovation and discovery. Acts of love of fellow man. It’s not all bad, but it is not all good either.”

Gandalf patted her shoulder, “It sounds a good deal like our world then, doesn’t it?”

She smiled, “Yes, though this one is a little bit more magical.”

The wizard laughed.

Helen’s brows furrowed once more, “I still don’t understand why the Valar would grant my wish. It seems like a big thing to do for someone like me.”

Gandalf eyed her before speaking, “You think yourself not worthy?”

She looked at him in surprise, “Well, I mean- I-“ she sighed, “I know that to you all I may seem extraordinary being a woman from another world who knows so much about your world and what is to come, but in my world there are thousands of others just like me. Thousands of fans of yours and the company and this world. There are so many who would give almost everything to be here and any number of them could help you just as much if not more.”

The company all began speaking at once. Each making a comment about how there couldn’t be another like Helen and how they doubted any would be as selfless or as kind.

She shook her head smiling, “I promise you all that I am not being hard on myself or anything. I am just speaking the truth. You all have many, many fans who love you all dearly. People who can quote every word you speak –or would’ve spoken on the quest if I hadn’t joined. I’ve changed things in a small way by being here, but rest assured that what I’m saying is truthful and not self-depreciating.”

Gandalf spoke through the grumblings of the company, “Well, that may very well be the case. If you say it, then I trust it. However, you must not doubt that you were sent for a reason. Any number of people could’ve been chosen for the task, you’ve said so yourself. Yet the Valar did chose you. Think on that, hm?”

And she did. The whole rest of that night until she fell asleep, Helen’s mind turned that over again and again, but still she couldn’t guess why it had been her.

 

* * *

 

The next day the weather had completely cleared. The rain was now behind them and the biting chill lessened. Gandalf told them that they’d not reach the borders of the valley until the next day, but they were near enough to feel some of the effects of Elrond’s magic. The company and Helen continued to bond through talks as they traveled, with Helen even being invited over to help out with more tasks or to be shown various things. She had had a good conversation with each member of the group by now and it seemed that she truly had been accepted. Bilbo still had yet to gain their respect but Helen could now enjoy talking with him, which lessened the hobbit’s melancholy a great deal.

Unbeknownst to Helen, Kíli had been observing her closely. He still needed to figure a few things out, but he had observed a few very interesting bits of information.

It seemed that where ever Helen was within the group, his elder brother was nearby. While that may not seem all that surprising since they were traveling in a group, Kíli thought that may be why the others hadn’t seemed to notice it yet. Since it was Kíli that Fíli usually spent his time with, it was easier for his brother to notice the change in Fíli’s habits. It was the manner in which Fíli always seemed to be near Helen that caught the younger Durin’s attention.

If Helen was doing a task, Fíli seemed to be there offering his assistance. The time the pair spent cleaning their knives was a common thing now, but the way they seemed to lean in towards each other, shoulders almost flush, was new. When Helen was talking with another, Fíli had managed to find a way to keep her clearly in his sight. He hadn’t hovered around her, but it was obvious to Kíli that Fíli was drawn to her. He wondered if Fíli had even figured it out himself. After all, his brother was the more reserved of the two. Kíli was almost certain he’d be much more self-conscious of his actions if he was aware of his feelings. It was very possible he wasn’t aware of it yet at all.

Kíli knew his brother. He knew him better than any other. So, when he saw the way Fíli smiled at Helen when she spoke and the way he took in her laughter and smiles like they were precious gems, Kíli knew that he was onto something. Though he couldn’t say with as much certainty how Helen may feel, he saw enough blushes sent his brother’s way to make up his mind.

His idea might just work.

Later that evening, Kíli and Fíli had watch. They sat atop a boulder overlooking the camp and a good distance into the forest around it. Kíli had been stealing not so subtle glances at Fíli for most of the night. It had begun to drive Fíli a bit crazy.

Finally, he sighed setting down his pipe, “Alright, what is it?”

Kíli startled, “What is what?”

“Kee, you’ve been looking at me nonstop since dinner. You’ve obviously got something to say, so spit it out,” Fíli said in mild exasperation. He was used to his brother’s antics but there was only so much of Kíli’s fidgeting he could take.

Kíli turned his nose up in indignation, “I don’t know what you’re going on about.”

“Kee, subtly is not nor will it ever be your strong suit,” Fíli deadpanned.

Kíli fidgeted, squirming in his seat. At last he relented, “Fine. I do have something.”

Fíli chuckled shaking his head, “I figured as much. Well out with it then.”

“I spoke to Helen,” Kíli said.

Fíli rose a brow, “Yes, I think we all have. I’m guessing your meaning it’s the subject of that talk that I’d want to hear, no?”

Kíli grinned excitedly, “Exactly!”

“Kee, just spit it out,” he said chuckling.

Kíli leaned as though conspiring and whispered, “Bofur and me were talking to her and we found out something you might be interested to hear.”

Fíli rolled his eyes at Kíli’s antics but leaned in obliging him, “Oh, and what is that?”

“She is without a beau,” Kíli whisper exclaimed, eyes twinkling as though it was some great discovery. At Fíli’s lackluster reaction, Kíli added, “She is unattached. Single and ready to mingle, eh?” he elbowed Fíli’s side winking.

Kíli was ridiculous, but still Fíli felt his heart sputtering in his chest at his words. He sat up acting as though he wasn’t affected, “Yes, well, I don’t know why you’d think that would interest me.”

It was Kíli’s turn to look at his brother in exasperation, “Fee, we’ve all seen how you are with her.”

“Kind?” Fíli said as he went about reloading his pipe. Though he was flustered and distracted and stuffed way too much tobacco in, he had to dump it and start over, “There is nothing odd in that.”

“Balin is kind. Bofur is kind. Most everyone is kind, Fee. You are more than just kind and you know it,” Kíli said.

“Friendly?”

“Fee,” Kíli shook his head, “You are always around her. I watched you both and you both are draw towards the other. You like her and it is very likely she may like you as well.”

Fíli’s hands slipped and he nearly dropped his pipe, spilling all the tobacco he had just repacked. He sighed giving up, “Of course I like her. She is an easy person to like.”

Kíli tilted his head studying his brother a moment. He sat slightly hunched as though his shoulders were heavy, but that was normal for his older brother who carried much on his shoulders. The far off look and downward turn of his mouth as he stared off into the woods was not normal. His brother was more serious than he was, though always quick to laugh along with Kíli. Now though, Kíli saw something a bit sad in his brother that was new.

“Why does liking Helen make you sad?” Kíli asked after a while.

Fíli looked to Kíli in surprise. His playful brother was not known for his insight, but sometimes Kíli would do something surprisingly wise. He sighed looking away, “She’s not from our world, Kee.”

Kíli’s brows furrowed, “And that bothers you?”

Fíli shook his head, “No, but-“ He rubbed his beard, “What if she goes back one day? Then what?”

Kíli pursed his lips a moment, “Well, what if she doesn’t?” Fíli started to speak but Kíli shook his head, “No, no, hear me out. Sure, there is a chance that just like she came to our world, one day she might be sent back to hers. But what if she doesn’t? And even more so, what if she does?”

Fíli looked to his brother, “Kee, I’m not getting your point. What if she does, what if she doesn’t- that isn’t really helping.”

Kíli rolled his eyes, “Give me a moment. I’m not as good with my words as you and Thorin are, you know. What I’m saying is do you really want to pretend you don’t care for her when the time you may have with her could be limited? And if she never goes back, do you really want to be stuck wandering about what could’ve happened just because you were afraid?”

At that, Fíli sat back, “I’m not afraid.”

Kíli just rose a brow.

Fíli looked away sighing. Kíli had surprised him once again. He clasped his younger brother’s shoulder, “You’re growing up, aren’t you Kee?”

Kíli shrugged off his hand giving him a shove off the rock they sat on. He laughed as Fíli fell off, “Shut it. You’re just picking at me cause you know I’m right.”

Fíli chuckled from his spot on the ground. Standing and brushing himself off, he let out a sigh, “You may be right, Kee. But, but it is a bit scary.”

“What is?” Kíli asked.

“Possibly losing her one day. Telling her at all. Letting myself feel for her at all. Geeze, Kee, all of it,” Fíli said running a hand through his hair.

Kíli frowned, “If this is what love is like, I don’t think I want it much.”

Fíli stuttered, “L-love! I never said-“

“Ah, but you didn’t _not_ say it, did you?” Kíli grinned from atop the rock.

Fíli eyed his cheeky grin with an unamused look. He grabbed one of Kíli’s legs and tugged.

With an indignant yelp, Kíli fell to the ground, “Real mature, Fee. I thought you were supposed to be the grown one of the two of us.”

Fíli grinned, lighting his pipe successfully at last, “Yes, well, I had to speak your language didn’t I?”

Kíli huffed even as he grinned, “You’re an ass sometimes, Fee.”

“Ah, but I’m still the older ass, remember?” he chuckled reaching down to ruffle his brother’s hair.

“Ugh, I should’ve been the older one,” Kíli pouted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Viola! Lots more Fili and Kili goodness in this one. Some Fili and Helen cuteness. Some Kili and Helen cuteness. Some Fili and Kili cuteness. Cuteness everywhere! Kili is up to something. Fili has realized his feelings. Helen is forever gonna be at loss with these dwarves. I almost feel sorry for her... almost.
> 
> More soon! And onto Rivendell! Hazzah!
> 
> Also, someone messaged me about Helen cussing. And I just...? She is an adult. It is in situations where I think it is fitting. I don't think it is tastefully done or excessive at all. The story is rated T (for now >:3). I don't know what to tell ya. It's my OC, and in discovering her character, I've learned that she will cuss sometimes if she is mad or freaking out. Sorry if it bothers you, but I won't be changing the character or the rating... except possibly to bump it up much later... who knows. Definitely not bumping it down more though. This is an adult story about adults adulting in Middle Earth, so cursing and snogging (later) will happen. lol  
> Sorry not sorry!  
> Still love you though. ;)
> 
> Let's see. Here are some relevant (or unnessary, honestly idk if anyone even looks at these. Oh well) pictures!
> 
> Helen brooch from Glorfindel, cause I found exactly what I had in mind: https://www.polyvore.com/golden_flower_for_all_seasons/set?id=228831692
> 
> Reminders of how the Durins look in this fic. It's a fusion between Tolkien and the films, with the face claims being the same:  
> Fili: https://www.polyvore.com/fili_beard/set?id=228460654  
> Kili: https://www.polyvore.com/kili_from_books/set?id=228462554  
> Thorin: https://www.polyvore.com/thorin/set?id=228460439


	17. Weapons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some weapons make an appearance. Kili thinks he is the only one who knows... he isn't. The dwarves are not good at subtly. Helen misses things and some elves are gonna get it.

The next day they were told to keep an eye out for a path. Since Helen had never entered Rivendell from this way, she was little help. Gandalf explained that the path they were looking for was hidden and would be difficult to find.

They had scoured the area. They looked around boulders and along cliff faces, under bushes and through thick and thorny underbrush. They could hear the waters of the Bruinen River somewhere ahead, but the path to its shores were well concealed. The few glimpses they had of the river were always from impossible spots, mostly atop a great gorge and very far below. The company had grown tired and irritated. It seemed they had been possibly even going in circles.

“Gandalf,” Bilbo called looking haggard as he picked more twigs and leaves from his hair. He had just returned from another dead-end. He was often the one sent into hard to get through tickets, “May we not break for lunch? Perhaps we may have more luck after some refreshment.”

“It has not been long since we had breakfast,” Thorin said in irritation at the report the hobbit had given that the path did not lead down to the river. He was greatly annoyed that they were so close to their goal and had begun to think it was elvish magic that made their task so difficult. As such, his mood was poorly. “This is not the Shire, master hobbit. We have a great quest of which you’ve agreed to tag along on, so if you would, keep your mind on your task and not on your stomach.”

Helen frowned. She saw Bilbo wince at Thorin’s harsh rebuttal and felt a surge of protectiveness. “Um,” she cleared her throat, ignoring Kíli and Fíli who were making motions at her to not continue, “I wouldn’t mind the break either. I think Bilbo may be right in his thinking. Sometimes stepping away from the issue for a moment can let you comeback to it and see something you hadn’t before.” She fidgeted under the intensity of Thorin’s gaze, “I have a drink from my world I’d be happy to make for everyone? It is known for its energy boosting properties. Perhaps it may give us all a bit of a boost?” She finished weakly chewing her lip. She hadn’t wanted to overstep or insult Thorin’s authority, but Bilbo’s idea was a good one and likely what they all could use. If nothing else, maybe it would make them all less irritable.

Thorin finally released a sigh, seeing how nervous she was in waiting his reply. He dipped his head, “Very well. We will break for lunch. I am interested to see what this drink may be.”

She let out a whoosh of breath smiling at the kind look Thorin’s hard gaze had melted to. “I will get to making it right away. It is bitter but I brought honey along to sweeten it,” she prattled on excitedly as they set up a quick camp for lunch. Thorin had shadowed her as she went about preparing it, asking a few questions, but mostly entertained by her cheerful chatter as she worked.

Fíli watched on, from a short ways away, bewildered. Few had ever spoken up contrary to something his uncle had decided and not gotten swiftly put in their place. Thorin didn’t take kindly to a challenge of his authority, and though she hadn’t meant it in that way, her coming to Bilbo’s defense could have been seen as such if Thorin had the mind to see it that way.

A low whistle tore his attention from the small smile on his uncle’s face as Helen poured grains into a tin pot. “That lass is something else, eh laddie?” Dwalin said as he came to stand at Fíli’s side.

Fíli shook his head in amazement, “I’ve never seen anything like it. She has a way with people.”

Dwalin hummed before clapping Fíli on the back, “Aye that she does. A kind soul that one. It is a rare thing to find and she is a looker too, for an elf. She is something special, your lass.”

Face beaming red, Fíli sputtered, “My lass? She’s not- We’re not- I haven’t even-“

Dwalin fixed him with a firm look, “We all see how you are with her lad, even Thorin has noticed. If you don’t make your move, another will.” When Fíli bristled at this looking around the company with narrowed eyes as though to spot his competition, Dwalin barked out a laugh, “Not one of us, laddie.” He slapped Fíli’s back once more, “Just keep in mind that they don’t make ‘em like that every age, eh?” With another slap or two for good measure, Dwalin went to join the group around Helen as she worked.

Fíli was left standing mouth agape as the scent of lunch and coffee began to fill the air. He wasn’t entirely certain, because he wasn’t convinced he wasn’t dreaming, but he thought that perhaps he had just gotten love advice from Dwalin.

* * *

 

It was after lunch when they were all enjoying another batch of coffee that Helen decided that it was time to give the other gifts she had brought. She drained her cup before setting it aside her log she shared with Fíli and Kíli. “I, uh,” she spoke to the brothers, “When we met, I gave you some gifts. I actually had more things I wanted to give you. Things I had made for you, but there was never a right time. I wanted to be able to explain why I made them and well,” she tucked her hair behind her ear, “I couldn’t talk with you and then when I could so much happened. To be honest I kind of forgot about it all.”

Fíli watched her fidget as bashfulness fell over her. He found it sweet how she could throw her life on the line to save them, but it was the small acts of kindness that embarrassed her. He leaned his shoulder into hers, smiling gently at her when she returned the gesture, “I’m honored at your kindness, Helen. I’d be honored to see them.”

Kíli grinned as he agreed, “Truly, you’ve given us so much already. I’m sure we will love whatever you’ve made. Is it food? Cakes?”

She giggled a bit at his eager tone, “No, I’m afraid it’s not edible. I made you weapons. You two and Thorin.”

“Y-you made us weapons!” Fíli’s voice drew the attention of the company.

Helen flushed deep red when she noticed all the eyes on her now. “Uh, I- yes?”

Thorin stepped forward then since his nephews had gone red and lost all ability to talk. He cleared his throat, “Such gestures hold significance in Dwarven culture.”

She flushed and nodded, “Y-yes, I know.”

Thorin’s brows rose, “You do?”

She stammered, “Well, not much. Only that the exchanging of weapons is often ceremonial and almost always done at coronations, weddings, engagements, and a great many other significant state and private affairs. I wanted to do something that would express my regard for your culture and yourselves, and show that I came in good will and with only good intent in mind. I had planned to gift them along with your mail shirts, but, well, I hadn’t planned for not being able to explain why I was giving them. It seemed wrong to have my words filter through another. I wanted it to come from me to you.” She looked down feeling a bit silly at the notion, “Which seems kind of silly now. I could’ve just had Gandalf translate again.”

Fíli took her hands, giving her his soft, kind smile when she looked up, “No, don’t feel silly. I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we are deeply humbled by your gesture. It does mean more now than it would have then, I think. We know the heart its coming from much better now.”

She searched his eyes for any sign that he was just trying to make her feel less stupid, but all she found was warmth and all things good, all things Fíli. She gave his hands a squeeze before looking back to Thorin and the others, “I only brought the things I had made so far; I already had in mind what to make for a few of you and others I wanted input on first. As such, I only brought the things I made for Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli. I hope that’s okay?”

Balin chuckled, “Lass, you’ve unknowingly done exactly as should be done by custom. Royalty are gifted first in such exchanges, then it goes by rankings and age downward from there. It would’ve been likely that offense could’ve been made if you had done otherwise and had given them at our meeting as you had planned.”

She blanched, “Well thank goodness for that then. Honestly, you all should be proud to know that the books I learned about this world from had everything you could almost ever wish to know about every peoples of this world. Yet dwarven culture still was surprisingly hard to learn of. I’m glad to learn more about it now, even if it almost was at my own expense.”

A few chuckled at that. And she stood to go to Aurora’s saddlebags, she turned to ask for Kíli’s help, since he was the one who always helped her with her bags, but Fíli was being shoved in her direction by Dwalin, “Let Fíli help you carry things, I need Kíli for a moment.”

She blinked at the dark glare Fíli sent Dwalin’s way but nodded, “Oh uh, alright.”

Fíli followed her quietly to her horse, and she undid the many straps of her saddlebags. When one would get stuck, Fíli would help, his hands brushing hers. When it did, they’d glance shyly at the other. The silence ate away at her until at last she broke it, “I’m sorry he all but shoved you to help me. I could’ve gotten Bofur or even Gloin’s help.”

“No!” he said suddenly causing her eyes to snap to his in alarm. He spoke again sheepish, “I, uh, no, it’s no problem. I’m happy to help. Anytime really. If you ever need anything, now or forever- erm,” he stopped cheeks reddening. “I mean, not forever, but just as long as you live, er I live? Um… this is not coming out right, is it?”

She couldn’t help it. He looked so flustered as he stumbled over his words.  She had gathered what he was trying to say, but he was being impossibly cute about it. She giggled, placing a hand over one of his as they tugged and pulled at the straps in flustered frustration. His movements stopped as she did so, his eyes moving to hers. She smiled softly, “I know what you meant and thank you. I’m glad to know that if I ever need anything, you’ll be there to help. I promise I won’t be shy about asking for help in the future.”

He smiled at that, and she was pleased to catch sight of a dimpled cheek, “At your service, milady.”

She giggled again as they finally worked together to retrieve the largest and heaviest saddlebag.

* * *

 

Helen sat watching as Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli opened the leather wrapped bundles containing the weapons she had overseen being made. She chewed her lip nervous as the weapons were unveiled and examined by their intended owners.

Thorin held up a knife that had been made from the inspiration of her Bowie knife from her world. It had obvious elvish influence in its make and dwarven geometric designs and multicolored wood on its hilt. He held the blade up looking at the marbled metal, “This blade’s metal is most unusual. It looks molten.”

She nodded standing from her log to kneel on the ground beside Thorin. She took out her own Bowie knife that had been remade by the same smith. “This is not my original knife I brought here, but one remade with it as inspiration like yours was. However, as you can see, ours are very similar. The style and shaping of the blade is called a Bowie knife, in my world. It was named after a famous adventurer that lived before; he was the first to make such a knife popular. It is typically a hunting knife. It is good for protection as well. The marbling of the metal is a decorative style called Damascus.”

Thorin looked very intrigued as he studied the new blade, “Is the marbling good for defense? Does it weaken the metal?”

She winced, “I am afraid I do not know much about blades as far as warfare goes, my world uses different kinds of weapons for that, but I do know that due to the look, such blades are often ceremonial. I know it is used for hunting and outdoors, but for fighting, I’m not sure. I fear you may have to speak with the craftsmen to find out much more.”

Thorin patted her shoulder, “I believe I may request the introduction then. The work is very well done and the technique used on the blade is most intriguing.” He held up a small item and turned it over curiously.

She held out her hand as she offered to show him, “I wasn’t certain if you had these in your world, but the metalsmith seemed to have never seen them. In my world, they are the most common sort of knife outside of kitchen knives.” She explained as she unfolded it, “We call them pocket knives because the blades can be folded in making it safe to keep in your pocket.”

He took it back, opening and closing it several times. “This is new to me as well, but now that I have seen the simple mechanism, I wonder why it has not been thought of before.”

She grinned, “I find that a great many things are like that.” She watched as he examined the blade. It too was Damascus, but the shaping was similar to that of a leaf. The handle was much more elven in design, but she had asked that Durin’s crest be placed upon it. When he noticed the marking, he looked surprised and she sheepishly explained, “Since are of the line of Durin, I asked if it could be added. I hope it is okay. I drew it out as best as I could.”

He ran a finger over it, an upward curl at his mouth, “You did well.”

“I know it is a small blade, but in my world it is a bit like a multi-tool. We use it for everyday things,” she said as he folded it closed and placed it inside his outer coat.

“I thank you. I have no doubt it shall serve me well,” he said before taking up one of the last blades.

She took up the other, “These last two are actually twins. I have one like this that I wear concealed in my tall boots. I didn’t know if you had as many knives concealed as Fíli is known to carry, but I thought the end result was too lovely.”

Thorin turned one of the blades over examining it. It was a straight blade and narrow in width. The handle was a black wood and the detailing was golden. It had dwarven designs engraved within and a dwarven runic carving at the center. Thorin read it aloud, “Friend.”

She held up its twin and read its carving for him, “King.”

He looked to her in a bit of surprise.

She flushed looking at the blade in her hand, “I did say that I cared about you all before I even met you. I hope it wasn’t pretentious of me to put friend on the blade but I’ve considered you as such since my childhood, really. A dear friend, though I didn’t know you were real at the time. I hope that’s not weird… And, well, I know that technically you aren’t crowned a king yet, but I always found that silly. You’ve been leading your people for years. It takes more to make a king than a crown and a throne, or even a kingdom. You lead your people and are sacrificing so much for their sakes. In my eyes, you already are a great king.”

He blinked at the small woman before him. She wasn’t a dwarf, nor even of this world, and yet she had given him a great gift indeed. He felt a bit of the burden he always carried around with him lighten. He often lost sleep wondering what more he could or should have done for his people, wondering if his grandfather or father would be proud. It seemed odd for him to feel reassurance from her words, but he did.

Helen’s eyes widened as Thorin set the gifts down and pulled her into a hug.

“You are a treasure,” he said gruffly as he patted her hair, before pulling away. He dipped his head, chuckling at her wide eyed look, “Thank you, lass. I accept your gifts with honor. It has already been declared, but I wish you to hear it from me. You are declared Friend of Durin’s Folk. You will always have a place among our kind.”

Her eyes were watery as she nodded, “Thank you. I’m glad and relieved that you liked them. It is a bit daunting gifting weapons to master craftsmen.”

The company all chuckled at that, and Thorin gestured for her to continue the gift exchange. She stood brushing off her knees and moved to Fíli.

He patted to the spot between him a Kíli, waiting for her to sit before he opened his leather wrapped bundle. Inside were two larger knives and leather bag. The bag was covered in geometric designs and made of a dark leather. Fíli took it first and opened it taking out one of the items inside. He turned it over in his hand, “Throwing knives,” he grinned looking into the bag once more, “a whole set of them.”

She smiled, “Yes, 21 to be exact. It’s 7 x 3. I know that numbers hold meaning in dwarven culture. I picked these numbers because there are 7 stars that make up the crest of Durin and there are 3 heirs to that great line.”

Fíli chuckled softly, “That is very clever. Thank you. They are lovely. Uncle is right, the marbled blades are spectacular to look at. Truly molten in appearance.”

“I know you are fond of knives, so it means a lot that you like them,” she smiled softly looking down at her hands shyly.

“I love them,” he responded softly in return. The pair missed the exchanging of glances the company had at the moment the two were having, all softly spoken words and soft smiles. Gandalf was greatly pleased and gave Thorin a great wink when he caught his eyes. The elder Durin could only roll his eyes at the meddling wizard’s antics, though truly at this point he doubted the wizard had anything to do with the way his nephew and Helen were drawn to the other.

Meanwhile as the company snuck chuckles at the young lovebirds’ expense, Fíli had moved on to one of the large knives. He took it from its leather sheath and examined the shape of the blade, “Is this a Bowie knife?”

She nodded as he looked over the Damascus blade and handle, “Yes, it is. It is modeled after the more traditional shape of that style. The narrower point broadening to a wider width with the slight curve at the top is the way they were first modeled. It is a good hunting knife, great for slashing and such, but due it its narrow tip, it is a good stabbing knife as well.”

He checked the weight and the balance, “It is very well made. I think I would like to be introduced to the craftsmen as well.”

“I’m sure he’d be thrilled at that,” she chuckled.

He ran a finger over the carved crest of Durin in the handle and spied some dwarven runes on the blade, “Heir of Durin.” He smiled at her, “I shall treasure this always. Thank you.”

She smiled before urging him to check out the last one, “Don’t forget this one. It is my favorite of yours.”

He unsheathed it, noticing at once that it was a Bowie knife as well, though it had a odd feature on the blade.

“That curved hook part the is very sharp inside so be careful,” she said as he made to run his finger inside the curve. “It is called a gutter or a skinner. It’s used by hunters because it makes skinning and gutting an animal much easier and quicker. Though,” she thought for a moment, “I supposed it would in theory do much the same to an enemy.”

He hummed in thought as he checked it out, “It would give a nasty blow to be sure.” He moved the blade about trying out the feel, “It is well balanced as well.”

She was glad he seemed to like it, “Rilien, the craftsmen, made it a bit bigger than I was thinking.”

He chuckled, “It is nearly a short sword, isn’t it? I quite like it though.”

“I’m glad,” she said.

He found the dwarven runes, “Lion of Durin?” he looked to her curiously.

She blushed deeply, “Oh, uh, that, um,” she stammered. “That is something you are called by fans in my world, The Golden Lion or the Lion of Durin.”

“Like a mountain lion?” he asked curiously.

“Um,” her blush deepened, “Not exactly. You see, um, its because of your hair.”

“My hair?” he asked confused.

“Yes,” she nodded, reaching to touch his hair, “It is golden in color and you have a great deal of it. It’s like the great mane of a lion.” She realized what she was doing and snapped her hand back. She pretended not to notice his red cheeks because that would only make her own embarrassment worse. She rushed to explain, “In my world, Lions are the largest breed of wildcats. The males are huge and strong and have large flowing manes, most of which are golden in color. They are called the King of Beasts. And because you are strong and proud and a prince of your people, fans in my world associated you with it due to your golden mane.” She chewed her cheek, “It’s a good thing. Many great heroes and warriors of the past were associated with them. Uh…”

Fíli cleared his throat, still feeling a bit warm in his face, “I have never seen such an animal, but from what you’ve described, it is an honor to be associated with such a creature. Thank you, Helen.”

She released a breath, relieved that he hadn’t taken offense. “You are very welcome, Fíli. May they serve you well,” she glanced up to give him a smile before clearing her throat and turning to Kíli. “What do you say, pup? Ready to open yours?” She teased to ease her residual embarrassment.

The chorus of chuckles from the company helped brush away any lingering feeling from her as Kíli rolled his eyes, “Ah, I see how it is. Will my blade say ‘Puppy of Durin’ as well?”

She snapped her fingers, “Dang, such a brilliant opportunity missed. Sorry Kíli, I’m afriad I have to take them back and fix it as soon as we get to Rivendell.”

Kíli held into the bundle protectively, “No, no. That’s alright. I’ll forgive the mistake this once.”

She laughed shaking her head, “Open it already, you dork.”

He winked at her as he went on to do just that. A gasp left him as the contents were revealed. Two knives and a bow sat inside. He ignored the bow for now and took the smallest knife, unsheathing it, “Wow, the blade is really neat, isn’t it? This Damascus thing is pretty to look at.”

She smiled, “I’m glad you think so. That one is a small boot knife.” She gestured to the one he then held. It was the same straight and narrow blade as Thorin and Fíli’s boot knives had been. Its handle was a darker wood with golden rivets dotted around it giving it a unique design. The hilt cap was golden as well, with the crest of Durin carved in.

“I love it!” he exclaimed as he turned it this way and that. He resheathed it and took up the next one. It was larger and once he unsheathed it he saw that it was a Bowie knife, “Oh neat! I was hoping for one of these.” He said he he checked it out. Pointing to a hook atop the blade he asked, “Is this one of those gutter things?” She nodded that it was and he grinned, “Oh that would make a nasty wound, wouldn’t it?”

She laughed as he faked a jab at nothing, “I will leave that area of expertise to you, but I certainly wouldn’t want to be at the business end of it.”

He chuckled at that and read the runes on the blade, “Heir of Durin,” he grinned and spotted his personal crest, “Hey look at that! You knew of my crest?”

“Ah, actually, that was something that the movie version of your story created, but I’m glad it was accurate,” she chuckled sheepishly, “I though it was a lovely design and wanted it added. How lucky that it truly is yours.”

He beamed, “What are the odds? I love it. Truly. Thank you.”

She nodded and then giggled, “Oh go on, you know you want to look at the bow.”

He resheathed the blade careful and then excitedly picked up the bow, oohing and aahing over it.

Fíli laughed at his brother, “Honestly, I’m impressed he managed to wait until the last.”

Kíli hushed him as he stood checking out the draw of the bow, “Helen, this is glorious. It is s light to pull. Can it do much damage?”

She grinned wickedly at that, “I tested it myself. It puts an arrow through a shield of steel at 100 yards with absolute accuracy.”

Kíli gushed, “100 yards? Through steel?”

She nodded, “Rilien went above and beyond with it. The design is called a combination, for it takes the best things about longbows and recurve bows. The craftsmen, however, took my bow and managed to perfect the concept. The result was such that he was asked to make some for the wardens of Lothlórien in the Gooden Wood as well as some for the Rangers of the North. Yours, however, was the finest he made.”

Kíli ran a hand over the dark wood in revere and awe. “It is beautiful,” he sighed as he saw how gold had been set into the wood. The designs were dwarven and he spotted some runes made from gold as well, “Archer of Durin.” He grinned, “I love it.” He sat it down and wrapped his arms around her giving her a twirl.

She laughed, “Kíli, you’re going to make me dizzy.”

Kíli got a wicked thought and spun her once and twice more before setting her down and gently nudging her towards Fíli. She stumbled into his chest. Fíli catching her. Kíli grinned as Fíli checked her over to make sure she was okay, “Opps.”

Fíli sent his cheeky brother an unimpressed look.

“I’m fine,” she said giggling, “Your lucky I don’t get as dizzy as I used to as a human. I would’ve barfed all over you then.”

Fíli chuckled, “What is it with you and threatening to hurl?”

She feigned a swoon, raising her hand to her forehead dramatically, “I’m a dainty lady. We are prone to swooning and hurling.”

Kíli scoffed out a laugh, “With traits like that it’s no wonder Fíli is fallin-mmph!”

Fíli slapped a hand over Kíli’s mouth looking a bit flushed, “Oh look at the sun! Thank you for the gifts, Helen! Time to pack up and carry on. Roads to find. Paths to discover. Hidden valleys to unhide.”

She blinked as he practically drug Kíli away towards the ponies, his grin a bit too wide as he did. A hand fell on her shoulder and she glanced up to Gandalf, “What was that about?”

“Hm? Oh you know dwarves. Give them something shiny and they get a bit excited,” he said nudging Balin as he did so.

Balin coughed and nodded, “Oh yes! Yes, indeed. Treasures will do that to a dwarf.” He cleared his throat sharing a look with Gandalf as the pair wandered off towards their own mounts.

Helen shook her head and wondered if perhaps the company was in greater need of a good rest than she had thought. It was with that thought that she began to help clean up and get the company back on the road.

* * *

 

Hours later and the company was growing increasingly agitated once more. They had spent the hours since lunch searching for the path down to the river. Only to discover that once they did find a way down to its shores, they could now not locate the passage across it. Thus, they had been combing up and down the banks for hours.

They had pushed further down than before when singing drifted down from the treetops. It was elvish singing, if the comments from the company was anything to go by, but Helen realized with a jolt that she couldn’t understand them any longer.

Helen looked to Gandalf in confusion, “I can’t understand them.”

“No,” he said, “Nor will you ever again. It was something you traded in order to have the gift of common tongue.”

Fíli looked to her sadly, “I’m sorry you won’t be able to understand your friends.”

She only smiled shaking her head, “Don’t be sorry. It was worth it.”

He smiled in return.

“You’ll still have the common tongue to speak with them, child,” Gandalf added.

She nodded, “See? Everything is much better now.”

The dwarves were humbled and pleased at that. Though the elven singers had switched to common tongue and soon it became clear their pretty songs were teasing jabs meant for the dwarves.

Thorin’s brow twitched but he kept silent as did the others. She was impressed at their self-control. The movies had made the dwarves seem much more combustible in their anger towards elves, but so far, they were merely frowning as they rode on. The lot of them minding their manners. Helen, however, was sending scowling looks into the trees.

It was then that an elf made himself known. He plopped down from a tree and she thought she recognized him from Glorfindel’s men.

“Gandalf! If it is Rivendell that your company seeks, you should be informed that you’ve passed the passage over the river. It lays much further back behind you in the direction you came from,” the elf spoke with a smirk earning some snickers from his still hidden companions.

Her eyes narrowed, “Tell me, is Glorfindel aware his guards are taunting expected guests of Lord Elrond?”

The elf’s eyes snapped to hers and widened. He recognized her as a close friend of Glorfindel and the twins, “Gohenon nin, Hiril Helen.” (My apologies, Lady Helen.)

She looked to Gandalf who seemed amused, “He offers his apologies.”

The elf looked to her confused, “Mana?” (What?)

She shook her head, lips pursed, “I’m afraid I no longer am able to speak Elvish. I traded the gift for that of the common tongue.”

“But why?” the elf asked incredulously in the common tongue.

“You may find it hard to believe, sir, but there are others in this world just as worthy of conversing with as elves,” she spun Aurora around then calling over her shoulder as she trotted off, “Good day.”

The other dwarves followed her after a moment of staring in shock and humility at her fierce defense of them. Gandalf watched amused before turning back to the thoroughly scolded young elf, “Good day, indeed. Might you show the way?”

They followed Helen back along the river looking for the way. The scolded elf from before caught up and quietly showed them across, face flushing deep red in shame as the jeers and teasing continued from the elves still  hidden in the trees.

Helen’s fist clenched, her grip on the reins tighter and tighter, until at last they reached the first bridge. They had to dismount to go across the narrow bridges leading to The Last Homely house. She handed her reins to the young elf who bowed and refused to meet her glare before scurrying away. She let the others go over first, shooting glares into the trees and nearly snarling when one called out to Thorin, who like the other dwarves, was nervously crawling across the narrow bridge. The memory of the river and the heirs nearly drowning still a fresh memory.

The elves jeered at Thorin, “Careful, father!” They snickered, “Your beard has enough foam already!”

She stomped across seething and muttering curses and threats to teach them all manners.

Kíli chuckled as they all brushed themselves off, “She is mighty fierce when mad, eh Fíli? Don’t you think her rather fetching all riled up like that and ready to defend our honor?”

Fíli elbowed his brother, “Hush and behave yourself.” He muttered, “Besides, she is always beautiful.” He immediately turned deep red earning a satisfied smirk from his brother, “Shut up Kíli.”

Helen had heard his slip and nearly tripped. Her scowl instantly replaced by a deep blush. Luckily, it wasn’t noticed as they had arrived at the front of the House of Elrond. Its large doors were open and welcoming. The Lord himself coming down the steps with a warm smile, “Well met and welcome, guests, Gandalf and Helen. We’ve been expecting you. Please come and find rest from your journey and food for your bellies.”

Thorin stepped forward giving a bow, “I thank you, master elf.”

“And you are welcome, master dwarf,” Elrond returned the bow, “I am Lord Elrond, and this is my Homely House. May you find rest within its walls for as long as you wish to remain.”

“Thorin Oakenshield,” Thorin stated giving another bow, “Your generosity is much appreciated.”

Helen watched the exchange very pleased indeed. This was better than she had dreamed to hope. Thorin and company were perfect gentlemen. It was only the elves who taunted them that she had to feel shame for.

Elrond turned to her at last and opened his arms, “Melda mellon, elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo.” (My beloved friend, a star shines on the hour of our meeting.)

She accepted his offered hug and shook her head, “I can no longer understand Elvish. But it is good to see you again.”

“Ah,” he stated as he pulled back, hands on her shoulders, “Mithrandir had stated that you wished for the gift of the Common Tongue when he visited us briefly. I’m glad the Valar judged your wish worthy.”

“I am too. Things were interesting not being able to communicate,” she grinned as several dwarves chuckled at that.

Elrond offered her his arm then and addressed the group once more, “Come, friends, let us show you to your rooms. There will be a feast tonight.” He looked to Helen, “I look forward to hearing all about your adventure, dear one. I am sure there are several others itching to see you again.”

“Are the twins back then?” She asked smiling as they walked.

“Indeed, and they’ve been nagging about being allowed to be sent out to meet you ever since.”

She winced at that, “I’m sorry for the trouble. You understand why I can’t allow that. It could change-“

“Too much,” he nodded patting her hand on his arm, “Yes, yes, young one, I know.” He smiled down at her as he gestured for the others to follow and lead the company into the Last Homely House.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet y'all thought I forgot about those weapons she had made for the heirs of Durin, didn't ya?   
> *waves arms around*glitter and smoke fills the air* I never forget. *exits stage left*
> 
> ANYWAY~  
> Kili was not the only one to notice, nor even the first. Thorin spotted Fili and Helen's connection right after the river. But it seems that several have decided to give the pair a gentle, but not at all subtle, nudging. I did not plan for that Dwalin scene, but I am so damn happy with it. Dwalin makes me laugh and the thought of him giving love advice was just too funny to pass up. Kili is so not subtle at all. I don't even think that is in his dictionary, but he is kinda clever. Make her dizzy so she falls into Fili's arms. Fili would've appreciated it if he wasn't busy being a worry wort. 
> 
> The weapon scene might have seemed drawn out and made into a huge deal, but I promise it is VERY important. The reasons for it will be revealed later on, but trust me that this is huge. I did give some hints, however. So we shall see who catches them. ;)
> 
> I kept the elves teasing the company the same as Tolkien wrote it. I just added a pissed of Helen to the mix. They are gonna hear it from Glorfindel by the time she is done. They'll be lucky if she doesn't kick some butts too.
> 
> Who else was proud of how the dwarves stayed cool though? This is also more similar to Tolkien's description. Peter Jackson's dwarves would've taken to arms, but in the books they are much more civil.
> 
> More coming soon. However, I've been playing around for a bit of a heated moment between Fili and Helen. Too soon? Or....? Input is requested!
> 
> Thank you guys!
> 
> Oh and pics of the weapons:  
> Thorin: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=227811908  
> Fili: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=227812980  
> Kili: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=227808435


	18. A Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kili is really sneaky and Helen faces the facts. Also... Fili and a towel. That's all I'm saying.

The dwarves were given rooms for each, though some chose to group up together once they saw how huge the beds were. Though they had been well-mannered, they were not entirely comfortable to be alone in a house of so many elves. Bifur and Bofur chose to stay together; Bombur would’ve been glad to join but he was too large to comfortably share. Instead, he took the room next to theirs. Gloin and Oin also paired up, as did Nori, Dori, and Ori. Dwalin, Balin, and Thorin each stayed in their own rooms. Fíli and Kíli choose to share, though that was because they didn’t like to be parted if they didn’t have to and not so much due to distrust. Helen seemed to feel they were safe here, and they trusted her fully.

Helen had been walked to her previous rooms by Elrond. As promised before she left, they were untouched, only the bed was freshly made. She checked her hidden things and found them all unmoved. Her packs and saddlebags she had taken were already brought up from the stables and were resting upon the chest at the base of her bed. Once Elrond parted with her, she went about changing out of her dirty travel clothes. She was looking forward to a proper bath after spending the past two months washing in streams when she was able. Her clothing she had worn from her world was just not as well made for life really living outdoors in such rough conditions for so long. She sadly tossed the thread bare shirt and her favorite archery corset belt to the ground. Her pants fair little better. They too were at their limits. It seemed only her boots had made the cut, and she was very grateful for it. She’d have to get some clothing made before the company left Rivendell. All she had left from her world were two of her favorite sweaters and she didn’t want to ruin them on the journey.

Luckily, her colder weather gear was better made than her warm weather gear. Odds are she’d be much warmer than most because of it. She’d have to get a few items made just in case something didn’t hold up, but she felt confident enough in it to take along. She’d unpack and repack her bags for colder weather gear later. Right now, the freshly drawn and still steaming bath was calling her name.

* * *

 

The whole company had washed and changed into fresh clothing as they were led into the Hall of Fire for dinner. There a table had been elegantly laid out with all manner of foods and Elrond welcomed them with a wide grin, “Welcome Honored Guests. Come and enjoy the harvest of my peoples. Come and listen to our song and be not weary any longer for this is the Homely House and you are welcome here for as long as you may wish it.”

The dwarves were very pleased at such kind words of welcome and sit they did after an extended bout of bowing and well-wishing. Only then did it quickly come to their attention that all of the foods were greens and fruits and veggies and not a pinch nor bite of meat was to be found. The famished dwarves were sullen then indeed, but for Helen’s sake, they said not a word and forced the leafy bits into their mouths with forced smiles and complements on their tongues.

Gandalf, having noticed the dip in their morale and the cause of it, was far too amused. Helen had more sway over the dwarves than she realized, for he was certain they’d have something to say if not for her. The hobbit of the group was very pleased with the spread. Bilbo was very pleased with everything he had seen of Rivendell thus far and deemed it truly the fairest of lands with the best of hosts. Hobbits were fond of most any food and a good harvest they liked best. He ate his fill of veggies and fruits and listened in raptured awe to the elves around him.

Thorin spoke with Lord Elrond and Gandalf politely, though he spoke not of the journey. The rest of the company talked amongst each other while forcing themselves to eat. Kíli and Fíli looking around for their missing member as they did.

It was then that several exclamations of “Helen” were heard from down the table.

Elladan and Elrohir all but ran towards Helen, who had cleaned up and worn a dress for dinner.

Helen sputtered indignantly as Elladan and Elrohir each spun her around in a crushing hug. Squeaking about wearing a dress, she scalded them through her giggles, “You two oafs! Put me down or you risk flashing my undergarments!”

The pair snickered as she gave them each a smack to the arm.

“Forgive us, Helen,” Elrohir stated through his laughter.

“We’ve missed you something awful,” Elladan said, “Glorfindel is not as fun without you here to make him less sulky.”

“I beg your pardon,” spoke said Lord from behind them, “I do not sulk.” Ignoring their snickering, he wrapped her in a crushing hug, “Heart-sister, how have you been? Tell me all about your journey.”

“Good grief,” she laughed as she returned his hug, “You three act like I’ve been gone forever.”

“Can you blame us?” Elrohir chuckled as they guided her to the table.

“You’re the most exciting thing to happen here in an age,” Elladan said grinning.

She rolled her eyes as she took her seat.

“You can start with why you can no longer speak Elvish,” Glorfindel said as they began to eat.

* * *

 

Fíli’s food fell from his fork as he stared at her in open-mouthed awe as she entered the room. His heart sputtered in his chest as he took in her appearance. She was wearing a dress of gray velvet in the elvish style, its sleeves long and billowy. He saw her hair had been styled up in a more intricate way than her usual simple braid, emphasizing her pale skin and lovely neck. There were tiny glints of gems shaped like star bursts scattered through her light brown tresses. It was subtle and all things lovely, just as Helen was. He wished to pay his respects to her handmaiden for not drowning her in the complex head dresses many of the elven ladies wore. Her simple adornments only emphasized her beauty instead of drowning it out. She looked beautiful in her traveling clothes, but now she looked like some ethereal being. She was lovely beyond any jewel or gem he had ever seen. He wondered if he’d ever find such trinkets as things of beauty again for she far out shown any.

His stomach dropped as he watched the warm exchanges between Helen and the three male elves. They had embraced her with such familiarity and ease, where as he could hardly make extended eye contact without his face flushing. She seemed so at ease with the three, and he realized with a pang that while she was by far the loveliest things he had ever seen, he was far from the grace and beauty of an elf.

He wasn’t blind. He could easily see how beautiful the faces of the male elves were, even Kíli had confused a he-elf for a female earlier. All elves seemed to radiate beauty and grace. He suddenly felt silly in his growing affection for her. She was something special, a being from another world brought to theirs. She was kind and lovely and wise and selfless. She had been turned into an elf, he reminded himself, not a dwarrow dam. Surely that meant that her fate lay with that kind and not his. With a pained heart, he pulled his eyes away from her face glowing from her laughter.

* * *

 

Once dinner was done, Helen was informed by the twins that tonight was the start of the long celebration leading up to the Midsummer Festival. She quirked her brow. That meant a good two weeks of pre-celebrating, which was ridiculous but so very like the elves of Rivendell. She imagined they were nearly as bad as hobbits were thought to be for their want of reason to feast and dance.

With the clearing of the Hall, the dancing began. Elladan and Elrohir were causing a ruckus, and she laughed and clapped along with their off-beat but enthusiastic jig. Glorfindel, she was pleased to see, had two familiar elven ladies on each arm. Both seemed to have warmed to Helen as well for they were sending her happy smiles, which she returned. With the merry making underway, she went off in search of members of the company, wishing to make sure they were enjoying themselves. The twins and Glorfindel had taken her whole attention during dinner wishing to hear her tales about the trip and she found herself missing the dwarves a great deal. She had gotten used to having them around and it seemed odd now without them surrounding her.

She found Oin, Gloin, Bifur and Bofur seemingly in a drinking contest. She cheered them on, along with some elves who were watching. Bofur won standing to bow to his audience, swaying slightly as he did. Bombur, Dori, and Ori she found at a table enjoying some meats she had requested be offered to the dwarves. They thanked her merrily for the consideration; she informed them that she had told Elrond of their love of such protein and was assured they’d have plenty during their stay. Balin, Dwalin, Thorin, and Gandalf she found enjoying a smoke and talking amongst themselves. She spoke with them for a while, before looking for Bilbo, Fíli, and Kíli. The latter two she couldn’t find, but Bilbo she found with Elrond.

“Have you seen Kíli and Fíli?” she asked Bilbo after discussing the best paths for walks to see the many lovely sights of Rivendell.

“No, not since they stated the need for some air,” the hobbit replied.

“One seemed ill at ease,” Elrond explained, “I suggested fresh air in the courtyard or the sparing ring if they wished it.”

“Kíli,” she murmured concerned. She wondered if he had too much to drink and might be feeling ill. Elvish wine was strong. “Thank you, my Lord,” she bobbed a curtsy, “Bilbo,” she bobbed again before darting out the doors.

Bilbo stared after her bewildered at having been curtsied to.

Elrond seemed thoughtful. “Tell me Master Bilbo. Does Helen get on well with the company?” He asked the hobbit.

“Huh? Oh, yes! Though not always. When she showed up at my house there was a great deal of yelling. I shant repeat the things that they had said, but it was quite the sight. She had been very sad about it. Luckily, Gandalf was able to help her smooth things over somehow,” Bilbo said.

Elrond looked to the hobbit, “Her gifts changed their view then?”

“Gifts? Why no. She gave them some mail at the beginning and they seemed surprised by it, but there was still some hesitance between them,” he explained, “Why, I don’t imagine they really took a shine to her until she jumped into the river after Fíli and Kíli. She saved their lives, you know. Drug Kíli out of the water and brought Fíli back from drowning. He was blue. She breathed the air right back into him, weeping as she did. Yes, I think they all grew to care for her fully and truly then. Between Thorin, Fíli, and Kíli especially. She is quite fond of the lot of them, I’d say,” Bilbo nodded and a silence followed for a short time, “Now back to that method of enriching the soil…”

Elrond spoke with Bilbo about all the techniques utilized by the gardens of the valley, yet his mind was pondering over a question. He had seen some interesting glances exchanged during dinner. Helen and one of the younger dwarves seemed to have a pulled between them. It was most interesting to be sure. He’d have to pay attention to see if his hunch may be right. If so, there would be some things to consider. He wondered if perhaps Gandalf might be able to shed light on his concerns.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Helen ran through the halls. She flew passed elves, shouting her apologies at their startled exclamations as she swerved around them. She had checked the main courtyard. Though there were many, so she checked all the ones she could find to be sure. She checked the training grounds too. And the stables. She was growing increasingly worried when she finally thought to check their rooms. Her basket of warm towels had now long gone cold, but the menthol rub and her herbal teas could still be made if he needed some relief for overindulging of drink.

She knocked on nearly every door down their hall until finally a door opened. She stood panting, “Kíli!”

He looked startled at her appearance, no doubt disheveled, “Whatever is the matter?”

“You’re ill!” she panted catching her breath, though as she looked him over see noticed with confusion that he looked fine, “You’re not ill?”

“Should I be?” he asked in confusion.

“Well no, but Elrond said that you and Fíli left cause one of you was ill and I thought that you had perhaps too much to drink…” she trailed off, “But you’re clearly fine, so…” Her stomach lurched, “Fíli?! Is he okay?”

“Fee? Oh he is in here?” He nodded over his shoulder before grinning.

She flushed, “When Elrond said one of you seemed unwell, I wanted to be sure you had something to help with the effects. Is he well? Does he need water? I’m a bit surprised it is Fíli, but then again, I suffered my first time drinking elvish wine as well.”

“I don’t know if I should take offense to that, but you are right. I have that kind of luck,” Kíli’s eyes twinkled a bit, “Well, it is a good thing you came prepared then. I was just about to go fetch something myself.” He opened the door and let her in, “Come on in. I’ll just be in my room across the hall if you need anything.” He made to leave only to whisper, “And don’t worry, I’ll keep the others in the dark, yeah?”

She blinked, “Uh…”

He winked and shut the door.

She stared at it not entirely sure what that was but feeling it better to just leave it be. She had Fíli to worry about. She turned and went about hanging the now cold rags near the blazing fire to heat them back up. She got the kettle of water she brought and set it over the fire on the kettle hook.

“Fíli?” she called, “Are you feeling okay? I brought some things. Kíli said he was about to fetch something to help but it seems I found you just in time. No doubt more strong drink would be his idea of a fix.” There was no answer and she looked around the room. Both sides of the very large bed had been turned down and she spotted Fíli’s boots on one side and Kíli’s on the other. She was wondering why he’d leave them if this room was across the way when the sound of feet padding across the floor drew her attention.

“Hey Kee, you’ve got to try the bath. It’s ama- Ah!” he let out a manly yelp clutching tightly to the towel slung around his hips.

Helen, however, had lost all brain function. Sucking in a breath, she stood mouth agape, eyes raking over the sight. He was like a dwarven version of some Viking based romance novel cover. His moustache looked the same but his hair was free of its braids and hung loose about him in a golden wavy mane. She had an itch to run her fingers through it. His broad shoulders and barrel chest narrowed only slightly into his waist. Thick golden hair covered the expanse fading lower on his torso except a line of it that stayed thick down the center, around his belly button and disappearing beneath the towel. His abdomen was all muscle, a prominent V leading downward making her mouth feel dry and her knees a bit weak. His lower half was covered by the towel, but his wide bare feet were visible beneath. He was broad and muscled; the power and strength he held plain to see. She felt very small in comparison, and the thought sent a shiver through her in a very good way.

Her eyes raked slowly back upwards as she struggled to get her brain and her mouth to work together once again. “Uh,” she forced her eyes away from certain parts gulping, “I, uh,” she cleared her throat as her eyes hungrily took in his torso again, “I brought, uh, tea,” she took in his muscled arms and collarbone and neck, nearly fainting when a droplet trailed down it, “for your, um, water,” she blinked, “I mean, the hangover tomorrow.” She met his eyes finally.

His face was flushed red, and she almost thought him mad, except for the look in his eyes. They were molten and impossibly blue. She noticed his chest was heaving as he watched her watch him, and she realized her breath had picked up as well. Her heart hammered in her chest. As she tried to remind herself that he was likely drunk and likely flushed from that and not because of her. She licked her lips, drawing his immediate attention to them, as she started to apologize for ogling him. The shrill whistle of the kettle made her jump.

“Tea!” She exclaimed as she scurried back to the fireplace, pulling the kettle from the fire and putting in two tea bags. She felt hot suddenly and tugged at the neckline of her dress, “Elrond mentioned you looked unwell and Kíli, um,” she saw him walk closer from the corner of her eye and began rambling, “and Kíli said he was just about to grab something for you before I showed up. So, I uh, I brought hot towels and menthol ointment. They will help ease the side effects of the alcohol.” She turned around then to grab a mug, “Oh!”

Fíli stood right behind her now. Close enough for her to feel his warmth. He watched her with his molten gaze for a moment before offering up the mug she had wanted.

“Thank you!” she took it with a near squeak, spinning back around.

He stepped back swallowing a groan when she bent back over in front of him to fix the tea. ‘Mahal,’ he thought. He hadn’t a clue why Kíli would tell her he was ill. He hadn’t left because of overindulging. She was so worried for him that he hadn’t the heart to tell her he had barely drank at all. He had left because he felt a heaviness settle in his chest as he watched her while knowing she could never return his feelings. Now like this, she was going to kill him eyeing him like she had. His willpower was unfailing with the knowledge that she couldn’t feel for him like he did for, but the way she had been looking at his figure just then made it seem like she just might after all. His will would stand little chance if she return his affections.

He knew he should have made her leave or gone to get dressed right away. It wasn’t proper. But he was enjoying the way her eyes raked over him and how her cheeks had flushed and her bosom had panted as she did so. She hadn’t looked at any of those elves how she was looking at him. ‘Not that I know of anyway,’ at that thought, he deflated once more. Kíli had said that she had mentioned that she was not attached to anyone, but that didn’t mean that her heart wasn’t attached. Besides, appreciation for the physical body did not equal true affection. With that in mind, he cleared his throat, “I will be just a moment,” he said as he went to grab a shirt and pants, “You know, I didn’t actually have much to drink. I simply grew tired of the partying and wished to relax for the evening. It is nice to have a bed once more. I think Kíli was just trying to play a trick on the both of us.”

She glanced up as he spoke and gasped at the sight of his back, not because of the broad expanse of muscle, but for the dark purple bruise. “Fíli, your back!” She gasped.

He paused trying to twist to see. It was so large that he could glimpse the edges of it, “Huh, that’s why it’s been smarting a bit.”

“Smarting?” she asked incredulously, “It’s a wonder you don’t have a broken rib. Is that from the Trolls?”

He shuffled his feet looking sheepish, “Ah, no. I likely got it when I bashed against the rocks in the river.”

She sucked in a breath, “Oh Fíli, I’m so sorry.”

He looked baffled, “What do you have to be sorry for? You didn’t toss me in. I did that all on my own.”

“But I knew that it would happen. I should’ve done more to stop it from happening at all. Then you and Kíli would’ve never been in danger and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt and nearly drowned,” she ran a hand through her hair in frustration, causing some of the pins to fall out.

Fíli walked over and took her hands from her hair with one hand not holding his towel, “You could hardly tell us as much at the time. Helen, you can’t take the blame for every bad thing that might happen. Our destinies have already been laid out.”

Her eyes were watering, “I would to save you from such a fate!” Her voice cracking, “Fíli, simply reading about it felt like losing a friend, but now that Thorin, Kíli, and you are here in front of me in flesh and blood,” she brought a hand up brushing it along his cheek as several tears spilled over, “Now that I know you, I’ve- Fíli, I’ve come to care for you all so much. I love you all fiercely. If something were to happen to any of you, to you, I don’t know what I would do. Especially if it’s because of something I knew was coming.”

When she finished with a sniffle, he pulled her forward to press his forehead to hers, “You selfless, selfless girl. What am I to do with you, hm?” He sighed, “Helen, I want you to listen to me.” He said pulling back to look her in the eyes, his gaze as serious as his words, “We all are honored, I am honored that you have taken up such a quest to save us from our fates. Trust me, none wish for you to achieve your goal more than we, but sweetheart, you cannot prevent everything. We _will_ get hurt,” he said, “possibly even badly, but you cannot burden yourself with guilt and blame. Us dwarves are a stubborn lot, but we are also sturdy. Take my bruise for instance. Sure it looks Mahal awful, but other than when it happened, I’ve hardly noticed except when hitting it into something. My point is that we will get knocked around a bit, but we will get back up again.”

She sniffled looking into his eyes, “Except the one time you don’t.”

He brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping the tears, “But was that to be _this_ time?”

She frowned, “No, but-“

“And is it to be soon?” he asked.

“No, but-“

“Then please, wait until it _is_ time for fate to make its move. I cannot bear the thought of you carrying so much stress all of the time. It is going to wear you down and break you,” he said, “I promise. When it is truly time for us to pay heed, I give you my vow that I will do everything I can to help you change the destinies of three very stubborn and prideful dwarves.” He grinned at that and she chuckled. “Do we have a deal? No over stressing about the little things?”

She nodded.

He let of a breath of relief and pulled her forward to place a kiss on her forehead, “Thank you.”

She scoffed lightly, though the effect was lessened by her wobbly chin, “I should be thanking you.”

“Very well, we shall thank each other then,” he grinned once more giving her nose a light boop with a finger. “I am going to get dressed. I think I’d like a cup of tea though, even if it is not to cure a hangover I won’t have. Would you’d care to have one with me?”

She smiled and nodded, “Yes, I think that would be nice. Oh!” she called as he walked off, “Leave off the shirt though, if you don’t mind. I have some ointment to help with the deep bruising.”

He had flushed at the suggestion, but it was quickly replaced with a fond smile. He dipped his head in assent and left to the wash room with some comfortable breeches in hand.

* * *

 

When the door to the washroom closed, Helen rose her hands to her cheeks slapping her face lightly to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She wasn’t too inside of the moment to fail to realize that they had just had a pretty significant moment. Her now flaming cheeks were a clear sign that what had taken place was real and not some dream her mind had conjured up to taunt her with. Fíli was always so kind and gentle with her. So, she could never be sure if some instances were just her wishing for something more, for a spark to be were one wasn’t. But now?

Now he had held her face with his powerful hands as though she was made of glass, as though she was precious to him. He had look at her with all the kindness and gentleness she had come to know, but the warmth and affection in his eyes had been as real as the feel of his warm lips and tickly moustache pressing a kiss to her forehead. Her heart was hammering out of control and she fanned her face trying to get a handle on herself.

She had little doubt what Kíli’s game was, the little ass. Her walking in with Fíli barely clothed had nearly induced an anime-level nose bleed. She was certainly glad such things were not reality cause she’d be in trouble with blood loss if it was.

There was little to be done about it now. If she had any denial over her attraction or the feelings she was beginning to feel deepen for the Durin heir, she could no longer keep trying to deny them to herself. Fíli was without a doubt extremely attractive and she was quickly falling for him. Shaking herself from her thoughts, she set to preparing the tea. She could go for a calming cup right about then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. A lot happened here so lets break it down to the big points.  
> Fili has self-doubt.  
> Kili is a sneaky buggar.  
> TOWEL.  
> Helen is told to stop stressing the small things.  
> FOREHEAD KISS.  
> Helen realizes Fili has some feelings towards her, although she doesn't know how much.  
> And Helen faces the facts: She has the hots for Fili & she is falling for him.
> 
> D'aww. :3 Now then.  
> More to come soon!  
> Let me know how you liked their moment in the comments!
> 
> Pics:
> 
> Helen's outfit for dinner: https://www.polyvore.com/rivendells_first_dinner/set?id=229104587  
> Fili this chapter (you're welcome): https://aegileif.deviantart.com/art/Birthday-Fili-waist-up-version-420542667


	19. He Sat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter should teach you all the importance of communication.

The next morning, Helen was feeling exhausted. Not only had she and Fíli spent a good portion of the night talking and drinking tea as she doctored his bruise, but she had then retired to her room and been unable to fall asleep for hours. She spent the night until the early hours of morning tossing and turning as the high of newly discovered affections wore off a reality settled in.

So many questions raced through her mind. Questions she had no way of knowing the answers to. She’d have to talk to someone, but who? Gandalf was her first choice, but she was uncertain if even he’d know. Then there was the fact that she’d have to see the satisfied face of the meddling wizard when she all but admitted that he had been right all those weeks ago and that she did like Fíli. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with his cheekiness. Her worries had put her in ill-humor. As she dressed for breakfast and headed down the hall, she realized there was only one person in all of Rivendell who she had any hopes of getting the answers she desperately sought.

The Hall of Fire was already mostly full and breakfast laid out. She greeted those she passed as she moved to take her usual seat near to the head of the table.

“Good morning,” she said as she sat beside Glorfindel.

“Good morning!” he replied brightly, “I see our wines had their effect on you once more. You must take more care.”

She smiled at his concern as she fixed her plate of fruits and bread. She sighed out happy as she was given a hot cup of tea, “I actually didn’t drink at all last night. I just didn’t sleep well.”

Before Glorfindel could respond, a voice called out from a little ways down, “Didn’t get much sleep, eh? I wonder why that is?” Kíli waggled his brows. His teasing was sharply reprimanded by a sharp elbow to the side from his elder brother, who with cheeks bright red was staring intently at his plate.

Helen rolled her eyes, but a steady stare prickled her neck and she turned to face the intense gaze of none other than Thorin Oakenshield, who sat as the guest of honor at Elrond’s left. She sank down into her seat a bit, “It wasn’t how he made it sound, I assure you.”

Glorfindel nearly choked, “You were with one of them?” his attempt at whispering had her cheeks flaming.

“Not like that, I wasn’t,” she grumbled, “Kíli and Fíli left early last night and I was informed that one may have not felt well. Of course I was worried for them.”

Elrond cleared his throat, “Ah, that was my fault.” He said drawing the steady gazes from Helen to himself. He looked to Helen with an apologetic smile, “I do apologize if I worried you too much. I trust you were able to help as both seem in good spirits this morning.”

“Ah, yes,” her cheeks still bright red, but some of her shyness fading as Thorin’s heavy look lightened, “It wasn’t due to drink, but Fíli suffered more from the incident at the river than we had known. Honestly, from the looks of his bruising, it’s a wonder he hadn’t suffered a cracked rib.”

At this Thorin’s agitation at what Kíli’s comment had implied had fully faded and all that was left was a caring uncle, he gave Helen a thankful dip of his head, “I thank you, once more for looking after my kinsmen and heirs. It bodes well for us all to have such a caring friend along with us as we travel.”

Her smile was all fondness as she spoke, “It is an honor to be counted among your friends.”

Thorin eyes glimmered mischievously, “A bit more like family with every passing day.”

She nearly dropped her teacup. Thorin just teased her. Just teased her by implying about her and Fíli’s growing closeness. She gulped, face bright red as all the table moved on in normal conversation. If it was that obvious to all around them that there was something between them then she needed her questions answered even more urgently than before. She couldn’t risk letting it get out of hand if-

She shook herself at the negative thoughts. There was no need to dwell or stress. She didn’t yet have any answers and besides- She looked down the table catching the eyes of Fíli, who gifted her a small, shy smile.

Besides, she had made a promise to a certain someone to not sweat the little things.

* * *

 

After breakfast, Elrond was called away on business before she could get his attention to ask for a private meeting. She watched as Gandalf and the twins followed him out as Elrond spoke with Lindir and Erestor. The company too was filing out the doors at the opposite end, no doubt headed back to the guest wing where their rooms were.

Fíli approached her with a sulking looking Kíli.

“Morning boys,” she greeted the pair.

“Morning,” they chorused back causing her to laugh.

Kíli grinned a bit at her giggles and stepped forward. “Helen, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have blurted out like that. No doubt Thorin didn’t find it very funny. I never intended for anyone to possibly think poorly of you or anythin’,” he said sheepishly looking every bit like a scolded pup. If Fíli’s stern look was anything to go by, he likely had gotten an ear full from his brother.

She placed a hand on Kíli’s shoulder, “It’s alright. I know you were only teasing and I was able to explain to Thorin why I was in Fíli’s private quarters. No harm, no foul.”

His grin lit up his face, “Thank you, Helen. You really are the nicest of people. What you see in this one, I’ll never understand.” He said pointing over his shoulder at Fíli and chuckling at the way the pair sputtered in embarrassment. Laughing, he turned, running out the doors before Fíli could try to throttle him, “See you two around!” His laughter faded off as he ran after the others.

Fíli cleared his throat, cheeks visibly red above his beard, “My family is idiotic. I’m so sorry.”

She snorted out a laugh, earning a grin, “They are wonderful. And don’t worry, I fully plan to get even with your brother. Thorin looked very displeased before I told him about your injury.” He winced at that and she smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, but it was tell him about it or let him think I was in your room alone at night for other reasons.”

Fíli face flamed and he dipped his head, “Ah, right, of course.” He cleared his throat, “I am sorry if it causes a blemish on your image. It wasn’t proper and I should’ve corrected the situation then. I will take full responsibility if anyone calls you out for it. I know there are some customs you aren’t familiar with, but I promise I wasn’t trying to take advantage of that.” He shifted his weight, glancing bashfully at her, “I want to thank you for your help. My back actually does feel better today.”

It was her turn to have pink cheeks and she found meeting his gaze then was harder with the surge of butterflies. Him looking up at her through his lashes with his blushing cheeks was too endearing. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m a grown woman and I knew it could be misconstrued. I care less for what others may think of me than I care for your wellbeing.” She looked up at him then, “I’m glad you’re feeling better, but I’d still like to look at it later. If the ointment is helping, there is no sense in letting it heal slower than it could. Would that be alright with you?”

He nodded, humbled by her care once again, “It would. Thank you.”

She chewed her lip, “Then I will find you this evening?”

“It’s a date,” he flushed, “I mean, I’ll save the date. But really it would be more like time. I’ll save the time. No, that just sounds silly.”

She giggled, “It’s okay. I know what you meant.”

“Thank goodness, cause I sure didn’t,” he grinned.

She giggled again, “Well, I’ll see you later. I have to try and catch Lord Elrond.”

He nodded and waved as she turned, watching as she disappeared out the doors. Once she did, he smacked his forehead, groaning. “It’s a date? Of all the moronic things to say,” his grumbling lasted all the way back to the guest wing.

* * *

 

By the time Helen made it all the way to Lord Elrond’s Library, the meeting he had been having was ending. She poked her head in as the others left, waving and greeting them as they passed.

“My Lord?” she called into the room.

“In here,” called the Lord of Imladris, “Just putting away some maps.” He was on a ladder placing some scrolls up when she approached, “What can I do for you, dear one?”

She was chewing her lip as she thought of how to broach the topic. “Do you think that it is a bad idea for someone from another world to become involved with someone from this one?”

Elrond looked down at her with a lifted brow as he finished his task. He stepped off the ladder and guided her to one of the chairs near the fire, “Since the only person I know of that is from another world is you, might we skip the vague analogies and get right to it, hm?”

She sighed, “Yes, of course. Sorry. It’s just that, well, I only just realized it all myself and now that I have there are so many questions that have sprung up. It’s all a bit nerve wrecking.”

“Love almost always is,” he stated. At receiving her wide eyed stare, he smiled softly, “Even if it is not yet love, it is serious enough to make you wish to pursue it rationally. To me that speaks volumes of the depth of your feelings and how much you care for the other person. So tell me, what is it that troubles you so?”

She runs her hands through her hair, “Where do I start? I am from another world. I am of another species, and while I know elf and man have had relationships, I know nothing of dwarves and elves. Which leads to another issue, am I even really an elf at all? If so, what would that mean for me if I did pursue this? I don’t want to cause him any pain. What if we can’t have children later on? What if we aren’t compatible in that way? Dwarves and Elves did not exactly have the same creator, so can they even be intimate? And if we are and later on there are children, would they be healthy? And then there is my biggest fear- I came into this world unexpectedly. What happens if one day I leave it for my own in just as rapid and as random a way as I came here? Would I leave behind my love, a possible husband, kids even? How could I survive such a thing? How could I put him through such a thing?” Her face fell into her hands, “I’m terrified. Terrified of what my feelings will mean for him and for me.”

Elrond was quiet for a long moment. “These are all very good questions. I can tell you’ve put quite a lot of thought into all of this.”

She laughed a dry, humorless laugh.

“I do not know the answers to all that you seek, but I promise to help you find them,” he said, “For now, let me ask you this. Do you think that given the time you could love him?”

She thought for a moment- of his smile, his laugh, his kindness, the gentle way he offered support without overstepping or impeding her independence, how he was patient and sweet, and she knew at once the answer. “Yes, I think I could fall in love with him very easily,” she admitted.

Elrond’s look was that of a caring father as he patted her hand, “Then for now, that is all that matters. Tell him of your fears. This is not something you are entering into alone. If he is worthy of you, he will share the burden of your troubles. After all, since fear of what this could mean for him is a large part of your fears, should he not be allowed a say in it?”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She nodded, “You’re right. Thank you. I actually feel much better.”

“I am glad, dear one,” he said patting her hand once more, “I will write to Lady Galadriel at once. She is wisest of our kind and may better be able to answer your concerns.”

“Thank you,” she said, “For now, I will take your very good advice and have a very important talk with a certain dwarf. You are right. He should know about my fears and be allowed his say as well.”

“Very good, dear one,” Elrond said as he rose to follow her out the door, “And remember, honesty and openness are the clearest paths when speaking of matters of the heart.” With that, they parted ways and Elrond when to his desk to pen a letter.

* * *

 

Helen was walking through the gardens and passed the many fountains when Glorfindel approached her.

“Ah! There you are! Come, let’s sit a while. I have somethings to show you,” he said sitting on one of the benches in the garden.

She sat with him and eyed the wooden box he held curiously, “What is that?”

He grinned, “This is what I wanted to show you!” He opened it, revealed the velvet golden lining of the inside, “While you were away, I had some things made. After all, you are my sister now, and as a member of my house, it is expected that you have certain things to wear during special events. It would cast me as an uncaring brother if I did not gift my sister with some proper jewels to wear.” He took out a silk scarf and lad it on her lap. Then he took out the several pieces and laid them out for her to see.

Helen gasped. There were necklaces and headpieces and hair pieces and brooches. All glittering and gleaming. All delicate and beautiful. She took a necklace and examined it in awe, “Oh Glorfindel, these are- They are gorgeous. This is too much.” She looked at him amazed, “This is all too much. I can’t accept these.”

He chuckled and waved his hand, “Nonsense. You wouldn’t want people to speak poorly of me would you?” He grinned at her bewildered look, “Look, Helen, you’re a part of my house now and as such you deserve to wear jewels befitted of that name. I’ve never had anyone to dote on, will you not let me enjoy it now that I do?”

She eyed him a moment before sighing in defeat, “Alright, alright. Put the puppy eyes away.” She laughed at his pleased look, shaking her head, “Shall we try some of them out then?” She laughed out right as his eye light up like a kid at Christmas. Still, the time they spent playing dress up with the pretty trinkets he had made for her made her feel like a child once more and she could almost picture a young and cheeky Glorfindel right there beside her in her childhood.

* * *

 

Fíli had spent the day since that morning walking in a cloud. Last night, his time spent with Helen had made his doubts fade away and he truly felt as though she could very well feel for him the way he felt for her. He didn’t know how, but he somehow ended up in the gardens. He was trying to figure out a way out of the maze of flower bushes when some voices reached his ears. He started closer to them, hoping to get directions back to the guest wing.

_“Oh Glorfindel-“_ His ears perked up at Helen’s voice and his heart sped up.

_“This is too much!”_ He heard her say as he neared.

_“Nonsense-“_ He heard a male voice say. _“You’re a part of my house now-  I’ve never had anyone- Let me enjoy it now that I do-“_

He nearly collapsed to his knees. All his happiness at hearing her voice drained away as he realized what he had stumbled into. Another had asked for her hand and she had accepted. She was lost to him now. He backed away with his eyes clenched, trying to escape what he had just heard.

He knew not how he managed it, but he had somehow found his way back to the guest wing. He saw nothing. He heard nothing. Nothing but the surprise and happiness of the pair in the garden. His heart felt of lead. As he made his way blindly to his door, he almost thought he heard someone calling his name, but all sounded as though he was under water. Perhaps he was, he thought as he entered his room, shutting his door to the light from outside plunging the room into darkness. Perhaps he was underwater, in that river still, and this was all a very bad dream. For he felt like he was drowning.

* * *

 

In the hall outside, Kíli and Ori exchanged worried looks.

“He did not seem well at all,” Ori said with concern.

“No,” Kíli agreed, “I am not sure he even heard us.”

Ori frowned, “What do you think happened for Fíli to look so pale? Do you think him ill?”

Kíli shook his head, “I haven’t a clue, but I aim to find out. Let’s finish taking this laundry to the proper rooms and I’ll come and see what’s gotten in to him. Probably a case of the nerves with Helen, the blind sot. He hasn’t a clue yet that she is as smitten with him as he is with her.”

Ori giggled at that and they went about their chores.

It was sometime later when Kíli returned, knocking at his brother’s door, “Fee, it’s me, Kíli. Open up.” There was no answer. Kíli knocked harder, “Fíli, are you awake? Surely you haven’t gone off to bed this early. It’s not even lunch. Fee!” His pounding received no response and Kíli became worried. Fíli never ignored him, even when he was mad. “Fee, I’m coming in!” he called as he opened the door, only to stop short once he stepped inside.

The curtains were closed and the whole room was encased in darkness as if it was night and not 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Kíli looked around squinting as his eyes adjusted. He was just about to leave when a lump on the great bed caught his eye.

Shutting the door, he neared the bed, “Fee?” He whispered, “Fee, you asleep?”

A sigh came from the lump.

“Fee, what are you doing in bed? Are you ill after all?” Kíli asked as he finally came up close enough to see Fíli. His brother was laying on his back staring up at nothing. He wasn’t brooding, so he knew he wasn’t angry nor had he likely gotten a tongue lashing from Thorin. He didn’t look sad nor did his eyes look red. He looked blank. Absent of anything at all. Kíli swallowed as he took in his brother’s face and decided that this was much worse than seeing pain. Seeing nothing at all was so unlike Fíli, it was disturbing.

“Fee, you’re scaring me,” he said finally after the silence became to much.

Fíli’s eyes moved then. Though they lacked the spark that was usually there, “I’m here, Kee. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Kíli frowned. Even his voice was devoid of feeling. “Fee, what in Mahal’s name happened?” He saw Fíli wince.

“She is to be married.”

“What?” Kíli asked confused, “Who is?”

“Helen.”

“H-Helen?! What are you talking about? Fíli, you must be mistaken.”

“I know what I heard Kee. I came upon them in the garden.”

“There must be some mistake. Fee, I’ve seen how you are together. I’m fairly certain the whole company likely knows it too. You’d have to be blind not to see that she-“

“Kee!” Fíli’s loud voice made Kíli jump, “Kíli, please. I can’t hear- Not right now, okay? I just- I’m happy if she is. Her happiness is all I could hope for. And she did sound happy, Kee. I just- I just need time to forget.”

“Fee,” Kíli’s heart broke at the flicker of agony that flashed across his brother’s face. He took his hand and gave it a squeeze, “Alright Fee. I’ll let the others know you’re okay.”

“Thank you,” Fíli said giving his brothers hand a light squeeze in return.

Kíli nodded and turned to leave. He stopped at the door, “Fee?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

A pause and a shuddering breath, “Love you too, Kee.”

Kíli left then and pretended he didn’t hear the shake in his brother’s voice. He had a mission. He was certain that Fíli was mistaken. He knew he couldn’t have been wrong about what he had seen between Helen and his brother. No matter what culture she came from, certainly things could not be that different that signs of attraction would be that mistaken. No, he thought as he headed out to track down Helen, surely he hadn’t been that wrong.

* * *

 

As Kíli’s luck would have it, he hadn’t been able to find Helen until dinner. Fíli was still refusing to leave his room. Kíli would have to catch her after dinner and clear this whole mess up.

She didn’t come in until most had taken their seats. She was on the arm of the blonde elf with curly hair that he had seen her with often since they arrived. He thought it a shame that Fíli wasn’t there to see her because she was lovely. Her gown was forest green and flowy; she wore golden adornments: a belt, necklace, and a hair piece. Each with pearls and clear gems set among leaves and flowers of gold. Kíli thought she looked like a princess.

She waved at him as she was guided passed to her seat. Her eyes flicked to the empty seat beside him and her smile fell slightly, “Is Fíli running late?”

“Ah, no,” he squirmed in his seat, “He is, uh, he wont be coming to dinner.”

Her eyes flashed with worry, “Is he alright?”

“I’m sure he is fine,” he lied forcing a reassuring smile as best he could. He eyed the blonde elf on her arm, “I’m sure he’ll be fine after he gets some rest.”

Helen looked unconvinced but the blonde elf patted her hand, “They’ve been through a lot. I’m sure if his brother says it is so, then it is.”

She sighed, nodding, “Of course, I’m sorry. If you see him before I do, let him know I’ll still come by to see if he needs his bruise ointment.”

Kíli nodded though he was eyeing the blonde elf with a slightly sour look, “I’ll let him know.”

She smiled, leaning to give him a hug, “Thank you Kíli.”

He returned her hug with a sigh. He hoped his brother was wrong, but so far, he still wasn’t sure.

All through dinner, Kíli had his eyes locked down the table. He watched as Helen chatting normally, though she’d occasionally touch her necklace. He also noticed that the blonde elf had noticed the gesture as well, and the way the elf’s face lit up when he saw it didn’t bode too well.

By dinner’s end, Kíli was almost convinced that he would have to confirm his brother’s fears when at last he heard the blonde elf’s name. Glorfindel. He sighed in relief. He remember his and Bofur’s talk with Helen about a Glorfindel. He was an elf who had taken her in as a sister.

With this realization, he watched the pair and saw that the closeness was of a different kind than he had first thought. It was plain how Glorfindel saw Helen. He looked at her with pride and affection and tenderness. But there was no romantic love there.

Assured in his findings, Kíli went straight away to Fíli’s room after dinner. He banged on the once he found it locked. “Fee! Fee! Open up! It’s Kíli!”

A muffled voice called through the door, “Kee, I told you I needed some time.”

“But Fee, I saw Helen at dinner-“

“Kee, for Mahal’s sake, I don’t want to hear about it right now.”

“Fee, you had it all wrong-”

“Go away, Kíli,” Fíli’s voice growled from inside the room.

Kíli let out a snarl in frustration, “Fine! If you don’t want to hear the truth then fine! Wallow in your misery! I’ll be ready when you feel like being less of an idiot.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Agh!” Kíli yelled kicking the door in frustration as he stomped away.

* * *

 

Not too long afterwards, Helen walked down the hall where the dwarves had their rooms. She passed by Dwalin and Balin, who nodded and waved as she greeted them. Dori said hello, as he and Oin stood talking. Oin had said rather loudly that he wasn’t in need of any medicines, but he thanked her anyway. She had tried to explain that it was for Fíli, but Oin had merely kept on insisting that no he was feeling fine. Finally, Dori had just told her to not bother trying and to let him think whatever. He had patted her shoulder with an amused grin as she went on.

At last, she came to Fíli’s door and knocked, “Fíli, I brought you something to eat and the bruise ointment.”

There was no answer.

She hummed in thought and sat the tray down in front of his door. She took a pen from where she had it tucked in her bra, and wrote him a note on the paper parchment lining of the tray.

“Some dinner and medicine. Feel better soon.

Yours,

Helen”

She sat it on the tray and placed the ointment on top, before making her way to her rooms.

* * *

 

The next morning, Fíli doesn’t show up for breakfast. Helen spends most of the meal poking at her plate and glancing at the empty seat in worry. Still, Glorfindel pats her arm and insists she eat. He reminds her that she should trust his brother and trust that if something was truly wrong that she would be informed.

When Fíli doesn’t come for lunch or dinner either, her worry bubbles over. She goes to his door once more and once more no one answers.

The following morning, Helen nearly runs into the dining hall. Her hair is barely presentable and lock are escaping her hastly done braid. Her eyes are alight but once she sees the still empty seat, it drains out of her.

 She stares at it blankly for a moment until Gloin spots her and calls out a greeting. She starts looking up to see many curious looks her way and she flushes giving a wave as she scurries to her seat. Her eyes flicker constantly to the empty seat.

At lunch, her worry crests and at last she turns to Thorin.

“Has Fíli gone on an errand?” she nearly blurts.

Thorin blinks at her bewildered. He takes in her slightly haggard appearance and glances down to see his heir still not present. His brows furrow as he answers, “No, he is in his rooms last I checked.”

Her face fell, “Oh.”

Thorin’s frown deepened as her face fell to her plate. It was largely untouched, he noticed. He caught the worried glance of Elrond and could only shrug at a loss.

Gandalf eyed her, seeing her hand come up to brush against a necklace he had never seen before, “That is a pretty trinket, Helen. Did Glorfindel gift you that one as well?”

“Hm?” She looked up in confusion. She blinked as his words registered, “Oh! Yes, he had it made. Said a lady of his house should have shiny things to wear.”

Glorfindel tutted, “That’s not exactly how I worded it.”

“Close enough,” she grinned as he sulked.

He looked from Helen to Glorfindel and then to the intricate necklace and back to the two of them again. He was beginning to have an idea of what was going on with his nephew.

Dinner that night had passed much the same, and so had breakfast the following day, and lunch, and dinner once more, and again the following day. Each night after dinner she’d knock at his door, only to be met with silence. She’d leave the ointment and a note wishing for him to feel better soon.

It was now the sixth day and Helen stood at the door after dinner once more. She knocked and was met with silence again. She sighed her palm running down the surface of the door as she let her head fall against it. She had to face the facts. After 6 days, it was no accident. She may not know why, but Fíli was avoiding her.

“Fíli,” she called through the door, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I don’t what I did that hurt you, but I must have somehow. I won’t come knocking any more. You’ve made your wishes clear and I’ll respect them. I just hope you wont be upset when I still leave with you all. I still have my quest and I mean to see it through. I’m sorry,” her voice cracked and she turned away.

Inside the room, Fíli sat on the floor leaning against the door. His eyes clenched closed in agony over hurting her. He just wasn’t ready to face her just yet knowing that her heart belonged to another. He didn’t plan to avoid her forever. He wasn’t the sort that wanted her as he wanted her or not at all. He cherished her friendship, but seeing her right now, it would be impossible to not look at her like she was his world. Because he had been made to realize in the worst possible way that she was just that. As it was, he couldn’t face her until he trusted himself to keep his unwanted affections at bay. He respected her and her wishes to much to do otherwise.

And so, he sat. In the dark of his room, breaking his heart all over again as he heard her promise to leave him alone altogether except to save his life. He sat letting his heart break once more as he heard the break in her voice and he fought the overwhelming need to hold her close and kiss away her tears. But he couldn’t do that. Because she wasn’t his. So he sat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... heh heh  
> Don't hate me. I swear this isn't angst for angsts' sake. There is a valid point and purpose here.
> 
> Helen's fears are entirely valid issues that are questions I always wondered when reading fics that involved people from our world ending up in Middle Earth. They are questions that are pretty much NEVER given real answers. Well guess what my lovely readers. Sit down and buckle up cause I'm gonna answer them all Finally! Well, not here but in the story and soon.
> 
> Fili. Oh fili. You poor besotted dwarf. This right here is a prime example of what can happen when you have some serious self-doubt and only hear part of a conversation. He should have held of any conclusions until he was able to talk to Helen. All it would've taken is a "Hey I overheard you might be engaged." And then bam. Problem over. But, no.
> 
> You have to give him a bit of a break, however. Fili doesn't exactly have a lot of girl experience. Dwarven women are RARE. The odds that he had any contact with any single, young, non-married dwarven women are next to none. He is learning as he goes. And seeing as how he didn't hear the conversation the Kili and Bofur had with her where she explains who Glorfindel is and given what it usually means to be given jewels of someone's house, Fili comes to conclusions. And in a sweet, albeit misguided way. He wants to be able to respect her wishes and her friendship and not do something unwanted or flirty, so he has decided that locking himself into his room until he is over it will be a good idea.
> 
> Little does he know... 
> 
> Well, you'll just have to wait for that bit. :)
> 
> Now then, pics!  
> Helen dinner outfit with the green dress: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=229234492  
> Her messy braid and necklace mentioned by Gandalf: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=229236241


	20. Of Captions & Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *grins*

When breakfast came around on the next morning, the seventh day since Fíli had begun avoiding her, Helen almost didn’t react at all to the empty seat at Kíli’s side. She even managed to give a convincing smile when that brother had bid her good morning, though the flash of concern she glimpsed in his dark eyes as he did so did not escape her notice.

It had now been a full seven days since Fíli had come down for a meal, and that long as well since she had seen him. Still, she dressed nice for each meal. She wore the gems Glorfindel had given her and donned another lovely gown that had been made for her. She didn’t know why she was bothering with her appearance. Surely if he couldn’t stand to even tell her to go away when she knocked at his door, he wouldn’t give her appearance a second glance. It was the tiniest of sparks of hope she still had with in her heart.

Though she chastised herself for being foolish and a hopeless romantic after each meal as she took off each of the adornments and returned to her casual day wear, still when mealtime came around once more she found herself there putting it all back on again. It wasn’t from some belief that she needed to wear fine dresses and gems to catch his affections. She didn’t think so little of herself that she felt the need to put on a show like a peacock to attract a mate. She did so with the hope that perhaps if a swish of fabric or glint of gem shone from his peripheral then he would have to glance her way. She felt a fool. Had she truly grown so attached to his presence that she’d go through such lengths to simply be able to look into his eyes again, to have him look at her at all?

She sighed staring down into her plate. She knew the answer of course. She did miss his face that much, his gaze, his smile. It was a terrible way to discover that her feelings for him were much more than some crush. He had become a friend. A good friend, a constant source of comfort and a smile, and she missed his presence in her life.

A slight commotion drew her attention as Elrond came into the dining room with a letter in hand, greeting several as he made his way to his seat. He set the letter before Helen as he went to his seat, “It arrived early this morning. Galadriel has sent her fastest rider with your reply.”

“Oh!” she turned it over eyeing the beautiful handwriting that had had her name upon the sealed letter, “I never expected it so soon.”

Elrond chuckled, “In matters such as these, the Lady Galadriel is always most eager to reply.”

She eyed Elrond dubiously, “Did you just call your Mother-in-Law and the eldest Elf in all of Middle Earth a gossip?”

He laughed heartily at that, “Don’t look so scandalized, dear one. My word,” he leaned to whisper, “those books of yours must have cast us as a somber lot.” He sat up chuckling merrily at her befuddlement, “I assure you it is something she prides herself in readily.”

Helen smiled, “Must be something about those who’ve been in Valinor. Gandalf and Glorfindel are just as bad.”

Glorfindel sputtered indignantly as the twins roared with laughter.

Gandalf sent her a wink, “I have an image to uphold. Meddling wizard and all that.”

She scoffed and giggled. Setting the letter down, she said, “I’d like to read it after breakfast, if you’ll attend it with me?” She asked Elrond who nodded in assent, “Gandalf, if you’d care to join. I could use your input as well.”

“Of course, young one,” Gandalf agreed.

Thus, at the end of the meal, the three bid goodbye to the others and made their way to Elrond’s Library. Unbeknownst to them, a curious Dwarven king was following. He had yet to fully figure out what was going on with his nephew, but he had an idea that it had to do with Helen and her letter.

As Thorin made his way to find a spot he could hear from, Helen, Elrond and Gandalf had sat around Elrond’s desk.

Helen stared down at the letter in her hands, taking a deep breath before breaking the wax seal. Inside, Galadriel’s beautifully written script filled several pages. Blue-gray eyes flicked over the missive, taking in every word, rereading some sections twice just to be sure, until at last, Helen slumped back into her seat.

“Well, is it news you hoped for?” Gandalf asked.

Helen’s mind was swimming over the vast amounts of information the letter had contained. She handed it off to Gandalf and Elrond for each to read for themselves.

When Elrond had finished it, he set it down, “It seems a great many of your questions were answered.”

Helen nodded.

Gandalf studied her a moment, “Have you decided what it is you will do then?”

 Helen frowned, “There are still several answers that are fuzzy at best. Galadriel has said that I am not a full elf but that my human nature was kept and blended with that of my new elven half. Would that mean…” she looked to Elrond in confusion, “Am I halfelven then? Like your family?”

“That is what I believe the Lady Galadriel has discovered, yes. A new line of halfelven. I wonder if you will be given the choice as those of my blood have,” he mused. “Halfelven, it would explain a great deal about the troubles you’ve had over controlling your negative emotions.”

She cringed, “I wish I could say that it was fully behind me. I do feel more stable with my emotions, but once something truly stressful happens, I have a tendency to explode. It happened on the journey here. I let out a rather embarrassing rant after a stint with some trolls and ended up letting the entire company know how much I adored them. I sounded like a besotted fangirl.”

“A besotted what?” Elrond asked.

She chuckled, “It’s a term from my world for people who adore things to the near point of obsession. Most often in relations to books, movies, plays, or the like, but it can apply to real people as well.”

“Ah,” he nodded sagely, “that explains the squeaks and squeals you had a tendency to emit when shown around.”

She pouted, “My Lord, the more I am around you the more I realize where the twins get their humor from.”

Elrond chuckled.

Gandalf smiled at her fondly, “It is good to see your spirits return. The past few days, you’ve not seemed like yourself.”

She chewed her lip, “I know. I’m sorry if I haven’t been in the best moods. I will be fine given time. Getting these answers certainly has helped.”

The wizard hummed, “And what about the other parts you’ve discovered then? Galadriel made mention that due to the mixed nature of your being now, it is very unlikely that you can return to your world in the way you entered ours. Elves, even half elves, do not and cannot exist there. If such a thing were to be possible, only the power of the Valar to change you back into a child of man could achieve such a task.”

“Yes, but there is some gray area there too isn’t there?” she said.

“True, indeed, it seems that if you were to be changed into your original nature, it would be as you are now. As an elf, you do not age. Therefore, you’d be the same age as when you left your world, but the way time moves here and there is different,” Elrond said.

“It is highly possible that those you knew will be much older if you were to return,” Gandalf said.

Helen nodded looking into her lap, “Honestly, I’d be happy to stay. I’ve grown fond of it here in this world and of the people in it. But, I do have one family member there and she is not in the best of health. I just wish I could bring her here with me, or at least know she is well and will live a happy life. She was like a sister to me.”

Elrond patted her arm, “I’m sorry for your loss. I too know the ache of being parted from loved ones. It helps to know that they are forever in your heart as you are within theirs.”

She smiled softly, “Yes that is true. Thank you.” She took a deep breath, “There is no use dwelling on what can’t be changed. I’m here now. I’m no longer fully human and, as such, could never accidentally disappear back into my own world. My world may be vastly different from when I left it if I did. There seems little else to be done except to live the life I have been given here. I plan to start it by using my knowledge to save as many lives as I can. After that, who knows?”

Elrond said, “Know that you will always have a home here.”

“Thank you,” she said.

Gandalf hummed as he thought of something, “It is curious, however.”

She blinked, “What is?”

He looked as though he was trying to figure her out, “The letter spoke a great deal about relations between Elves and Dwarves. I wonder why that is?” His bushy brows rose in question.

She flushed, “Well, it had been something I needed answers to.”

“Had been?” he questioned her use of past tense.

Her face fell and she looked to a window. She almost thought she saw movement but shook it off as the wind on the curtains. “Yes, I don’t believe I will actually need the knowledge myself any longer, but knowledge of any kind is always good to learn.”

Gandalf and Elrond exchanged looks, both feeling the sadness that had fallen over her.

“Do not count out these things yet. Matters of the heart are wrought with peril. It makes it stronger on the opposite end of things,” Gandalf said in his sagely way.

She managed the barest of smiles, “I appreciate it. I do. But I think in this regard I can be safe in saying that any chance I thought there had been is likely gone. You can’t get past something if the other is not willing. I care too much for him to try and push things long. No,” she shook her head, “I respect him and treasure the friendship that had grown too greatly to risk making a difficult situation worse by declaring an unwanted confession.”

Elrond frowned, “If young master Fíli cannot see how special you are, dear one, then you should not let your heart ache over him so. You are a treasure. You’ve managed to change a great many hearts since coming into these lands. Long held prejudices are slipping away due to your reasoning and passion. You’ve even done a great deal for Glorfindel. You may not realize how much he had dimmed in the recent centuries. He had lost his way and you guided him back to it. He is now almost fully back into his old self. He adores you, truly. I believe he would spar with any who spoke ill of you. He has become the most loyal of brothers.”

She giggled at that.

He smiled at her lightening mood, “So you see, if someone cannot see how lovely you are, they do not deserve you.”

* * *

 

Outside the window, Thorin stood leaning against the wall. He felt ridiculous sneaking about in such a way, but his duty to his family made him seek out answers for the state Fíli had spiraled into. Now having heard what he had, he could only stand in shock as the situation fully computed.

It would seem that Helen was quite serious in her feelings towards his nephew. Serious enough to wish to seek out answers to things she did not know before making a step to further the relationship. As a dwarf, Thorin liked facts and keeping things orderly. Dwarves’ love of contracts, of laying out all aspects of a situation before entering it, made Helen’s handling of the situation sit with Thorin as a very dwarven thing to do and he approved. He found her self-control admirable. Putting off her heart’s wishes until she found answers showed strength of character in his eyes. It made him rather proud of her.

He was also able to deduce what most likely had occurred to make Fíli withdraw to his rooms. The things Thorin had observed during meals and had heard now gave him an idea that it likely had to do with Helen and her self-proclaimed elder brother, Glorfindel. It was clear that they were close. If one did not know the nature of their bond and knew that were not truly blood relatives, one might get the impression they could be more. The recent arrival of many jewels and trinkets gifted from the golden haired elf surely didn’t help if Fíli had been under this misconception. He knew his nephew. He was one to think before acting, most times. He was certainly more mature than his younger brother in that regard. Yet, he was still young. By all rights, he and his brother shouldn’t even be on this quest. They were hardly adults in dwarven reckoning. Fíli had much to learn still. With this being his only experience in matters of the heart, Thorin was honestly surprised that more issues had not arose.

From what he had observed of his nephew since Helen arrived in their presence, was a pull towards the woman that Fíli had been unknowing or unwilling to try to fight. It seemed no matter where she was in the room Fíli eyes found her. He made a point to be near her even when they could not speak. His nephew was level-headed and calm, but with Helen, he had witnessed a gentleness that he had not seen from the lad before. He knew that Fíli’s heart had been slowly setting on Helen. He knew what that meant for dwarves. Their kind only ever gave their hearts once.

Like stone, the heart of a dwarf was almost impossible to move. When they did, they gave it fully and without reservation. A dwarf could only love once because their heart would forever be dedicated to that one person. If their love was not returned, they would never love another. He did not know if Fíli yet loved Helen, but his heart had begun to shift in that direction. Like a boulder set to roll down a hill, once it starts, almost nothing will stop it. Thorin knew it would only be a matter of time for Fíli to love her, and it seemed that Helen could very likely grow to love Fíli in return.

Now he only had to get to the bottom of the mess that had become of it. After all, Helen had a purpose for joining them, and should she fail to save them from themselves, Fíli would die without ever knowing love. That was a fate too tragic for Thorin to bear.

With that in mind, he left his spot outside the window and marched to the guest quarters. He’d get to the bottom of this whole affair if he had to pry it out of the lad. Time was a friend to none, and Thorin heard their clocks ticking loudly. He couldn’t allow his nephew to waste what time he may have left.

* * *

 

Helen wander the halls and walkways of Rivendell after leaving her meeting with Elrond and Gandalf. She had come to the resolution that she had done all she could about the situation, and unless Fíli spoke with her and she discovered what she had done there was nothing more she could do. As with most things that were out of her control, once she realized this, she was able to let go of the stress she had held from trying to fix it. It was a lighter, though solemn, Helen that made it to her rooms at last. She took her camera and decided to clean out the memory card.

Pictures printed, she took up the album Charlotte had given her and set about placing each picture and writing captions for each. She had many images of the journey from Hobbiton to Rivendell, at least up until the weather had gotten too poor for her to take it out. Still, she had managed to get pictures of the company. She smiled as she looked them over. Each had been captured unaware as they still had not been shown her camera or what it could do. When she got to Bilbo’s picture, something caught her eye. There was the most curious look upon the hobbits face as he looked to Thorin, with whom he had been listening to tell a story. The expression was soft.

Her brows furrowed as she looked through the three remaining images and picked up Thorin’s. She had taken it at the same night and close together. Her eyes widened as she examined it. Thorin was looking at Bilbo who had then been looking elsewhere and laughing. Thorin had a small smirk upon his face, barely noticeable except for the crinkling around his eyes.

She placed the image in the album with a grin. Perhaps, she was not alone in developing affection for another on this quest. She’d have to pay more attention to how Thorin and Bilbo interacted, both around one another and when they thought no one was wiser.

The last two images left to be placed into the album were the heirs of Durin. Kíli’s image had her smiling. His head was throw back with laughter. His eyes clenched shut and his mouth stretched into his blinding smile. She placed it into the album and at last picked up Fíli’s.

Her breath caught in her throat when she saw it. He had a soft smile, almost boyish in nature. He was looking down into the fire and his cheeks were the faintest of pinks. She didn’t know how she had managed it, but she had caught one of Fíli’s blushes. Her heart clenched as her fingers brushed across the image. Blinking away the surge of bitter emotion, she placed the image and wrote beneath. Setting down her pen, she stood from the bed.

She needed to get out for a moment. She needed air and a distraction, for while her mind knew there was nothing to be done, her heart still ached the loss. Perhaps she would go seek out Bilbo. It had been a few days since she had enjoyed his company.

* * *

 

Thorin knocked on Fíli’s door. Upon receiving no answer, he banged, “Boy, if you know what is good for you, you will open this door at once.”

Creaking of a bed came from within and then shuffling of feet. When the door was opened, a rumbled Fíli opened the door.

Thorin took one look at his appearance- braids falling undone, hair frazzled, eyes glassy and red, and the blanket drapped over his shoulders that normal stood strong and square but now were bowed and sagging. Thorin pushed in, clucking his tongue, “This foolishness must end.”

“I know,” Fíli sighed as he shut the door before moving to stoke the fire.

“Of course it mu-“ Thorin stopped, “You know?”

Fíli poked at the coals, stirring the fire back to life, “Yes, I know. I am sure it has been difficult explaining my absence. I wish I had an excuse that you’d find acceptable, but I can only claim a blow to the heart as my reason.”

“A blow to the heart?” Thorin said confused, “Did Helen refuse you? That seems odd considering what I heard just now.”

“Refused me?” Fíli scoffed, a frown settingly on his features, “No. I never told her. And now I never will. She is to be married after all and I would never-“

“M-married!?” Thorin exclaimed, “Where did you get such an idea? Fíli, honestly, of all the crazy ideas.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I didn’t get the idea. I overheard her in the garden. Another has asked for her hand and she has accepted. He has gifted her the jewels of his house,” he took a seat near the now blazing fire. “She sounded happy. I could hope for no more.”

Thorin shook his head, “And so you’ve shut yourself in? I had thought the two of you had grown close. Was that closeness a ply to win her for yourself?”

Fíli’s eyes flashed as he stood facing his uncle, “What! Of course not! She is the dearest of people to me. I could no sooner cast her aside than my own flesh and blood. How could you even suggest such?”

Thorin rose a brow and glanced around the room as if to say ‘uh hello? Look where we are.’

Fíli deflated, cheeks tinging, “It is not how it looks. Uncle, I do care about her. Deeply. But I have also grown to care for her as much more. Though my chest felt hallow at the discovery that her heart was lost to me forever, I feared that I may say something or do something that would make her uncomfortable. The last thing I would want is to flirt or cross some boundary when her heart is bound to another. I care for her wishes and her friendship more than to allow such improper actions. So, until I trusted myself to have all that I feel for her locked away, I forced myself to stay here.”

Thorin sighed. He was relieved that Fíli wasn’t doing this out of some childish fit after not getting what he wanted. Instead, he felt proud that his nephew was being so noble. He clasped Fíli’s shoulder, “You are a good man. I don’t say it enough to you nor your brother, but I am proud of the men you are becoming. Your father would be as well.”

Fíli’s throat tightened as he clasped his Uncle’s shoulder returning the gesture.

“That being said,” Thorin said, “I must tell you that you’ve made a grave mistake.” He rose his other hand to grip Fíli’s shoulders steadily, “Helen is not marrying Glorfindel nor is she to marry any other. She is unattached to another. Glorfindel is her adoptive brother. These past days, if you had not bound yourself to your rooms, you would have seen Helen wearing a great many gifts her elder brother has given her. He is quite keen to make sure she has anything she should need to appear in any social situation. I think she may be a bit put out by all the fanfare, but she allows him his fancies for affection as you would with Kíli.”

As he had expected, the news seemed to take the air right out of Fíli, who swayed upon his feet. Thorin guided him to the seat behind him, taking the other as he waited for the news to settle fully.

Fíli was flabbergasted. How had he so badly misunderstood the situation? He felt foolish and ashamed. He should not have be listening to their conversation at all, but when he had heard it, he should not have rushed to conclusions. After all, he had come up in the middle of it and likely hadn’t heard the end. He heard only pieces of their talk and had allowed his own fears and self-doubt to run away with him.

He felt queasy when he thought of how Helen must be feeling. He had refused to said a word to her when she had come to his door to offer her healing cream for his injury. He winced as he recalled the sadness and defeat in her words when she promised she’d not come to him again. She may not come to him, but he would go to her.

At once he stood, chair falling over backwards in his rush, “I must find her.”

Thorin looked alarmed, “And what will you say? Looking like that she will think you a wraith come to haunt her. For Mahal’s sake, bathe and dress yourself first. If you are to stand a chance at getting her forgiveness for your foolishness than at least look worthy of it. Mahal forbid you confess your affections looking like death warmed over. Your mother would kill me if I allowed it.” Thorin tutted as he steered his nephew to the bathroom, “I’ll have someone bring you water for your tub. Get to work on that rats’ nest of hair in the meantime.”

* * *

 

It was a refreshed feeling and looking Fíli, who at last made his way down the halls to Helen’s rooms. He had been informed by a startled Gandalf and pleased looking Elrond that she had gone there earlier. He figured it a good place to start.

When he approached her rooms, he noticed her door was ajar. He knocked on the frame of the open door, “Hello? Helen, it’s Fíli. I need to speak with you, if you’ll do me the honor.”

No one answered and he peeked his head in looking around. He couldn’t see anyone. Thinking perhaps she was on the balcony, he hesitantly entered. “Helen?” he called as he looked around. He didn’t fear her being indecent since the door was open, but he felt odd entering a ladies’ room without permission to do so.

He walked to the balcony, but something grabbed his attention on the way. He stopped and stare in awe. It was some likenesses of Bilbo, Thorin, Kíli, and himself. They were vivid and in color and he wondered how such a thing was done. He had not known that Helen was such an artist. He approached her bed where the book laid open. He smiled at Bilbo’s image. The hobbit had been captured smiling fondly. Thorin too had a soft look that was rare to see. He grinned at Kíli’s laughter. Helen had managed to capture him so well that Fíli could see the tears at the corners of his eyes. The writing beneath the image made him laugh, ‘Puppy Durin. Best smile from the most precious of people.’

He looked to his image and stared in awe. She had captured him with a bashfulness about him. The pink of his cheeks in the image had his face blushing then as he look at it. It was such an interesting expression for her to pick. He had little doubt who had been on his mind when he wore such a look. His eyes fell to the writing beneath and his heart skipped, ‘Fíli the Lion of Durin. I could have loved him.’ This breath left him as he re-read the words and what they meant.

“Fíli?” a voice called from the door.

He jumped back from the side of the bed, eyes wide.

Helen stood looking guarded and a bit agitated as her eyes flicked from his guilty expression to the open book she had left out. “What are you doing in my room?” she asked curious but also confused after being avoided for so long.

Her question seemed to shake him out of his shock and he rubbed his neck sheepishly, “I came to see you, to speak with you. No one answered.”

She frowned, “So you let yourself in?”

“No!” he held out his hands, shaking them, “No! It was open. I just looked in to see if you were maybe on the balcony, but this caught my eye and-“

Her frown deepened as her cheeks flushed. She had some idea of what he had read, “That was private.”

“I-I know. It was open too. I just-“

“You just what? Help yourself to things left open?” she said moving to shut the book, holding it protectively against her chest, “What are you doing here, Fíli? You made it rather clear you wanted nothing to do with me.”

He looked down ashamed, “I’m sorry. I made a grave mistake. I heard somethings and made conclusions without the whole story.” He took a step forward, moving to take her hand, but she stepped back. His shoulders fell, “Helen, I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to respect a choice I had thought you made.”

Her brows furrowed and she shook her head, “Well, you did hurt me. I thought we had become close. That we were friends even. I don’t see how I could have done anything to warrant such a cold severing of our connection.”

“That was never my intention,” he ran a hand through his hair, “Helen, I overheard part of a conversation you had with Glorfindel in the gardens. I thought you were to be married. I wanted to respect that and not possibly make you uncomfortable.”

“Married!? What? He is a brother to me. He has taken me under his wing and into his house. I’d no sooner marry him than you would Kíli. And what would’ve made me uncomfortable about being near you if that had been true?” she said.

He clenched his eyes closed, feeling an increasing panic swell within him. He had screwed up everything. She was angry and hurt now. He had only himself to blame. "I already love you as a person, as a friend, but, " at last, he blurted out his secret, “I’m falling _in_ love with you. I can't place exactly when it began or if it has been slowly coming on from the start, but I am. I grow more fond of you with every little thing I discover about you, with every moment spent in your presence.”

Helen sucked in a breath, her arms falling at her side, the book to the floor. “What?”

He opened his eyes meeting hers steadily, “I said, I’m falling in love with you.” He swallowed down his nerves and stepped closer to her, “I’m falling further for you with each passing day, each smile, each laugh, each witty remark. You have become a friend to me. A dear friend. I cherish that friendship. Each day without you has been meet with a pain in my chest and an ache in my heart for I dearly love your presence. Simply being near you makes me feel better, stronger, braver, happier. Your wide-eyed wonder at the world and selfless concern for others has made me want to be a better person, to cherish the world around me and the people in it in a way I had never considered before. You make me better. It is for these reasons, my growing feelings for you and your friendship, that I shut myself in my rooms. I did not want to let my affections show and make you uncomfortable if your heart belonged to another. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship like that. Not because of these growing feelings for you, you mean too much to me for that. I can't lose you. I need you in my life. In any way, you wish it. As a friend,” he took her hand raising it to his lips, placing a kiss upon her knuckles, "or as much more. I'm yours."

Helen could only stand and shake her head as her heart raced and flipped and sputtered and flew. She felt overwhelmed. She was shocked by his confession for she was beginning to give up hope. She was irritated that this all was from a misunderstanding. She was awed at hearing what he thought of her. Her heart had been revived in her chest. Jolted at his words and now raced through her chest as she realized what he was saying. Tears spilled from her eyes, falling down her cheeks as a shaky sob left her.

He took her face between his palms, brushing her tears away and shushing her gently, “Shh, shh. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” He pulled her into his chest holding her as she all but collapsed into it, her shoulders shaking as she clutched his shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I’ll never leave you again unless you should wish it,” he murmured into her hair as he rocked her.

She clutched his shirt tighter at his words. Burying her face into his neck, his beard brushing her cheek as she released all the emotions she had been pushing down. His hands rubbed her back and combed through her hair as he whispered words of comfort and affection and apology to her.

It was some time later when her hiccups subsided and her breathing returned to normal. Neither made move to pull back from the embrace, however, both relishing something they had begun to fear would never be felt again.

After some time simply soaking in the feeling of being in each other’s arms, Fíli spoke, his voice rumbling though his chest, “The words you wrote beneath the image of me in your book, is there any chance that it may still be true?” His hands ran through her hair as he asked.

She froze, feeling embarrassed that he had seen what she had written, but she relaxed once more after remembering what he had just confessed. The way his heart raced through his pulse her nose was pressed against helped steal her nerves. “Yes,” she said barely above a whisper, “Yes, it’s still true.” She pulled back to look down into his eyes, “I could still fall for you. Rather easily, I think.”

He gave her a tender smile, as he sighed out in relief. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I’m very glad and honored to hear that.” His hand cupped her cheek and he brought her head down to rest his forehead to hers, their noses brushing. He rubbed his nose to hers affectionately. They stood like that for a long time, soaking in each other’s presence after so long an absence and enjoying their newfound closeness and understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certainly hope that made up for the last chapter. I told you all that it would not last long and here we are. Day 7 and they've settled things...and then some.
> 
> Key points of the chapter:
> 
> -Galadriel's letter detailing Helen is halfelven and not able to go back into her world, likely ever.  
> -Helen spies something in some photos between Bilbo and Thorin... possibly.  
> -Thorin is sneaky cause he cares and also kinda scary when he demands Fili get it together  
> -Fili gets it together  
> -Fili seeks out Helen discovering a picture she took of him and her words beneath, he dares to hope.  
> -Helen calls him out  
> -Fili apologies and then confesses he is starting to fall for her- HAND KISSES!  
> -Helen cries into his chest/neck -HEIGHT DIFFERENCES- lets face it. She needed a good cry. That was a hell of a last few days.
> 
> Love you all! More coming soon! I love hearing your feelings about the chapters and of things you wish to come! Thank you all for commenting and reading!
> 
> Now for pics:  
> Helen swag- https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=229288781  
> Helen's picture of Bilbo's cuteness at Thorin- http://nerdeeart.tumblr.com/post/157844320846/quick-little-blushing-bilbo-work-was-crazy  
> Of Thorin's smile to Bilbo- https://olga51275.deviantart.com/art/Thorin-Oakenshield-357827761  
> Of Kili's laugh... pretend its Kili and not aidan being aidan...cute irish shit- https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d0/a9/e9/d0a9e9500519b2e6f73d55d7a4eba495--turner-aidan-billy-boyd.jpg  
> Of Fili's BLUSH- https://mhyin.deviantart.com/art/You-Sweet-Babu-377331339


	21. Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of an "us".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, sorry this took a while. I have been planning a wedding that is coming up Halloween weekend. It's been nuts. To add to it, I got sick. I was writing still through it all, but when I got better and reread it- well, it was crap. It made little sense and was all over the place. I had to trash it and start over. This chapter was a feat to do. But, I like how it turned out. Plenty of fluff but also some serious topics.
> 
> Enjoy!

When Helen did at last pull from Fíli’s embrace, she knew that there was no time like the present, and if the recent misunderstanding between the two of them had taught her anything, it was that communication was vital if a relationship with Fíli was something she wished to pursue- which she did. There would be enough drama in that endeavor without adding to the mix. Besides, theirs was a special circumstance. He deserved to know fully what he may be getting involved with, and it was better now before either may be hurt later on.

It was with that in mind that Helen spoke, “Fíli, before we let this go any further, there are somethings that I learned recently- about myself- that I feel you should know.”

Fíli’s tender expression turned at once to one of concern. He took her hand and guided her to the chairs near the fireplace, “Is something wrong? You’re okay?” he asked as he glanced her over for sign of injury or illness.

She managed to give him the tiniest of smiles despite the butterflies in her belly. It seemed to ease his worry somewhat, though her stomach was still heavy with dread. She was worried that if he knew what she did he may not wish to be with her after all.

 “When I realized how I felt for you,” she said at last, “There was so much I didn’t know about myself- things that I thought I should know before I even considered telling you how I felt. Since coming to this world, I’ve had so many questions. So many. I didn’t know if I would ever get any answers to any of them; it was driving me crazy, Fíli. I don’t like it when I don’t know how to fix something, and I didn’t even know where to begin. So I just pushed it all to the side. Over time, I just got so used to locking up all these unknowns about myself that I nearly forgot how much I truly didn’t know. And then you came along.”

She looked to her hands that were still being held by his much larger ones and she smiled down at them, “I knew so much about you before I met you. Not everything, but enough. I knew enough. Enough to like your character, because that is what you used to be to me. And then I met you and it was nerve-wracking because for nearly my whole life I had read about you and your bother and Thorin. And then to see you living and breathing and real.”

She looked up at him. Her eyes sweeping over his face, “And you were so much better than I ever could have imagined. You so far exceeded any expectations, and believe me, they were very, very high expectations. I was absolutely star struck when I first saw you. You were a beloved storybook hero come to life. It was amazing. I’m still a bit amazed by it. I think a part of me will always expect to wake up and find this all a dream, but I certainly hope it isn’t.” The corner of her mouth quirked as his cheeks slowly pinked along with her words. She sighed. “But then, you all didn’t like me or trust me. And I-“ She shushed him as he started to apologize, “No, no. I don’t blame you. I don’t blame any of you. I mean, I’m an elf and a stranger and I couldn’t communicate with you at all. I can’t even image what would have happened if Gandalf wasn’t there to translate for me.”

She ignored the dark look that fell over his face as he imagine just how that would have likely gone. There was no sense getting upset over what hadn’t happened however. Instead, she pressed on, “It served a purpose though. It snapped me out of my awe and made me stop looking at you all as characters come to life, and look at you all as living, breathing people. It made it all more real, I think. And aware. I was all too aware of the lot of you. After all, I had to make sure one of you wasn’t going to decide to off me or something. I spent most of those first few days torn between a mix of awe, disbelief, sadness, and overwhelming amounts of excitement. I was so damn happy to meet you all and I spent all of my time watching you all. Just taking it all in, really. It was how I started to notice things. Little things that weren’t really ever mentioned in any of the stories about you all. Silly things about each of you really, like how Bifur has this knack with children,” she grinned as Fíli chuckled.

“It is true. Kí and I always thought it was funny too,” he said through his chuckling.

She giggled, “It really is. He looks so scary. The scariest, most likely, though don’t tell Dwalin I said that. But kids just flock to him, don’t they? It’s incredibly sweet how he whittles little toys and hands them out to each child he sees.”

“I honestly have no idea where he keeps them all. His pack must be 90% toys and 10% supplies,” he laughed.

Helen giggled harder, “Right? It is impressive, truly.” Once their laughter had trickled off, her grin turn shier, “I noticed things about you as well.”

His eyes widened a bit and his breath caught at the way she was looking up at him through her lashes. Her bashfulness made his heart burst and his face heat all at once. He swallowed, “You, you did?”

She nodded.

“Like what?” he wondered.

She chewed her inner cheek, “Well, like how big of a heart you have.”

He flushed.

“It’s true. Many people are kind. People do nice things because it is expected or polite habit even. But you genuinely care about people, don’t you?” she said, “It was small things I saw. You buying a pencil for Ori in Hobbiton when his snapped as he sketched, and then placing it into his bag without him knowing. Most people would make it a gesture. People tend to want acknowledgement when they do nice things, but you snuck it in and never said a word about it. And then there is the way you make adjustments for Bombur’s weight and size without drawing attention to it. When it is time to sit around the fire, you somehow corral the others into leaving the one spot where Bombur will be able to sit easily. And you do it without anyone being any wiser to it, without Bombur even noticing, I think. You just do it. And how you talk with Dori when he goes on a detailed lecture about how certain teas go best with certain moods or how purple shouldn’t be an autumn color because it brings to mind wine and parties and feelings of spring. You don’t just sit there blanking out as he speaks like most everyone else does. You actively engage in it. And you are genuine about it.”

She shook her head, “If things like that weren’t enough, one look at the way you are with Kíli would show it. You two are close. Of course you are, but it’s the way you are with him. You are protective, yes. And doting. But it’s more than that. He looks to you a lot. Before he does almost anything, he glances your way. Before saying something to Thorin or offering to do a task, he looks to you. You’re his support system, always giving him exactly the push or nudge or warning he needs.”

Fíli let out a small dry laugh of a sound, looking down, “I guess I do do that. Our father died when we were young. Well, no. I was young; Kí, Kí was just a little thing. Barely talking. All curls and grins too wide for his chubby cheeks and faster in his feet than anyone that small has any business being.” They chuckled at that. “Ma was devastated. She just-“ his voice cracked and he cleared his throat.

Helen squeezed his hand, “It’s ok. Fíli, you don’t have to talk about it.”

He grinned, “I know. But I want to tell you.” Giving her hand a return squeeze, he spoke, “Ma fell apart when Da died. They were so in love. I remember it so clearly still. Ma would light up a room when Da was around and he only had eyes for her. It was as though she hung the stars in the sky. When he was gone, Ma’s light went with him. Even still when she laughs, there is something in her missing. So, I grew up fast. I made her coffee in the mornings like Da used to. At 10 years old, I had coffee waiting for my mother when she came to the kitchen. And for Kí, I felt like I had to make up for all the time I got to have with Da that Kí never would. I never wanted him to feel the absence like I did. So, I did all the things my father used to do for me. I’d chase away the monsters under the bed. I’d teach him to braid his hair. I taught him about strangers and how to speak to elders. Ma was there. She was dimmed, less vibrant, but she is a good Ma, wonderful even, but there are somethings that a Da teaches his son and so I did them instead. When Thorin declared me his heir, my lessons became more intense. It was at my earnest that Kíli was made to attend as well. Everything I was taught as an heir, Kí would learn as well. How to fight. How to ride a pony. How to delegate. All of it. After a while, Thorin became more a father figure to us, but he is dimmed too. Like Ma. They’ve both suffered greatly. I never wanted Kí to lose his light.”

Helen took a shaky breath as he finished. “Fíli, you are remarkable. You take way too much on yourself though,” she grinned at his sheepish smirk and eye roll, “I’m serious; you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, which is not healthy. But you are such a good person, Fíli. You’re a good son and a good brother and a good friend. You’re a good man.” She gave a shrug, “It’s no wonder I fell for you. I’d have to be a blind idiot not to.”

He chuckled, looking pinker than ever, “Well, I don’t know about all of that, but I’m glad you did.”

She scoffed, “It’s crazy that you honestly can’t see how amazing you are. You’re a damn unicorn.” At his confused look, she laughed, “It’s an expression from my world saying that you’re the equivalent of finding the rarest and most magical of mythical creatures.” They shared smiles and she sighed. “When I realized how I felt about you was starting to change, at first it didn’t matter. I couldn’t speak to you all still. I thought it was a crush and pushed it down most of the time, but then you nearly drowned. You stopped breathing and your heart wasn’t beating. It was a terrible way to realize that my feelings were not the usual crush. Not some silly fan crush on an idol. I cared for you deeply. Still, I never imagined anything would come of it and then the trolls happened and then Gandalf did his wizardy thing and then I could understand you all.”

He grinned remembering back on it, “Your speech was impressive. Gandalf really has a knack for timing.”

She snorted and gave him a light shove earning chuckles, “Damn wizard meddling. He could have warned me first, but no. He decided you all needed to hear.”

Fíli’s grin turned to a smirk, “It could’ve been worse. You could’ve been ranting about how impossible we all were. You weren’t exactly treated all that well up until then.” He looked sorry for it now.

She brushed it off, “Don’t. I’ve already said I didn’t blame you all for how you treated me. Though I do wish you all would try to make Bilbo feel more welcome.” Fíli flinched at her disapproving look, feeling poorly for not trying more to ensure that Bilbo did not get the brunt of his Uncle’s poor temper. She pressed on, “It was then that I started thinking about ‘what if’s. What if I did want to be with you? What if you liked me as well? What if. What if. What if. All the things I had wondered about myself since coming to Middle Earth all surged forth and I just knew that I had to get answers before I could let myself really entertain, even the thought, of there ever being an us,” she gestured between them.

He nodded, rubbing his thumb over the back of her knuckles affectionately, “And you found them? The answers?”

She nodded. Her mouth opened and closed several times.

At her hesitation to continue, he brought one of her hands up placing a kiss upon it, “There is nothing you could say that would scare me away.”

She took a breath as she began, “I was most worried that there was a chance that I could, in the future, unexpectedly return to my world in much the same way that I came into this one.”

His grip on her hands tightened just slightly. The way his gentle smile he managed to give her didn’t quite reach his eyes betrayed his feigned calm as the implications settled in his mind. His voice remained even as he spoke, “And could you? I know you likely wish to go home. Is it possible?”

She was amazed that he was still trying to sound happy for her even when the tension radiating off him gave away his despair at the thought. She squeezed his hands in reassurance, as she spoke, “No. I likely won’t ever be able to go back. I’m no longer human, a child of man. I’m half what I was and half elven now. Elves do not exist in my world.”

His breath whooshed out of him. She saw a flash of relief in his eyes, but his words were only those of comfort. “I’m so sorry, Helen. Though I do not know what it feels like to lose your home, I’ve seen what that can do to someone. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to not let you get to that dark place. My Uncle and even my own Mother hold that sadness and loss in their eyes. I’d do anything to spare you that pain,” he said.

“Oh Fíli,” she let out a weak laugh of disbelief, “If you get any more perfect, I may not be able to handle it.”

He looked a bit embarrassed.

She chuckled, shaking her head, “I’m sorry. I’m not used to someone looking after me. I’m afraid you’ll have to bear with me as I stumble awkwardly until I get used to the idea. I’m used to doing the looking after.”

He smiled softly then, “You mean with Charlotte?” At her wince, he froze his smile slipping away as he closed his eyes, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think-“

She shushed him, “It’s okay. I need to talk about it. Not going back to my world has only one real loss I can’t get over. Charlotte may not have been blood, but she was my sister in every meaning of the word since childhood. I miss her deeply. I just wish that I could know if she was alright. I worry for her illness.”

“Maybe you can,” he said.

“Huh,” she looked up confused.

His brows furrowed as he thought, “Who knows what the future may hold. After all, you were able to get answers to questions about yourself. Maybe there is a way to learn of her wellbeing.”

Helen smiled wistfully, “Perhaps. Though, I fear looking as well.” At his questioning expression, she explained, “I learned about another complication to my ability to return. Time moves differently in my world and this one. If I did look, she may be old and gray or even-“ Her voice hitched.

He reached up to brush a strand of hair from her cheek, “I’m sorry.”

She leaned into his palm, her eyes closing, “Thank you.” She took his hand from her cheek, tracing patterns into his palm. At last she spoke, “You may be right though. Perhaps there could be a way to find out how she is. It’s the not knowing that is worst I think. I can’t come to terms with it really, because I don’t know what I’m trying to come to terms with.” She sighed. “There is nothing more to be done now, however. I’m in this world. I am another race than from how I was born. My very biology has changed,” she shook her head, “It is hard to wrap my head around, honestly. Hearing it is one thing, but I can’t seem to come to terms with what I am now.”

He glanced up at her bashfully, “You are beautiful.”

Her cheeks flushed.

He seemed to gain nerve as he continued, “Inside and out, you are. I may not understand much about how it happened- how you came to our world- other than that the gods deemed it so, but I know that you are still you. Whether here or there, Man or Elf, you are still yourself. That hasn’t changed,” he grinned and reached to brush one of her pointed ears, “even if somethings have.”

She smiled, a few giggles escaping as his touch tickled her ear. She shook her head, “How am I ever going to be able to be mad at you if you keep saying such perfect things?”

He chuckled, “I guess you’ll just have to get used to letting me get away with everything.”

She scoffed, “Or perhaps instead of mad I’ll just get even.”

His shoulders shook as he chuckled, hiding his mirth behind a hand.

She watched him laughing as butterflies took off in her belly. His eyes twinkling and dimples in full play. She was amazed once more that someone so rugged and powerful looking- so very masculine could be so gentle and beautiful. She wanted to kiss him. Dear gods above, she desperately wanted to pull him over and kiss him until his giggling stopped, and then she wanted to kiss him more.

Instead she blurted, “I may not be able to give you children.”

His laughter sputtered. His eyes wide as he looked at her now bright red face, “W-what?” he choked.

She cursed herself, because honestly, she planned to get to this part delicately and with as little embarrassment as possible. Instead, the overwhelming urge to kiss him senseless had panicked her and she had blurted out the first thing that came to mind. She cringed, “I’m sorry. I just- um, well.” She cleared her throat noticing how very pink he had become as well. “I know it is not something that is exactly appropriate to talk about right now, or at all… my world is different. We are more, um open about these things, even if I personally would rather not talk about it in a non-medical or scientific way. But considering…” she trailed off.

He started to speak but she urged herself on.

“No, wait, let me get this out before I chicken out,” she said, “I wanted to know, because this, this world and the people in it, is all new to me. While I know a lot about many different things in this world, there are many more things I don’t. The biology of the races of this world and how they mesh together. With the origins of Dwarves being from a different maker than Men and Elves, I did not know if the races were genetically or even physically compatible enough to produce viable offspring or to even mate to begin with.”

Fíli was lost now. Lost, but he got enough to be thoroughly shy at what he thought she was talking about. As her rambling quickened and her hands began to squeeze his palm, he pushed his embarrassment aside. He took his hand back, and cupped her face, “Helen, you are talking rather fast and using words I’m unfamiliar with. Breathe, its okay. I’m not going anywhere. Just breathe.” She did as he asked and he nodded, “Good girl,” he near cooed as though calming a frightened fawn. His thumbs rubbed her cheeks as he breathed in deeply again, coaching her to copy him. He was good at spotting anxieties in others and good at talking people down. He had perfected it as he and Kíli grew, when others teased his younger brother for his smaller beard or preference of a bow over axes and swords.

Her panting eased and her pupils relaxed as her panic eased. She continued to breathe with him until finally his hands fell from her face. She smiled at him in thanks, “I’m sorry. I have been a bit nervous about this part of the talk and I’ve never been entirely good with talking about these sort of things, in regards to myself. I am a scientific mind at heart and I get a bit lost in it once I get started sometimes.” She explained, “My worries were to do with the way the races of this world were made, how they were assembled and if they could,” she flushed intertwining her hands to represent a blending, “mix well on a fundamental level.” She sighed as he nodded that he followed though his cheeks were back to pink. It was fine. Hers matched. “These kinds of things are known to you all. These are things that are learned as you grew up, but I was plopped here without knowing any of it. I had to know if what I am could interfere with my future,” she glanced up at him, “And if we were, well, a ‘we’, I needed to know how it could interfere with our future.”

He swallowed as he processed her meaning. While ‘children’ had startled him, he understood what she was saying. It was not a usual courtship- He flushed as he looked at her and wondered if it was a courtship. After all, he hadn’t asked her yet. He looked over her face, her light brown hair, her gray-blue eyes. His heart skipped as she met his gaze. She was embarrassed but trying to be brave. Her small shoulders squared and chin lifted just a tad, as though daring him to tease her, and he adored her all the more for it. He breathed in. He knew that this was what he wanted, she was what he wanted. No matter what else came with it. They’d figure it out. Together. He lifted her hand and kissed the back, feeling her shiver as he did.

She watched him kiss her hand. The look in his eyes tender and supportive, though his cheeks were still the slightest bit pink as he nodded for her to go on. She was glad she hadn’t offended him. She forgot sometimes that this world was different from hers in many ways more than just magical creatures and fairytales. “I had never heard of dwarves and elves being, um, together,” she cleared her throat, “I didn’t even know if I was truly an elf. As it turns out, I am only half. No one seems to recall if it is possible for a dwarf and elf to…” she flushed, “but for dwarves and men, it has before. It is not really an answer, but it is all I have.”

He pictured a blonde child with gray eyes and found a pang of longing spread through his chest, “So, it could be possible, but it may not be. Though no one knows for sure, is that right?” He asked.

She nodded weakly, “Yes.”

“Well,” he said with a shrug, “then it is not very much different from the usual.”

She stammered, “What?”

He grinned softly, “Dwarves are rare for a reason. Not only because dwarven women are so rare and our stubbornness to not move on if our chosen does not return our feelings- especially so with dwarven women, but also because sometimes unions don’t produce children.”

She blinked, “Really?’

He nodded, “Truly, some lines have more luck than others, but it is still true for all of my race.”

She sat back at that, “Oh, I had no idea.”

He chuckled, “Nor would most. Us dwarves are a secretive lot. Such matters are known among dwarven folk, so they are not often discussed.”

“Cultural knowledge,” she nodded, “I just assumed, because you and your brother, and then your mother being one of three,” she said.

He grinned, chest puffing out a bit in pride, “Yes, my line is one of the unusually lucky.”

She thought for a moment, “But, if that is the case, then what if- What if we do get to that point? What if I’m not able to give you an heir? Fíli, you are Thorin’s heir. Surely this is a big deal. Should you not try to find a dwarven woman? One more likely to give you such a child? Do you not want children? I mean, I have never really wanted kids of my own, so-”

His brows furrowed, “You don’t want children?”

She stopped, “Well, it was never really that I didn’t want children. I just never had an urge to have any of my own. I always planned to adopt.” She studied him a moment, “Fíli, if children is something you are passionate about, you might need to look elsewhere. I never had a longing to carry a child of my own and the odds of it happening anyway seem slim to none. You are the heir, after all. I’m sure this is a pretty important issue. Perhaps we shouldn’t get any more involved than we already are.”

He pursed his lips. The image of the blonde child with gray eyes flashing though his mind once more. He tried to picture his child with a different mother, a truly dwarven child, with different features and even a full dwarven beard, but it did nothing. He felt no pang of longing. It felt as though seeing another’s child, not his, not hers, not theirs. He realized then that he was already too far in his feelings for Helen. His heart already belonged to hers. He had found fallen for her already. He had found his One. If not with her, he would never wish for children, let alone have them.

“Helen, it doesn’t matter to me that you are not a dwarven lass,” he said at last, “I don’t care that you are half-elf nor that you come from another world. Even if we never are graced with a child of our own, whether because it won’t happen or because you don’t ever wish it, I would still want to be with you. I would chose you a thousand times over. And if it was something you wanted and did happen, there is no other I could ever want that with. Heir or no. Children or no. I chose you. I chose us. This,” he said gesturing between them, “This and you and us.”

A tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. He wiped without a thought and she smiled. “Okay.”

“Okay?” he asked.

“Okay,” she nodded.

“Okay, what?” he prodded cautiously, “Okay, the child thing is settled or…”

“This. Us,” she smiled, “If you truly aren’t scared off after all of that.”

“I’m not,” he assured her.

She smiled, “Then okay.”

His dimples appeared as he returned her smile, bring her hands up between them to kiss her palms, “Okay,” he smirked as her breath hitched at the feel of his lips to her palms.

* * *

 

Fíli and Helen spoke through until dinner, where he escorted her upon his arm. If seeing the two in the same room wasn’t a shock enough, seeing the way Helen beamed at Fíli or how he looked to her like she hung the stars certainly served to do the trick.

The dwarves made a good ruckus at the sight, wolf-whistles and smirks abound. Kíli wore the biggest grin and coins were tossed as bets were cashed in. Gandalf’s eye were exceptionally twinkly as he chuckled merrily at the sight of the oblivious love birds who were so wrapped up in each other that they missed the wave their entrance had made. Thorin eyed the pair studiously before turning back to his meal. He glanced at the wizard with a lifted brow, “You seemed pleased.”

“Oh, indeed,” the wizard chuckled, “I take great joy in the happiness of others, my friend. And I dare say, I could not have wished it on two more deserving. The pair have been circling each other since near on the moment they met.”

Thorin’s brows furrowed as he thought back, “Did not my nephew pull a knife on her when first they met?”

Glorfindel’s eyes flashed, though a hand on his arm from Lord Elrond kept him in his seat.

Gandalf chuckled, “Indeed, the passion was already there. Or the seeds for it at least.”

Thorin seemed at a loss, “I dare say, if threats are romance to wizards, it is no wonder you don’t hear of them marrying.”

Elrond seemed to come down with a sudden cough, which he hid behind a napkin.

Gandalf harrumphed as he patted the Elven Lord’s back lightly, “You cannot argue the results,” he said looking to the couple as they neared.

Thorin watched as Fíli delivered Helen into her seat, bowing over her hand before moving to his own chair. Thorin shook his head, even as a tiny grin twitched at his mouth, “No, indeed you can’t.”

* * *

 

That dinner, Fíli and Helen remained in the clouds. Both wore silly grins and were prone to stealing glances. Luckily, their absorption into their own little worlds made them miss much of the teasing remarks of their friends. At last, it seemed that the lack of reaction from the pair made it lose its fun and the jeering stopped.

Kíli turned to his brother and saw his eyes glued to Helen’s figure near the head of the table. He chuckled and nudged his brother’s side, “She looks lovely tonight.”

A sigh and agreeing comment was the absentminded reply.

Kíli snorted, “I take it you two finally spoke. I told you she wasn’t engaged.”

That did catch Fíli’s attention, who at last looked from the vision of twinkling gems in Helen’s hair to his smug younger brother. Fíli rolled his eyes once he pieced together what had been said, “Yes, we talked. You were right,” he nudged Kíli, “Don’t look so smug about it. I admit I should’ve listened to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Kíli stuck his pinkie in his ear giving it a good shake, “I must’ve had something in my ear. What did you say?”

Fíli scoffed, but obliged, “You were right.”

“And?”

Eyes rolled, “I should’ve listened to you.”

“And?”

“You’re an insufferable ass,” Fíli flicked some potato at Kíli.

Kíli merely beamed with the white blob on his cheek, “I’m an ass, but I’m an ass who was right.”

Fíli groaned, “I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?”

“Nope.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, older brother.”

“Love you too, brat.”

“Hey!”

Fíli chuckled as he went back to eating.

* * *

 

At the head of the table, the sound of Fíli’s laughter drew Helen’s gaze. Her heart clenched and then surged ahead at the sight of his eye-crinkled, dimpled smile.

Elladan and Elrohir snickered.

Her eyes moved to the twins and she flushed at having been caught staring.

Elrond sent the pair a look, silencing their teasing. He turned to Helen with a gentle smile, “I am glad you are back to your old self once more.”

She smiled shyly, “Thank you.”

“Things were all worked out then?” he inquired politely.

She nodded glancing down the table once more, “Yes, everything is perfect.”

She missed the dreamy quality of her voice, but Glorfindel did not. Nor did he miss the glances the fairest heir of Durin sent her way. Nor did he miss what Thorin had said about the dwarf pulling out a knife upon meeting her.

Glorfindel decided then that he would have to make sure the dwarf had only the best intentions with Helen. He’d have to gather information. It would take stealth. He eyed the twins in thought. Perhaps the pair could provide some assistance, after all, they were renowned for their tracking skills and patrols to the North.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you go. One of the most important talks that will likely ever take place in this story. Helen being from another world and being of a different race raised some questions. I hope this settled some of the biggest ones. 
> 
> -She likely wont ever go back to Earth.
> 
> -She is halfelven.
> 
> -Her and Fili are physically compatible. *wink wonk*
> 
> -They might not be able to have kids, both because no one knows if Dwarves and Elves can have kids and because Dwarves sometimes can't. Idk why, low sperm count maybe? Or low egg count? Idk. I haven't really put much thought into it because the biology didn't matter in that much detail, but just know that sometimes dwarves can't have kids.
> 
> -The dwarves are very proud of Fili.
> 
> -Gandalf is kind of a brat.
> 
> -Thorin can be too though.
> 
> -Elrond nearly chokes on wine.
> 
> -Glorfindel is in bother-mode.
> 
> Viola! Those are the major (and not so major) points to take away from the chapter. That the fact that Fili is definitely a unicorn. Helen can't even half the time. I would've snogged his face off, propriety be damned.   
> More soon!  
> :3


	22. Brother Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen talks with Bilbo and Glorfindel confronts her about some worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments! I hope you enjoy this chapter! I needed some Bilbo and Glorfindel in my life. :3

The next day Helen found herself wandering around the gardens and pathways of Rivendell. Her time away from the valley had seemed much longer than it had actually been. It wouldn’t be too long until the Company would set off again, and she knew the journey would push her to her limits. She needed this time to reflect back on when all seemed hopeless- when their journey seemed too much. She planned to soak in as much of the peacefulness in the air as she could. Melodies from her world floated through the air as she hummed to herself. Since she and Fíli had talked things out, it was as though Helen floated on clouds. She felt like a teenager again. He was like a Prince in shining armor that she dreamed of as a little girl. Then again, he kind of was a Prince and likely did have shiny armor somewhere.

Her musings were interrupted when she spotted a familiar figure on a bench overlooking some waterfalls. Reddish brown curls bobbed as he sat swinging his legs and humming as he smoked on his long pipe. “Master Baggins,” she called out as she neared, “mind if I join you?”

The hobbit perked up, turning to give her a wide pleased grin, “No, indeed. Please do.”

She sat and looked out, “It is a beautiful spot. I don’t think I’ve discovered this one yet.”

“It is something, isn’t it?” he said.

She smiled, “Sometimes, in moments like these, I am left in awe of how otherworldly Rivendell’s beauty is.”

Bilbo murmured in agreement, eyes sweeping the view of the falls and the colorful valley below. The leaves were auburn, gold, and orange; and Bilbo thought it likely that no other places was as lovely in autumn.

“The more I see the more I think that all of Middle Earth must be breathtaking,” she added, “All the places I see is striking in its own way. The Shire’s rolling green hills with hobbit holes and pretty gardens. The wide open landscape of the Lonelands dotted with crumbling towers. The rocky boulders and thick woods of the Trollshaws. Imladris in all its glory. Your world is a beautiful one, Master Baggins.”

He smiled at her words, picturing them as she spoke, “Yes, well, it is your world now too, isn’t it?”

She blinked.

“I am glad you were here on this journey, Ms. Helen,” he said as he puffed on his pipe, “I imagine it would have been a lonely going of it if not for you. While we couldn’t always speak, I enjoyed your company on the road. I am glad to be able to speak with you now.” His look turn a bit shy, “If it would please you, I think I’d be happy to call you a friend and you may call me Bilbo.” He grinned a bit, “I get enough ‘Master Hobbit’ and ‘Master Baggins’ from the group.”

She laughed at that, “I guess that is true. I’d be happy to call you a friend, Bilbo. You may simply call me Helen- the Miss part makes me feel stuffy,” she grinned earning a chuckle of amusement from the hobbit. After they sat for a time in pleasant company, she spoke again, “I’m glad I’ve been able to help you feel not as outside the group. I know the dwarves are not always easy on you,” she grinned as he sent her a look at that and she laughed lightly, “You must trust me when I say that they do not think as poorly of you as you may think. Their culture is a private one, and for good reason. Their mines make them well off, but I’m sure you can imagine the shady characters it draws out of the woodwork. Many have tried to steal from them or worse. They’ve learned to be cautious of outsiders because they’ve had to be. They are like stone; hard to budge once set in their ways,” she smiled wistfully, “But, once their loyalty is gained, you’ll likely have it all of your days. You’ll see.”

He looked doubtful, “Is this one of those,” he swirled his hand gesturing at his eyes, “sight things?”

She grinned, “It is.”

He hummed thoughtfully, puffing on his pipe, “For some perhaps that is true; for others, however,” he muttered with a frown.

Helen caught his meaning, “Thorin doesn’t hate you, Bilbo.”

Bilbo coughed, pounding at his chest, “What- what made you think I was referring to him? I could’ve meant Bofur or- or Nori.”

“Hm,” she nodded, “Yes, you could have, but you didn’t.”

His mouth opened and closed several times. At last he gave a flustered huff, “Yes, well, if he doesn’t _hate_ me then he certainly has taken a _strong_ dislike to me.”

She pursed her lips, “I cannot pretend to read his mind, but I do know a great deal about the future.” That got his attention and she smiled down at him, “I promise you that Thorin will not always be so hard on you. Don’t give up. Prove his views about you wrong and you’ll see.”

Bilbo looked hopefully, “You truly think so?”

She smiled, “I know so.” They sat in peace watching the scenery. “Besides,” she said breaking the silence, “I’d bet that he doesn’t dislike you even now. Perhaps, he just doesn’t know how to talk with you.”

At this thought, Bilbo wondered. His mind raced over every incident and words exchanged between himself and Thorin. Was it possible that Helen was right? Was it possible Thorin didn’t hate him as he had thought?

Bilbo flushed. Perhaps he should do as she suggested and set out to prove Thorin’s opinions wrong. He would make Thorin see that it was not a mistake to come along with the company. He would prove his worth.

Midmorning had passed with Helen and Bilbo enjoying each other’s company. Tea time had been spent talking and lunch was met in the same way. They spoke of life in the Shire and of Helen’s life before. They spoke of the cultures that Helen had studied from her world and of cultures from Middle Earth. She admitted that she did not know as much about the Shire folk as she would like, though she knew quite a bit. Bilbo was so delighted to assist her in furthering her knowledge on the subject, and thus he launched into a lecture of Shire history that would put even the most excellent professor back home to shame.

He had just finished telling her about the famed Bullroarer Took. Helen let out a laugh, “My goodness, I wonder if that is truly how the game of golf was invented.”

Bilbo was chuckling along with her as he puffed his pipe, “That is the story though I have my doubts.”

She shook her head, “Doesn’t sound very hobbit-like- knocking a goblin’s head clean off sounds more dwarf-like than hobbit.”

Bilbo pursed his lips in thought, “I dare say, wouldn’t that be something. Bullroar Took a dwarf.”

“Or partly,” Helen offered.

“Indeed,” Bilbo nodded, “That would be something.”

Approaching feet drew their attention as a head of golden locks came into view. Bilbo’s eyes lit up upon seeing the Balrog Slayer.

Helen waved as he approached and gave a friendly bow to Bilbo, “Good afternoon, heart-sister and Master Hobbit.”

“Good afternoon to be certain,” Bilbo returned, “We have been enjoying the views of your fair home as we spoke.”

Glorfindel smiled kindly to the hobbit, “It warms my heart to hear such praise of the valley. It is indeed a fair place and made all the better with fair company.”

Bilbo preened a bit at the compliment. He then eyed Helen and Glorfindel before standing. He was a very clever fellow and there was something in the air about the famous elf-lord that hinted at his wish to speak privately with Helen. Hooking his thumbs in his suspenders, Bilbo stretched out his legs muscles from having sat so long, “Well, as much as I hate to say it, I should head off. I hoped to speak with the Lord of the Valley about seeing his library.”

Glorfindel gave a bow of his head, “Farwell, Master Hobbit. Might I suggested the study. I find it often the best place to start looking when it is Lord Elrond I’m after.”

Bilbo’s brows rose, “Indeed! Thank you. I feared wondering the many halls for a good many hours before discovering where he may be. Though the halls are very nice to wander in, it is not a task I wish to pursue just now.”

“Knowing Lord Elrond, he is probably reading scrolls at his desk,” Helen added.

Bilbo thanked the pair of them before heading off humming the tune he had been working on before Helen joined him.

Glorfindel watched him go for a moment before sitting upon the now vacant spot beside her. “He is a pleasant fellow,” he said.

“He really is,” she agreed, “Bilbo is a very special person. I’m beyond honored to meet him and call him friend.”

Glorfindel chuckled, “You say that about nearly everyone you meet.”

She scoffed nudging his arm, “Hush you. I nearly always am. You forget that all of you are my storybook heroes come to life.”

He smiled warmly at her, “I haven’t forgotten, but I find it endearing nonetheless.”

She chuckled.

He cleared his throat, “There was something I wished to speak with you about.”

“Shoot,” she said. At his confused look, she explained, “It’s an expression meaning ‘go on’ or ‘go ahead’.”

“Most interesting phrases your world uses,” he mused. “It came to my attention since your return that your interest has been drawn towards a certain dwarf heir,” his tone was lightly curious as he spoke but he watched her with a steady interest.

Helen’s cheeks warmed a bit, “You mean Fíli?”

Glorfindel nodded watching her reactions, “Yes, I noticed the pair of you seemed close.”

She nodded, unable to stop the smile that tugged at her lips. She looked to her lap, flushed, and fiddled with the hem of her tunic, “We are. It hasn’t always been easy, but I think we are in a good place now.”

He saw her bashfulness on the matter and knew the rumors to be true. He was glad she was seemingly happy. The dwarf seemed a decent fellow- proud and loyal, though young by his people’s measure. It was something Glorfindel remembered hearing that troubled him. His mouth tugged downward, “I learned that upon your meeting he threatened you.”

Seeing his concern, she patted his arm, “It is true. When I first stumbled into Bag End- Bilbo’s home- I gave the dwarves a good shock. I was an unexpected guest to a private meeting- an outsider. The fact that I couldn’t speak Westron did not help my cause. They were all on guard. But, it was a matter that was quickly settled thanks to Gandalf’s translating.”

Glorfindel nodded at her answer but still looked concerned, “I also learned that the company was not very kindly to you, even after your gifts.”

She chewed her cheek, “You’ve heard quite a bit haven’t you?”

At that, he gave her a sheepish shrug. He hadn’t gone looking for the information; it had come to him, peaking his curiosity. After all, he had become her elder brother in matters of the heart and according to his people; thus it was his duty to make sure any would be suitors were not out to harm her.

She chuckled, “Well, your sources are once again correct. I only managed to gift the Durins’ the mithril shirts at first. The gifts saved them from thinking I wished to steal from-“ she caught herself. The mission was secret.

Glorfindel rose a brow, “Dear sister, you forget we’ve shared a mindlink. I know what you do.”

She smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, I just don’t want to betray their trust. I forgot for a moment that the mindlink happened.” He said he understood and she continued, “The gifts made it clear I did not wish to gain from their travels.” He nodded that he understood her hidden meaning. “But, it did not fully gain their trust. I did not hold that against them.”

Glorfindel gave her a soft look, though clearly a bit put out that she didn’t fault them somewhat for their rudeness, “You wouldn’t.”

She shrugged, “I just understand where they are coming from. They’ve been through so much. Not just themselves, but their people as a whole. Their privacy and caution is not only expected but often warranted. It is a smart thing to be. I could never hold it against them, even if it did drive me insane at times.”

Glorfindel thought for a moment, “What you say is true. I will have to remember such when dealing with them in the future. It is wrong to hold them to the standards I would an elf. They are dwarves and their experiences are different.”

Helen smiled, “Recognizing cultural differences for what they are and understanding why things are the way they are helps us to better understand others. I’m glad you won’t hold their private nature against them now. I wish more could see them how I do.”

He chuckled, “You are remarkable, sister. I believe you will teach us all a great deal about ourselves before your journey is done.” He thought for a moment and asked, “Then it was the gift of the Valar that bridged the gap and let you finally earn their trust? That was merely days before you entered the valley once more. Did you truly travel all that way facing their disapproval?”

“Well, yes and no. I think I had started to earn it before then,” she said, “Several were actually quite kindly to me, if quietly so. I think that was to not rock the boat- as it were- and not upset the others who did not trust me. Balin was welcoming from very nearly the start. Oin was kind and Bombur too. Bifur was polite. Ori was never rude, though often shy, but that is just his nature. Fíli and Kíli helped me often as they could. At first, they tried to follow Thorin in ignoring me as best they could, but they were all of them- the Durin’s- quite bad at pretending I wasn’t there. Fíli and Kíli couldn’t help smiling kindly at me, even as they stood by Thorin as he huffed. Even Thorin couldn’t help but look out for me, even if he didn’t really wish me along. He bought me a basket filled with travel rations and snacks that first day in Hobbiton. He was so grumpy about giving it too me and I couldn’t understand his words, so I was quite confused by it until recently. The brother’s barely kept the façade up longer than a day or so. Soon they were listening as I spoke with Gandalf or pretending not to watch me curiously. Next thing I knew, they were helping me daily.”

Glorfindel’s brows rose at that, clearly amused by her tale, “It seems they couldn’t bring themselves to treat you ill after all. That is good then. But if you could not speak with them, how did they help you?”

Helen grinned to herself, “They watched me often, so when I was struggling, I guess they decided to help out. Kíli helped with loading and unloading my gear when we made camp, and Fíli taught me to care for my weapons,” she said.

Glorfindel winced, “Ah, I suppose I failed in that, didn’t I?”

She laughed, “If you weren’t such a perfectionist when it comes to the shine of the weapons, maybe I would’ve had a chance at it.” She snickered at the face he pulled, “But no worries, brother mine. Your oversight let Fíli and I have a reason to spend time together. Even if I couldn’t talk with him for most of it, I enjoyed just being around him.” She sighed staring off at nothing, “He is a very kind person. He radiates warmth from his very being. I can’t explain it fully, but being near him just made me relax and content, even out on the road in horrible weather. He just had that kind of presence. Like everything is alright- safe.”

Glorfindel studied her a moment, “You love him?”

Helen’s eyes widened, “W-well-“ She flushed, not meaning to have gone on about him like that, “I love him for the person he is, yes.”

Glorfindel’s eyes narrowed slightly, his mouth inching upwards in a grin, “And?”

She side eyed him, “And-“ She sighed, “And I think I am at great risk of falling head over heels for him. The more I spend time with him the more it grows.”

“Helen?”

She looked at him.

His brows were furrowed, all trance of humor gone. Instead, worry poured from his eyes into hers, “You may not have long with him. What will you do if you cannot change his fate? How will you carry on if he falls with his kin?”

Helen’s heart clenched and she shut her eyes. Her breath was shaky as she steadied her thoughts. “Then,” she breathed out meeting his gaze, “Then I will cherish every moment I have with him. I will commit him to memory and keep him alive in my heart always. The way his eyes crinkle or how his dimples show when he grins. The rich full sound of his voice as he sings. The way his laughter rumbles out of his chest in warm, rich tones that make you unable to stop sharing his mirth. The way his brows furrow so cutely as he cleans his weapons. The way he is always first there at your side to make sure you’re okay. The proud square of his shoulders as he carries so much more than he should have to. The way he looks after those around him, but never take credit for his acts of kindness. The sweet way he looks after his brother, always willing to share the fall for mistakes, even if he was innocent. His playfulness hidden behind his reserved nature. The way a brush of his hand sweeps away all my fears and how –if just for a moment- he makes it seem like it is just me and him and nothing else matters…” Her voice broke off.

Glorfindel watched her crumple in distress, “I’m sorry. I do not wish to cause you pain, sister. I merely wished to share my concerns. It breaks my heart to think you may be left behind to fade away.”

A tear rolled down her cheek, “I know. I know and thank you. I just,” she shook her head, “god, Glorfindel, I will try with all that I am to prevent him from meeting his doom before the mountain, but should I fail…” She looked at him eyes spilling over, “I think I am already too far gone. I think I may love him too much already. I don’t yet if I’m in love with him, but I think even as it is- if I should fail- if he should fall-“ She cut off with a sob.

He took her into his arms, cradling her into his chest. The air was knocked from his lungs as their mind connection woke up. He nearly fell over from the force of her grief and heartbreak, and she was only thinking of her dwarf meeting a poor end. Glorfindel’s grip tightened on her as he rocked her gently. She may not understand fully what was between her and her dwarf, but Glorfindel had an idea that perhaps it was much grander than either parties involved may yet realize. He spoke to her in soft tones, “I’m sorry, sister. I’m sorry. I did not mean to upset you so.”

She gladly returned his hug. Her breath sputtering as she regained control over herself, “No, it’s okay. I’ve been bottling this up, I think. I’m afraid. I’m so very afraid I will fail them. Not just Fíli, but Thorin and Kíli and the whole Company.”

Glorfindel pulled her back, looking into her eyes, “I did not say this because I think you may fail.” He wiped away her tears, “In truth, I feel you will succeed. You are sent by the Valar, of that there is no doubt. You will save them from their fates. I believe this. Just as I did not speak so to hurt you, I did not speak so to cause you to doubt yourself.”

Brows furrowed she shook her head at a loss and feeling exhausted, “Then why?”

He gave her a small smile, “Because, dear sister, if the thought of losing him crushes your very soul, then you must not let him go.”

She blinked.

He gave a nod, “I could not let you tie yourself to anyone less than the one your soul calls to.”

“Like soulmates?” she asked.

He nodded, “Every elf has one.”

Her brow quirked, “Even half-elves?”

He chuckled, “Even half-elves.”

“So,” she spoke as her mind pieced together his meaning, “you think Fíli could be mine?”

He shrugged, “What do you think?”

She blinked. Her mouth opening and closing. “I don’t know,” she admitted.

He patted her arm, “And that is okay. You will find out the answer soon enough. And when you do, you’ll know.”

She smiled gratefully before chuckling, “And how did you become such a love expert?”

He rolled his eyes, “Being alive for so long, you see enough people fall in love to learn how it works.”

She laughed, leaning her head on his shoulder. He rested his cheek atop her head. Both enjoying the affection they shared. It truly was as though they were siblings, as though they always had been.

“If he hurts you, I’ll smite him,” he said breaking the silence.

She snorted, “Glorfindel, the boyfriend slayer. How glamorous.”

He chuckled, “A title I will proudly wear, if need be.”

She rolled her eyes, “Play nice.”

He rose his hands, “Oh, but of course.”

She looked at him, “Glorfindel.”

“What?”

She narrowed her eyes.

“I’m insulted at the very suggestion.”

She narrowed her eyes further.

“I merely intend to see if he is as devoted to you as you are to him. No harm in that.”

She stared him down as he wore his best innocent face, “Just don’t get the twins involved in whatever hair-brained scheme you’ve got brewing in that golden head of yours.”

He ruffled, “Hair-brained? I’m a legendary warrior and Captain of the guard.”

She snorted standing and straightening out the wrinkles in her tunic, “Yes, hair-brained.” She sent him a look, “I’m serious. Don’t do something insane and piss of the company of dwarves. I’d rather not have to deal with that aftermath, alright?”

“I would never-“

She cut him off, “Ugh. I can’t with your big puppy eyes right now. I would, however, kill for a long hot bath at the moment.” She kissed his cheek, “See you at dinner. Play nice with the other children, brother mine.”

He blinked as she walked off, head held high. His laughter bubbled out as he realized that she had figured him out.

Helen grinned as she heard it, shaking her head as she made her way to her rooms. She had a terrible feeling that Glorfindel had already set his information seeking mission into play… and likely the twins as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo is the cutest. He is also totally into Thorin- shocker, I know. Too damn cute, Helen had to give him a little nudge cause she is 100% on board with that ship.
> 
> Glorfindel initiates big brother mode and I just cannot with the feels. He is worried for her. He wants to find out if Fili is worthy of his new sister. He is worried what she may face if Fili's fate cannot be changed. I think the amount of pain she feels when considering that took him by surprise. He probably had an idea that she might feel a great amount about it, after all, she is known to feel deeply and have trouble controlling her emotions. The sheer amount of heartache and despair, however, was not something he was fully expecting or prepared for. Poor Glorfy. Poor Helen too!
> 
> As I'm sure you all noticed, I've decided to go with the "soulmate" troupe. But for damn good reason, I assure you. First off, Tolkien flat out says that dwarves won't even bother with marriage or love if it is not THE love. For Fili to pursue it in a serious nature at all, it had to be the real deal for him for it to fit canon. Secondly, Tolkien wrote in detail that elves have soulmates, just one for their whole lives. Since Helen is half-elven, this would be true for her as well.
> 
> That being said, I'm putting my spin on it. This will not be an instant thing. Helen is still half-mortal human from our world and with that comes the uncertainty we all face in these matters. As such, she still isn't sure fully what she feels for Fili. She knows she loves him for the person he is and loves him as someone dear to her as a friend, but being 'in love' and loving someone are two different things, and she knows that. She will take her time reaching that conclusion, or even getting there- idk, I'm letting things flow naturally as I write. 
> 
> I will say that Fili will likely realize his feelings for what they are first. This goes in with the canon concept of Dwarf courting not taking place except when in love, since they can't be bothered for anything less. It wasn't 'love at first sight', but attraction? For sure. She caught his attention right away and that is monumental to dwarves who are typical focused on anything else but that.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed it! More soon!


	23. Mistakes and Pledges

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midsummer's eve arrives for the company of Thorin Oakenshield and with it mistakes are made and pledges are spoken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this tid bit!

Their time in Rivendell was nearing its end. Helen knew that with the coming Midsummer’s Day festival, so too the White Council would meet and the Company of Thorin Oakenshield would make haste out of the safety of the hidden valley to trek over snowy peaks fraught with peril. It was with this knowledge that she sought to prepare for what was to come. Her time was largely spent with Glorfindel getting together supplies she knew she would need. Items, such as warmer and hardier clothing, that would provide comfort in the dark and fast-paced days to come.

Much of the clothing she had worn so far were items from her world. Her pants and shirts had not held up well to the test and were threadbare and, in many places, torn or ripped. Her boots had done exceptionally well. They were more waterproof than anything Middle Earth had to offer, so instead of replacing them, she worked with the crafters of the valley to create a way to make them warmer. The result made her laugh; the fur wrapping that was made to go around the leg-part of her boots made them look like the furriest version of Uggs that she had ever seen. This joke was entirely missed by her elven audience, who looked to each other concerned as she giggled and sang the line “Boots with the fur” from a famous song from her world. Then again, it could’ve been less her odd song and more her horrible dancing skills. Luckily, the elves of Imladris were used to her oddness at times…or perhaps simply too nice to say anything to her face. Along with her improved boots, her new winter clothing had been made. A pair of elven tunics and leggings with soft fur linings and a pair of each for warmer weather as well. Her light cloak was replaced with a heavier one, while her first was packed into her bags. She had already sorted what she could from her gear from her world and established what should stay and what should be sent ahead.

The knowledge of what was to come weighed heavily on her mind. She knew Goblin Town was ahead. She had brain-stormed with Glorfindel to figure out the best way to ensure that the company would have enough supplies after their tumble into Goblin Town. It was arranged that Glorfindel would meet them at the entrance of Mirkwood with their supplies. Beorn would supply them well, but Helen knew that they would end up needing more than what the company had expected.

After that, Mirkwood would present a whole other set of problems. She had tried to think of whether or not she should advise the company around the wood. However, if Thranduil could be informed that the company was there on errand or by leave of Elrond and Gandalf then perhaps they could pass through without being held in the dungeons. The way around would put them past Durin’s Day; through Thranduil’s court seemed truly the only option. The timeline would shift, but the quicker the company got to the Lonely Mountain, the quicker they got to the dragon.

Her talks with Glorfindel had uncovered something rather unexpected about dragons. When awaking from a long sleep, it took them time to fully become alert. Much like an animal awaking from hibernation, they would be groggy at first. If Helen could secure the Company passage through Mirkwood, then they would arrive much earlier and with any luck, Smaug would be not at his full strength. He would be sluggish.

Her hopes were that the destruction of Laketown could be avoided and the dragon dealt with faster, allowing more time for the Company to prepare for the Battle of the Five Armies to come. She also hoped that if Thorin wasn’t made to brood for so long in a cell, perhaps his dragon sickness would be lessened. After all, she could think of little more infuriating than being so close to your goal only to be locked up by your enemy for weeks as your window of opportunity narrowed. The only issue she could see was getting around Durin’s Day. The secret door would only open that day and no other.

It was Glorfindel that suggested that an earlier arrival may eliminate the need for the secret door, but Helen’s mind had been filled with images of the Company trapped in the Mountain with a pissed off dragon. She had quickly dismissed the idea. Still thoughts of the dwarfs’ confrontation with Smaug within the Mountain in the movies crossed her mind and she thought that just maybe Glorfindel could be on to something. It would be something she would have to speak to the Company about when the time came. Her ultimate goal was to change as little as possible while saving as many as possible. If nothing else and the Company had to wait for Durin’s Day, perhaps their early arrival to Laketown would allow for the place to be evacuated and its people saved.

Clearly, there was much left for her to figure out.

Her relationship with Fíli, she could happily say, was not one of them. Since their talk, they had been closer. Her nerves around him had eased away. Though both were still bashful, they felt more comfortable around one another with each passing day. Fíli was often at her side, though not when she was talking over plans with Glorfindel. Fíli was a calming presence at her side as she oversaw her travel clothes being made and provisions being prepared. He didn’t ask why she was arranging for so many canteens and travel rations, and she was thankful for it. She hadn’t figured out yet how to bring the topic up with the Company. His quiet support instead of prodding allowed her time to figure it out.

When he wasn’t offering support while she prepped, Fíli was offering her his arm as they strolled the paths of the Last Homely House. Each meal he came to collect her from her room or wherever she was. He would offer his arm with a dimpled smile. “If I didn’t come find you, I think you’d forget to eat,” he’d say with a chuckle rumbling through his chest.

She’d flush and harrumph putting on a show of being put out by the implication that she couldn’t fend for herself. Her struggle not to grin as she took his arm each time, giving it a small squeeze as she did, earned more rumbling chuckles. His dimpled cheeks and smiling mouth framed by braids would make her breath hitch. With a knowing, though shy, look, he’d pat her hand upon his arm and lead her to the dining hall.

The Company had grown used to seeing them together. If it wasn’t Helen and Fíli, it was Helen and Fíli and Kíli. Their teasing jest at the couple had lessened, if only just barely, but luckily, her ability to block out the remarks that were made helped keep her stammering and blushing to a minimum.

While the dwarfs had become less of an issue, certain elves had become more so. She first noticed it when leaving one of her first meetings with Glorfindel. It was the oddest feeling- a prickling at the back of her neck. It had lingered almost constantly until she was sitting at Glorfindel’s side at dinner. That night two late arrivals to dinner had nearly stumbled into the room; Elrohir and Elladan had entered rather ungracefully into the dining hall looking a bit rumpled. Her eyes narrowed on the pair in suspicion though she brushed it off as them likely sparring. Yet when Fíli offered his arm as he escorted her by to her room, the feeling was back. As the days passed, she noticed that same pattern. If she was near Glorfindel, the sensation left. Curiously, if she was near Elladan and Elrohir, it was gone just the same. However, if she was out of their sight, the feeling returned.

The next day would be Midsummer’s Day. The festival was tonight and the meeting of the White Council was tomorrow. Lady Galadriel was in the valley, and she had heard that she was currently speaking with Lord Elrond and Gandalf. All of her preparations were finished. On this day, her last peaceful one for a long while, she’d love nothing more than to be able to relax.

However, there was only so much relaxing to be had- even laying on the flower speckled grasses of Rivendell with Fíli at her side with his hand wrapped around hers- when she had caught a flash of twin heads of dark hair and one golden one peaking from various not-so-discreet locations around the small glade. The sound of her grinding her teeth in irritation earned a chuckle from Fíli. She turned her head to see he had a hand over his mouth as though trying to block his mirth. His dimples and shaking form gave it away.

Her mouth twitched. His smiles were contagious. “What are you laughing at?” she asked.

“You,” he said through his chuckling.

“Me?” she asked, “What did I do?”

He rolled to his side to face her, propping up on an arm, “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

“That’s a dangerous thing to say to a woman,” She huffed, “I’m not mad. I’m just laying here.”

His brow quirked, “Indeed? And your brows just happen to pinch and your jaw flinch as you practically seethe from joy and relaxation then?”

Her eyes narrowed, “You’re awfully observant.”

He chuckled again, bringing their intertwined hands up to place a kiss on the back of hers, “And you’re awfully cute.”

The shaking of a nearby bush had her eyes flashing across the glade. Her words were hissed from between clenched teeth, “I’m going to kick their asses.”

“Ah, so you noticed our shadows?” he said clearly amused.

Her eyes snapped to his face, “You mean you knew they were there?”

His mouth quirked, “I don’t know what you think about us dwarfs, but I assure you we are good at being aware of our surroundings. It’s a trait most useful to those used to being on the road or in the wild.”

She blinked, “But if you knew, why didn’t you say anything? Surely, you know they’ve been spying on us for days then.”

“Aye,” he shrugged, “I knew. And besides,” he grinned down at her, “ _you_ didn’t mention it either, sweetheart.”

She frowned, “I didn’t want it to upset or offend you. Glorfindel is taking his role as big brother a bit too seriously.” Both studiously ignored the indignant huff from a nearby tree and the following snorts of laughter from the bushes.

Fíli chuckled as her brow twitched, “But I know why they are doing so. I can’t say I blame them.”

“To slowly drive me insane?” she said sending a glare to the tree Glorfindel was hiding in.

“Because you are a treasure worth protecting,” he said kissing her hand once more.

Her eyes fell back to Fíli. She found the sight of his lips pressed to her hand to be hypnotizing. He seemed to sense the shift in her. His eyes met hers and both leaned a fraction closer.

Eyes locked to his lips, she murmured, “You want to give them something to watch?”

He leaned a fraction more, “What did you have in mind?”

She shrugged, “Oh, you know, something.” He hummed in response, and she unconsciously wetted her lips drawing his eyes there. Her heart pounded in her chest. For the near week since they had cleared the air, their affections had been limited to what was chaste and appropriate. Holding hands when in private, an offered arm in public, kisses to the back of her hand, each set thrills through her being. But she was from a much more open culture than Middle Earth’s. And she very much wanted to pull him forward by his golden mane and kiss the socks right off of him.

She was up on her elbows as Fíli leaned closer. Their noses brushed and his moustache braids tickled her cheeks.

A thud from nearby and the loud movement through brush snapped the pair from their hypnotized state.

Fíli nearly flung himself backwards. Face blazing and failing miserably to look as though he hadn’t been about to be extremely improper and kiss her lips.

Helen, on the other hand, was flopped facedown to the earth in a heap of frustration. “Glorfindel, twins,” she growled out as a greeting.

Fíli was embarrassed for he had blanked momentarily and forgotten their watchers. He cleared his throat giving each of the three a bow of his head, “Lord Glorfindel, Lord Elladan, Lord Elrohir.”

Glorfindel’s narrowed eyes had been fixed upon the dwarf since he leapt down from the tree. He stiffly returned the nod, “Master dwarf.”

Elladan gave a nod, “Master dwarf.”

Elrohir too returned the gesture, “Master dwarf.”

Helen groaned, “Are we done with the awkward mandatory niceties now?”

Elladan and Elrohir snickered, though both snapped their mouths shut when Glorfindel scowled at them.

Helen sighed rolling over to fix the three with a glare of her own, “You three are terrible at being covert, I hope you know. Orcs must be the densest of idiots to not know when any of you are stalking them. Or you think me an idiot unable to figure out that you three have been watching me and Fíli for days now.”

Elladan and Elrohir looked properly ashamed. Elladan huffed, “It was Glorfindel’s idea.”

Glorfindel sent him a nasty look.

“Oh trust me, I know,” she said looking to the elf in question with irritation. “What were you hoping to witness? Clearly not a good snogging since you so expertly blocked me from kissing him senseless just now.”

Fíli made a light choking sound, face glowing red.

Elladan and Elrohir both were a bit pink in the face.

Glorfindel only frowned as he glared at Fíli once more, “No, I was expecting the dwarf to have more honor that that.”

Fíli knew not whether to be offended or ashamed.

Helen, however, was on her feet poking at Glorfindel’s chest, “You listen and you listen good. I am a grown ass woman. I was a grown ass adult long before I came to this world. I am not about to be coddled and treated like a damn child in this one.”

Glorfindel looked abashed at her ire, “I am only looking out for you, sister. You are new to the ways of this world and-“

She hushed him, “I assure you the ways of males in this world is no different from mine in that regard.” She scoffed, “If we were all in my world, I would’ve already jumped his bones.”

Fíli once again made a choking sound.

Glorfindel’s mouth hung open incredulously, “Sister!”

She was not deterred, “No, you need to understand something. You all need to understand something. I may be new to how somethings work here, but you all forget that things work differently where I am from too. I honor your ways but you must also honor mine.” All present looked ashamed for they had not ever truly given that much thought.

“The point here is that what I decide to do or not to do with my body is my damned business,” she said, “You are like a brother to me and I appreciate you accepting me into your house. I understand the protection it offers me in your society, but I will not be dictated over like some kind of delicate thing incapable of thinking for herself. If I decide to kiss him until he forgets his name that is between myself and him. If I decide to hop into bed with him that is between me and him. If I decide to follow the ways of this world that are archaic in my own then that will be my choice and between myself and him. Are we clear?”

Glorfindel’s mouth snapped closed and he gave a light nod.

Her eyes turned to Elrohir and Elladan, “And you two?”

They nodded with wide eyes. Both feeling like they had received a proper scalding.

She glanced at Fíli who was staring at her with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. She winced at his bewildered expression.

He had not truly seen her ire before now. He had seen her upset, sure. And even panicked and aggravated as she ranted, but never truly mad. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t somewhat unsettling how intimidating such a slight creature could be.

Helen asked him, “Agreed?”

“Agreed,” he croaked out feeling proud of her for standing her ground.

She looked back to Glorfindel whose shoulders were slightly hunched. She placed a hand on his shoulder, “I understand why you wished to look out for me, but you must respect that even though we are now brother and sister, I am the only one you decides what I can and cannot do. I can take after myself. I’ve been doing it most of my life that won’t change now, even if the setting has. You are a brother to me, but you do not control me.”

Glorfindel gave a sigh, losing the last of his fight along with it. “I am sorry,” he said with a properly solemn nod, “I merely wished to prevent you from being taken advantage of, but I should’ve just discussed the matter with you and let you decide if a chaperone was warranted. I worry because you have not been trained in the ways of combat for very long, even if your skills have surpassed all expectation after only these past months.”

Helen gave a soft smile, “Again, I appreciate it, but truly, I could defend myself from an unwanted advance before picking up the sword those months ago.”

Glorfindel gave a light chuckle at this.

Elladan and Elrohir spoke up then. “We were actually wondering if you’d like to spar,” Elladan said. Elrohir added, “It would be good to brush up before you journey on.”

Helen made ready to answer but Fíli spoke, “Wait a moment,” he said as he stood, “You’ve only known how to handle a blade for a few months?”

Helen nodded, “Yeah, I asked Glorfindel and the twins to help me hone my archery and teach me to fight so I’d be ready on the journey.”

Fíli blinked feeling dread fill his chest. His stomach became knotted as he thought of what laid ahead for them, “You only just learned? So you haven’t fought in any true test yet?”

Something about his tone rubbed her the wrong way and she brought her hand on her hip. Her eyes narrowed a bit as she tried to place his tone, “Well, I think I did rather well with the Trolls.”

He shook his head pinching the bridge of his nose. He tried to take calming breaths but the fear of her coming to harm was making his ability to think fog over, “Helen, you were captured. Thorin did most of the sword fighting.”

She bristled, “Excuse me?”

“That was hardly a show of skill, Helen,” he said, “The road ahead means facing a dragon. If you were to be caught by it, it would be with teeth or flame not meaty hands and stink. You wont be able to bite your way out of that one.”

“Excuse me! You were captured too hot shot,” she exclaimed, “And don’t speak to me of what you will face in this journey. A dragon is the least of your worries, trust me!”

“Well,” Glorfindel said, “I don’t know if I’d say the least of his worries, but certainly not the first or last.”

“You,” she snapped at the blonde elf, “Shut up.”

Glorfindel snapped his mouth closed. The twins had backed up a bit.

Fíli was unaffected by her growing ire. The overwhelming need to protect her had filled him, “That only proves my point more,” he pleaded.

“And what point is that exactly?” she seethed.

“You should not leave the valley when we go,” he said.

Helen stared at him incredulously.

He took her silence as a sign that he was getting through to her and stepped forward to take her hands in his, “You may be hurt.”

Her eyes hardened, “And you will die.”

Fíli flinched.

“If I do not go, you, your brother, Thorin and many others will die,” her voice was steal, “After the talk I just had with these three, you’d think it would’ve been made clear to you as well. You will not dictate what I can and cannot do.” She pulled her hands from his and stepped back, “Whether you wish it or not, I am going. I will save you and your kin from dying. I will make sure you get your happy ending, so help me. Nothing more than an act from the Valar will stop me.”

With that she whirled away from him, barking out an order at Elladan and Elrohir who both had been trying to sneak away, “You two, come with me. I think a good spar is just what I need.”

The pair exchanged worried glances, both swallowing hard. Helen may not have been trained long, but she was good. Any lack in her reaction time due to her lack of experience would more than be made up for by the vast amounts of anger rolling off of her currently.

The two blondes were left to watch her retreating form. Both feeling crumby for their recent chewing out from the girl.

Fíli felt a weight settle in his stomach, “How badly did I just screw up?”

Glorfindel gave a small shrug, “About as much as I just did.”

Both stood a moment in their broody moods.

“Care for some spirits?” Glorfindel said after a time.

“What’s the strongest you’ve got?” Fíli replied.

* * *

 

The clang of metal on metal and war cries rang out around the Last Homely House. The sounds had drawn a bit of a crowd around the sparring ring. Most of the company stood and watched along with a good many elves.

Bilbo stood at the railing with eyes wide, beside the still panting Elrohir who sat upon the railing. “Good grief she is fierce,” the hobbit stammered out with a hint of fear. He figured she could fight since she carried weapons and since the trolls, but seeing her now was like watching a war goddess in a berserker state.

“Aye,” Elrohir panted, “She is quite good with her blade. I may suggest ensuring she is good and pissed before unleashing her upon any enemies you may face on your travels ahead.”

Bilbo blinked, “She is angry? Is everything alright? I thought her and master Fíli were getting on.”

Elrohir gave a humorless chuckle as his breath at last returned, “Aye, they seemed well on before he put his foot in it.”

A deeper voice broke in, “Fíli angered the girl?”

Bilbo gave a startled squeak as he glanced up to Thorin who stood very close to his side watching the fight with interest.

“He did, though he was not the only one. Glorfindel and my brother and I didn’t help her mood. Thus a good beating in the ring is our punishment,” Elrohir rolled his shoulder that had received a good hit by the pommel of her sword.

Thorin sighed, “What did he go and do?”

“He told her she was not skilled enough to defend herself on the road ahead and told her she was to stay behind when your company journeyed on. Mentioned something about not being able to bite her way out of future fights?,” Elrohir said.

Thorin’s brows rose. He glanced to the elf before watching Helen’s display. She very clearly had given the elf speaking a good run and looked to be doing the same to the elf’s brother now. “Clearly that is not the case,” Thorin stated flatly. His was beginning to think his nephew daft or merely blinded by his affections. Helen very obviously could do more than just defend herself. She’d likely make a decent swath out of enemy ranks in a full on battle right along with any dwarf.

“Clearly,” Bilbo echoed weakly before winching, “Did he truly mention her having to bite that troll? That was a sore spot to mention. She was sick for days at the mere mention of trolls after that.”

“Yes, well,” Elrohir sighed, as Elladan lost a blade as Helen sent it flying with a war cry, “He heard that she had only been training since the start of the year and jumped to his own conclusions.”

Thorin’s head snapped to the elf, “Surely you jest. The start of this year?”

Elrohir merely nodded.

Thorin turned an assessing eye to Helen. He took in her form. It was clear that her ferocity was being fueled by anger, but her form was very good. “Who trained her?”

“Glorfindel mostly, though my brother and I helped with her archery. She needed little in that regard however,” Elrohir admitted.

Thorin hummed. He was impressed. Helen had learned much in a short period of time. He was also impressed by her teacher’s abilities to train someone in such a short time. These thoughts he kept to himself, however. Instead when Elladan lost his final blade and stood panting with his arms up in surrender, Thorin sent a look to Dwalin. It was plain that she still had a good amount of anger to work out.

The tattooed warrior gave a nod, climbing the railing. Elladan sent him a grateful look as he scrambled out of the ring. Collapsing exhausted beside his brother, “Remind me never to listen to one of Glorfindel’s idiotic ideas again.”

Helen turned to her new opponent, eyes still blazing.

Dwalin readied his weapons and gave a bow of his head.

Helen returned the gesture and then Dwalin made his move.

* * *

 

Dwalin had kept her on the defensive for a good majority of the time. She had held her own well, managing to have him on the offense for nearly half. Her speed had played a large role in that, as well as her anger, but Dwalin was a huge opponent. He was letting her keep the offensive for a large part of that, so she could work through her ire. After two hours and nearly all but the company had left, Helen stood on shaking legs as her anger was spent and her adrenaline fully drained.

Her sword was still in her hand but her dagger had been long gone by now. Dwalin took in her form before lowering his axes, “Yer a right good warrior lass.”

“Thanks,” she panted before scowling, “If you could share that opinion with a certain golden heir, I’d be jazzed.”

Dwalin barked out a laugh, “Don’t mind the laddie. Yer got him besotted. The stones between his legs will be doing more thinking than that brain of his.”

Helen snorted out a laugh. Finally sheathing her sword and standing to stretch out her tense muscles, “Well, just the same.”

Dwalin chuckled patting her shoulder before stepping back as Thorin neared.

“I was told that you have only trained a few months’ time,” he said gruffly.

Helen bristled, her jaw ticking in irritation, “I have.”

Thorin eyed her a moment, “You did well.” With that he gave a dip of his head and turned away.

Helen blinked after him as he left the ring and wondered off to who knew where. “Did he just complement me in fighting?”

Dwalin guffawed at her bewildered look, “Aye lass. You did do well.” He gave her a hearty pat before walking off the way Thorin had. The company followed after giving her approving nods. Bilbo too gave a wave before scurrying off after them.

Kíli was all that remained besides the twins. He stood looking down as he kicked at the dirt. “I hear my brother really put his foot in it,” he said.

She snorted.

Kíli winced, “I know he can be a bit too noble and stubborn at times. But you have to know that what Dwalin said is true. Fíli really is besotted with you and he might act stupid sometimes because of it.”

Helen sighed, “I know. But it doesn’t excuse his behavior.”

Kíli nodded at that, “You’re right, it doesn’t.” He place his hand on her shoulder, “For what it is worth, I think you’ve more than proven that you are good enough with a blade. Fíli will hear of it, make no doubt. And I hope you will still come with us. And not because of what you know, but because you are one of us now.”

She gave him a smile, clasping his shoulder as well, “Thank you Kíli.” She tugged him forward and bumped his forehead with hers, “I told your bother as much, but nothing less than the Valar could make me stay behind.”

Kíli grinned, pleased, “I’m glad.”

They parted and Helen groaned as she bent to pick up her dagger, “Shit, I should not have gone so hard after not practicing all these weeks on the road.”

Kíli and the twins chuckled, “I’d be happy to spar with you on the road.”

Helen smiled, though she kept to herself that there would be little need to practice when the road ahead was filled with so much fighting. She merely smiled and nodded her thanks, “Alright boys,” she called to the twins, “Kíli,” she added, “I’m off to soak in a hot bath and pray that I can move later.”

Kíli chuckled and stated he was off to find his brother. The twins called out a reminder for some good herbs to soak in. With that Helen drug her way to her rooms, anger spent and body weary.

* * *

 

At dinner that night, Helen had left her rooms earlier than she usually did. She was giving Fíli the slip in case he showed to escort her as usual. She knew he had good intentions and her anger was now drained, but she did not plan to let him off the hook without a proper apology and without making him understand that she wouldn’t put up with being dictated in a relationship.

When she entered with Glorfindel at diner, she kept her eyes forward. She managed to stop herself from glancing down the table the entire time, though she could see his golden hair from her peripheral and she could feel his gaze off and on. None of the company tried to aid Fíli’s attempts to catch her eye. Instead, she actively engaged in conversation with Lord Elrond, Gandalf, and to her surprise, Galadriel.

Helen thanked her for her letter and the time she put into answering it.

The noble lady had merely smiled softly at her and assured her that it was no trouble. There was a glimmer to her eyes as she spoke and Helen had to pretend not to notice the way her eyes had found Fíli further down the table. Galadriel clearly knew it was he Helen had been inquiring about and it took everything in her not to be absolutely embarrassed by the fact that Galadriel basically knew that Helen was thinking about that dwarf when she asked about sex and mating between races.

Galadriel’s mouth quirked upwards and Helen did blush then. She had forgotten that Galadriel could see into your mind.

“Worry not, young one,” she said with a smooth voice like silk, “I’ve seen much.”

Her words could be taken many ways, but the smile and glimmer of her eyes gave Helen the impression that Galadriel meant roughly, ‘I’ve seen some shit,’ in reference to people’s thoughts.

A tilt of her head just then gave an assent and Helen couldn’t stop her laugh. She quickly silenced as Thorin gave her an odd look, though Gandalf and the elves seemed to understand that she was having a conversation with the Lady. Helen just smiled, “Sorry, I thought of something funny.”

Thorin shrugged it off and went back to his discussion with the Lord of the house.

* * *

 

After dinner, Helen went to her room quickly. The company had joined in the elves with their celebrating. There was singing and laughter floating up through her balcony. She was glad the company was enjoying themselves and glad their time in Rivendell had been closer to the books than the movies. She knew that Thorin and Elrond were likely discussing the map and its moon rune message tonight. The mon was fully crescent and she knew it would hasten their leave in the early morning. She had considered seeking out the Lady Galadriel, but she was not ready to ask her what she wished to know about her world. She wasn’t ready to hear what could be of Charlotte, and she knew that if it was needed, the Lady would summon her.

Instead, Helen made sure her gear was ready. Tonight was the night. The company would be out of the valley by daybreak. She knew she needed her rest. It was with that knowledge that Helen went to sleep.

* * *

 

Helen was running. She couldn't tell where she was; it was too dark. Her booted feet pounded upon the stone floor. The echo bouncing off the stone walls around her mixed with her labored breaths rang loudly in her ears.

She turned a sharp right, her shoulder slamming into the hard wall making her stumble. Still she ran. Something was urging her forward. She didn’t know why but she had to go. She had to get there and fast.

She pushed her leg muscles further, ignoring the burn of her legs and lungs. Finally, she saw the light. The din of many yelling voices became deafening as she sprinted down the dark hall to the outside.

It was a battle. Men’s screams of agony filled the air. Clanging of metal on metal and the wet shlick sounds of metal meeting flesh. Her heart pounded faster as she ducked and dodged and leapt over fallen bodies. She had to reach the distant hill.

Finally she made her way, her breath ragged as she surged up the rocky slopes to the broken towers above. A flash caught her eye from atop. Three figures stood circling a singular foe.

A dark haired warrior in golden armor fell. She was screaming. Pleading for them to watch out. She crested the hill. Then a dark blonde was struck with many arrows. His fairer brother yelled his name, moving to his side as a splash of red was coughed up from his lips.

She heard the cutting of the air. She saw the arrows fly. A single large bolt surging past the others. A scream ripped from her throat. She wouldn’t make it. She was too far away.

“Fíli!”

His blue eyes flashed to hers and the bolt hit its mark. It pierce the golden brothers, pinning them together. She watched them crumple. Golden thread splayed over freshly fallen snow and a growing pool of red.

“No!”

She was grabbed from behind, stopping her from closing the distance. She kicked and fought. Kíli needed her. Fíli needed her. Thorin needed her. The arms around her tightened as a broken cry left her lips, “No! No! Thorin! Get up! Please! Fíli! Kíli! Stand up! Fíli please!”

“Helen!” more arms joined those around her middle, giving her shoulders a shake, “Helen stop!”

“No! Fíli! Please! He needs me! Please!” she cried struggling against the hold.

“Helen! You must stop! Thorin and Kíli are okay. Fíli is right here,” the arms said.

She shut her eyes shaking her head, “Their dead. Dead. I failed. He is gone. I failed,” she sobbed.

The arms around her waist left. She felt them on her face. “Helen, love, wake up.”

Her breath sputtered. She knew that voice.

“Come on, sweetheart. Open your eyes. I’m okay. I’m here.”

“Fíli?”

The hands brushed her cheeks, “That’s right. I’m right here. You’re having a nightmare, love. Wake up.”

She blinked her eyes open, wincing at the light. Her eyes were blurry and out of focus. A dark shape framed in gold hovered over her.

It leaned closer, “Sh, it’s alright. I’ve got you.”

“Fíli?” she blinked, her eyes focusing. She was in her room in Rivendell. The lanterns and candles blazing brightly. She looked around and saw Glorfindel and a healer standing nearby her bed. She looked back to the figure above her. Fíli sat at her side, cradling her face in his hands. He looked worried as he brushed her still falling tears away with his thumbs. She made a choking sob as she sat up, throwing her arms around him. She burrowed her face into his neck. His warm skin and soft beard against her cheeks.

He held her close as her sobs shook her, “It’s okay, love. Everyone is okay. We are still in Rivendell. Thorin and Kíli are down at the festival. I’m right here. All is well. It was just a bad dream.”

She shook her head, “No, no. You were all there. The battle at Erebor. I was stuck in the mountain but I got out. I ran. I ran so fast but I wasn’t fast enough. I tried to save you.” She sobbed, “I am so sorry. I failed you all. I couldn’t stop it.” She clutched at him.

Fíli met Glorfindel’s gaze over her head in question. The elf looked pale as he watched his sister. Her screams had the healers beating down her door and fetching Glorfindel. They had found him in Fíli’s company both drinking away their earlier failures with Helen. At the healers words that something was wrong with Helen, the pair had raced through the halls and knocked the door off its hinges to get to the girl inside.

The sight of her tangled in her sheets as she thrashed around screaming in agony clenched Fíli’s heart. Glorfindel had tried to hold her lest she hurt herself, but she had only screamed out the names of Thorin, Kíli, and Fíli with such agony. Her pleading sobs made it clear to all in the room that she was trapped in a terrible dream. Glorfindel had sent a healer away to get Lord Elrond. The other healer looked scared to approach the violently thrashing woman.

Fíli had stepped forward at her calling for him. He had held her face and called to her. When her eyes finally opened, he was flooded with relief, but his relief quickly crumbled as she launched herself into his arms before breaking down.

He watched Glorfindel send off the last healer, who seemed unsure whether she should go or not. She promised to bring a calming tea as she left. Fíli’s eyes narrowed as he watched the many emotions warring on the elf’s face.

“You know something,” he said finally after Helen had worn herself out and fallen asleep in his arms. He had moved to sit propped up on her bed with her cradled to his side and half on his chest. Her hands were wrapped in his hair and clutching his shirt as though she was afraid he would vanish.

Glorfindel’s eyes flicked up to meet Fíli’s at his statement. He glanced to Helen once more before nodding.

Fíli’s brows furrowed as he looked down to the woman he loved. He knew her. She wouldn’t have told another about something that would jeopardize the journey. “Her dream,” he spoke, “It was more than that, wasn’t it?”

Glorfindel’s pained face gave it away.

Fíli watched him a moment, “You know what she saw don’t you?”

Glorfindel nodded.

“But how?” he asked confused. He knew Helen didn’t say. She had cried herself back to sleep upon awaking and hadn’t let go of her death grip on him since.

Glorfindel sighed, “I did not wish to say. It was hers to tell, however, given the circumstances,” he trailed off.

Fíli’s worry spiked once more, “What is it? What wasn’t yours to tell?”

“Helen and I share a mind link,” he said, “It is something that is found in my people, though the range of the skill and the ease of use varies.”

Fíli’s breath left him in a whoosh, “Elf magic,” he murmered the phrase he often heard muttered as curses from his kin.

Glorfindel’s laugh was hallow, “In a way, I suppose. It is just the way it is with my kind, though not all have the skill and those who do can use it with a great varying degree. Some have been able to look into any mind at will and from great distances,” at Fíli’s alarmed look, Glorfindel added, “though that has only been heard of once or twice in all time. It is more often that the skill is only available to very close bonds, such as the twins, Elrohir and Elladan, or between soulmates.”

Fíli felt his heart drop. He looked down to Helen, “Does she know this?”

“She does,” he said though he quickly added, “Fear not, ours is not such a connection.” Glorfindel explain then how the first mind link happened and how he had seen all. He explained that it had happened a few times since if they touched, but that only direct contact would allow it. It also seemed to not be something Helen could control, as it only had occurred when her emotions were high. “It happened now when I tried to restrain her from injury,” he said, “I saw into her dream. It was a vision I had seen from her before. It is how you die. The event she wishes more than anything to prevent. This time was a bit different than before. Something tried to keep her from the battle and it was that delay that prevented her from stopping your deaths.”

Fíli’s mind was swimming with all he had heard. It unsettled him that the elf knew of their quest, but he felt comforted that Helen had not been made to carry such a burden alone. It pained him that she was hurting. He brushed a hand through her hair, “I wish I could take it all away for her. The dreams, the fear, the knowledge even- if only she wouldn’t suffer from it so.”

Glorfindel watched the way the dwarf cared for his sister. His gaze held a deep affection. “You love her,” he stated.

Fíli looked over her sleeping face, now blissful in her rest, “Mahal help me. I think I do.”

Glorfindel nodded, “You’ll look out for her, keep her from letting the weight of her task from becoming too much? She carries so much.”

“Aye, she does,” he agreed. He looked to the elf, chin raised and tone serious, “By the name of the maker, Mahal, and all the line of my kin, past and future, I will to Helen be true and faithful. What she loves, I will love. That which she loathes, I will loathe. Her troubles I will take upon my shoulders. Her fears will met my blades to fall slain at my feet or to be taken unto me, so she may be spared. According to the laws of my people and the orders of the Durin line, I pledge that I will never with will nor action, through word nor deed, do anything which is unpleasing to her or which may cause her suffering. On condition that my honor and that of my blood will be held to heel as shall be deserved, and that upon my blood and that of my kin will be subject to punishment and dishonor as seen fit by Helen and her house. So I submit to her and her will. And so I pledge myself to she.”

Glorfindel studied the dwarf who had just given the highest pledge of loyalty of his people to Helen, though she was unaware. The dwarf held his head high as though daring the elf to dismiss such a pledge. It was one usually given by knights to their king, but the heir of Erebor had given it to the halfelven woman in his arms. In doing so, he essentially stated that a failure to lookout for Helen would be a forfeit of his life if her family should so chose and a dishonor on his line for ever more.

“You would pledge your life to her? The pledge of fealty meant for a queen?” Glorfindel asked.

“Yes, I would,” he answered, “She is a queen of my heart. She is my one.”

Glorfindel raised his brows, “One? Your soulmate? So you knew from the start?”

Fíli smiled a bit as he brushed the back of his fingers down her cheek, “It doesn’t always work that way. I knew from the moment I met her that she was beautiful. The more I was around her the more I wished to know more about her. The more I learned the more I found that I was drawn to her. I liked her company, her smile, her kind, and caring ways.” He looked up at Glorfindel a bit sheepish, realizing he was going off on a bit of a rant. He explained more directly, “For a dwarf, finding your One is not just seeing them and that’s it. You will find yourself drawn to your One. Pulled in by something you cannot name. But it is not love at first sight, not always at least. It may happen on very rare occasions, but love is something you must discover. It’s the gem worth mining for.”

Glorfindel chuckled softly, “Dwarves, always with the treasure analogies.”

Fíli chuckled, watching her face as she slept, “Yes, but she is the greatest of treasures. Isn’t she?” He smiled to himself, “I came to love her as a person first and then a friend and now it’s growing, changing, blossoming into something more.”

Glorfindel studied Fíli watch over Helen with tender care. He smiled then, “I am glad that you are the one who holds her heart. Protect it. She has a large one and I fear her capacity for love may one day cause her pain.”

“I’ll protect her heart with my life,” Fíli pledged once more.

Glorfindel nodded grimly, “Yes, but in doing so you must protect your life as well. Her heart is tied to yours, it seems.” With that he stood, placing a hand on Fíli’s shoulder. Glorfindel regarded the dwarf. “Very well,” he said giving a bow of his head, “I will hold you to your word.”

Fíli’s mouth curled upwards, “I’d expect no less from an elf.”

Glorfindel scoffed softly, eyeing Helen’s sleeping form once more, “I leave her in your care, dwarf.” At Fíli’s light chuckle, Glorfindel added, “You both need your rest. It will be an early journey tomorrow.”

Fíli watched the elf leave, pulling closed the heavy drapes that had been hung to replace the door. He looked down to the woman in his arms, brushing the hair from her face. He kissed her forehead and settled into the pillows at his back to get some sleep. He’d rather not bet against the elf’s prediction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty bits, I know.  
> But not needlessly so. Glorfindel and Helen's relationship needed some flushing out. Glorfindel was made to understand that their brother/sister relationship would not be one were he acts like her keeper. She is a modern woman after all, and that needed to be reiterated. I placed it in front of Fili because it is a message that applies to him as well.  
> Fili still makes an opps when he learns how green she is with fighting. His need to protect her overpowered his common sense and what she had just finished saying. Thus we got them to their first real tiff. (I don't count their misunderstanding from before as a fight.)  
> Helen sets the men in her life straight and blows off some steam earning some respect from the company in doing so.  
>   
> Helen's nightmare was a hell of a bad dream, huh? She dreamt of the fall of the Durin's during the Battle of the Five Armies. In her dream, She was left behind in the mountain and had to try to find her way to Ravenhill in time. She obviously didn't make it. Poor girl.  
>   
> On the upside, Fili and Glorfindel had a moment. Yay! First they drink together after screwing things up with Helen and then they bond over their shared love and caring for her. Glorfindel has officially accepted Fili as her suitor, not that it would matter either way, but he has. Fili gives the royal pledge of loyalty and fealty that a warrior gives to a king/queen pledging his life to serving Helen's needs and wellbeing. Its a huge deal even to outsiders, but his family would likely be positively blown away if they knew. Whether good or bad, who knows but it'd be a huge shock to be sure.  
>   
> Fili claims her as his one! So cute. I swear, these two.  
> Next chapter coming very soon. You can expect some fluff. Of course, the starting of the next part of their journey as well. If any of you have anything you'd like to see more of, let me know. This is all happening organically, but if there is something you all would like I can work it in.  
> :3
> 
> Chapter banner pic here: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=230685518


	24. Sealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning brings a new chapter for the company as they leave the valley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really REALLY hope this chapter turned out alright. I rewrote it about 5x. I think it is time. It felt right. I just hope y'all agree. *bites nails*
> 
> Also- I hid a reference to one of my all time favorite shows. Let's see if y'all catch it. :)

It was warm. Very warm, she thought as she kicked at her covers to get her legs free. Helen managed to free a leg at last, tossing it over the pillow she always slept with at her side. The cool air made her sigh in relief.

Her nose scrunched after a moment. The pillow was warm. Too warm.

She cracked her eyes open, immediately glad it was still dark. She hated waking up too early only to find the sun up. It meant that she may as well stay awake; little ruined her mornings more than that. Luckily for her, it was good and dark and that meant more sleep- if she could cool off. She wiggled her leg further over the warm pillow trying to free more skin to the cool air. The movement caused some of the warmth draped around her lower back to tighten drawing her flush with the warm pillow. Her eyes snapped fully open as she tensed. The pillow she was current draped over wasn’t a pillow at all.

“Helen,” her name was spoken by a voice made deeper by sleep.

She looked up and met Fíli’s sleepy gaze. Her face instantly flushed and she made to pull away, “I’m so sorry.”

His arm around her stopped her, keeping her at his side, “S’okay,” he said groggily, “Stay. Jus’ stop wiggling s’much.”

Her face flamed more, if possible, but she nodded her head knowing he’d feel it on his chest and not trusting her voice at the moment. She was trying to calm her racing heartbeat, a task made more difficult when he was nuzzling his nose into her hair like that. She almost thought he had fallen back to sleep when he spoke.

“How are you doing?” his voice sounded more alert.

It took her a moment to realize what he meant. Her nightmare from before came back to her, as did Glorfindel and Fíli’s worried faces. She picked at some threads of his shirt as she answered, “I’m okay now.” She felt embarrassed by how much of a mess she had been. “I’m sorry about before. I didn’t mean to freak anyone out.”

He tilted her chin up to make her look at him, “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

Her face pinched as she sent a glance to the heavy curtains acting as a door, “Tell that to the door.”

He chuckled. His heart fluttered as she settled her head back on his chest. He spoke after a moment, “I spoke with Glorfindel.”

Her brows furrowed, “About what?”

“About your dream. He saw it,” he said, “When he touched you to try to calm you, he saw it.”

Her eyes widened, “He saw-“ Her mouth closed and then opened as his words clicked, “You know? That he knows?” He nodded. “Fíli, I swear I didn’t mean for anyone to know of your quest. I didn’t know that mind links were a thing. I’ve spoken with him and he swore to tell no one.”

He brought a finger to her lips stopping her panic, “Helen, it’s okay. We discussed everything. I know you couldn’t help it. I trust you, love. And I think I may just trust the elf too.” He grinned a bit, “Just don’t tell him that, yeah?”

She let out a soft laugh at that, snuggling back into his chest. Her eyes fluttered as he pressed a kiss to her head.

He spoke again, “I owe you an apology.”

She picked at the thread of his shirt. She had a feeling she knew what he meant but waited to hear what he’d say.

“I never should’ve told you to stay,” he said, “It was not my place to demand it and I was wrong to suggest you couldn’t handle yourself.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek, “Did you speak to the others then?”

“Others?” he asked.

“Kíli, Thorin, the company,” she said still a bit sore about his words from earlier that day, “They told you of the sparring ring and it changed your mind, right?”

He pushed her back to look into her face, “The Company? Helen, what are you talking about? I am trying to say that I was wrong before when I spoke thusly. What does the sparring ring have to do with it?”

She could see his honesty and confusion. He truly had no idea what she was talking about. She felt guilty for thinking that it took the others for him to see things her way. She should’ve given him more credit. “I thought you may have heard about me fighting the twins and Dwalin earlier and it was that that changed your mind. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

His brows rose, a grin slowly growing, “You fought Dwalin? When? Why?” He looked impressed, surprised, and a bit concerned.

She grinned a bit, “Sparred, really. Thorin sent him in to tire me out. I was a bit… angry.”

His expression fell at her words, “Helen, I truly am sorry for my words. You are right. You are your own person and I should respect your wishes. I know nothing could keep me from trying to save you; I can hardly expect you to stay behind knowing what you know.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, glancing at him with a soft gaze that had his stomach flipping, “And I’m sorry for assuming you were merely saying so because of what the others may have told you.”

He grinned, “Apology gladly accepted. Though I will be asking about your stint in the ring. Sounds like I missed some fun.” He chuckled, “Dwalin, truly?”

She grinned, “He is a beast.”

“Aye,” he cracked a smile, “That he is. I will never doubt you again, sweetheart. Such a small thing holding her own against Dwalin. Mahal’s sake.” He chuckled again.

She tugged lightly on a moustache braid, “Who are you calling small? I’m taller than you, shorty.”

He guffawed. His laughter shaking her where she laid upon his chest. She giggled along with him, propping her chin up upon her hands on his chest to watch him laugh. He was beautiful. Almost painfully so.

He caught her gaze and his mirth settled. Something else took over his expression, making her bite her lip. He brought a hand to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing along her bottom lip caught by her teeth. His voice was deeper as he spoke, “Before, in the glade, you said something.”

She swallowed before wetting her lips, accidentally swiping his thumb as she did, his hand at her waist tightening. “I said a lot,” her voice sounded breathless making her blush in embarrassment.

His hand moved back, his fingers combing into her hair. “I want to ask,” he said leaning closer.

She craned her neck a bit, “Yes?”

His breath ghosted her lips, and her hand on his chest moved up to wrap around his neck. Her fingers played with the hair behind his head as he asked, “May I kiss you?”

Her breath left her shakily, “Please.”

His nose brushed hers as he closed the gap. His lips were warm and softer than she expected. His facial hair was something she wasn’t used to, but she was surprised how soft it was as his lips brushed hers in the lightest of kisses. Like butterfly wings, he kissed her. Pulling back to meet her gaze, his lids were heavy.

It was chaste. Sweet just like him. A perfect first kiss.

She tugged him back, angling her head to press her lips to his. He tensed at first before relaxing and kissing her back just as much. She parted her lips, caressing his lips with hers. His breath stuttered in his chest before escaping in a light groan. His sounds urged her on and she pulled his bottom lip into her mouth brushing it lightly with her tongue.

He broke the kiss panting heavily. Resting his forehead to hers, “Mahal. Helen.”

She saw his flushed face and tightly closed eyes. A thought came to her and she felt a bit shameful, “Was that- Have you ever-“

He opened her eyes, looking a bit shy, “I’ve never kissed before, no.”

Her eyes widened, “But you’re so- I mean just look at you!” She exclaimed pulling back surprised, “Are the females in this world blind?”

He chuckled a bit, still looking bashful, “Well, thank you, love. But, uh,” he cleared his throat, “I was set on my craft, my training, and being shaped up to be Thorin’s heir. Sadly, there was never much energy or time left to think of relationships. Let alone try and pursue one.”

She was once again reminded how much he carried upon his shoulders.

He looked away, nervous at the sad look she had sudden gotten, “It doesn’t bother you, does it? I know enough to know that Men are different and more open about these things. I know you’ve mentioned much the same about your world.”

“Fíli,” she spoke, tugging his face back to hers, “I don’t care how many girls or guys or whomever you’ve kissed or haven’t kissed before you met me. All that matters is who you kiss now that we are together.”

His breath caught, “Together?” He flushed, “I mean, of course, I want that but we haven’t said as much and I didn’t want to presume… I haven’t asked to court you, but I would if you wish. I wish it. But if you don’t-”

She smiled, “Fíli, I’m a one love interest kind of lady.” She grinned wider at his deepening blush, “I’d like nothing more than to officially be together with you.”

His brows set into a serious look as he held her face between his large hands, “Helen, will you accept my courtship?”

“Yes,” she nodded, “Gladly.”

His face slit into a brilliant smile, his dimples in full display. A warm laugh bubbled past his lips and lit up his face. As he leant to press a light kiss to her mouth, he pulled back, running his fingers through her hair, “May I place a courting bead into your hair?”

She grinned, giggling a bit, “I wasn’t sure that was truly a thing.” At his confused grin, she merely nodded, not will to explain fanfiction and fan theories to him just yet, “Yes, you may.”

His fingers were quick and gentle as he picked a small section at the side of her head to place the small braid. He was smiling softly as he worked, “Your hair is so fine. Like silk. Dwarven hair is thicker.”

“Your beard is rather soft,” she said watching his expression of concentration as he worked, “Softer than I expected any way.” She rubbed her hand on his cheek feeling his thick, yet soft beard.

He gave her a grin as he took a bead from one of his long braids, placing it securely at the end of her new braid, “All done.”

She twirled it between her fingers, turning it over. The design was vaguely familiar. She thought she had seen it in some renderings of the Fíli character designs from the movies. “Is this your personal design?” she asked studying the geometric-like knot work.

“Aye,” he watched her with a gentle look, “For courtships, the one who asks gives a bead of his or her own design to the other placing it upon a courting braid. Household beads are exchanged only at weddings, signifying that the one wearing it is now a member of that house.”

She examined it closer, marveling at the detail, “So you designed this?”

His smile stiffened, “Ah, no.”

She looked up in confusion. He looked sad, though he was trying to hide it.

“My Father made it,” he said.

“Oh Fíli, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I thought when you said your own design, you meant made by you,” she explained feeling horrible for bringing up his father.

He kissed her nose, “It’s alright. You don’t have to be afraid to ask me questions. He died a long time ago. It still hurts, but it’s a dull ache, not a stabbing wound any longer.”

She looked back to the bead, “It’s lovely.”

He smiled looking at it with her, “Aye, he designed it for me. It acts as my seal and symbol. He did the same for Kíli. It is something dwarf fathers do for their children. We are lucky to have them. The seals are used in all legal documents and precedings.”

“Seals?” she asked curiously, studying the bead. It was clear to her now that in was a relief design, meaning that if rolled across wax, it would leave an image just like a stamp seal for letter writing would. Her voice held a bit of awe, “You mean like in wax. Like an official wax seal upon a letter or document?”

“Yes, exactly,” he answered, “It’s more official and fool proof than a signature and much harder to forge.”

“Like the lost city of Ur,” she murmured. It was something she had studied a great deal in her schooling. In the ancient city of Ur, people used cylinder seals to sign for documents and on official documents. It was like signing your name, but more secure since making a duplicate seal would be more difficult.

He watched her with a smile as she studied the bead clearly enthralled. “I am assuming that is a place from your world?” he said with an amused grin.

“Yes, it is. This is beautifully made. So small and yet detailed. Fascinating,” she gushed. “Fíli,” she glanced at him, “are you sure it’s alright that I wear it? It is from your father.”

His expression was soft as he ran the braid and bead between his fingers, “He made it for us to give to the lady of our choosing. It is a courting bead, a pairing to my own bead here.” He lifted a braid of his hair and showed her the twin bead. He let the braids fall, “I want you and only you to have it.”

She smiled up at him, “Thank you, Fíli.”

He chuckled softly, “No, thank you for wanting to court me.”

She grinned looking away as her cheeks grew warm. “And the braid,” she asked as she looked it over, “We call this a fishtail braid where I am from. It is just for courtship?”

He nodded, “Marriage also, though often that includes many different braids and not just one. It depends of the household. Some are flashier in such matters.”

She chuckled, “I can imagine.” She played with the braid, “I like it.”

He grinned a dimpled smile, “I’m glad.”

Their eyes met once again. They were just leaning in to share another kiss when the curtain was pulled open. The pair jumped turning to see Kíli’s wide grin at the door.

Fíli sighed, “Brother.”

Kíli’s grin only grew, “Morning brother.” He looked down right mischievous as he winked, “Helen,” he greeted.

“Morning?” Helen glanced to the window in alarm only to see it still dark. Her brows furrowed in confusion.

Kíli explained, “Thorin says we must leave now. Something about slipping away and such.”

Helen jumped up, “Crap! I forgot that was tonight, er this morning, I mean. Blast it!” She scurried around the room collecting her clothes.

Fíli sighed as she left his side. He stood from the bed, “Very well. I’ll go collect my things.”

Kíli said, “We are to meet in the courtyard we first entered upon arriving.”

Helen nodded, “Yes, I know where that is. I’ll see you both there. I must go find Bilbo before I join you. There is something he needs to do.”

The brothers nodded. Fíli pressed a kiss to her hand, earning a grin from her before she tugged him forward to plant a kiss to his lips. She giggled as he flushed before giving his snickering brother a punch to the arm.

She hurried to dress after they left. Grabbing her bags she had prepared, she went out to Bilbo’s room. She had to be sure he was still going to deliver the company with some spoils from the kitchens of Rivendell. It was one of the first times Thorin gave him credit as a burglar. She was going to make sure he got more than enough to impress them all.

* * *

 

Dressed in her new traveling clothes and finally feeling like she looked the part of a being from this world, Helen walked down the steps leading to the company of dwarves awaiting to make leave. She had put her hair back in its usual singular braid down her back, but had taken care to weave Fíli’s braid just so and let the bead be seen. She felt sad to leave Aurora and Lou behind in the valley, but the mountains and Goblin Town was no place for a horse or dog. She felt poorly enough knowing the fate of the ponies acting as pack animals for the dwarves. They’d meet a poor fate in Goblin Town.

Her damped thoughts lifted when her eyes found Fíli’s. He nodded his head in greeting as he stood speaking with Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin, that is, until he spotting her courting braid and his bead. His face split into a dimpled smile and he brushed past the others as he made his way to her.

Thorin looked irritated by Fíli’s abrupt departure from the discussion until he caught sight of what had made his nephew act so.

“So, the lad did it, eh?” Dwalin gruff voice and crossed his arms a polar opposite to the slight grin he wore as he watched the pair. They were talking and exchanging soft looks.

Balin felt a swell of pride when Fíli’s hand rose to brush along the braid, “A courtship. A lovely thing on such a dark business as this.”

“Retaking our homeland is hardly dark business,” Thorin said, “It is well they no longer fight. We cannot have our seer angry with the ones she is meant to keep safe.” He gave the pair a brief glance more and then ordered for the company to gather round.

Balin sighed, watching as everyone gathered at Thorin’s call. He wished he could ease the heavy sadness that dwelled upon his king’s mind. A courtship was a rarer and rarer thing these days among the scatter peoples of Durin’s folk, and something that should bring joy and celebration. Balin made it a point to make sure a proper party was thrown at the journeys’ end for the pair.

* * *

 

Helen moved to stand between Fíli and Kíli as Thorin began.

“The road ahead is rough. We are leaving in good weather. We must make haste out of the valley. Gandalf assured me that our host would be busy this morn with a council, but I will not leave our quest to chance. Gather your things, check your provisions, we leave shortly,” Thorin spoke earning nods from the dwarfs.

Helen, however, looked around, “Where is Bilbo?”

Thorin turned and frowned as his eyes swept over the group. Not finding the hobbit, his frown deepened, “If he is smart, he is still in bed. This road is not for his kind.”

Helen frowned, “We cannot leave without him. He is on his way. I spoke with him earlier.”

Thorin turned to her fully, “I will not risk our departure’s discovery should he be late. We leave shortly. Hobbit or no.” With that he turned, walking to his pony.

Thorin’s gruff attitude towards Bilbo surprised Helen. She had thought that Thorin was warming up to him. Instead, his brushing off of Bilbo’s worth to the group had her hackles raising. Helen started to say something, but Fíli’s hand on her arm stopped her, “Don’t worry. Uncle will not leave without Master Baggins. Best not anger him though.”

She frowned but backed down, “This quest will fail without him. I wish Thorin would take to Bilbo more.”

Kíli patted her arm, “Don’t worry. Uncle is that way with most everyone. He’ll warm up eventually.”

Her mouth quirked upwards, “Oh I know. I just wished it’d be sooner.”

Kíli eyed her a moment, “That’s a bit creepy sometimes. You knowing stuff and all.”

Her reply was cut off by the sound of Bombur’s gasp, “My word, Master Hobbit, what did you do raid all the kitchens of the valley?”

The company, upon seeing the hobbit overloaded with meats and cheeses and all manner of goods, laughed at Bombur’s jest. Helen smirked as the whole company went practically heart-eyed over the bags full of meats and breads and cheeses that were currently swallowing up Bilbo’s small frame.

“Um,” Bilbo stammered nervous at the sudden and intense attention the company was giving him, “Yes?”

The laughter stopped. Teasing turned to awe. Thorin stepped through the group to stand before the hobbit who looked a bit scared. “So,” Thorin’s deep voice caused Bilbo to jump a bit, “the burglar can indeed burgle.”

Bilbo swallowed.

“Well done,” Thorin clapped a hand on Bilbo’s shoulder nearly knocking him over before he turned and strolled away.

Helen would have to take notes on dramatic entrances and exits from Thorin. Her musings were cutoff as the company rallied around Bilbo and his spoils.

“Burgled their whole meat supply, he did!” Bofur exclaimed.

“And the cheeses too,” Ori said cheerfully.

“Ah! And a bottle of elvish wine!” Dori said merrily, “This pairs well with the cheeses.”

Bifur looked to be very pleased by a bag full of fruits and veggies. Though Hellen did not understand dwarven sign language, the dwarf’s wide grinned and enthusiastic chomp taken out of a large carrot made her giggle.

Helen met Bilbo’s eye over the clamoring of pleased dwarves. She sent him a smile that he returned. She knew how much their acceptance meant to him and seeing him looking so pleased with himself made it all the better.

Once Bilbo’s pilfered goods were packed away, the dwarves- plus Bilbo- each took up the lead of a heavily loaded pony and thus their journey out of Rivendell began. Helen gestured Fíli ahead as she hung back to walk by Bilbo.

The hobbit was still wearing a pleased smile and appeared to be all but bursting with pleasure. She couldn’t help but chuckle as she matched his pace, “You’re having a good morning, I see.”

He grinned up at her, “Oh indeed. It is a fine morning. A good day for journeying, I say.”

She couldn’t help but smile along with him, “Did those bags I gave you give you too much trouble?” She asked. That morning when she had sought out the hobbit in his rooms, she had awoken him and given him large rucksacks supplied to her by Glorfindel. They were made to hold a great deal in a smaller space and much bigger than the sacks to be found in the kitchens. It had doubled the amount of food Bilbo would be able to swipe for the group.

“They worked quite well. It was a good thing you found bags so big. I fear I would have needed to leave behind a good deal of what I managed away with if I had not had them,” he admitted. He glanced up at her, giving a small smile, “I wanted to thank you for that.”

Her brows rose, “For the bags?”

He chuckled, “Well, yes, but I was referring to your having sent me out on the task to begin with. I think it has done a good deal in earning me some kinder thoughts from the lot. So thank you for the idea and the nudging.”

She smiled down at him, “I merely assisted you with an idea you would’ve came up with all on your own.”

He sent her a glance, “You mean in the stories of us?”

She nodded, “Yes, you came up with it all on your own. I just supplied you with bogger bags and gave you more time to gather. The idea would’ve been carried out successfully by you with or without me.”

He smiled at that. It was a comfort to know that he had it in him after all. Perhaps he had more to him than even he knew. “Just the same,” he said at last, “Thank you.”

“Any time, Bilbo,” she said.

He looked behind him to the Last Homely House a ways now down behind in the valley, “I do hope I didn’t take too much from them.”

Helen grinned, “Not to worry. They have more food than they know what to do with. It won’t be missed. I promise.”

"Master Baggins," boomed Thorin's voice from the front of the line, "Keep up or you will be left behind!"

Helen sent the broody leader a frown to the back of his head. She glanced down to see that Bilbo's happiness had burst like a bubble at the harsh tone of Thorin, She lightly nudged his shoulder, "Don't worry you'll come back here plenty."

Her reassurance boosted his confidence and he gave a nod, pulling his pony along.

Helen watched him walk ahead with a determined air. Determined to prove Thorin's doubts wrong, no doubt. She sighed, glancing back into the valley once more. She hoped her preparations would serve the company well. There was only so much she could do now that things had well and truly begun. She turned back to eye the distant peaks of the Misty Mountains. Only time would tell if it would be enough to change fate.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, in the kitchens of Rivendell, the head chef was just entering his pantry. He had the idea for the most wonderful cabbage soup for lunch. With so many hours to cook, it would be a masterpiece. He opened the pantry only to let out the loudest of shrieks upon spying the empty basket-

“My cabbages!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Helen have their first kiss!  
> FILI AND HELEN HAVE THEIR FIRST KISS!!!
> 
> Plus, HAIR BRAIDING! And a side of COURTSHIP!
> 
> Ah! Alright, freak out over. So, it happened. They kissed. Fili asked to court her. He braided her hair. Tropes? Yes. But tropes for a damn good reason? Also yes. Let me explain. I wracked my brain around how to go about their relationship. I knew I wanted it to happen, but the hows and the whens have driven me mad. It basically boiled down to a few things. 
> 
> Firstly, Helen is a modern woman. She is a modern woman with an extremely attractive (am I right) love interest and she has very much wanted to kiss the socks right off of him for a long ass time, mkay?
> 
> Secondly, Fili is a good guy. Like really and truly a good guy. He is also very noble, both in birth and manners. So, after kissing, he would ask her to court him like the good proper lad he is. Especially after she implied they were together. And especially considering he very much wanted to ask her anyway. Regardless of how she may have meant that, he took it as a green light to do the proper thing and ask her to court. 
> 
> Thirdly, courting sounds crazy formal and official, and it is! But it is also just how people's of Middle Earth would date. Casual dating wouldn't really be a thing. So any courtship would be an official courtship, unless it was secret or something like that. Courtship = dating...just a bit more formal of a framework.
> 
> My next hurdle was how to handle the question, "How would a dwarf court?" I thought of so many different things, but braiding just seemed right. So trope it is. However! I threw in a bit of a twist. I also found the city of Ur a fascinating topic of study and the cylinder seals of Ur to be beautiful and exceptional. I thought that it would be super flippin cool if dwarves had the same kind of thing. Using the concepts Peter Jackson supplied of each dwarf having their own design of geometric patterning, I thought that if each dwarf had beads that held their design and could be used as official seals that this would be an added bit to the culture of dwarves. 
> 
> Plus! It makes the giving of such a seal that much more significant. Much like the King of England gave his secretary leave to use his seal, a dwarf giving a seal bead to another is saying "I give you leave to use my name in official capacities." That is huge. Especially for dwarves who love their legal contracts and such. It's the equivalent of giving someone leave to use your signature, your ID, and your social security number in your stead. 
> 
> For a courtship bead to be a personal seal bead (as Fili stated that house beads are exchanged in marriage only), it would signify that Helen and Fili are a united unit, both legally and officially recognizing the courtship and symbolically by stating that Fili trusts her to act in his stead and to bear his name.
> 
> So... yeah... as you guys can see, an anthropology major puts way too much thought into cultural things. But there you have it. Dwarven seal beads. It's now a thing.
> 
> On to other points~
> 
> Thorin is a grumpy grump this chapter! And Bilbo is adorable as always! How cute was he all proud of himself and such. The reason Thorin seemed to grump about will be explained. I know my Thorin has been a calmer Thorin recently, but don't let this broody badger fool you. He is still the lovable grump. And he has reasons.
> 
> Enjoy this banner for the chapter!  
> https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=230868216


	25. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparks light up as the journey continues, though they are different kinds of fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There be songs ahead.

The Misty Mountains were huge. They rivaled even the Himalayas on Earth in both height and vastness. It seemed that no matter how much they trekked the peaks still soared above them. The going was quick at first, but as the air thinned the ponies and company slowed. It was harder to catch your breath, though the dwarves seemed less affected. Helen and Bilbo could feel the strain on their lungs as each day passed.

The trees were beginning to thin and the snow, once falling in light puffs to dust the ground, was increasing in depth as they walked on. It was already nearly to her knees and they looked to not even be close to half way over.

The company had come to a halt and Helen left Bilbo’s side to trudge up through the snow to the front of the line. There Thorin stood looking up at the mountain with Dwalin and Balin at his side. They appeared to be discussing something. Helen stood by the heirs, “What’s going on?”

“Balin believes we should rest at this outcropping for the night,” Kíli answered looking like he hoped it would be the case.

Helen looked at the sun still high in the sky, “But it looks to be barely past midday?”

“Aye,” Fíli nodded, “But this also marks the timberline. Finding shelter come nightfall may be more difficult as we climb. Balin has mentioned as much, but Uncle and Dwalin believe the day too young still to stop.”

Helen watched the discussion that was clearly intense. She glance further up the mountain. She could see what Fíli meant. The trees thinned out and completely stopped a little head. The snow would fall harder from then on. The air would be thinner and unless they were lucky, only the mountain side would provide a shield from the harsh winds.

The three seemed to have reached a conclusion and the way Thorin turned to stomp passed Helen and the heirs made it clear who had gotten their way. Balin approached letting out a sigh, “Boys, would you go about collecting firewood?

Helen watched with a small smile as the pair headed off into the trees to see to their chore.

“You and the lad are well?” Balin asked.

She glanced to the elder dwarf, cheeks tinging pink at being caught staring, “We are. He is a good man, er male? Dwarf?”

Balin chuckled, “Male or dwarf, either work.”

She grinned sheepishly, “Sorry, it is difficult to break language habits. In my world, there was only Children of Men, so ‘man’ or ‘woman’ were our two main gender pronouns in my language.”

Balin’s brows rose, “Two main words? You had many?”

“Oh yes,” she nodded, “My world has many, many languages and most of our world recognizes more than just two genders. The terms are very nearly limitless.”

Balin nodded, “Ah, yes, it is not so with the Men of this world. Dwarfs, however, are much the same. Our females can often pass as males, and many chose to do so. Likewise, our males can chose to do the opposite. There are others who feel neither or both or some other degree of combination.”

Helen looked to the white haired dwarf in surprise, “I had no idea. That is a very forward way of thought. I hope you won’t take offense, but considering that this world is so far behind my own in technology and many other advances, I assumed such ideas were archaic as well. I’m very glad to hear that is not so.”

Balin preened a bit, “No offense taken, my Lady. That is high praise from a Valar sent being from another world. Though,” he added a bit solemnly, “I am afraid the Men of this world are more what you had in mind. Elves, I couldn’t say and Hobbits, you’d have to ask our burglar.” He gave her a great, big, pleased and proud grin from the elder before they parted to help set up camp.

Helen approached Bilbo as he fussed with a strap holding his bedroll.

“Confounded thing. Blasted cold. Blasted frozen fingers,” were the grumbled curses the small hobbit was hurling at the small metal buckle. It appeared to have frozen and he couldn’t get it loose.

“Want some help?” she asked.

He jumped startled, a hand pressed to his chest, “Gracious, Helen, you gave me a fright.”

She winced, “Sorry.” She stepped to his side eyeing the frozen buckle, “Would you like some help?”

He nodded gratefully, “Yes, please. This damnable weather has caused the metal to stick.”

She hummed, “I think you are right.” She leaned forward to breath her hot breath on the small buckle as she removed her gloves and began rubbing her hands together. She cupped the buckle with her warm hands and blew her hot breath on it for a moment before attempting to tug the strap. It wouldn’t budge, “Man, it really has frozen up, hasn’t it?”

Bilbo sagged.

She thought a moment, “Say, Bilbo, do you have any salt?”

He perked up though looking a bit confused, “I do. Just here in my bag.” He dug in a side pocket of his pack and pulled out a small leather satchel, “I brought some from Rivendell to flavor our food.”

She grinned widely, “You clever hobbit.”

He blushed brightly, though looking pleased.

Helen looked around, “Where is my water canteen?” She look around on her bag, frowning at finding it missing, “Crap. I must’ve dropped it.” A canteen was extended in front of her face. She glanced up to see Thorin standing with his offered in his extended hand.

“You may use mine,” he said as he looked to Bilbo and her standing near the pony, “Is something the matter? You looked flustered, Master Baggins.”

The hobbit stammered, blushing a deep red, flustered at Thorin's proximity and sudden appearance.

Helen rushed to save him from his embarrassment, “The buckle froze over. I am helping him get it free.” She explained as she took the canteen, “I will have to ruin the water in it, but I will clean it out for you.”

He nodded watching her with interest as she poured a fair amount of salt into the canteen.

Spotting the curious gazes of Thorin and Bilbo, she explained as she worked, “I’m making a salt water solution. It has a different freezing temperature than plain water.” She closed the canteen and shook it thoroughly. Moving to the buckle, she spoke as the pair watched on, “So, if you pour some on ice,” she poured a small amount on the buckle, wiggling the strap as she did, “it will melt the ice.” With one more tug, the strap came free as the buckle finally gave way.

“Huh,” Bilbo exclaimed, “well, that is a handy trick. Thank you, Helen.”

She smiled, “You’re welcome.” She met Thorin’s appraising look. “I lived where winter would often freeze in my car wheels. Uh, it’s a bit like a wagon, but it doesn’t need horses to pull it along. Salt water can be poured anywhere you need to thaw quickly. But sprinkling salt upon the ground works best for walkways that become too dangerous if iced over.”

Thorin nodded, “Bilbo is right. It is a good trick to know.” He was thinking of uses for salt upon the walkways of Erebor as a way to make the gates safer in the dead of winter.

Helen eyed the hobbit who was still flustered by Thorin’s presence. She cleared her throat, “Well, I’m going to go clean this out for you.” She scurried away leaving Bilbo and Thorin standing alone together. With any hope, they’d be forced to talk.

* * *

 

Later, the fire had been set ablaze and the company huddled in the outcropping around the warmth. Their meal had been filling and with the early nightfall due to the peaks and the change in weather, even Thorin had to agree that it was good they had made camp. The break had boosted everyone’s morale. Many funny stories had been shared and laughter followed freely. Each time Fíli’s face split into a smile, Helen felt her heart skip and her stomach flip. Hers were not the only eyes drawn to another’s, however. She was surprised to spot Dwalin’s eyes upon Nori several times throughout the night. At first, she thought perhaps there was bad blood there, but it seemed that it was when Nori was smiling or laughing that the tattooed warrior’s attention was caught most. If Nori’s smug grin was anything to go by, he was absolutely aware.

Then there was the other pair. Both obvious to the other’s interest and both set on avoiding the eye contact with the other, if they could help it. Helen hid her grin behind her hand as Bilbo’s eyes once more flicked to Thorin who was grinning and chuckling at the over exaggerated arm motions of Kíli as he acted out a tussle he and his brother had gotten into over a misunderstanding between a bar keep, a tailor, and the bar keep’s daughter.

Helen saw as Thorin caught Bilbo’s stare. Both startled-Bilbo with a near squeak as he whipped his head around the other way to pretend an intense conversation with whomever was on his other side… which ending up being a boulder, and Thorin whose face immediately took on a brooding quality, though his pinkish cheek gave away his embarrassment as he all but turned his back to the flustered hobbit.

Helen gave an exasperated sigh. If someone didn’t know better, it would be easy to think the pair did not like each other at all. Clearly, if their blushing faces were anything to go by, that was not the case. Sadly, the case was more that they were absolutely hopeless. Thorin’s default coping mechanism seemed to be look angry and broody and as intimidating as possible. Bilbo, on the other hand, was to squeak and turn into a timid bunny who scurried away to avoid confrontation. Helen felt a bit like smacking her head against the wall… or possibly locking them in a room together and seeing how long it would take before they made out. Either or really.

“Helen?” Bofur’s voice calling her snapped her attention.

She turned to see a good portion of the company looking at her. She gave a sheepish smile, “Sorry, I was lost in thought. What are we talking about?”

Dori spoke up, “We were discussing entertainment and had agreed that song was our favorite.:

Nori grinned, "We were wondering what yours was, Lady Helen.”

She smiled at that, “Oh music to be sure. Music has also been very important to my family.”

“What is the music like where you are from, Lady Helen?” Ori asked timidly, though his face was a kind smile as he peered at her over his book.

“We have many kinds. There is folk, country, pop, rock, rap, r&b, classical, soul, oldies, swing, indie, electronica, and then there are the cultural songs of the many different peoples of my world. We have many different kinds of instruments too. We have the same ones you have, but we have others as well,” she explained.

Bifur said something in the gruff, harsh words of Kazadul, his hands forming the signs of the language as he spoke.

Bombur translated for his brother, “Bifur, asked if you’d sing a song from your world.”

Bifur nodded with a wide grin.

Ori sat up straighter, “Oh yes! Please do, Lady Helen. I would very much like to hear a song from another world.” He held his pen and ink eager to write down her words when she sang.

Helen flushed a bit, “I haven’t sung in front of anyone for the sake of singing in a long time,” she admitted bashfully.

Kíli leaned forward with his eyes wide, “Oh come on, Helen! We’ve heard you sing before, you remember, back in Bag End. And a few times since on the road, though it was quietly done.”

She flushed deeper, meeting Bilbo’s gaze across the flames. He gave her a nod of incouragement.

Fíli sat at her side and spoke affectionately, “You don’t have to if you are feeling shy, love.”

She sent him a grateful glance before sighing, “Alright, but would any of you happen to have a lute with you? I’ll have to play softly to not cause an avalanche up the mountain, but it will help if I play along.”

A lute was produced and Helen sat tuning it as the many eyes of the company fixed upon her. She cleared her throat, “A lot of songs from my world would be considered inappropriate here, but I will try my best to think of one that most represents where I grew up.”

She plucked a few cords and then recalled a tune that her mother had always loved. It was a song with strong southern roots and the tune was beautiful.

_“I was standing at my window_

_On one cold and cloudy day._

_And I saw the hearse come rolling,_

_For to carry my mother away._

_Can the circle be unbroken?_

_By and by, Lord, by and by._

_There’s a better home awaiting,_

_In the sky, Lord, In the sky.”_

Her voice rang out as her fingers softly plucked the cords. The company hung on her words and as the last chord rang out. They clapped and asked for another. Feeling a better, she played a silly one, “Chug-a-lug” by Roger Miller, that made them stomp their feet and join.

She laughed a bit at their mirth, “Alright, someone else’s turn.” A chorus of aw’s rang out, but she shook her head, “Absolutely won’t be the only one making a fool of herself. Come on one of you.”

Bilbo squirmed in his seat as the others bickered over who would go next. Helen spotted him and rose a brow, “Bilbo?”

The others looked to the hobbit, who flushed at the attention.

Helen smiled, “Come on, don’t let me suffer alone.”

Bilbo smiled softly at her before nodding, “Well, very well then. I suppose I know one. He cleared his throat, “I’m afraid I cannot play an instrument, so you’ll have to deal with my voice alone.”

Once he began, Helen grinned. It was a song Bilbo sang on the journey. “The Walking song” it was called by Tolkien though many new it by another name.

“ _Roads go ever ever on,_

_Over rock and under tree,_

_By caves where never sun has shone,_

_By streams that never find the sea;_

_Over snow by winter sown,_

_And through the merry flowers of June,_

_Over grass and over stone,_

_And under mountains in the moon.”_

He cleared his throat, “I’m afraid I’m still writing it.”

Helen smiled and clapped, “It is lovely. I’m sure it will be wonderful when you finish it.”

The others nodded in agreement and Bilbo smiled shyly. The dwarves sang a few of their own. At Bofur’s insistence, she was convinced to do a more inappropriate song. The company was a mix of giggles and blushes as she sang a ballsy acoustic version of “I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked” by Ida Maria. Fíli was possibly the brightest of blusher after that one, much to the pleasure of Kíli who teased him mercilessly.

This lead to a round of who could sing the bawdiest song. To everyone’s surprise, Dori ended up winning with a sweeping landslide with a song about a fair maiden, a goat, and a farmhand. Helen had fanned her face for several minutes after that one.

As the night grew, the company calmed into several smaller groups talking. Helen listened to one conversation to another, while absentmindedly playing the lute. It was similar to her guitar, and though she wished she had her instrument, it felt familiar in her hands.

Fíli looked to Helen, “Do you think you could sing one more before we sleep?”

She flushed, “Oh no, I wouldn’t want to make you all suffer through another.”

Ori and Kíli fixed her with puppy faces and she sighed, “That is hardly playing fair.” Thinking for a moment she glanced at Fíli. The firelight danced in his eyes and her breath caught. Sometimes, his looks caught her off guard. He was too handsome. For a dwarf- for any race. Her heart skipped and then raced and suddenly her fingers were moving on the strings. She plucked a tune her mother had sung to her father. It seemed to pour from her soul.

_“Love is a burning thing a_ _nd it makes a fiery ring._

_Bound by wild desire,_ _I fell into a ring of fire._

_I fell into a burning ring of fire,_ _I went down, down, down_

_And the flames went higher._

_And it burns, burns, burns,_

_The ring of fire, the ring of fire.”_

She hardly noticed the others watching, let alone their presence as she stared into Fíli’s eyes as though hypnotized.

_“The taste of love is sweet w_ _hen hearts like ours meet._

_I fell for you like a child,_ _Oh, but the fire went wild._

_I fell into a burning ring of fire,_ _I went down, down, down_

_And the flames went higher_

_And it burns, burns, burns,_

_The ring of fire, the ring of fire.”_

When at last, the final words were sung and her fingers slowed. Helen felt that her heart would race from her chest. She sat eyes locked with Fíli. His eyes were slightly wide and his mouth a bit agape. She swallowed feeling exposed under his gaze. Though it wasn’t her intent, it felt like she had been singing that song for him, to him, about him. She hadn’t meant to say she loved him. It was too early to love him like that. Too soon to be in love with him. Still, something in his gaze had captured her and pulled her in. Now it was done and she was surprised at herself. ‘Where had that even came from?’ She wondered.

The popping of the fire broke the spell of silence that had fallen over the group. Members scurried to their feet muttering about sleep and early mornings.

Helen tore her gaze from Fíli’s and stared at her feet. She handed the lute to a passing Gloin, “Thank you for letting me use it.”

He looked a bit embarrassed as he nodded and went off in search of his bedding.

Helen’s face fell. Fantastic, she made it awkward with her accidental declaration of love in front of the whole company. Fíli seemed entirely caught off guard, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t feeling that way as well.

When Bilbo cleared his throat and went about arranging his bedding, Helen sprung to her feet, “I’ll help!” Her voice was louder than she intended, but she ignored it and fled to the ponies in her embarrassment.

Fíli sat unmoving as he watched her leave.

Kíli, Ori, Dwalin and Thorin still remained by the fire as well.

Kíli was the one to finally speak, “You put a braid in her hair.”

Fíli blinked turning his eyes from Helen’s form at last. Kíli’s playfulness was gone as he looked at his brother searchingly.

Kíli said, “And our father’s courting beads.”

Fíli nodded, “I did.”

Thorin’s voice spoke up, “Does she know what that means?”

Fíli glanced to Thorin in confusion, “Of course she knows what they mean.”

Thorin lifted his chin, “And she knows what it means for her should the courtship end in marriage? She knows your duty is in being heir?”

Fíli’s brows furrowed, “She knows my role as heir, yes.”

Thorin’s mouth was tugged downward. At last his expression softened and he nodded at last, “We all should sleep. Morning will come quicker than any of us would like. Dwalin, you and I will take first watch.”

Fíli watched as his Uncle and Dwalin left to sit near the entrance of their outcropping. He was worried that Thorin would disapprove of his courtship for a moment. Instead, the opposite seemed to have occurred. For Thorin, if he had objected, he would've made it plain.

Kíli’s voice caught his attention once more, “You look at her like Amad looked to Adad. I cannot remember much, but that I do.”

Fíli’s gaze found Helen’s form once more. He watched her smiling at something Bilbo said and found himself smiling too. “Aye,” he said, “She is my one.” He turned back to see Ori and Kíli’s wide eyed expressions. He chuckled, standing to pat them both on the shoulder, “Best mind Uncle and get our sleep,” he said as he made to get his bedroll.

“Does she know?” Ori asked.

Fíli stopped. He glanced back Helen meeting her gaze. He broke it before turning back, “No,” was his reply as he walked away.

Ori and Kíli sat still, exchanging glances. Ori looked concerned, “He should tell her, shouldn’t he? It’d be best to hear it from him, wouldn’t it?”

Kíli’s mouth was a firm line as he agreed, “Aye, he should. If she truly is his one, he will love no other for all of his days.”

* * *

 

The next few days grew more and more brutal. The winds and snow picked up. Gone where the trees to shield them from some of the harsh elements. They had only each other, the ponies, and the steep walls of the mountain path that cut into the side of the peak like a narrow, winding snake.

Helen was never afraid of height, per say. But the narrow path and harsh weather added to the sheer drop made her stomach flip in very unpleasant ways. The snow gave way to a fierce rain storm and Helen struggled to see as her eyes were pelted. She knew there would be bad things ahead, but she didn’t know exactly when and she couldn’t warn them around it. Bilbo had to find the ring.

The only way that would happen was for the company to fall into Goblin Town. It didn’t mean she had to like it. Thunder shook the mountain causing the ponies to startle. Helen had to take the lead from Bilbo who was nearly flung off the cliff as his pony reared her head.

Thorin was yelling, but she couldn’t make out the sounds.

Then thunder boomed again, shaking the very mountain and sending rocks from further up the rocky slopes. The lightening flashed and Helen’s stomach dropped.

“Stone giants,” she whispered in terrified awe as Balin yelled the warning out over the sounds of the rain and wind.

The stone giants kicked up large pieces of mountain and kicked it between them like the most bizarre and destructive game of soccer she had ever seen. A large chunk flee towards their mountain, hitting high above them and shattering into small boulders and rocks.

“Take cover!” Thorin’s yell cut through the noise.

She grabbed a handful of Bilbo’s clothes as someone else grabbed a handful of hers. Both were yanked to the cliffside and shielded just in time as large rocks pelted down from above.

She opened her eyes to meet with Fíli’s. He looked worried as he clutched to her, which made her even more scared. She opened her mouth to thank him when the ground moved. She threw her arms against the rock to steady herself. The ground at her feet shifted and wobbled. Fíli still had a firm grip on her keeping her from losing her balance. As a crack opened at her feet, she gave Bilbo a shove backwards into Balin and Thorin’s arms.

Then the giant they stood on awoke and they were parting from the group who watched on in pure terror. Fíli pulled her flush against him. She looked down to meet his eyes and saw the fear in them.

Thorin’s and Kíli's screams of Fíli’s name had the pair looking back to the group only to realize with great horror that they were approaching fast. Too fast. Their giant was falling. They were headed for the mountain side.

Fíli pulled her face back to his, “Don’t look away from my eyes,” he ordered firmly.

She clutched at his fur overcoat. “Fíli, we are gonna die,” her tone hysterical.

“Shh,” he hushed her pulling her down to kiss her briefly. He held her face looking into her eyes and he smiled softly, “I love you.”

The air whooshed then. The whistling drowning out the screams of the others. She was tugged down and against the rock wall as Fíli threw himself over her as a shield for the mountain side zooming up to meet them. It wouldn’t be enough. They’d be smears on the rock.

“Mahal help us,” she heard someone beside them yell.

Fíli chanted over her, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Then they collided. Their giant slammed into the mountain side. They flew from their ledge to smash into the rockwall. Her face smacked Fíli’s chest, the taste of iron filling her mouth. But they were alive.

The giant they had been on moments before crumbled and fell into the deep ravine. She pulled her head from Fíli’s chest. They had made it.

“Fíli!” Kíli’s voice screamed, “Helen!”

She winced standing up, watching as Fíli was all but bowled over by Kíli tackling him in a hug. Thorin stormed over retching Fíli from Kíli sobbing form and pulling him into a bone crushing hug, “Stupid, reckless idiot.”

Kíli turned to her, all tears and snot, “Helen, you're bleeding!”

Fíli jolted at that turning from his Uncle’s embrace to search Helen’s form.

Another boulder smashed above them raining down rocks.

Thorin hollered over the noise, “We must seek shelter lest we be blown off the mountain!”

“Where is Bilbo?” Bofur yelled.

Everyone startled, looking around. Helen ran to the edge and looked over, “Bilbo!” She yelled, falling to her stomach to try and reach, “Thorin! He is down here! I can’t reach!”

Thorin all but dove over the edge grabbing Bilbo’s arm. Dwalin grabbed Thorin and pulling the two up.

Balin patted the terrified hobbit’s shoulder giving a comforting smile, “I feared we lost our burglar.”

“He has been lost since he left the Shire,” Thorin snarled. “He never should’ve come. This is not the place for his kind,” he turned seeing the blood dripping from Helen’s split lip, “Neither of them should have!”

Helen’s mouth fell open at Thorin’s harsh look.

“Fíli! Kíli! Scout ahead!” he barked out.

Fíli gave her a concerned look but she nodded him on, “It’s alright. Go ahead.” Still, he was reluctant to leave her still unsure how injured she was.

As the heir’s disappeared, Helen spit out more blood. Bilbo, still shaken, approached her, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she said, “Just split my lip on Fíli’s chest when we crash earlier.”

Thorin’s sharp voice cut off Bilbo’s reply, “My nephew nearly died because of you. You’d do well to remember your goal on this quest.”

Helen’s hackles rose, as she turned to face Thorin, “What did you just say?”

Dwalin bristled at her tone, but no one interfered as Thorin stepped up to stand nose-to-nose with her. “You heard my words, girl,” he seethed, “Your relationship with my nephew has clearly muddled your mind or have you forgotten that it is your job to prevent his death, not cause it.”

“Excuse me, asshole,” she snapped, pointing a finger into his chest, “The stone giants happen no matter what! Fíli nearly dies here no matter what."

"Yet you gave us no warning," he yelled back.

"Don’t speak to me of my job here! I know better than you what perils you face. If you think for one second that it is not ever on my mind then you are poorly mistaken. What do you think it would do to me if I fail? If Fíli dies?” She stopped for a moment fighting the sudden urge to cry. “You can be a real dick sometimes, Thorin Oakenshield.”

Thorin’s eyes flashed as he took a step closer to her.

“Uncle?”

They froze turning to see Fíli and Kíli had returned, both wearing concerned looks as they looked between the two. Helen moved first, knocking Thorin’s shoulder as she moved passed, “Excellent. Lead the way to the cave.”

No one moved for a moment, except Fíli who took a step to follow Helen, pausing only to glance at his seething Uncle before doing so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you there'd be songs! Here are links to the versions I had in mind:
> 
> Helen's first song is "Can The Circle Be Unbroken" by June Carter in this version: https://soundcloud.com/juliepaul98/reprise-the-carter-family-can-the-circle-be-unbroken
> 
> Helen's drinking song is "Chug-a-lug" by Roger Miller, here's a cover version that'd be close to hers:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmWYGw1jopI
> 
> Her naughty song is "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked" by Ida Maria, here's a cover that is in the style Helen would have done it for them. Song starts at 1:00 in:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6-z9PeWIcw
> 
> Her final song is Jewel's version of "Ring of Fire" by June Carter sung by Johnny Cash. It is a slower version as June meant it to be and incredibly beautiful:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjBhIWN6R7c&app=desktop  
> BTW this is my favorite version of it that isn't Jewel >.>:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx9BTfff5Ag&app=desktop
> 
> Alright! Chapter chat time! A lot happened here. 
> 
> Helen tries to give Thorin and Bilbo some alone time. She ships it so hard.
> 
> Helen sings a song basically to Fili about falling in love. He is hella heart eyes over it but caught by surprise (happily so). Helen is absolutely blindsided cause she has no idea she is his one and is thinking like a human from our world still. She is also super embarrassed to have had a moment in front of everyone.
> 
> Thorin gives his approval in a very Thorin way.
> 
> Fili tells Kili and Ori and whom ever was close enough to hear that Helen is his one.
> 
> Helen is with Fili has he rides on the Stone Giant express. He is too good for words, trying to calm her as they face certain death and tells her he loves her before trying his best to try to save her by shielding her body with his own.
> 
> Thorin blames Helen for Fili being in danger, because of course he does. -_-' Helen sets his ass straight. Thus leaving Helen and Thorin on not so good of terms.
> 
> Et viola! More soon! Thanks for the reviews! It feeds the muses. :)


	26. Down, Down, Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goblin Town means Helen facing a hiccup. Did she change something for the worse already? Where is Gandalf?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning... lots of cussing and gruesome descriptions. It's Goblin Town.

Helen had stomped along behind Fíli and Kíli, both shooting her nervous glances, as the rest of the Company followed a bit behind. She knew that Thorin had a tendency to brood and resort to rude and snappish behavior when he was stressed or upset. She knew witnessing his nephew and heir nearly become a smear on the mountain side had shaken him. She knew this, but it didn’t make his words any less hurtful.

The truth was that he wasn’t entirely wrong. Helen did know what was coming and she could’ve warned the group about the stone giants. Perhaps then Fíli wouldn’t have nearly been smashed along with several others, but she couldn’t warn them. If she had, what would she have done if they wished to find another route? The company had to go through Goblin Town. And, that meant she had to go as well.

She was not looking forward to it. She had yet to see a goblin and she wasn’t eager for it to happen. Tolkien’s descriptions and Peter Jackson’s creations didn’t make her feel that pleased to take a tumble into their domain in just a short while. She was terrified. She had been terrified since her and Fíli zoomed toward a rocky cliff.

The Company gave her a wide girth as they all piled into the cave. Ponies were lead to the back and stood munching on their dinner hanging from their faces in feed sacks. Helen loved animals and her stomach twinged at their coming doom. The dwarves did their best to make a meal with no fire, since Thorin wouldn’t allow it. Bilbo was the only one to linger nearer to her, though he sat in silence as she seethed and sulked.

Thorin kept giving her glares and sneers and she felt ready to chunk a rock at his head. Fíli had been keeping his distance as well. Whether to keep his uncle from blowing up or for some other reason, she didn’t know, but it sent a pang through her chest just the same. They had nearly died. Together on that stone giant. He had held her, kissed her, told her he loved her, and then did his best to try and shield her as they faced certain death and now what?

She sighed as she glanced at him across the way. Did he feel the same way his uncle did? That she was failing at her job of keeping them safe? Did she feel that way as well? She groaned dropping her head into her hands to rub at her temples.

“Don’t let his words from before get to you.”

“Hm?” she looked up to see Bilbo fiddling with a frayed bit of his pant leg.

He glanced up at her, “What Thorin said to you before, don’t let it get you down.”

She sighed, “I wish I could. Unfortunately he wasn’t exactly wrong and that is what makes it harder to swallow.”

Bilbo looked confused, “What are you saying? Of course he was wrong. You’ve made it clear to us all that you’d do anything to save any one of us.”

She nodded looking down, “Yes, I would. But there are some dangers that you all will face on this journey that I can’t warn you about. Dangers that lead to a greater good. If I did try to stop certain things from happening, the world as you know it could end.”

The hobbit looked startled at that, a hand raising to his chest, “Gracious me. That is an odious thing to hear.”

She could only give a weak smile, “Tell me about it.”

They sat in silence for a while before Bilbo spoke once again, “I’m leaving.”

Helen startled, “What?”

“I’m going back to Rivendell,” Bilbo clarified, “when they’ve gone to sleep, I’ll go. Thorin was wrong about you, but he was right about me. I never should’ve left the Shire.”

“Bilbo,” Helen sighed sadly, “You can’t leave. I know you feel like you aren’t a part of the company, like you are in over your head, but you are meant to be here.”

Bilbo just gave her a sad little smile and looked away.

“Thorin will come to know your worth before this journey is done. I promise,” she said.

After a moment, Bilbo gave a small nod, but his shoulders were still hunched.

She chewed her lip. Perhaps she could give him the tiniest of reassurances, just a bit of help for what he was about to face. “Listen,” she cleared her throat, “I can’t say too much,” her words caught his attention, “But just know that when it all falls down and you find yourself alone in the dark, a clever twist of words can do the trick. And sometimes the things that seem simple can be the answer we need.”

He looked confused at her meaning, but she couldn’t risk saying more.

She patted his arm, “I’m going to grab us some dinner.”

* * *

 

That night, Helen did her best to get some sleep. She knew what was coming and knew she could use the rest, but it was one thing to know it’d be a good idea and another thing entirely to try to sleep in a cave when thousands of goblins awaited you.

Needless to say, she heard as Bilbo went to make his escape. She heard Bofur’s well-wishes and heard the crack of the door of Goblin Town opening. She heard the ponies being grabbed. It took all of her willpower and a good deal of fear to remain unmoving until boney hands grabbed her and dragged her after the others.

When the door of Goblin Town slammed shut with a great boom and the sounds of the company fighting their captures filled her ears, she tried her best to keep her face down and struggle as little as possible. Who knows what would be fall a female in the hands of goblins?

She caught glimpses of the goblin’s halls as they were drug along. She saw skulls on pikes and bones with dried bits of flesh hung about as macabre décor. The smell was horrid and she gagged from it more than once. She heard Fíli and Kíli shout her name several times, but she dared not call back out of fear of discovery.

As they were drug along, the goblins sang their dark and twisted song. The sounds effects they put along with it made her tremble as whips and chains and loud bangs echoed through the damp and dark tunnels. The laughter and cackles of their tormentors as they pinched and prodded and whipped them along was the stuff of nightmares. Helen tried her best to give Bilbo a reassuring look as he passed her vision with eyes so wide the white showed all around them, but it made no difference. Goblin Town was the place nightmares were made from and where people went to die.

At last, they came to the great platform where the Goblin King sat upon his gruesome throne. The Company was shoved to stand in a group and she was immediately moved to the center of them along with Bilbo. She kept her face down as best she could, but still caught Thorin’s eyes. It was clear he blamed her for this as well.

A hand grabbed her wrist and she looked up from her crouched position to see Fíli at her side. He stood in front of her just the slightest, as though to block her from view. He glanced down at her, but his frown made her stomach drop. His eyes flicked away, “Don’t let them know you are a woman.”

She winced. He was still trying to protect her even as they had been half slapped into chains, but he clearly was upset if he could barely stand to look at her.

“What miserable persons are these?” a great voice boomed. The Goblin King sat looking over their group with disgust as their weapons were taken from them and thrown in a pile. His appearance was horrific and Helen couldn't help but her knees shaking.

“Dwarves!” called one wheezy voice, “And this!” It gave the chain in its hand a tug and Bilbo was yanked from the center of the group to fall to his knees upon the rough boards.

“We found ‘em on the front porch,” called another.

The Goblin King seemed greatly disturbed by this and he looked over the group with great scrutiny. Helen turned her face downward to avoid his gaze. “What is the meaning of this?” he asked.

She heard the shuffling of someone in the group stepping forward and Thorin’s voice called out, “Thorin the dwarf at your service.” He explained that they sought shelter from the storm and didn’t know they sheltered at the gates of Goblin Town.

“So you say!” the Goblin King boomed, “What were you doing in the mountains at all? Where did you come from and where are you going?” He quizzed suspiciously. “Speak carefully, Thorin Oakenshield, for I already know too much of you and your people. Speak the truth or I will have to prepare something most uncomfortable for you.”

The goblins filling the cavern cackled excitedly at that.

“We are on a journey to visit relatives who live East of these most hospitable mountains,” Thorin explained.

Helen thought he deserved a gold star for ass kissing.

“He is a liar!” one Goblin exclaimed. “Several of us where stabbed and flayed as we welcomed them into our halls.”

Helen felt a well of dread fill her. This wasn’t right. Gandalf was supposed to have been there with them. She had forgotten, but know she remembered. He was meeting up with them after they departed Rivendell, but that was not how it happened in the books. Would he discover their whereabouts in time like in the movie? Or had she messed something up somehow?

A howl of rage snapped her attention as the Goblin King gave out a mighty yell, “Murderers! Elf-friends!” He exclaimed in terror as Orcrist was thrown to the floor before him. The halls filled with the shrieks and squeals of thousands of goblins.

She had only a moment to think. Gandalf hadn’t been with them. She couldn’t know that he was coming at all.

“Slash them, beat them, bite them, gnash them! Take them away to dark holes full of snakes and never let them see the light of day again!” The Goblin King was in such a rage that he jumped from his throne and rushed at Thorin with his mouth open as if to bite him in two.

“No!” Helen screamed, launching herself forward. Fíli’s grip fell away from her wrist as she pushed her way through.

“Helen!” he called.

She ran past a surprised Thorin and stood in front of him with her arms out and eyes clenched shut. The halls quieted.

“What is this?” the Goblin King said, spittle from his mouth hit her face, “A woman?”

She turned her head from the stench of his breath.

A squeal of excitement burst from the Goblin King, “Better! A she-elf!” The clamor that filled the halls then was truly deafening. He poked at her ear.

She smacked away his hand as he poked at her earning a gleeful chuckle from the grotesque creature.

“Feisty too! What business does a she-elf have with the likes of Thorin Oakenshield and his folk, hm?” He leaned closer causing her to lean her face away in disgust, “Are you the whore then?”

She grit her teeth as the Company began yelling for her to be left alone.

“They seem mighty fond of you, she-elf,” the Goblin King sneered, “Perhaps we could have some fun with you before we kill the rest. Let ‘em watch you squirm and squeal.”

Helen felt Thorin move. She pushed him back with a glare, mouthing ‘Don’t.’ His jaw clenched. She answered the Goblin King as she held Thorin’s gaze, hoping he’d get the message, “I am here for a reason and I will fulfill that goal.” Thorin’s eyes narrowed as he caught her meaning, but he stopped pressing to get passed her.

She ignored the frantic pleading from Fíli, who was fighting against the goblins holding him back, as she turned to face the Goblin King, “You will not hurt them.”

The Goblin King let out a mighty laugh, spinning around with his arms out to gesture at the vast hall filled with his minions, “Wont hurt them, she says! Ha! And tell me, little she-elf whore, what do you plan to do to stop us, hm? Going to cast some elvish spell over us?”

She swallowed. What could she do? Her mind flashed back to the trolls. Stall. She could stall. She stood up straighter, “Yes.”

“Hm, what?” The Goblin King turned to look at her.

She tilted her head up in feigned confidence, “I said, yes. I will cast an elvish spell on you.”

The Goblin King looked nervous for a moment.

Helen heard Thorin hissing from behind her, “What are you doing?”

She mumbled so only he could hear, “Biding time. When I signal, go for the weapons.” She stepped forward, grinning as the goblins and their King took a step back. “I will make you regret the day you ever so much as looked at Thorin Oakenshield and his company.” She took another step forward and they took another step back, “I will make your very flesh melt away from your bones, twist your innards until they are outwards,” another step forward and the goblins took another step back, “I will call forth sunlight to melt your very eyes and singe your filthy hair!” Another step followed by the screech of a goblin who was shoved off over the edge. She grinned, they were running out of space.

“Now!” she yelled as she surged forward. The goblins jumped back as she screamed, squealing and falling over themselves. Many fell over the ledge behind them. She heard Thorin yell to the company and heard them taking up their weapons.

The Goblin King saw this and turned to her with a snarl, “You elf bitch! You tricked us!” He charged her and smacked her across the face sending her flying backwards.

“Helen!” she heard someone yell. She saw stars and blinked as her vision swam. A hand fell to her shoulder.

The sounds of the hall erupted as the Goblin King yelled, “The elf whore lied. She has no magic! Get them you fools! Kill them! Let none live!”

She was tugged to her feet. Dwalin sent her a look from nearby, “You’re right crazy lass.”

Her vision was still spinning, “I had to try to give him time.”

“Who time?” Fíli asked. She glanced to see he was the one who held her by the arm keeping her on her feet.

“Gandalf,” she said as though it was obvious. She felt odd. The floor seemed to be tilting.

The first wave of goblins had ran at them and were being slashed down by the dwarfs when all the lights went out in the cavern. Fíli’s hand tightened on her arm.

The goblins yelled in fear, “It’s the elf-witch! A spell!”

“What is happening?” Kíli asked from her other side.

“Gandalf, I hope,” she said.

“Wha-“ Kíli’s question was cut off as a blast erupted and a blinding light like many fireworks burst through the room, popping like a string of Black Cats on the Fourth of July.

“Told you,” she said as she fell over finally.

Fíli gathered her in his arms, “Helen!”

“Get ready to run,” she said as she clutched at his fur coat. The hit the Goblin King had given her was making her feel like puking. She wondered if she had a concussion.

Fíli’s hold tightened around her and Gandalf’s voice was heard over the chaos, “Follow me!” And then they were off.

* * *

 

Helen knew they were running for their lives. She could hear the slap of the many goblin feet following on their tail. She feared for Fíli who was stuck fighting one-handed as he held her on his hip like a child. Her feet drug on the floor and she had enough alertness to wrap her legs around his waist lest they stumble because of it.

She knew not how long they ran nor did she catch all that was said. She felt her consciousness dim and flicker. Her temple and jaw throbbed and she was beginning to fear that she truly did have a concussion. The next moment she was soaring through the air. Her breath left her and she groaned as her face smacked into the hard chest of Dwalin who caught her.

“Easy, does it lass,” he said and then they all were stopped.

“Did you think you could escape me?” she heard the Goblin King exclaim. She heard Gandalf’s sword slicing through flesh and the next thing she knew they were all falling.

As the company landed upon the broken bridge, she rolled from Dwalin’s grasp. She leaned up on her hands and knees and puked as the Goblin King landed atop the others. Groans of pain and curses were muttered and then Kíli spotted their pursuers.

“Get up! Get up!” Gandalf urged, “Our only hope now is daylight. Run!”

An arm wrapped around her waist and she was tossed over a shoulder, “Don’t hurl on me, lassy,” she heard Bofur say as he ran with her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

As she bounced around, she groaned, “No promises.”

He gave a hearty laugh, even as his legs pushed faster.

She saw Dori running behind her and Bofur and saw Bilbo holding onto his back for dear life. His eyes were wide with terror as she caught his gaze. She saw the goblin make a grab for Dori, who gave a yelp and turned to fight him off. She saw Bilbo be flung from his back and fall into a dark crack with his arm extended to her for help. She couldn’t have reached him even if she had wanted to. Instead, she wrenched her eyes closed to the look of horror in his eyes as he vanished into the dark.

* * *

 

The daylight stung her eyes. She winced as they finally poured out of the mountain. They did not stop running for a while, eager to put distance between them and that horrible place. When at last, they slowed to a stop. Bofur was heaving as he sat her down gently.

She immediately crawled to a nearby boulder and hurled again. Someone held back her braid and rubbed her back.

“Are we all here?” Gandalf asked as he counted them off, “Let me see: one- that’s Thorin; two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven- where are Fíli and Kíli?”

She startled before seeing them standing by Oin who was the one patting her back.

“Ah,” Gandalf said having spotted them, “There they are, And there is Helen. Very good. Thirteen, fourteen- and here is Mr. Baggins, fifthte- Mr. Baggins?” Gandalf looked around, “Where is Bilbo?”

The Company erupted into noise as everyone scrambled around looking for the hobbit.

“Who had him last?” Bombour asked.

“I had him on my back,” exclaimed Dori.

“Well, where is he now?” asked Bofur.

“How should I know?” Dori huffed, “He must’ve fallen when that goblin grabbed for me.”

A commotion went up as they bemoaned the hobbits fate at the hands of the goblins. Helen winced as she stood, her head still throbbed and she still felt woozy, but the world was no longer spinning. “Bilbo, will be here,” she said.

Oin, the one closest, turned to her, “What was that, lass? Bilbo what?”

The rest heard his question and turned to her for answers.

“I said, he will be here,” she said louder.

Thorin snarled, “Why should we listen to anything you say? You who claims to know what will come? You let us meet with the stone giants nearly getting Fíli, who you claim to care for, and others killed. You let us fall into the hands of the goblins. Why should we trust you?”

She glared at him, as the company shuffled uneasily. She looked around seeing how they averted their eyes. She scoffed, “So that’s it then? You all think I’m, what? Leading you all to your deaths? Are you kidding me right now?”

They said nothing.

She looked to Kíli, who looked down sadly, and then Fíli, who turned his head away. Her mouth dropped, “Wow, that’s just lovely. Did you all honestly think I enjoyed any of this?”

They said nothing.

She threw up her hands, “You think that I wanted to be nearly squished like a bug on the side of a damn mountain? Or did you all forget that I was right there by Fíli and the others on that stone giant?” They shuffled on their feet. “Do you all think I wanted to get captured by a bunch of filthy, disgusting, vile goblins? Did you not hear what they wanted to do to me?”

“Well, why didn’t you warn us then?” Thorin yelled as he stormed up into her face.

“Because I cannot change the fucking future too much, you damned, bloody stubborn dwarf! Or you all will die! You and Men and Elves and Hobbits! Everyone in this stupid world will die if I fuck it up! Do you have any idea what it is like having that weight on your shoulders?” She screamed back.

Thorin stepped back eyes wide.

She felt tears rolling down her cheeks and it just made her more livid. “You _had_ to get captured. You _had_ to go to Goblin town. If you didn’t then, the whole fucking world would end,” she jabbed her finger into his chest, “There are bigger things than you and your fucking mountain happening. I’m going to save your ungrateful ass and the asses of your heirs, but I’ll be _damned_ if I doom you all to a worse fate and let the ultimate weapon of evil fall into the wrong hands. You have no idea what it is like to know what is coming and to know you have to sit back and watch it happen  to people you care about. To know there is nothing you can do or else."

"I’ve already changed things!” She whirled around to Gandalf, “You were supposed to be in that cave with us. Something changed and you weren’t and I was fucking terrified because I couldn’t be sure you’d get to us in time.”

She whirled back to Thorin who looked somber. “I faced down the Goblin King to try and give Gandalf time to find us. I had no idea if it would work. Do you think that was fun for me? Goblins don’t exist in my world. I was terrified! But I talked through my ass hoping to give you all even the tiniest glimmer of hope. So don’t preach to me about how I could’ve saved you all. I stopped them from ripping you all to shreds before Gandalf could get to us. You're fucking welcome!”

With that she whirled away from the group, finding a rock to climb up on. She heard them begin to move after a while, but she refused to climb down, even when Oin came asking to check her head injury. Even when Fíli tried to get her to eat some of the rabbit they had hunted.

It was a good while later when Gandalf came to stand at the base of her perch. He was smoking. She watched his smoke rings dance through the air.

“They feel properly ashamed,” he said at last.

“Good,” she huffed wrapping her arms tighter around her drawn up knees.

He nodded, “Yes, they should. You did well bidding time.”

She looked down to him, “Did I? Because I feel like I very nearly got them all killed.” She sighed, “I wasn’t kidding when I said you were meant to travel with us to the Goblin Town entrance. You were to kill off many as you slipped out and found another way in. How did you know where to find us?”

He puffed on his pipe, glancing up to her from beneath bushy brows, “I was not far behind. A few hours at most. It was goblin blood splattered in the cave and a series of drag marks towards the back that gave me a clue.”

She nodded grimly, “Well, that’s lucky then.”

He hummed, “Perhaps or perhaps it was more.”

She looked at him curiously just as a commotion came from behind. Thorin was pacing, “We need to move!”

“But Helen said Bilbo was coming,” Kíli said glancing her way.

Thorin frowned, “She also said things changed before. Mr. Baggins is long gone. He found a chance and took it. He will be on his way back to the Shire to his armchair and handkerchiefs.”

She frowned, looking to Gandalf with a raised brow. So much for them feeling ashamed for doubting her.

“Bilbo!” Several yelled in surprise. She turned back to see Bilbo standing the middle of camp looking pleased with himself.

“Here is your burglar,” he decreed, his hand slipping into his pocket.

“Where did you come from?” exclaimed Balin who was standing guard.

Gandalf looked astonished. They all wanted to know how he got out. Bilbo told them the story and bemoaned his lost buttons.

“What did I tell you?” Gandalf chuckled, “Mr. Baggins has more about him than you guessed!” As the excitement ebbed, Gandalf told them to rest up for a time. They’d have to move to put distance between them and the mountain before nightfall, lest the goblins come pouring out after them.

As the company rambled about, Bilbo spotted Helen up on her rock. She slipped down to stand near him, looking guilty as she did.

He didn’t look upset, however. “I remembered your words from before- when we were in the cave,” he said as he looked up at her.

She winced, “I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you about him.”

He merely shook his head and patted her arm, “No need to fret. I know you said what you could. It helped you know. When I fell and it was dark, I was scared and then I remembered what you said.” He looked hesitant as he lifted a hand to touch the outside of a pocket.

She shook her head, “No. Keep it secret. You were meant to find it. But you must never show any, except Gandalf. No one must know you have it. Use it only when you must.”

He looked grim as he nodded. “This is why we had to go into that place, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” she admitted.

He gave a nod, “Very well. I will do as you say.”

She let out a sigh, “Thank you, Bilbo, for believing me.”

He gave a small smile, “And thank you for believing in me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Down, down, down to Goblin Town!
> 
> I hope you guys liked it! I made it a bit of a fusion with the movie here, with Gandalf having not travel with them from Rivendell and showing up late to save the day. It also gave Helen a moment to freak the hell out. So far it has been pretty true to the book so when she realized that Gandalf wasn't with them, she panicked. 
> 
> Luckily, she thought on her toes and took a leaf from Bilbo's book and stalled like a son of a bitch. Good thing all thing elves freak out goblins cause she played on that for sure.
> 
> Don't be too mad at Thorin. Or at Helen. Or at Fili! Or at me!! 
> 
> They are all under a lot of stress. The dwarves don't know what Helen does, so of course they'd find it odd that she didn't try to stop things from happening. Fili is confused by it as well. He wants to believe her, but nearly dying rattled him and then Goblin Town and he just had many questions.
> 
> Helen is under a lot of pressure too. Being in her shoes would be hard. Knowing bad things are coming and then having to face them would be terrifying. Having them doubt her on top of it and nearly dying repeatedly and her exploding in a rage is no surprise really. Thorin is quick to think negatively. that is just who he is, but the others seemed to have taken her words to heart. Only time will tell for sure.
> 
> I couldn't have Bilbo mad at her too. She did try to help him as best she could and he figured out that it was the ring that is important. He understands that she is in a tough position and won't hold it against her. Sweet little bean.
> 
> More coming soon!
> 
> Chapter banner:  
> https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=231047708


	27. Trust Gained & Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wargs and Eagles and Goblins, Oh My!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *grins nervously*

They ran and ran. The further they could get from the mountain and the goblins therein the better. So they ran. They ran until the path vanished and brush and rocks took its place. They ran down the slopes even as their footfalls let loose the very earth and rocks they ran over sending them banging down the mountain side.

“It is a good thing,” Bombur exclaimed as they took shelter from the rock slide from behind the trunks of some trees, “When night does come, the goblins won’t be able to sneak up on us with this mess to deal with. We’ll hear them a long ways off to be sure!”

Still they ran on. They ran until poor Bilbo pleaded, “Must we go on?” For night had fallen and he thought they surely must have gone far enough.

“A bit further,” Gandalf urged.

Helen placed a hand upon Bilbo’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze of reassurance as she ran keeping his pace alongside him. They came at last to a clearing and the group slowed. Helen looked around nervously.

“Gandalf, we cannot stop here,” she said watching the tree line.

“We have gone a good ways from the mountain,” he said, “It will be fine to catch our breath.”

She shook her head, “No, you don’t understand-“

“Blast it, lass,” Dwalin huffed, “Look at the hobbit. He needs a breather. Don’t worry about the goblins.”

“It is not the goblins I am worried about,” she snapped, “It’s-“

A howl sounded from the woods.

The Company tensed and looked to Helen who looked terrified.

“Wolves!” Bilbo exclaimed in fear.

Helen shook her head, “No, not wolves.”

A growl was heard from the trees. The glint of a pair of eyes flashed from the moonlight. Its eyes were high. Too high of the ground. They looked to be nearly eye level with her. It growled again and more howls erupted from the woods.

The company took off into a run. Helen swooped by Bilbo, clutching him to her chest as she ran. He gave a startled squeak as he saw the wargs jump out of the trees behind them.

“What are those things?” he yelled.

“Wargs,” she said as she raced forward. She surged passed Bombur and Dori and Nori and Ori and Bifur and Bofur. She pushed on passed them all until she ran beside Gandalf. “There is a cliff ahead,” she yelled to him, “We will have need of the Eagles.”

She ran to the last tree upon the cliff edge and thrust Bilbo upwards, “Climb, Bilbo! As high as you can and do not let go!”

The others spilled onto the cliff’s edge. Seeing her sending Bilbo up a tree, they all copied. Gandalf leaping with surprising agility up the tree to the top near Bilbo.

She watched them all climb up, giving Ori and extra boost. The howls were close now, “Helen!” She looked up to see Fíli’s eyes watching her fearfully from a treetop. “Watch out!” He called.

She turned just in time for a warg to sail passed and smack muzzle first into the tree trunk with a great yelp. The tree shook and Ori and Dori and Nori yelled as they clutched on. She turned and ran for the last tree, racing up the branches just in time as the rest of the wargs came spilling out of the trees.

The wargs circled around the bases of the trees, but they could not climb. She stared at them in awe. “Those things are massive,” she said earning a gulp from Bilbo. The wargs turned angrier and took to jumping and snapping with great jaws of sharp teeth, hoping to catch a dwarf in the maws.

“Gracious, you find the oddest things to find fascinating,” he muttered flustered and not at all as interested in how wargs looked as she was.

She chuckled, “Sorry, it is the scientist in me. They remind me of this ancient extinct animal from my world- an Epicyon haydeni. They have the same bulk and size. Look at their faces,” she said.

“I’d really rather not, thank you,” he whimpered as a warg slammed into the base of their tree.

“The muzzles are short and broad. They looks like a weird cross between a big cat and a wolf,” she hummed in thought just as another slammed into the trunk shaking their tree, “Nasty things aren’t they. I wonder what their bite pressure is. Must be huge. Could smash bone to bits I’m sure.”

“Can we not talk about how hard they bite?” Bilbo squeaked.

Helen blinked and then looked up at a very pale and shaking Bilbo. She winced, “Sorry, I nerded out a bit.” She glanced down again shaking her head, “Sometimes this all just doesn’t seem real. It’s like a weird out-of-body experience.”

Gandalf gave a chuckle, “You are an odd one.”

Helen sent him a look, “You’re one to talk. How old are you anyway? Dawn of time or just nearly?”

Gandalf laughed out right at that.

Thorin’s booming voice drew their attention, “How wonderful that you are all having a merry time of things over there, but some of us would very much like to get out of the treetops.”

Gandalf hummed, “Indeed. An excellent point, master Thorin, let me know when you think of something.”

Thorin’s jaw shut with a near audible clack.

Helen would have face palmed if holding on for dear life as wargs attacked the tree wasn’t a necessity.

Bilbo gave a sigh from beside her, “We are safe from their reach at least.”

She shook her head, “Not if they keep slamming into the trees we aren’t.” The things had to be at least 5 to 6 feet long and a good 300 pounds of muscle. Scenes from the film came to mind as their tree took a nasty hit. She’d rather not wait to see if the creatures truly could knock over trees.

She glanced to Gandalf who had been listening to the wargs speak in their twisted language. “Gandalf,” she plucked a pine cone, “A little fire?” She tossed it to him with a grin.

He eyed it and then chuckled, “A fine idea.”

She shrugged, “It was actually yours. I just said it first.”

He chuckled once more and set about plucking many more cones. Bilbo watched confused as Helen too gathered as many as she could reach. His eyes lit up in surprise as Gandalf lit one up with a bright blue fire and sent it sailing down to the wargs. The wargs yelped and scrambled over themselves to escape the fiery projectiles.

Helen smirked and held one of hers up, “Light me up, Gandalf.”

They tossed flaming cones down upon the wargs keeping them from the tree bases as the dry leaf litter on the forest floor caught fire. The dwarfs cheered them on, and even Bilbo got in on the flaming pine cone toss. The wargs’ coats were thick and wiry. The cones got stuck catching their fur on fire. Soon the wargs were rolling over to put out flames and yelping and baying something awful. Some ran off in search of water, whining the whole way.

A great racket came from up the mountain and then goblins came forth. It seemed to rally the wargs who began dragging branches and sticks around the tree bases.

“Why do they have to be intelligent!?” she exclaimed as smoke began to fill the air in thick plumes.

“They mean to burn us out!” yelled Kíli from a few trees away.

Helen began to frantically search the skies for the eagles. The goblins dared not near too close out of fear of the flames and the blue fire Gandalf wielded. They too feared Helen, for they believed it to be her elf-magic that summoned the grey wizard to the halls of Goblin Town. Instead of climbing up the trees after the Company, the goblins sang and taunted.

As the trees they were in finally caught fire, they began to cheer and tempt the dwarves to come down. Gandalf had feared that the eagles would not head his call or that they would not make it in time and he readied to leap down to fight them. He would have been overwhelmed, but he would’ve taken out a vast number of them on the way.

“Gandalf! Wait!” Helen screamed grabbing at his robes. She saw a shadow on the sky and felt a gust of wind. The eagles had made it.

The Lord of Eagles swooped down and plucked Gandalf from the treetop as many others came down upon the goblins and wargs with talons flashing and sharp beaks slicing.

Beside her, Bilbo was coughing from the smoke. She gave his arm a squeeze, “It’s okay. We are saved.”

They were picked out of the trees one by one. Helen holding Bilbo in a crushing hold as she was picked up. They flew high in the air over the tiny trees below. Over streams and hills. It was beautiful, even dangling from the claw of an eagle, like a hardcore version of hang gliding if the glider was sentient.

They came to a wide-shelf on the mountain side. She spied the others sitting near a steep wall all huddled together and looking at the massive eagles with unease. Gandalf stood talking with the Lord of the Eagles. Helen gasped as they were set down at last. Bilbo all but collapsing into a puddle at her feet.

“The Lord of the Eagles,” she stood mouth agape. The eagles were huge. The size of some planes and beautiful to behold. The great eagle Gandalf was speaking to was black as night and when she spoke, he tilted his head to look to her.

“Is this the seer you spoke of?” He asked.

Bilbo squeaked backing up to be with the others.

Gandalf glanced to her, “It is indeed.” He gestured her forward, “Came, Helen, meet the Lord of the Eagles.”

She walked forward to stand at his side and bowed low to the Eagle, “It is an honor to meet you.”

He eyed her curiously, “You look like an elf, but your smell is odd. From where do you come?”

Gandalf began, “She hails from Rivendell among other places.”

She placed a hand on his arm, “It’s okay.”

He eyed her a moment and then gave a nod. He looked to the great eagle, “Forgive me. Her story is a fantastic one and the very Valar are involved.”

The Lord of Eagles gave a nod, “I will not hold the instinct to protect your own against you.” He looked to her once more, “Tell me your story, little one.”

So she did. She spoke of her world and her job and how she fell into this one. She spoke of being discovered by Glorfindel and Elrond’s sons and learning that she was in a fairytale come to life. She told him about her discussion to help this world and to try to save as many lives as she could. She spoke of her discovery that a quest was coming up soon and her choice to learn to fight so she could save the lives of people who deserved so much more. She spoke of the meeting of the dwarves and how much she was excited to meet them and how sad she was when she couldn’t speak to them. She spoke of the journey to Rivendell and the trolls and the Valar’s gift of common tongue. Finally, she spoke of their trip through the Misty Mountains and Goblin Town.

She told them then that their help would be needed. That a great evil was building an army and that they had plans to take the Lonely Mountain and use its current host to do its bidding. The dwarves had begun to chatter amongst themselves at her admission.

As she saw it, this was her first chance to ensure the help they’d need later. She couldn’t afford to tiptoe around the issue. Whether the dwarves believed her or not, they would need all the help they could get.

“Your kin have fought against this evil before. Now it wakens and plots,” She bowed low to the Lord of Eagles, “I beg of you, though you do not know me. Will you aide the Free Peoples’ of Middle Earth to keep the dark forces at bay?”

The great Eagle studied her, “You speak the truth. I smell no lie from you.”

The dwarves stilled in their chatter.

“What you ask of me and my kin is a large request,” the Lord of Eagles said, “I will send eyes to the south to search for what may been seen. You have gained my trust. I believe you speak the truth for I can smell no lie on you. Once we uncover what we may, it will be at the will of our creator that we aid you in the task of crushing the darkness once more.”

She sighed in relief, “Thank you.” Gandalf patted her arm giving her a proud nod of his head. She smiled and then yawned. She covered her mouth in embarrassment, “I’m sorry. That was rude. I’m afraid I’m a bit worn out.”

The great Eagle eyed the group of dwarves and a haggard looking Bilbo a moment before looking back to her, “You’ve been through much, little one. I will gladly let you and your company rest. We will catch you game to eat and bring you wood for fires. Tomorrow we will take you as far as we dare. There are terrible things guarding the skies further on. I would not near there if I could help it. Not until the time is right to make our move.”

She smiled and gave a deep bow, “Thank you. Food and rest would be greatly appreciated.”

He tilted his head and then spoke to his kin. Several took flight to hunt and a few went to collect wood for them to cook over. He turned to her once again, “I would like to hear more of your world, little one. Are there great eagles there?”

She sat on a rock near the Lord of the Eagles perch and spoke of every kind of bird she knew of from home. He had many questions about the different species. Birds of Paradise were most curious to him with their mating dances. The eagles thought that a funny thing and seemed amused as she wiggled about acting out some of the moves she remembered. The dwarves too watched on curiously chuckling as she shimmed and hopped about acting out the birds dances.

“Are there no great, big birds then?” The Lord of Eagles asked.

“We have some that are kind of tall. They cannot fly though and run on two long legs,” She shook her head, “Not as great as you or our kin.” The eagle was pleased at this but also saddened. “There were once great eagles many, many thousands and more years ago. And there are legends and stories and sacred traditions of course.”

“Are there indeed?” he asked intrigued.

“Well, there is the Thunderbird,” she said after a moment.

“Thunderbird?” he asked, “What a name for bird. Is it as mighty as my kin?”

“It is a sacred being of the First Nation people of the country I am from,” she explained. “It is a powerful being said to create thunder from the strength of its wings and many believe it can even cause lightening. There are many descriptions of them, but all describe a truly magnificent creature.”

The eagles looked impressed, “Have you seen such a creature, little one?”

“No, but how wonderful it would be to,” she said, “I’ve only ever seen art depicting them.”

She spoke with the eagles as dinner was made by the dwarves. They had a feast of meats: rabbits, deer and even some sheep. She was asked by the Lord of Eagles to sing something from her world. She sang Blackbird by The Beatles and Nightingale by Norah Jones to the pleasure of the mighty birds. She told them of the famous band named The Eagles, which had them asking her to sing one of their songs, Earlybird.

The Lord of Eagles took to calling her ‘little bird’ after that.

* * *

 

After they had eaten, the Eagles bid them goodnight. They had brought the Company soft tree boughs to make into beds. Bilbo had crashed as had many of the others who were now snoring away.

Helen sat staring into the flames of the fire. She was exhausted, but everything from the past few days was racing through her mind. She had nearly died multiple times, seen creatures that were terrifying, flown high upon an Eagles’ claw, and then made friends with a race of giant eagles. She felt a bit bewildered.

Booted steps had her ears perked, as a dwarf came to stand beside her. She knew right away who it was from his boots alone as they came into view.

“Fíli,” she said in greeting. This was another thing to think about and something she had been trying to push to the back of her mind. It seemed life had other plans. She’d be dealing with this now apparently.

“Helen,” He shuffled his feet a moment.

It was awkward between them. A pain tugged at her heart because of it.

At last he cleared his throat, “May I sit?” he gestured to the space beside her. She shrugged though she didn’t look at him as he settled by her.

She couldn’t stand the awkward silence. “Did you want something?” she asked finally.

He cleared his throat, “What makes you say that?”

She shot him a look and sighed turning back to the fire, “Let’s not kid ourselves. You are here because you wanted to say something. Otherwise you’d be sleeping or just,” she waved her hand, “somewhere distant.”

He frowned as he looked at her, “Can I not just wish to be near you?”

Her mouth pinched, “You’ve barely spoken to me since the stone giants. You’ve hardly looked at me since then either. Give me a little more credit.”

He winced, looking down, “I’m sorry.”

She said nothing turning back to look at the flames.

“I carried you in Goblin Town,” he pointed out.

She scoffed throwing up a hand, “Great! Wonderful! Fantastic! Good to know you wouldn’t leave me to die even if you could hardly stand to look at me. Thank you so much.”

He turned and grabbed one of her hands, “You must see it from my side, love. I was nearly killed. I held you for what I thought would be my last and readied myself to die. And then the goblins! And Thorin said what he did. And I didn’t know what to think. I should not have doubted you for a moment, love.”

She pulled her hand from his, “No, you shouldn’t have.”

His mouth opened and shut. He could think of nothing to say to make it better. His face fell and he looked down.

She closed her eyes shaking her head. She sighed, “I’m not in the easiest of positions.”

“I know you aren’t,” he said.

“Do you truly?” she looked to him, “You don’t know what it is like to watch beloved storybook characters become flesh and blood to grow to truly care for them as living breathing people and then to have to sit back and watch them fall into danger over and over again. You could not possibly know what that is like.”

He knew not what to say.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair catching on the braid and bead. She pulled it around to stare at. Her stomach felt heavy. Her heart hurt. “I get Thorin getting mad at me for not disclosing every little thing. He is shit at dealing with his own emotions and resorts to lashing out instead of dealing. But, I did not expect you to doubt me. After all those things you said about caring for me- You hurt me, Fíli. More than I thought possible,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I love you,” he said as he reached for her but she stopped him.

“Don’t,” she shook her head, “Don’t do that. Don’t say that to me.”

A lump rose in his throat and he had to swallow to get words out, “Helen?”

She just shook her head, “Even when Thorin or whomever is doubting my good intentions, if you truly loved me, you’d trust in me. You can’t say you love me when you can’t even trust me. That’s not love, Fíli.”

“What? No,” he began but she sent him a look. It was her watery eyes that had his mouth shutting with a snap.

“Can you deny it?” she said, “Can you honestly tell me that you never doubted me even for a second?” She watched him a moment as he seemed to wilt.

He couldn’t deny her words. He knew and she knew it.

She stared into the fire, “I have to juggle saving you and Thorin and Kíli without messing up something else and dooming the whole world to a terrible fate. I’ve already messed up once and it nearly got us killed in Goblin Town. I cannot afford to be distracted.”

“I know you carry much. I would not wish to make it harder for you,” he said at last, “Tell me how can I help not be a distraction?”

She sighed, “Fíli, you’ve already made it harder. My feelings for you make it harder. I’m going to constantly be worried if this will finally be the thing that makes you hate me. What happens if I fail in the end? What if I manage to save one or two of you? What if I save you and not Thorin and Kíli? What then?”

He struggled with what to say. The thought of it was too painful for him to be able to think of a response.

“It is bad enough that I care for you all and have to see the distrust in everyone’s eyes. I’m not about to put myself through having the person I love look at me like I’m getting some kind of sick thrill from it,” her eyes pricked with tears, “I have to prioritize. I can’t have this extra weight to bear. Saving Thorin and Kíli and you- that is more important to me than anything else. More important than even being with you. Saving your life is more important to me than having you love me or even like me. You living is the most important thing, even if you hate me in the end.”

He started at that, “What are you saying?”

“Even if I didn’t have the lives of you all and the rest of the world’s future to deal with,” She picked up the braid again, “I would not be with someone who didn’t trust me back in my world and I’m not about to do that to myself here.” She slipped the bead from her hair. Her fingers struggling unwound the braid.

His heart plummeted when he saw what she was doing, “Helen, no.” He fell to his knees before her, “Please don’t do this. I love you. I love you.” His hands hovered over her, not touching. He wasn’t allowed that anymore.

She sniffled as she practically tore at the braid to get it free. She finished at last, tears running freely down her face as she grabbed one of his hands placing the bead in it, “I deserve to be with someone who without a shadow of a doubt trusts in me.” Her voice gave out as a sob escaped, and she stood not wanting him to see her lose it, “Goodbye, Fíli.”

He heard her whispered goodbye. He heard her walk off to her bed of boughs. He heard her tears. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t stop staring at the small bead in his palm, even as his vision became blurred and wet streaks ran down his cheeks into his beard. He felt hallow and shattered all at once.

He had lost his one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides behind desk*  
> Don't hate me!
> 
> It sucks, I know! Trust me, I know! But no matter who the guy is, you should NEVER stay with someone who doesn't trust you. In just the same way as you should NEVER stay with someone you cannot trust. It is not a healthy relationship. Without trust what do you have?
> 
> Helen realizes this and did what was best and healthy for her. As should each of you! I'm not about to condone unhealthy relationships even if it is with dreamboat Fili.
> 
> Now then. Clearly this is not the end of the story. Never fear. They are going to have to deal with this and on the other end they will be better for it.
> 
> My idea of wargs is from Tolkien's description. Peter Jackson got a bit out there with it, I think. His look like weird werewolf-hyena things. I took my inspo from Jackson, Tolkien, and the real life nightmare called the Epicyon Haydeni. It's a crazy proto-wolf that was roughly the size of a large lion. You can google that bad boy or check out his recontructed self here: https://romanyevseyev.deviantart.com/art/Epicyon-haydeni-293103501 Slap some wiry wolf fur on that badboy and you've got a Warg.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the time with the eagles. They are left out of fics so often. They are such a huge factor in the coming battle and Helen knows this. So getting them in early on the battle to come is her first step to saving the Durins. Singing every 'bird' themed sing she could think of probably helped. haha
> 
> More soon! Don't hate me! D:


	28. Declarations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the Eagles leave the story for now, the Company heads to new perils, but what of the tension that has settled over them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this seemed so much longer to me than it will to you.

The next morning came early. Too early. Helen barely slept. When she was woken by Bofur, he spotted her undone braid and gave her a solemn look. She spent the rest of the morning closest to the eagles and avoiding the pitying looks of the company, sans Bilbo who was still sleeping.

The Lord of Eagles was perched by her as she looked out over the land spread out before the mountains. He had sharp eyes and saw her crushed demeanor and saw the way the fairest dwarf watched her with a heartbroken and longing expression.

“Mating for eagles is nothing like the Birds of Paradise you spoke of yesterday,” he said.

She glanced up at him curiously. It was out of left field, but she wasn’t about to say that to a giant eagle, “Oh? Do you freefall? That is what eagles in my world do.”

“We do,” he looked impressed, or as impressed as an eagle could look, “It is the ultimate act of trust. Knowing that your mate would trust you not to let them crash upon the rocks is a sign of the highest bond.”

Helen smiled softly, “That is kind of romantic actually.”

“We, eagles, are not all talons and sharp claws,” the Lord of Eagles chuckled, “I have found that out of all other things it is trust that sets the strongest foundation in any pursuit of relations between peoples. It is trust that allows a kingdom to flourish and friendship to grow.”

She couldn’t help glancing over her shoulder to where the Company sat talking near the fire. The fairest of them caught her eye like a magnet. The morning light and fire nearby made his hair look like spun gold. She once again thought of how odd it was for someone so very masculine and rugged to be so breathtakingly beautiful.

Even so, his usual glow seemed dimmed. The inner light that seemed to radiate out of him muted. His expression lacked its usual spark, however. The flicker of mirth and pride was dimmed as he was staring blankly into the flames as the others talked. Her instinct was to go to him to try and bring the glimmer back into his eyes. Her heart clenched and she had to force her eyes away. It would only make things worse. No matter how much she wished it wasn’t so, it was better to end things now rather than let it end in animosity.

She saw the Lord of Eagles watching her knowingly. “Do not settle until you find the one who would freefall for you and with you, little bird,” he said.

She smiled sadly, looking back out over the beautiful landscape spread out before them, “I won’t.”

It was not too long after that Gandalf came and spoke with him once more. “Though the risk is great, if we fly high, we can carry you to the borders of Mirkwood,” the Lord of Eagles said.

Helen startled, “No!”

The Lord of Eagles tilted his head at her. Gandalf pursed his lips, “I would wager that there is something between now and there that we must not avoid?”

Helen nodded with a wince, “Yes, I’m sorry.” She looked to the Lord of Eagles, “Thank you for offering to take us so far, but there is another ally we must meet if the coming battle is to end in our favor.”

The great eagle dipped his head, “My eyes see much but not so far as yours, little bird.”

Gandalf asked, “How far may we go without putting things to risk?”

She grimaced, “I do not know how far past the point that it occurs without my presence in this world.”

The great eagle eyed her curiously, “May I ask the name of the place you know?”

“I only know it as Carrock,” she answered.

The eagle hummed, “Carrock is not too far for us. I can see why it was where we would have taken you. We stay from the villages of Men if we can. They are quick to shoot their arrows.”

Gandalf nodded, “Indeed, the last time was poisoned. A nasty business.”

Helen frowned, “Ah, so that’s how you met?”

“You know much, little bird. It is true. That is how I came to know Gandalf for he treated my wounds and healed the poison,” the great Eagle looked out across the distance, “If it is Carrock you must go, then it is there we shall bring you. I am curious who it is you seek to meet for the only one I know who lives in the lands between that place and the Great Wood is not too welcoming of guests.”

“It is true, but his friendship is a must. We cannot afford to avoid the encounter,” she explained.

Gandalf hummed in thought, “He is skittish to newcomers and not fond of dwarves. But if it is he we must seek then so be it.” He patted Helen on her shoulder, “Fret not, child. I will help you to keep things straight as best I can.” He nodded to himself, “I will go inform the others.”

She watched him go letting out a sigh of relief. It was good to have Gandalf there to help her keep things from going too astray. It was good to have someone there who trusted her. Her eyes flicked to the sprawled out hobbit who was sleeping still, mouth agape. She chuckled. Perhaps she had more than just Gandalf’s trust.

The Lord of Eagles looked as Gandalf neared once more. The Company had been alerted to their leaving soon and had been informed that the Eagles would be helping them travel a great ways. “Thank you old friend,” Gandalf said to the great eagle, “You do us a great service.”

“I am glad to help old friends and new ones,” the eagle said.

Gandalf looked to Helen once more, “I will ride on Landroval with our burglar. It seems his journey through Goblin Town wore him out.”

Helen grinned glancing over to the hobbit once more. “He needs the rest,” she agreed.

 The Company packed what few items they had and each climbed atop an eagle. Helen spied Kíli’s expression and bit back her laughter. He’d likely find the barrels of Mirkwood just as much of a thrill. Other members looked less thrilled. Dwalin looked as though he had sucked on a sour lemon as he sat atop his eagle, and Thorin, though somehow still annoyingly majestic with his hair billowing in a breeze, looked stiff and entirely uneasy. Several others looked to be attempting to pluck their eagles of their feathers from the way they held tight. Others still seemed as though it was an everyday thing to go riding upon the back of a giant eagle. She nearly laughed aloud when she saw a fearless and entirely at ease Ori having a casual conversation with his eagle mount and his elder brothers looked ready to pass out or hurl.

She watched with interest as Thorin insisted that he be the one to watch over their dozing burglar. Gandalf shot her a look as the hobbit was snuggled into the feathers with Thorin sitting behind acting as guard. Helen would’ve smiled at that, if her heart wasn’t so crushed still. She felt the eyes of one of the Company on her most keenly. Though he always looked away if she glanced his way, she knew it was he.

She sighed not knowing where she should go. The Lord of Eagles looked down at her as he hopped down from his perch, “We are ready, little bird, come,” he said leaning so she may climb on to his back, “I’d have you sing me another song as we fly.”

When at last, they landed atop the rocky formation of Carrock. The dwarves all but hugged the ground as they departed their rides. The Lord of Eagles landed softly and she turned to give a low bow after she dismounted, “Thank you. We’ve gone further than we would’ve been able to cover in a solid few days of hiking. The rest and meal was much needed.”

The great eagle dipped his large head in a return of her gesture, “You are most welcome, little bird.” He tilted his head at her, “If it is the Bear you seek, I have a token for you to show that you are friend to the Eagles.” He lifted his wing and with his great beak he plucked a single feather from his down. He held it out to her and she took it carefully.

She ran her fingers over it gently. It was a lighter color than his overall near black and it was very soft. Though likely one of his smallest feathers, it was still larger than her palm and round in shape.

“Keep it with you. The scent will catch the Bear’s attention and his curiosity will be peaked,” the great Eagle explained, “When he sees that it is a gifted token, it should allow you passage to his lands. From there, it is up to you.”

She held it to her chest, “Thank you. Truly. For this and for your help.”

“The Eagles of Manwë are happy to be of service, Lady Helen of the House of the Goldenflower, friend of Eagles and Valar sent,” he said with great levity.

She flushed at hearing her name put to such titles, “Goodness that is a mouthful.”

The Lord of Eagles grinned, “Let us stick to simpler names. You may refer to me as Gwaihir.”

She smiled, “Only if you call me Helen, though I’m rather fond of ‘little bird’ as well.”

* * *

 

She watched as the Eagles departed. They were breathtaking creatures and she couldn’t believe she had met and spoken with them. She looked down to the gifted feather.

“I have a feeling that I missed quite a bit as I slept,” said a rumpled looking Bilbo as he came to stand at her side, “I woke up on an Eagle’s back practically in the lap of Thorin Oakenshield. That was a jolt, let me tell you.” He glanced over to see her staring at the feather. “What is that?”

“A gift,” she said, “Gwaihir, Lord of Eagles, said it would help convince the next person we must ally.”

The hobbit hummed curiously, “Gracious, I did miss a lot, didn’t I? Well, there is nothing to it now. I shall have the rest needed to journey on. Where are we headed next?”

“To Mirkwood, Master Baggins,” came the deep voice of Thorin from Helen’s other side. He came to stand at the edge and get a view of their whereabouts. “We aim for the good road through those woods and from there…“ Thorin trailed off looking to something in the horizon.

Bilbo followed Thorin and Helen’s gaze. Far off in the distance stood a single peak stretching high into the sky. He sucked in a breath, “Is that?”

“Erebor,” Helen nodded, “That is our destination.”

“Gracious me, it is a ways yet still,” Bilbo said in awe of the sight.

Thorin grunted, “Indeed. Come. We must journey on. The Eagles have taken us a distance, but they’ve not spared us a walk.”

Helen frowned but bit her tongue. It wasn’t worth it to try and explain, and frankly, she didn’t have the energy to try. She looked to Bilbo who was still staring in wonder at the far off mountain, “Come on. Let’s not be left behind.”

Bilbo seemed to shake himself, “Hm, right. Right.” He fell in step beside Helen as they followed the line of dwarves being lead down by Gandalf and Thorin. He noticed the damper of Fíli’s demeanor and the sorrowful glances Kíli kept sending Helen’s way. As they climbed down the steep stairs a ways behind the rest, he couldn’t help asking, “Was there anything else I missed during my sleep? Anything more, uh, dynamic?”

Helen glanced at him and saw where he was looking. She sighed, “I broke up with Fíli.”

Bilbo looked confused, “Broke up?”

She grimaced as her shin hit a small boulder as she climbed down a taller step. Turning to help Bilbo down it she explained, “I ended our courtship.”

Bilbo’s face crumpled, “Oh dear. What happened? Was he inappropriate?  Were you mistreated? He may be a dwarf but I’ll give him a firm talking to if he did!”

Helen couldn’t help the small smile that earned. Bilbo was ready to defend her honor, and it was impossibly sweet and endearing. “It was nothing like you are thinking,” she said, “I was hurt but it was my feelings that suffered.” She gave a sad sigh, “He doesn’t trust me. Not fully anyway. I can’t be with someone who holds doubts about me.”

Bilbo looked sad, “I am sorry, Helen.”

She could only shrug, “It is what it is. It sucks, but nothing to be done for it. Besides, I have to worry about keeping them alive. Everything else is trivial.”

Bilbo touched her arm, “Your feelings are not trivial.”

She smiled down at him, “Thank you.”

He blinked, “What for?”

She grinned with a light laugh, “For being a friend. For being you. I am glad to have met you, Bilbo Baggins.”

He smiled shyly at that and patted her arm affectionately, “In that case, thank you as well, Helen of the house of the Goldenflower, Eagle friend, and Valar sent.”

She grimaced, “Oh bullocks, heard that, did you?”

He chuckled, “Hard to miss a title like that.”

“I take it back,” she huffed, “You’re a bully, Bilbo Baggins.”

He laughed at her pouting face as they continued the steep climb down. The path down the rocky hill was narrow and the steps looked to have been carved from the rock many ages ago. It lead in a winding fashion down around the hill and to a running stream below. There in the stream Helen saw that large flat stone had been laid down as a way across. She was hesitant as the Company and Gandalf made for a decent sized cave that laid at the hills base facing the stream.

Balin spotted her and Bilbo lagging behind at the opening and called out, “What is it, lass? Is this place not safe?”

At this the rest of the Company froze and looked nervously about. Bilbo too stepped closer to her side.

“Ah, no, not anything like that,” she flushed in embarrassment as she admitted, “I’m just a bit nervous with caves. In my world, you have mountain lions to worry about, but here…”

Thorin looked irritated, “Do not bother to ask. She would not give us warning should danger lurk around the bend.”

Helen bowed up ready to speak but another’s voice drew everyone’s attention. “That’s not true,” Fíli stepped forward to stand before his Uncle.

“Fíli enough,” Thorin dismissed his words turning to enter the cave.

“No,” Fíli stopped him, “It needs to be said.” He looked over the faces of the Company, “It is no lie that I too felt doubt. The stone giants and Goblin Town were great perils, it is true. But I was wrong to doubt her. After everything we’ve been told and all she has done for us so far.” He glanced at Helen, who looked down with a wince. “And, who could say what would have happened had Helen tried to warn us. Would we not have tried to avoid facing them all together? Did you not hear her words as she spoke to the Eagles? Did not you hear her negotiating their aid in the battle to come?”

“Fíli, I said it is enough,” Thorin’s words were spoken as steel, but Fíli did not bow down.

“It is enough, Uncle,” he demanded firmly, “If Helen would have told us of the giants and goblins, we would have turned to another route over the mountains. The Eagles would never have become our allies. Would any of us have trusted her for her word when she declared that we must go on to face such perils less our futures be at stake?”

Thorin let out a growl of frustration as he stepped up to tower over his nephew, “Would you have me take the word of she who has withheld knowledge from us over the risk to my kin? Tell me, nephew, how would you have me lead this Company?”

Losing his One had showed him the error of his ways. He knew now what he had been too proud to see. He lifted his chin and met his Uncle’s gaze undeterred, “I would have you set aside your pride and accept the help the Maker saw fit to send us before you lose as I have lost because of it.”

Thorin scowled, “Before I lose? I have a kingdom, the lives of my kin, and the future of my people to lose. What have you lost?”

“My One,” Fíli’s declaration earned a mix of reactions. Some had heard that Helen was Fíli’s One and were surprised that they were no longer courting. Others had not heard her called his One and were thus shocked at the declaration. And some knew of both and thus looked sad for the parting of the two.

Helen stared at Fíli’s back in surprise.

“Your One?” Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose, “She was a flirtation, a distraction, a warmer for your bed perhaps, but she is not your One. She is not dwarrow. I’ve had enough of this pointless chatter.” He dismissed the conversation and entered the cave like a dark cloud.

The Company parted as he passed. The air was heavy as it settled over them. One by one, they gave Fíli and Helen a sympathetic glance and followed their king until Kíli was the last of his kin to stand outside. He neared his elder brother who stood staring after Thorin with his fist tightly clenched at his side.

Kíli grabbed his shoulder, “Do not let Uncle’s words get to you. He is not used to you standing up to him, Fee. He is stuck in his ways, you know this.” He patted his brother and then looked up to where Helen stood staring at Fíli in a daze.

He smiled at an anxious looking Bilbo hovering by her side as he approached the pair. He brought his fist across his chest and bowed to Helen, “I want to apologize.”

She rose her hands, “Kíli, you don’t have to do that…”

He straightened frowning as he shook his head, “No, I do and I should. I too felt doubt when I should not have. I have come to know you, Helen, and I’d even call you a friend, if I may?”

A small smile flitted across her face at his hopeful expression, “You may.”

He smiled and then grabbed her hand, “Then you must allow me to beg your forgiveness. Fee was right; we are a stubborn lot. I cannot blame you for fearing that things may come to a bad end because of it. I promise to not doubt you again. Can you forgive me?”

She couldn’t help but chuckle at his puppy-eyed expression, “Goodness, I feel for your mother having to deal with a puppy face like that.” Kíli cracked a grin and Helen sighed, “Of course I forgive you.”

Kíli let out a great sigh, “Whew, that’s a relief. I feared I may have lost your friendship forever.”

“Kíli, you will always have my friendship,” she said, “It would be nice if you all would help me to save your lives though.”

He took on the manner of an excited puppy, “Oh, anything. Anything at all that you need. Just ask. I promise.”

She grinned amused, “Alright, I’ll hold you to that.”

He chuckled and then glanced at his brother who stood looking at the ground unmoved from before. Kíli cleared his throat, “Uh, Bilbo, I had something I wanted to show you, er, ask you?”

Helen’s brow rose at his obviousness. Bilbo seemed to jump right on board. “Oh of course, yes,” he rocked back on his heels nodding a bit too enthusiastically, “Let’s go, hm, over there.” He said pointing toward the cave.

Kíli nodded, “Oh yes, there is good.”

Bewildered and amused, Helen watched them all but scurry off giving glances to Helen and Fíli that were not in the least bit subtle. Helen couldn’t help but let out a snort once they vanished, “I hope they don’t think they are being sly.”

Fíli’s mouth twitched upward, “I can’t speak for Mr. Baggins, but Kee is as subtle as a troll.”

She laughed softly at that. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. His mouth was quirked upward in amusement, but he was looking down to his hands as he fiddled with his gloves. He looked timid, which something Fíli never looked. Reserved? Yes. But timid? Never. He always held himself proudly. Shoulders squared and head held high with his chin tilted upwards just so- he was confident and proud. It made her sad to see how unsure he was near her now.

It was her turn to look unsure as she looked down, “I, uh, I wanted to thank you… for before with Thorin. You didn’t have to put yourself in that position, so thank you.”

He looked up as she began, watching her face as she spoke. “It was what I should have done before,” he said, “Thorin had no right to say those things about you. I apologize on his behalf. I’m ashamed that my Uncle would speak thus to a woman, let alone you.”

She grimaced remembering his insults, “He seems to be back to hating me, doesn’t he?”

Fíli frowned, “He doesn’t hate you. My Uncle is not the gentlest of persons. He carries much, and while it doesn’t excuse his behavior, it does explain it a bit. Even so, he never should have spoken of you so. You are so much more than a passing flirtation or some means of brief pleasure. By all rights, I could call him out for such slander.”

“Call him out? Like duel or something?” she asked confused.

“Something like that,” he said, “It’s called an Honor Feud. In our culture, insulting another’s One is a great offense,” he said before realizing what he had said. He looked up in alarm to see Helen’s weary gaze.

“What exactly does ‘one’ mean?” she asked.

He sighed looking away, “This is not how I planned to tell you. It was going to be romantic and we were-“ He paused before looking back to her, “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

She frowned at that, “I still would like to know.” She had an inkling, but she didn’t want to assume. Most of her knowledge on the subject came from the briefest of mentions in Tolkien’s works and a lot of fan theories.

He nodded solemnly, seemingly resigned to his fate, “Very well, I will tell you. But know that it doesn’t change anything between us. Not unless you wish it so.” He waited until she nodded in agreement before he spoke, “A dwarf loves differently than Men, though similar to Elves. Most dwarfs will not have any romantic inclination or urges unless they find their One. It is said that when Mahal makes a soul for each dwarrow he makes them in pairs. Twins made out of the same fea and crafted together. It is these souls who when in dwarrows are called One. It is the one your soul calls to and so that is what we call it.”

She swallowed feeling a bit overwhelmed, “So, it is like soulmates? The person you are destined to be with?”

“In a way,” he said though he was quick to reassure her, “It doesn’t have to be romantically, though it most often is. It has happened that a dwarf will find their One, but the feeling is not returned romantically. In these cases, the bond is there but it can be platonic.”

She nodded, “Alright, so you think that I’m your…”

He shook his head, “I don’t think it. I know it.”

She looked at him in surprise. His voice was so sure. “How can you be sure? I’m not a dwarf. Thorin said-“

He rose a hand, wincing, “Please, don’t think on what Thorin said. He is not me. He does not feel what I feel. He is wrong.”

She shook her head, “But how do you know?”

“Because,” he began thinking of how to put it into words, “Because it feels as though my very soul reaches out for you when you are near.”

Her breath hitched.

He continued, “Because no matter where you are around me, there is this part of my mind that seems to sense your presence. Because being near you is like being immersed in the warmest of baths or wrapped in a woolen blanket before the fire, it feels like home. Because being apart from you feels like part of me is hollowed without you.” He stopped glancing at her before looking away, his cheeks tinged pink above his beard. He rubbed his neck, “It is hard to put into words. Other than I just know.”

She swallowed and opened her mouth only to close it and swallow again. What did she say to something like that? What could she say?

He watched her be at a loss for words and he felt a spark catch fire within him. He knew that he may never win her back, but he would not give up. He loved her. He just had to be worthy of her love in return.

“Helen,” He stepped closer, “Even if I cannot be with you, I will always stand by you. I will have your back on and off the battlefield. I have found you, my One, and to be in your life in anyway will be an honor and a gift. I messed up with you before. I understand that now. But I will never stop loving you. And I will never stop trying to make it right.”

Helen watched in a trance from the intensity in his gaze as he gingerly picked up her hand and bowed over it. She didn’t realize that she held her breath until he stepped away, breaking contact as he left to join the others in the cave. Her hand felt as pins and needles where he had held it so tenderly. It was the spark in his gaze that had her heart hammering in her chest. Gone was timid Fíli. In his place was a determined warrior. Try as she might, she couldn’t bring herself to bet against him and his goal.

A clearing of the throat made her nearly jump out of her skin. She whirled around hand to her chest to spy Gandalf leaning casually on his staff. “Sweet baby Jesus, you scared the piss out of me!” she exclaimed.

Grey bushy brows rose, “Is that so? Well, it was not my intent though it seemed necessary to remind someone of my presence. I fear it has been all but forgotten in the past few minutes.”

Helen’s face heated realizing that he had witnessed absolutely all of what just happened including her oddly intense moment with Fíli just now. She gave a sheepish look, “Sorry.”

“Not to worry,” he said placing an arm around her shoulder to steer her to the cave, “I’ve waited so you wouldn’t miss out.”

She looked skeptical, “Miss out on what?”

Gandalf chuckled, “On reminding the Company that my presence was never intended to linger so far passed the Misty Mountains, of course.”

Helen groaned, “Oh crap, is that now?”

“It is indeed,” he confirmed.

“Wonderful,” she grumped, “This will absolutely improve Thorin’s mood.”

“Ah, but you’ve gained some loyal allies, have you not?” he quirked a brow.

She narrowed her eyes assessing but not sure if he was teasing her or reassuring her.

They entered the cave to see the Company in conversation about which route would be best to go from here. Gandalf stepped forward leaving her side as he clapped his hands, “Ah very good, it was just this that I wished to discuss with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then. That was a lot of stuff in one chapter, no?
> 
> Let's see, we have Helen being named Eagle-friend. Bilbo and Helen bonding, after Thorin demands he be the one to watch over a sleeping Bilbo on the last Eagle ride. CUTE. We had Thorin and Helen butting heads, and Fili standing up to his Uncle and calling out the whole Company for their treatment of her. Then that cutsy Kili and Helen moment. And then Fili!
> 
> He apologies, explains what a One is, declares her as his One, promises that it will change nothing if she doesn't wish it, and tells her that he will not give up fighting for her because he loves her.
> 
> I don't know about ya'll, but I just want to keep him for myself. Helen is beyond overwhelmed. Her and Fili have much to work out, but how can you stay mad at him after that? Trust will have to be earned and rebuilt stronger than ever, but maybe now they won't be tiptoeing around each other with pained expressions all the time.
> 
> Up next is everyone's favorite Bear-man.
> 
> Bashful Fili describing what a One is:  
> https://i.pinimg.com/236x/92/94/25/9294251c3ed59354b0ce1ae0ce10c429--hobbit--fangirling-university.jpg


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